It’s with a heavy and angry heart that I write this. As I noted on NSNO.co.uk, the creatures that live under rocks have won. It is not enough for them to have Brexit and Trump, no. They had to come for my Everton, too. I can not, and will not support a known corrupt, anti-footballing, backwards, self-promoting asshole in the manager’s chair. One who burns down the foundation of every club he manages – setting up the next manager to take the drop – who will surely ruin the only positives that exist in the form of Everton’s youth system and young offensive prospects. And if Everton is dead to me, so is Lesser Footy in general. Until it is time to pick up the pieces left in Fat Sam’s giant, fetid wake. I thank Balls, Litre, and perhaps others for filling in for me (in the coming weeks) on this beat.
Chelsea get the Barcodes this Saturday early (7:30, NBCSN), followed by a meh 10:00 window highlighted by Brighton & Hove v. Redshite (NBCSN). I would be reading even if I weren’t boycotting. The Moose Hornets take on Spurs over on CNBC and yeah, ok, that’s pretty interesting. Fuck the rest of it.
Arsenal and Man U are the big NBC 12:30 spotlight dance, giving us a chance to see just how resurrected the Gooners are. After all, the race for 2nd is all the tracing they is.
NBCSN’s Sunday no-funday doubleheader is Bournemouth/Soton (8:30) followed by City making some god-awful form of meat pie out of West Ham (11:00). YMMV.
On to the fun shit, conference championships galore!
Memphis at Central Florida, AAC (Noon, ABC)
Last week’s Directional Florida fixture was bananacakes, and one wonders if maybe the Knights will still be a bit hungover from that. In any event, this will be a scoring fest, and worthy of channel flipping at least.
TCU v. Oklahoma, Big 12-ish (12:30, Fox)
The first time these sides played, Boomer Sooner prevailed easily. But that was at home. However, the Okies are on even more of a roll now, arguably playing better than any non-Aubie side around. But Bloodeyes is never who you want to play with your playoff life on the line. That’s waaaaayyyy too many caveats, and I’m still happy to hold a ticket on OU -4.5.
Georgia v. Auburn, SEEEEECCCCC, PAWWWWWLLLL (4:00, CBS)
Everybody seems to have forgotten about UGA (myself included), which makes me a bit nervous. They were considered the best side in the land most of the year, but Auburn is just an awful matchup for them. The Dawgs don’t pass that well, or often. And Aubie is just physical as fuck, as we all saw in the Iron Bowl last week. As stated above, easily the hottest side in all the JV landscape.
Fresno State at Boise State, MWC (7:45, ESPN)
Fresh off the dry run last week, these two will go at it once again. One wonders why they didn’t stagger the time for a tweaker fixture?
Miami v. Clemson, ACC (8:00, ABC)
I always suspected Da U was gonna shit itself at some point, so glad they did so last week v. Pitt to get it out of the way. Perhaps Team Jeebus Camp will be overconfident and get its hat handed to them. I sure hope so.
Ohio State v. Wisconsin, B1G (8:00, Fox)
Finally, Bucky Badger will have its national “shit or get off the pot” moment. Win, and they’re in. tOSU is a bit up and down, and not sure they have enough to take them out, without their absolute A game (which they bring maybe once in four).
Auburn and Okie should be 1/2 seeds. No matter what happens, they ought not play each other in the semis.
Fatter fans in the crowd – Aubie or UGA? Observe and discuss
Yes.
I hear this great song every time they does a crowd shot:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dSUdzgmCik
not a good GAMBLOR weekend on the W/L record, but I had 2 bills on Boomer Sooner, so I’m slightly ahead overall.
Bama fans having to cheer for tOSU or perhaps Miami.
So, after that insanity, the EEESSS EEEEEE SSSEEE game will end 7-3.
BEST GAME, din’t ya hear, YANKEE??
DAT’S GUDE OL FATCHENED FOOBAWL PAWL
DEFENSE WINS CHAMPIUMSHIPS
any of these here fancified Yankee/Jooo teams played in the SEC West ah bet wud be 7-5 at best, whut say yewwww?
So long, BANANACAKES Bowl. You were fun.
and I am now talking to myself, but game ends in time for the Best Game in the Best Conference
The BANANACAKES Bowl has been brought to you by Gwen Stefani.
and #SleepyGary
Trent Green’d hisself, but BANANACAKES ALIVE!!
Spoiled Bonus BANANACAKES!!
ok, MEM. You know you needs to go for two, right??
well that’s shitty. Break the news your coach taking another job in-between OT periods?
Probably a timed announcement not knowing he was playing in the BANANACAKES bowl
yeah, I guess like 10 minutes before SECCCC, PAAAWWWWLLLL kickoff makes sense
PRAISE BE TO BLEERGH
Cheese-flavoured rice crackers? If they’re right in front of you and you don’t feel like moving, you can’t do much better than that.
And bailed out again
I have money on Memphis (moneyline) but I also like to see stupid punished, so am quite torn.
Not so stoked about BLEERGH making an appearance here in the BANANACAKES bowl.
it’s a 70s Long Island key party at this point
Did they serious get another delay penalty ALREADY??
So I promised my wife I would remount the TV as soon as this game is over. Guess I’ll be doing it tomorrow then.
perhaps Tuesday afternoon?
Is that a euphemism?
Dude, you don’t even wanna know at this point
I want to see a 16-team playoff because it would be fun to see Boomer Sooner toy with either of these doofus sides.
Could the BANANACAKES Bowl end any way other than in overtime?
#SleepyGary with the coin toss
BANANACAKES!!!
Delay of game penalty should be loss of down.
PUNT and go to overtime, dumbasses
Oops!
that was some dumb motherfucking shit.
And they get bailed out again!
offside?? PLEASE
right where he missed before
Please try FOAR touched down, Memphis.
Hey, maybe the Donks can draft another Memphis QB in the first round next spring!
/gets in car, drives to murder WCS
I speak too soon
chuh chuh, Memphis gon’ win this fucker
Nice toss in Bananacakes Bowl. 48-up
Holy shit, you see that Bloodeyes DPI? They has flat given up.
So hungry. Like a ….. coyote?
That’s pretty catchy. Maybe use that in a song?
I’m very curious as to what “Onions?” are.
yeah, I will now officially say it. Gimme Boomer Sooner v. the Field, and I will take it.
UCF punter finally gets on the field with 6 minutes left in the game…
“It’s nice to feel included!”
/shanks punt
Happy Birthday Aaron Rodgers!! He returned to practice today.
/probably also had an omelette in bed if u noe what I mean
//he’s wealthy and can afford to treat hisself
Bloodeyes taking it in the eye.
“Lucky Bastards!”
-BloodBreasts
Wrong hand, dude.
-every winning poker player ever
UCF really wants Memphis to get back into this.
Oklahoma has opposite feels re Bloodeyes, it would seem.
“Lots of anal beads?”
-Richards
You know, I don’t like “The Mick” but I do like how it better acknowledges that she is the most beautiful lady in the world.
She’s more bird than woman if you stick to the script.
Real life Mac is just lucky there is one beautiful woman who said “I like a guy with a sense of humour” and meant it.
Holy Shitballs! What a throw by the UCF QB!
eh, he’s still fookin’ named McKenzie.
Does…does that ucf player only have one hand?
/too early foar hallucinations
//i hope
#DefLeppardDrummer
Well he’s a db, so holding shouldn’t be a problem…and any catch he makes is an automatic highlight. Looks like it was cut by guillotine. Flat, not nubby. Weird.
I got really good odds on UL-Lafayette moneyline @ Happy Appy, that alone would make a nice GAMBLOR Day.
Speaking of muumuus…bielema is ded ded deadski yes? No moar head coachy? Assistant or coordinator, but that’s gotta be it.
I suspect he will go home, spend MOAR time with his diahbeetus.
You can’t put a price on time spent with a horribly swollen foot.
I membah when Steve Levy was literally half the man he is.
Just call me Lord God Of The Second Page, if you don’t mind.
/where did everybody go?
As someone mentioned earlier-Memphis/UCF is indeed bananacakes.
#SleepyGary tickling your balls
Is Indiana getting blown out? Yes? Good.
Fun Fact: The first name of Baker Mayfield’s backup is Candlestickmaker.
“NO FLAGS!”
/except for that one flag