Your “Things Be Tightening Up!” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Remember back in August when you thought Football was never gonna get here? Well it did, in case you don’t mamember. It’s now week 14. FOURTEEN! And on top of that, it’s almost Xmas! Is your brain matter fried yet? Time passes like Dreamboat on meth, ppl forget that. Speaking of, are you giving your loved ones Ugg’s this year or just thinking about it? This intro seems to be going off the rails. Where do those rails lead? TO THE GAME!

New Orleans/Atlanta: Do the Falcons need this one badly to stay in the wildcard hunt? My Ouija board has responded with, “How the hell would I know? I’m the spirit of Harry Houdini, for Christ sake!”. (he’s a bit cranky sometimes but he did tell me that Kenneth Lay was a complete fraud so I got out of Enron with plenty of time to spare) Anyway… yes, the Falcons need this one very badly. Their biggest problem is that the run D is a middle-of-the-pack 18th. That would be a bit of bad news given that the duo of Bitchin’ Kamara (my Kamara Chameleon didn’t quite take but I still have TruthBiscuit, damnit!) and Mark “No Nickname” Ingram are on pace to thrust past 3,000 combined yards rushing and receiving. The last rb combo to do that? I don’t know, why don’t you look it up-I’m busy writing a thingy at the moment. Perhaps this looks like a Saints walk but t’udder rb guys-Coleman and Freeman-are up against a Saints run D that gives up an average of 4.6 ypc. Yowch!

There’s plenty o’other things going on today, including Mr. Franken calling it a day, another school shooting, some college ball, some hockey and some other things I may have missed. Wag that jaw down below!

 

 

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Shogun Marcus

Dear Matt (sorry Matty NAWT ICE),
All the ass, you suckle it. It seems to soothe you. My first FF experience, and these last two weeks you do what can only be politely described as inhaling rectal fumes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Lots of folks underachieving last night, fo’ sho’.

Wakezilla

I just finished watching the 91 Atlanta Falcons documentary. It was really good. If you haven’t already, check it out

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

In the orange cat’s defense, Rf3 was definitely an interesting move. I would have recommended Rxh8 myself, start clearing out the back rank… OW MY FACE!

Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people.

Unsurprised

HISSSSS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

“These ‘business expense’ from Crazy Horse II aren’t deductible.”

Col. Duke LaCross

Denmark vs. Czech Republic in women’s curling. Mighty nice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Mr. Ayo

Oh the humanity!

Unsurprised

Just had pizza, three beers, and a cider. I’m goooooooood.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

YA!

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Beerguyrob

Hi, YA!

Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Flyers gonna win their third straight. Sports temporarily good again.

Beerguyrob

Now, see, I had the opposite reaction, plus a few curse words.

Unsurprised

I love this gif.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I really regret not getting black out drunk for this game

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just this one?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Listen bee stings, life’s too short to be mean.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh yeah??? Well, life stinks and so does your bergina

Unsurprised

Hello

Gratliff

Wow. Sean Payton has lost his fucking mind.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Yes, yes he did.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

well shit, that would have been neat

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Oh thank fuck. Some room to breathe.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

An “Amos ‘n’ Andy” tan ,, no ofence

King Hippo

oopsie doodle, Breesus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

god damn copy paste inability.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, so Ginn’s broken now.

NEXT!!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh wow. Now this is an escort I can get behind.
I bet she’d smoke weed with me. And if not, then maybe punishment.

Let’s not rule anything out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

it’s best not to paint yourself into a corner.

Col. Duke LaCross

Ginn ded.

Gratliff

Stupid stupid stupid fuck stupid Atlanta

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Good for Sean Payton.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

If Brees can hit Ginn for a score here, I won’t say anything bad about the NFL for a week

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He says he doesn’t drink.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh; GINN.

King Hippo

Just picked up the Colts D in DFO ball for next week (playoffs). I will likely have GLORIOUS ACTION on the Humps, too.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t fuck up my waiver action.

Oh right, you can’t because you’re still ahead of me. Ha…suck it.

King Hippo

already got A.A. Ron, no worries. I’m good now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah I saw. Very nice stash, btw.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HOT WET WAIVER ACTION! EVER HOLE PLUGGED!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

And wow Cris, look at that would ya? Kamara comes out of the locker room just in time to take over a game winning scoring drive during which he either rushed or received on every play. The Saints win, tWBS’ money is safe, and he still has a shot at that first round bye next week.

Amazing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

He even kicked the PAT, btw.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Sounds like a certain “escort” I sort of know.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Well, she got her wish…

theeWeeBabySeamus

True dat.
Too bad too. She was cute but way too uptight for an escort. Weed would have done her some good. And also, my penis.

ballsofsteelandfury

Could your penis grow her some boobs?

theeWeeBabySeamus

She didn’t need moar boob. Sometimes smaller fits the frame just fine.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Uptight? I thought you didn’t put it in her ass.

Gratliff

Saints win. Got it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Or at least moved to a different parish when the accusations stack up.

Gratliff

Is Darren Sharper’s kid in the league now?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was mixing a parish and catholic joke….. it sounded funnier in my head.

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Gratliff

I got it, but then I played on the hilarious fact that the Saints also have a history of rape

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, I know you did; it was just when I reread it, ‘it was less funny in print…. per usual.

Yours was better.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Forgot it was Thursday. Pleasantly surprised to see that Matty Ice didn’t complete the cycle from disappointed Eagles fan to disappointing Eagles fans tonight.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, those really ARE some big shiny numbers. Who said that earlier?
Yes, I’m too lazy to scroll back.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

That reminds me, I need to run to the liquor store this weekend

theeWeeBabySeamus

UHaul already reserved?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

“Criticizing the front office? How would I make the front office look bad? I coach a football team,” he said. “That right there is bad enough. 1-27 is bad enough. I don’t have to say anything. Just look at our football team. I’m a part of that as I said earlier.”

Said by a man that actually gets paid to be an NFL coach.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Heineken? Fuck that foreign shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon! That’s what you’ll drink tonight!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Robin crotch.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, I can’t watch this right now

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Olivia Munn has finally perfected her time machine?

Spur

Bob Barker got some of that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Barker Finger.