‘Twas the night before Moosemas, and in a corner of Hell

A battle was raging, and it wasn’t going well

Beelzebub was there, he was raging that day

As he sent his Beelzebros into the fray

Against Moose they raged, growling and grizzled

While from the skies the hellfire drizzled

Weaselo was there too, and WCS

And the brain of Otto, and some guy named Seamus

They fought for their lives, these DFO guys

As a horde of winged demons descended from the skies

“We’re fooked now,” little Seamus intoned

Then he hit the bong again, to get truly stoned

To the Helltank WCS ran, his voice full of ire

“Let’s see these guys take a blast of Hellfire!”

He climbed through the hatch with moderate haste

And fired the guns, turning demons to paste

“No fair! That’s our tank,” Beelzebub did rage

As he freed the monster Cerberus from its unholy cage

The dog growled in unison from his heads (he had three)

Then lifted his gigantic leg, letting loose fiery pee

Weaselo dodged the flames, but didn’t attack

Instead he grabbed the hound’s leg and climbed to his back

He said “Who’s a good boy” and scratched ears (all six)

While Moose did assault Beelzebros with punches to their dicks

“This sucks!” cried Beelzebub, and united his side

Their forces swept forward in a raucous, frenzied tide

But then came a sound, a thunderous rattle

And everyone looked up from the terrible battle

It was the DFO arriving, riding bikes that did shine

They’d cleaned them up nicely, after taking them from the Swine

The demons halted their charge, their mouths were agape

For riding the lead motorcycle was a very large ape!

Doktor Zymm was there, and Man in Plaid #2

But he lacked a body and was just a head, it’s true

Marc brought up the rear, for he wasn’t a fighter

He pulled out a fatty and searched for his lighter

Covalent Blonde punched them, and ax kicks she threw

The demons were in a disarray, they didn’t know what to do!

Sharkbait flexed his pincers and pinched anything near

Beelzebros covered their bits, and retreated in fear

A demon charged Zymm, but she picked up her head

He had laser eyes, and zapped the demon dead

Horatio jumped, he leaped and did a flip

As arms from torsos mighty Moosemas Gorilla did rip

“They’re in full retreat,” said Balls, watching them run

And he winked and he smiled as he shot a finger gun

But Beelzebub wasn’t finished and did rush at Moose

For his efforts he got pummeled, with a front fang knocked loose

“You’re done,” said Moose, as he picked up his foe

Then swung him around, the better to throw

The devil did land in a lake that really stank

No swimmer was he, and like a heavy stone he sank

The party then started, and Moose had his say

“It’s great to see you guys, especially today!”

Marc passed the fatty, and sat back with a sigh

“Merry Moosemas to all, man…now let’s get really high!”