Remember back in August when you thought Football was never gonna get here? Well it did, in case you don’t mamember. It’s now week 14. FOURTEEN! And on top of that, it’s almost Xmas! Is your brain matter fried yet? Time passes like Dreamboat on meth, ppl forget that. Speaking of, are you giving your loved ones Ugg’s this year or just thinking about it? This intro seems to be going off the rails. Where do those rails lead? TO THE GAME!
New Orleans/Atlanta: Do the Falcons need this one badly to stay in the wildcard hunt? My Ouija board has responded with, “How the hell would I know? I’m the spirit of Harry Houdini, for Christ sake!”. (he’s a bit cranky sometimes but he did tell me that Kenneth Lay was a complete fraud so I got out of Enron with plenty of time to spare) Anyway… yes, the Falcons need this one very badly. Their biggest problem is that the run D is a middle-of-the-pack 18th. That would be a bit of bad news given that the duo of Bitchin’ Kamara (my Kamara Chameleon didn’t quite take but I still have TruthBiscuit, damnit!) and Mark “No Nickname” Ingram are on pace to thrust past 3,000 combined yards rushing and receiving. The last rb combo to do that? I don’t know, why don’t you look it up-I’m busy writing a thingy at the moment. Perhaps this looks like a Saints walk but t’udder rb guys-Coleman and Freeman-are up against a Saints run D that gives up an average of 4.6 ypc. Yowch!
There’s plenty o’other things going on today, including Mr. Franken calling it a day, another school shooting, some college ball, some hockey and some other things I may have missed. Wag that jaw down below!
Dear Matt (sorry Matty NAWT ICE),
All the ass, you suckle it. It seems to soothe you. My first FF experience, and these last two weeks you do what can only be politely described as inhaling rectal fumes.
Lots of folks underachieving last night, fo’ sho’.
I just finished watching the 91 Atlanta Falcons documentary. It was really good. If you haven’t already, check it out
In the orange cat’s defense, Rf3 was definitely an interesting move. I would have recommended Rxh8 myself, start clearing out the back rank… OW MY FACE!
Evening lizard people.
HISSSSS
“These ‘business expense’ from Crazy Horse II aren’t deductible.”
Denmark vs. Czech Republic in women’s curling. Mighty nice.
If you insist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45bUOIK2cAo
https://gfycat.com/SlightBoringDingo
Oh the humanity!
Just had pizza, three beers, and a cider. I’m goooooooood.
YA!
Hi, YA!
Oh, right. Full-sized: https://gfycat.com/CleverSilkyDesertpupfish
Flyers gonna win their third straight. Sports temporarily good again.
Now, see, I had the opposite reaction, plus a few curse words.
I love this gif.
I really regret not getting black out drunk for this game
Just this one?
Listen bee stings, life’s too short to be mean.
Oh yeah??? Well, life stinks and so does your bergina
Hello
Wow. Sean Payton has lost his fucking mind.
Yes, yes he did.
well shit, that would have been neat
Oh thank fuck. Some room to breathe.
An “Amos ‘n’ Andy” tan ,, no ofence
oopsie doodle, Breesus
god damn copy paste inability.
OK, so Ginn’s broken now.
NEXT!!!!!!!
Oh wow. Now this is an escort I can get behind.
I bet she’d smoke weed with me. And if not, then maybe punishment.
Let’s not rule anything out.
it’s best not to paint yourself into a corner.
Ginn ded.
Stupid stupid stupid fuck stupid Atlanta
Good for Sean Payton.
If Brees can hit Ginn for a score here, I won’t say anything bad about the NFL for a week
He says he doesn’t drink.
Oh; GINN.
Just picked up the Colts D in DFO ball for next week (playoffs). I will likely have GLORIOUS ACTION on the Humps, too.
Don’t fuck up my waiver action.
Oh right, you can’t because you’re still ahead of me. Ha…suck it.
already got A.A. Ron, no worries. I’m good now.
Yeah I saw. Very nice stash, btw.
HOT WET WAIVER ACTION! EVER HOLE PLUGGED!
And wow Cris, look at that would ya? Kamara comes out of the locker room just in time to take over a game winning scoring drive during which he either rushed or received on every play. The Saints win, tWBS’ money is safe, and he still has a shot at that first round bye next week.
Amazing.
He even kicked the PAT, btw.
Sounds like a certain “escort” I sort of know.
Well, she got her wish…
True dat.
Too bad too. She was cute but way too uptight for an escort. Weed would have done her some good. And also, my penis.
Could your penis grow her some boobs?
She didn’t need moar boob. Sometimes smaller fits the frame just fine.
Uptight? I thought you didn’t put it in her ass.
Saints win. Got it.
Or at least moved to a different parish when the accusations stack up.
Is Darren Sharper’s kid in the league now?
I was mixing a parish and catholic joke….. it sounded funnier in my head.
I got it, but then I played on the hilarious fact that the Saints also have a history of rape
Yeah, I know you did; it was just when I reread it, ‘it was less funny in print…. per usual.
Yours was better.
Forgot it was Thursday. Pleasantly surprised to see that Matty Ice didn’t complete the cycle from disappointed Eagles fan to disappointing Eagles fans tonight.
Wow, those really ARE some big shiny numbers. Who said that earlier?
Yes, I’m too lazy to scroll back.
That reminds me, I need to run to the liquor store this weekend
UHaul already reserved?
Dear Julio Jones:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIMrFpnfvyI
“Criticizing the front office? How would I make the front office look bad? I coach a football team,” he said. “That right there is bad enough. 1-27 is bad enough. I don’t have to say anything. Just look at our football team. I’m a part of that as I said earlier.”
Said by a man that actually gets paid to be an NFL coach.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IS8-viUNP7k&ab_channel=JonRagnarsson
Heineken? Fuck that foreign shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon! That’s what you’ll drink tonight!
Robin crotch.
Yeah, I can’t watch this right now
Olivia Munn has finally perfected her time machine?
Bob Barker got some of that.
Barker Finger.