Where did the time go? [looks inside the folds of the sofa] Nope, it’s not there. [eats week-old Cheeto] The Wild Card spots are sorta, kinda, maybe taking a bit of shape. But maybe that dead-in-the-water 4-6 team will win out and sneak in with the help of three different statistically improbable improbabilities! The Raiders could very well beat Real Madrid in week 17 during a midnight game under a full moon in Wichita! I’ve seen it happen before. TO THE GAMES!
TB/Atl: The magic number here is 20. If the Bucs D holds a team under that total they tend to win. For the Falcons the same number scored virtually guarantees a victory. Start rb Coleman again because Freeman is still out.
Cle/Cin: Well looky here, it’s “The Bourble of Ohio”! Celebrate by starting a fire in a steel drum-the hobos will come right out of the woodwork. After that? The canned beans must flow…
Ten/Ind: The Titans haven’t won in Indy since I was in my early 40’s. (I’m almost 75 now) Rb Gore needs just 89 yards to pass Bettis for 6th all-time in rushing. No, he’s not human.
Buf/KC: Shout out to the Bills coaching brain trust! After giving up 34 and 47 points in back-to-back games they came to the conclusion that, “that damn Tyrod Taylor isn’t putting enough points on the board to support our D!”. Good luvin’. Lo and behold, a 5th round rook qb is thrown into the fire and the Chargers feast on the kid. If you’ve got an issue at the wr spot you could do worse than Zay Jones for the Bills. His fellow wr Benjamin is out and wr Matthews and te Clay are both hobbled. Go ahead, roll them dice.
Mia/NE: Another week, another Pats blowout. NFL Excitement, y’all!
Car/NYJ: Te Olsen’s broken foot is finally back from the infirmary which is lovely news given that the Jets can’t cover that position. They’ve given up 6 TD’s there. The Panthers have to be looking over their shoulders as the Falcons seem to have put things back together recently. Carolina will roll.
Chi/Phi: Chicago is about to go through the meat grinder. Speaking of which, have you ever tried bear sausage? I have and it’s not as bad as you’d think. [waits for Seamus to pounce on this]
[ties bow around game intro post] There! We’re all set. Heave-ho, commenters!
Ertz so good.
But really fuck the Eagles.
[kicks Spur out of the taxicab he is driving]
– Tiki Barber
This looks easier than I was expecting it to be
My Bears are not professional grade
There is a reason the line was 14.
Oh Philly is good.
Ertz TD! OH YEA!!!!!!!!
I will argue that in context, this is the single funniest shot in cinema history.
Yea that is called a bow-sprit. Boat names are weird….
Oh shit. I forgot Prince Amukamara was still a thing
You’re telling me he’s not injured right now?
Just got back from the store. anyone else enjoying PHI/BEARIT?
Yup! It’s what we get in LA.
Western Canadia too.
Like 60% of the country is getting it just to stick it to Bears fans nationwide
Heading to the bar to watch it now. Apologies for needing to wear pants.
BOO THIS MAN!
Are ya at least wearing shorts?
Forgiveness please
Holy shit BART sucks. What kind of half assed public transit system just doesn’t run an entire line on Sundays? And of course it’s the line to where I live so now I have to take a Lyft home from the city. Oh, and that was also how I was going to get to the Raiders game, so there’s now pretty much no way I can get home drop of my NOT A CLEAR BAG (yes, this is your fault too NFL, if I could take a small backpack into the stadium I could just take BART to the Coliseum and Lyft home from there) and still make it to the game on time to stand in this annoying drizzle to watch two teams I’m fairly indifferent towards.
She said “the city”.
LMFAO
I know!
She’s assimilating more quickly than expected…
Tech bros made Seven of Nine so…yeah.
That’s generally how people who live in suburbs refer to the city they live near. I didn’t capitalize it, I used it as the noun that it is. I can find literally thousands of similar usages referring to a plethora of cities
We don’t do that in LA. Told you NoCal was a bad place…??
Thats because LA doesn’t have any suburbs, it’s already its own damn suburb so there’s no city to go into. And it’s not exactly a model of useful public transit either.
Yup. Btw, you have two, arguably three, major cities close to you. Which one were you referring to?
Good Morning Dok! How was the play?
“Tell us more about this.” -The MTA
That’s what you get for living in a city that was built on Rock and Roll instead of a more practical foundation of safe and reliable public transportation.
Also faults. It was built on faults.
“What is this ‘public’ transit you speak of?” -Arizona
well, at least something hasn’t changed in the last 20 years.
(Nearly got stranded at the Coliseum late one night more than twenty years ago due to BART running exactly one train that late, which left about 5 min after the end of the show.)
Bengals run…positive yards?
I’m getting an Ultimate Cheesy Crust Pizza from Pizza Hut today.
My defenses are down.
But not your cholesterol, interestingly enough.
Gentlemen and lady/ladies
It’s funny that you think any of us here are remotely gentlemanly, when we all know full well each and every one of us has yet to put pants on today.
No pants here
I did actually.
But they’re off again now. Your point is valid.
Had to take oxypug out, a little chilly sans pants
I had a Sunday morning student, and friends of the family or not, it’s probably a good idea for me to wear pants around a girl of her age, as I am not Roy Moore.
I went to the grocery and Home Depot this morning so I had to put on pants. In my defense, I didn’t shower and am still wearing yesterday’s underpants. Does that count?
Take them off now and we’ll let it slide.
Howzabout I put on a dress? Or maybe a kilt…
Kilt is allowed as long as there is no underwear.
Absolutely no undies with kilt. That would defeat the purpose. *scratch scratch*
You survived the “inlaws” thanksgiving weekend?
In laws were easier than lady BFC around her extended family. Holy stressballs Batman
Decided to let it all ride on Aints moneyline +120.
Why you no RAMMMIT?
Mostly because I think they’ll lose.
Cuz they suck?
Howdy.
Its okay. The Browns will mess it up. Its okay. Itsokay. okayokayokayokayokay
Browns are going to make a Hippo sad.
Defenseless Receiver? Doesn’t there need to be a pass into to be a receiver?
Fakeapuntus erectus!
I’m 6-5 and hanging on by a thread. I’m the proverbial cornered rat today, so I’m rolling with Martavis Bryant, baby! I feel like a human Iron Maiden song. ? FLY AS HIGH AS THE SUUUUUN!!!?
WOOOO FAKE PUNTS!!!!
Big game for Cam please.
Also Eagles D.
I can sign off on this.
Cam gonna Cam
It’s a great day for football, folks. Time to watch some RedZone (including SQUISHIN’ THA FACKIN’ FISH!!!11!!) before heading out to catch the Grey Cup Live!!
I have $55 on Cincy (line went all the way down to -7.5). I am not proud of this wager.
Aw, Hippo. Why?
We may need to stage an intervention…
Historically, you dominate Battle FOAR Ohio, esp at home
Yes, but historically we had a functional o-line.
And a defense that doesn’t get ejected.
Folks
Me reading the Sports page in the Sunday paper.
Headline: “Can Hue Jackson, Bengals reunite?”
Me: “No. No. That’s not true. That’s impossible!”
Byline: “Search your feelings. You know it to be true!”
Me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSWiMoO8zNE
I’m actually looking forward to Eagles Bears. Something is wrong with me.
Your crazy man. Your Crazy!
Trap game!
No, you’re thinking of the Chargers game, and it’s actually “tarp game”.
I assume you are referring to the tarps thrown over the unsold seats?
At least they’re already blue.
This is the place for you then.
Lets ride!
:large
That’s a better driver than the Bengals.
?1423780986
So the lines on today’s games I was already looking to bet moved. Both in the right direction.
Aints (+2.5) and Donks (+5)
Now just gotta decide if I wanna go all in on Aints or hedge with Donks. A little alcohol should clear things up, no?
If you’re betting the Saints, you might as well go money line. +2.5 doesn’t do much for you.
Yup, I expect them to win outright and was just looking at the moneyline as a matter of fact.
You smrt. Or psychic. Or spying one me.
WHERE’S THE CAMERA????????
I don’t understand how the Raiders are favored by five against ANYONE.
It’s because of that one fan who wore his lighted Raiders sweater to his in-laws’ holiday dinner.
Holy shit, I made it back in time. I even have time to drink a little pre-game.
How’s your dad doing?
‘Bout the same.
He’s not very talkative these days.
Mine as well-haven’t been to his grave in a bit and you reminded me to do so.
Usually the noon Sunday Patriots games vs. the AFC East are not broadcast here in South Texas, but since Texans don’t play till tomorrow and Cowboys already played, I’ve got a Texas-free slate this afternoon. Dolphins game should be a real horror show, but I’m gonna watch until CBS switches over to a “more competitive game” (will it be BUF/KC or CLE/CIN?).
Have you seen the Pats schedule? It’s all AFC East plus Steelers! They’re going into the playoffs undefeated…
Yeah, this stretch looked a little more challenging earlier this season, when the Pats had lost two at home and the rest of the East actually looked somewhat competent. But order has returned to the universe, as many suspected it would.
No, don’t be a hero. I’m falling onto the CLE/CIN sword for everyone.
The Browns may be eliminated from the AFC North but they alive in the Wild Card. According to some unfortunate nerd at FiveThirtyEight, the Browns have a one in 20 quintillion (nineteen quintillion, six-hundred forty-nine quadrillion, nine-hundred twenty-two trillion, eighty-five billion, six-hundred ninety-six million, nine-hundred thousand to be precise).
All that has to happen is 46 different things including two ties. That will leave the Browns at 6-10 tied with the Ravens for the sixth-seed, which they will own the 2nd tiebreaker due to better divisional record against Baltimore.
Its almost too easy.
fun with maths!
Knowing the Browns, 41 of those things will happen, but the 5 that won’t will be the Browns winning as they go 1-15.
I know what I’m rooting for!
Hey, Yeah Right, are you and DJ Taj venturing to the Coli today? I heard there’s a Groupon…
DJ Taj, brother wrongest right and my twin nephews are going. Solid seats around the 20 yard line.
My knees aren’t right for the Colliseum anymore. Too many stairs and no hand rails makes a bad combination.
I’ll watch from home..
Sweet! Tell him we expect a hallucinatory Boots On The Ground.
At the very least, I’d be interested to hear how shitty the RAMMIT Coli experience is…
hell yeah. I’ll see if I can make that happen.
Mornin’ folks. I intend to get my lazy ass back in the gym today. Looks like I get Buffalo-KC in the morning and will have to stream the Raiders game this afternoon (apparently the Rams are, like good or something and it’s justifiable to broadcast them here in LA).
Nah, it’s the stupid broadcast rules. Working out is a good idea, though…
I hit the gym yesterday and it was an hour well spent. It also wasn’t too crowded.
I went to the gym, it was crowded, and I nearly had a heart attack. Never going back.
It is CHAOS! HUDDERSFIELD….what Huddlesmith….whatever the fuck….HAS SCORE A GOAL!
Would be fantastic if that held up.
14 minutes to the beer store! Why didn’t I buy enough yesterday?
Anyone catch that Auburn was fined when the fans (college kids) rushed the field? https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/sec-fines-auburn-250000-for-fans-storming-field-after-win-over-alabama/
Worth it!
And the money from the fine goes to???
My guess? North Carolina basketball players.
“No, I didn’t catch that.”
– Amari Cooper
My stomach exploded this morning. I look forward to ruining it further watching the Bears get pounded by the Eagles.
You would be doing us Vikings fans a great service if you would go ahead and kick their ass.
One is the mom and the other is the daughter. WHICH IS WHICH?
Mom on left
I’d rather do mom.
Ditto. Those small sturdy blondes just get me every time.
I could do without the wrap around ink, tho.
I thought that was a port wine stain.
I don’t think either one has to worry about capsizing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7m4jiYZFl8
So the secret is to have white creamy stuff on your hands, eh?
I’ll pass that on to the lady friend…
Lots of changes in the Pac 12…
And with a questionable penalty, we get the win… #icanlivewiththat
Also heyo gents
I’m really surprised that, under Trump, the Miss Universe pageant has not gone to thong bikini bottoms.
weird thought: In the future, is president pumpkin spice gonna build a presidential library?
Whatever….. Its football time!
Yes, but it will have a wall around it.
No. It’ll be inaccessible Ark in the basement of Fox News Studios.
Yes but no books or memos, only tweets
Remaindered Art of the Deal copies, kids placemats from diners that he drewded on, and the wall of tweets. It’s a hallway. Leads to a complementary vomitorium.
Eithe Trump Tower or tries to strong-arm the Central Branch of the NYPL.
Has anyone cooked Yeah Right’s Mother Sauce?
Yes. Phenomenal. Used it for a base for bolognase and also made chicken parm with it.
Solid. We’re hosting Christmas and I was thinking of just going italian because small kitchen/prep/fuck these people. Was thinking of doing like a big baked ziti, a big pot of sauce (w/sausage & meatballs), some roasted vegetables, salad, and appetizers. I don’t have a good sauce recipe though so I’m gonna give Mother Sauce a shot today as a bit of a dry run.
Hey everybody, did you hear that?
CHRISTMAS DINNER AT BLAX’S HOUSE!!!!!
(seriously…that sounds good as hell)
It is very versatile and you can modify it for whatever you are making. Great base sauce.
Thanks all. I made a big batch a couple of weeks ago, this one with the sausage and the ground veal. It will turn into a ziti in a couple of weeks. Also consider an antipasto. Fresh mozzarella, some prosciutto di parmi, salami, maybe some roasted red peppers and drizzle with olive oil.
You are appreciated.
Any time. Glad to help.
So very old and tired.
… But enough about the average O line.
Oh Hippo ain’t gunna like this result, bulleee dat.
I don’t want these games.
I want different games.
Also Cincinnati is really in Kentucky, amirite?
At least Carey Price is back.
Trump is a clown.
Thinking about alcohol at 6:30am.
Does anybody go to church anymore?
Quinoa is a complete protein.
/The ADD is bad this morning/
They do around here. And Imma ’bout to run smack ass into them if my mother and my niece don’t get a frigging move on. Supposed to go today to put Xmas stuff on my dad’s grave, and I can already see they’re gonna make me late for footbaw today.
Grrrrrrrrrrrr
(imeanloveyoumissyoudadkthx)
http://www.pewforum.org/religious-landscape-study/attendance-at-religious-services/
good stuff. I’m proudly in the “fuck no!” category.
How can anyone be “don’t know?” Are they subject to blackouts or fugue states?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxkKlzInR4Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2l2O-JOXG_I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyaK3jo4Sl4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5arZGgyGSc
Time to play some tunes.
Paging Mr. Hippo. Your lesser footy club is about to play.
His bookie finally caught up with him?
Well, he didn’t respond to an email either. He sleepy?
Could be. He’s had a long coupla days on teh
crack….errrrr footbaw.Also he prides himself on “fuck email…I’ll get to it when I get to it”. Only he says it nicer than I do. 😀
sorry didn’t look at my phone until match ended!