Any errors in coverage are simply a result of Roger Goodell seeking to ruin my preparation in favour of the Patriots.
Game Previews:
Pittsburgh at Houston – 4:30PM | NBC / NFLN / TSN
The Steelers will have spent the weekend hoping the Bills can pull off some kind of miracle and beat the Patriots in Foxboro, because they know the Jags will likely wreck the 49ers. Pittsburgh really needs this to avoid having to play on Wild Card Weekend, so they will have an air of desperation about them when they take the field. Luckily, THE BEN still has Le’Veon Bell, Martavis Bryant and JuJu Smith-Schuster.
The Texans are playing for pride. I have no idea who their starting quarterback will be, and who he has to throw to. All I know is that Jadeveon Clowney is still really good, and he’ll be looking to pound #7 into the ground, in the vainglorious belief the Texans might rebuild around him and not the oft-broken JJ Watt.
Still, having to road trip to Houston at Christmas?
Oakland at Philadelphia – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
As with the Steelers, so too with the Raiders.
I covered all of this last week, so no point rehashing the obvious. The Raiders season is over. Sure, there’s an outside chance of them making the playoffs, but I have a better chance of a threeway with Scarlett Johansson & Jennifer Lawrence.
I would disappoint them in ways they never imagined.
I don’t think Jack Del Rio is at risk of losing his job, but some of the Raiders starters are playing for theirs. So expect them to take plenty of chances early, and if the game gets out of hand expect to see all the backups.
For the Eagles, the job is quite simple: PROTECT NICK FOLES! It sounds strange to be concerned about him this late into 2017, but it’s been a strange season, so here we are. Their backup, unless they sign someone over the weekend, is a kid named Nick Sudfeld, who played four years at Indiana & was drafted by the [Redacteds] in 2016; the Eagles got him on waivers in September 2017.
The Eagles also need this game to maintain distance and, if the weekend fell the right way, clinch the #1 seed in the NFC. Expect them to come out strong, and their plan is to beat the Raiders into submission by halftime so they can rest some starters in the second half. Now I wish they still had Mark Sanchez.
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL:
- Steelers at Texans – 4:20PM | NBC / NFLN / TSN
- Raiders at Eagles – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- NBA:
- Cavs at Warriors – 3:00PM | ABC / Sportsnet
- Wizards at Celtics – 5:30PM | ABC / TSN2
- Rockets at Thunder – 8:00PM | ABC / Sportsnet
- Timberwolves at Lakers – 10:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet
- Beisbol:
- Springfield of Dreams: The Legend of Homer Simpson – 10:00PM | FS1
- Lucha:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
Enjoy your day, and remember – Tryptophan is your friend. TURKEY NAPS MEAN NO HUMAN INTERACTION!
/emerges from cloud of pot smoke
A DOG THAT BRINGS YOU GIFTS ON CHRISTMAS NAMED SANTA PAWS
DOES SANTA PAWS LIKE HILLING FOLES?
No.
I mean.
Man, do you have any idea how crazy you sound?
Every god damned day
Ok, signal on the tv just went out, that’s a sign I should go sleepies. I leave you with a final santa :
Nite Dok.
Oakland wants it MOAR
I blame you for Greg the leg getting hurt, North Korea and the Eagles losing.
I warn everyone up front that I am the fucking worst
So you would be ‘evil’ our name, and I am the good one? I will take it.
Seems legit at the moment.
Did someone punch JJ Watt in the face? His right eye looks off, as does his nose
Selfie injury?
Only if done in front of a log cabin In the woods.
Speaking of, why hasn’t he gotten a horrific ax wound yet?
Cuz we’re not that lucky and not allowed to have nice things
Windchill of -10. FML I can feel it coming through the walls.
That foam window tape is pretty good, but since that’s not something you can do tonight, just bundle up and be happy you don’t have to go outside
I spent a winter in northern Michigan working outside starting at 5 am. I expected to get used to it. Nope. Sucked the whole time, sucked before, still sucks now.
I believe it. I will tell stories to uninterested young people about how awful waiting for the bus in weather that flash freezes exposed skin was for all my days.
as I get older, the humidity here just sucks more and more. The whole “you get used to it” is a BIG LIE
Just wandering around the house alternately screaming “FILL MY FOLES” and “SCORIGAMI” as my confused, frightened family looks on.
I’m sure the Stockholm syndrome will kick in soon and they will offer you pie
this will help greatly if you are trying to go recluse
All right, Christmas dinner has coursed through my intestines faster than Cameron Heyward through the Texans line. I’m gonna take a TJ Yates and then sleep.
Rob’s fault, fwiw….
Ever see her perform live? Her body is even more impressive. Same with Bayley, who’s torso in person is more impressive
That sounded stalker-y and serial killer-like. Very nice!
Also, true.
True story: I tied IWDB in a game in our FF league last year.
Does that mean I get to wrestle with HER in my underwear?
Sorry, I had to.
Probably IWDB’s reaction to my inquiry.
I honestly can’t believe she hasn’t cussed me out yet.
She’s a good sport, thank god.
Suzy!!!!
I could care less that the Jets are struggling… can I get a kiss under the Duracell mis-l-toeeee?
it me, the extremely missing Carson Wentz guy
FOOTBAW!!!
Being sick at Christmas sucks. Had soda crackers and half a bowl of chicken noodle soup for dinner. And that’s the most I’ve had for 2 days.
I appreciate this game actually being played like a professional footballing contest
Red Pandas are awesome.
they really, really are
And yet giant pandas are the worst mammals ever.
*looks exasperated while gesturing at all the humans*
what kind of panda are you?
/shakes head at foolish human
SLOTHS ARE THE BEST
.
http://roflzoo.com/pics/042010/happy-smiling-sloth.jpg
oh shit. Alshon Jeffrey has 0 sooo far, nada, nothing. weird.
They are having Christmas costumes themed matches on Raw.
Let me know when Alexa comes out as a sexy elf. Or sexy anything.
The Ham Sammiching has begun!
Why couldn’t this have been the earlier game? I actually want to watch the second half of this one, but it’s super late and I should get some sleep
Super late? It’s not even super late on the right coast yet.
We really have lost you.
It’s 7pm and I’ve been sleeping all day. It may as well be 4am after a 5-day stretch of insomnia.
I’m in Aruba, it’s atlantic time zone
Can’t keep up with you without a freaking itinerary…sheeesh.
There’s beaches there, why you wasting time with us idiots?
I spent all this morning snorkling, now it is nighttime and solo night swimming is…not the saftest, so football watching
112.83 to 112.98 currently.
My dream of underwear wrestling might come to fruition after all.
most obvs holding EVAR
Howdy, folks. Excellent Xmas here in the Maestro household. Tons of good food, an afternoon skate, and some quality gift-giving, but I gotta pack in kinda early tonight because Lady Maestro and I are embarking on a 14-hour drive to see her family (and mine) out in Nova Scotia in the morning. Hope you and yours had a great day as well.
Just play Gordon Lightfoot over Eyes Wide Shut and save the 14 hours.
So this time it’s nawt nawt a catch?
you got it! soo weird
Who knows anymore
Hi, I have returned. Family already wants to kill me because mechanical keyboard is loud. Trackball mouse is fun.
Raiders-Iggles on Monday night? I’ll take the over on Santas with their dicks hanging out.
Yeah, he wasn’t touched before the ball came out
ohhhhhhh, shit
The Kevin Spacey defense
Holy shit.
I really miss Buddy when he’s not here.
CHALLENGE!!
He had such a good look at it, the fuck did he think he saw?
Sooooo is it a fumble?
Batteries not included.
Ha HA!!!
Nice.
here we have Philly Santa showing off the gifts he stole from the saddest families in the city, as is tradition.
Is Alshon Jeffery alive?
Not according to my FF lineup
Yay! The family fighting has started.
/goes to sunroom for another beer
see, betcha that quick kick rolls ded inside the 10, at worst
Why are NC booze stores closed tomorrow?
Sunday and Holiday Monday not enough?
(says the guy who really should stay away from teh booze store)
J-E-S-U-S
Missing California even moar now.
Hellworld is real.
We had a pizza party thing at work friday and I noticed that Intern was eating pizza with a fork. I was right to openly deride him for this in front of his peers and superiors, right?
HR should have written you up had you not
Absolutely! It’s better he learns now before it ruins his life for good
You didn’t just fire him outright?
Alas, I don’t have that authority. He also voted for Trump last year because it was funny and he wasn’t going to win anyway, in a state Trump narrowly won. That may have come up 5 or 6 times. He kept looking for someone to defend him, but then they joined in. Social controls work.
The system works! Not the political system tho
.
fuck yo’ opposable thumbs
Change your water filter.
/has same fridge
I hope that stands just cause it’s a beast catch, booo holding
Holding!!!! LOL
Checking in on the Beastie/Hippo semifinal to get crushed next week…
Still a dead heat.
Alshon Jeffrey decided to take a nap.
a quick kick would be awesome here
/yes, I’m high
#metoo
aside from that one 4th and 2 play call, JDR has a really good gameplan tonight
I feel like the Eagles getting fucking massacred on slants last week may come up in some of these games
Tactically, I really want to see that RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! re-match sometime in the playoffs. Will be great teevee.
In fairness, this is the Philadelphia Santa :
I’ve had this happen in real life.
I was semi-homicidal.
Scrape your cars, ppl.
Iggles social media understands its audience.
THESE DURACELLS, I CALL THEM BATTERIES BECAUSE WARREN SAPP HIT ME WITH A SOCK FULL OF THEM.
He was just giving you the batteries for his gift.
wait what? did santa really get snowballs thrown at him by the fans? the Philly fans?
I warned ya about this fixture, Litre!
wrong place
I have no worries that it will fit in tight Foles.
Pats would have gotten a flag there
I mean, he did LOOK AT HIM
That’s 8 years ago FFS.
What good is that gonna do us?
There’s a website. I’m sure there’s a new event coming soon.
There was a fisting workshop at Burning Man