Your “Whoops – I Forgot” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Either Shady is lying or he’s Wolverine: He says his ankle isn’t as bad as first thought.
    • He does admit it’s difficult to cut.
      • There is a former Bills RB familiar with cutting difficulty he could ask for advice.
  • Proving the wheels on the bus do go round & round, the Ravens might hire Chuck Pagano to be their defensive coordinator.
  • DeMarco Murray is officially out for the Titans versus the Chiefs.
    • His partial MCL tear is too much to play through.
  • Rumours are already starting that Jon Gruden doesn’t want Derek Carr as his QB in Oakland.
    • Especially after shit-talking him to his face during a QB Camp interview.


The NFL “Playoff Challenge” is here!

I’ve been invited to participate.

NFL PLAYOFFS ARE HERE, JOIN IN ON THE ACTION!

And just look at the prizes:

 

In case you missed it,

a GRAND PRIZE of…1 Tom Brady signed helmet!

Geez Rog, I thought you wanted me to watch the games.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Hockey:
    • NHL:
      • Hurricanes at Penguins – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • World Juniors:
      • Canada vs. Czech Republic – 8:00PM | TSN / NHLN
  • Basketball:
    • NBA:
      • Warriors at Rockets – 8:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
      • Thunder at Clippers – 10:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
    • NCAA:
      • Houston at Wichita State – 7:00PM | ESPN
      • Maryland at Michigan State – 8:00PM | FS1
      • Arizona at Utah – 9:00PM | ESPN
      • Cincinnati at Temple – 9:00PM | ESPN2
      • UCLA at Stanford – 10:00PM | FS1

Seamus has you tomorrow for teh sexy, and Scotchy’s got your hot playoff action this weekend. SEE YOU MONDAY!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Spur

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Hurry up Jew” was what it was called when Sage Rosenfels went no-huddle

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

No one should give this motherfucker Bannon a penny, so I’m going to promote a certain site just this one time.

h

ttp://libgen.io/

I think the book goes on sale tomorrow? Or Tuesday. Whenever. Use that.

rockingdog

will the book be here?

Unsurprised

It should be.

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Why not?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Because he understands jokes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m surprised he didn’t just punch him in the nuts.
Little asshole piece o’ shit fuck.

rockingdog

Can/drink check. what you guys got?

im sippin a Narragansett. its ok.

Viva La Tabula Raza

3 parts Bacardi Limon, 1 part Cherry Zero. Couple of ice cubes

Unsurprised

Lagunitas Brown Shugga

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Schlitz and coke

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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rockingdog

this warriors rockets game is getting good!

herodotus450

Is that because it’s over?
/I’ll be here all week
//Don’t tip your waitresses tipping is just a way for the bourgeoisie keep the rest of us down

Spur

yeah, i wish KD and Harden were playing. Interesting to see who would get the final choke.

Spur

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rockingdog

nut kick hi ya!

Romonobyl

This is real. This ACTUALLY exists. This is NOT a spoof.
You have been warned…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9qv8RSreIM

Senor Weaselo

That tie’s not long enough.

litre_cola

So kind of like Kim Jong Un who has his pic in every house, this is a way Cheeto can put himself in his supporters homes.

herodotus450

There’s nothing in the Flag Code about using the flag as clothing if it’s attached to a stuffed bear

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hands (paws?) too big.

Spur

*Trophy wife bear shipped separately. Subject to import fees.

rockingdog

check out the facebook page too!
hahahaha…….cuddle with greatness!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ll buy onecomment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jeebus. Not even two hours in, and tonight and I’ve already missed too much on which to catch up (grammar, muthafuckas).

I need to go watch a movie anyway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry….Not even three hours in.
I should buy a new battery for my watch.

rockingdog

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Why doesn’t trevor ariza simply punch Curry in his stupid face? Do it man, it feels good and will solve all your problems.

Doktor Zymm

Also, makes the modern NBA less boring! In one of the few sports without CTE concerns I say PILE ON THE VIOLENCE

Doktor Zymm

Sometimes stray cats fight/fuck in my apartment’s parking lot. Sometimes it’s teenagers. Is it bad that I can’t tell the difference by sound alone?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We need to Spay and Neuter them all, just to be safe.

Doktor Zymm

I plan on retiring in 14 years, then living another 30 – 40 years, so unfortunately it’s the offspring of today’s teenage fuckfests that will be funding whatever Social Security I manage to claim during that time

Senor Weaselo

Musical guest, Teenage Fuckfest!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Playing their big hits.

Spur
Spur

Still can’t believe we don’t have male birth control pill yet. Once available, ever father will get there boys on the pill.

Doktor Zymm

And all those misogynistic assholes who think women are getting pregnant to trap them into marriage can shut the fuck up once and for all

Spur

yep and those pills will be written into a health bill. “Men get free pills”.

Doktor Zymm

If that’s the language they use, I will totally start cross-dressing so I can hit up the buffet of whatever free pills I want, though by that time it’ll probably be heart medication or something equally boring

herodotus450

“What do you mean, people don’t want to have kids?”
-T. Malthus

rockingdog

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litre_cola

Not a whole lot on this evening. I already miss bowl season.

Spur

Saban just wants to recruit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Dammit Judy!

herodotus450

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

Dogs are so fucking stupid. And I love them so.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have holes in my yard fence just for my pooch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Yay happy fun time!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s all fun and games until someone gets a sharp claw in in the anus.

Doktor Zymm

I wonder how many times someone has said that particular phrase?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am incapable of having an original thought, so at least once before. Although; throughout history there has been a lot of cats and a lot of anuses so I would imagine that the two have been in contact numerous times.

Doktor Zymm

Seems legit

ballsofsteelandfury

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SonOfSpam

/cums

– Rex Ryan

ballsofsteelandfury

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Oh hey! I felt my first official earthquake last night! It woke me up, I thought “Oh, I bet this is an earthquake” then it stopped and I went back to sleep. Looked it up in the morning, 4.4 magnitude epicenter north of me in Berkeley.

Doktor Zymm

Between that and all the gloating I get to do about the warm weather here while the rest of the country freezes I feel like a real Californian now!

ballsofsteelandfury

Pop Quiz: What’s the nearest freeway to your place?

Doktor Zymm

880

SonOfSpam

WRONG!!!!

It’s “The 880” or GTFO of Commiefornia.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, I haven’t picked up the excessive use of articles to refer to roads yet. I suspect this is one of the things I will eternally think is stupid and resist saying, like ‘pop’ instead of ‘soda’

ballsofsteelandfury

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Doktor Zymm

At least I’m back in a sane place as far as THAT is concerned. Though I did occasionally compromise by saying “SODEE POP”

Spur

It’s called a Coke.

Brick Meathook

It’s a soft drink

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pop.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Soda [Minnesota accent please]

ballsofsteelandfury

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Brick Meathook

Draw a horizontal line across a map of California, dividing the state’s population in half: 50% of Californians live north of the line, and 50% live south of the line. Where do you draw that line?

ANSWER: At approximately Wilshire Blvd in Los Angeles. A horizontal line here, extending from the ocean to the Arizona border, divides the population equally.

Doktor Zymm

LA is the second largest population center in the country, so that makes sense actually. My statistical training is super useful for not being surprised about distribution stuff that surprises gen pop 🙂

Spur

all you East Coasters will get to read the Fire & Fury book tomorrow. The publisher is a genius.

rockingdog
rockingdog

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

That flick looks like its going to be so fucking stupid.

I really wish Hollywood would just stop making movies…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah; I like the gif too.

Spur

Folks.
That weather back East looks nasty. Hope the East Coast DFOers stocked up on liquor and weed.

Senor Weaselo

Saturday will be cold as all fuck.

herodotus450

“Weed eh?”
-J. Sessions

LemonJello

Fortunately the secret lizard-people designed weather machine (Washington Monument) pushed the worst of it north of us. But, I am making a booze, beef jerky and toilet paper run tomorrow night.

Game Time Decision

Just got in. Car said -22 C. And windy. F*** it’s cold out

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Buddy went to Pittsburgh to see family for New Year’s.

Saw the Stillers-Browns and froze my balls off (hey, don’t wear moccasins when it’s slushy and shitty). I secured a spot at the men’s room at halftime because the restrooms were heated. We left after the third quarter and went to the casino across the block. I was at a blackjack table when the Browns were making their last drive, and that drop had me frozen looking at the TV. Lost $40, meh.

Brother and friends went out for New Year’s Eve; I stayed home and watched Jackie Brown. They came home at 1 am and knocked over blinds for their back door.

Doktor Zymm

You have moccasins for your balls?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Yes, they’re regular moccasins.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NSF anything.

h

ttps://imagecdn.clips4sale.com/accounts131/3969/clip_images/moccasins.gif

herodotus450

If you’ve got a better way to build up callouses I’d like to hear it

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You can’t hear it over the screaming.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Heated by evaporating urine.

herodotus450

Don’t let the blinds see this post… Oh wait, nothing to worry about.

rockingdog

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Jaguars fans gonna drink the pool water!

litre_cola

Shady stretched today but did not practice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OJ sharpened today but did not cut…….. allegedly.

rockingdog

go warriors!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Fun story, in the book they just gang raped that girl instead of making friends with her and bringing her back to Coney Island

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is a great story. JFC. Glad I skipped the book.

Spur

FUCK the Warriors
FUCK the Rockets
FUCK Draymond
FUCK THAT PUNK Durant,
FUCK THAT PUNK CP3

FUCK BOTH TEAMS

SonOfSpam

Yes, but I really enjoyed Chappelle’s joke about Draymond Green.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nicely formatted HATE.

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Doktor Zymm

Holy shit switching over to a new state for driver’s license and vehicle registration is over involved and annoying. I totally get why gun owners want to avoid all this administrative crap. All of this paying taxes so the state can hire people to make me fill out endless forms and give them even more money is making me sympathetic to libertarians….the less batshit crazy ones at least

Spur

Couldn’t pass the written past?

Doktor Zymm

Haven’t taken the written test yet, just getting all the millions of documents together to prove I exist and live here and own a car

Spur

i lived in Cali for 2 years. i found it easier to get a Passport and CW Permit then a CA drivers license.

Doktor Zymm

If I hadn’t already used the “I don’t live here” excuse to get out of jury duty, I would just keep my MD license

ballsofsteelandfury

They’ll let anyone onto the Riverdale lot…

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Doktor Zymm

I did take the sample written tests online. Not bad, just all the normal stuff about not killing pedestrians and signalling turns. I would appreciate it if they made more of an effort to enforce that ‘not killing pedestrians’ part. Is there any part of the country where people don’t drive like crap?

litre_cola

Now Derek Carr is sad.

litre_cola
scotchnaut

Ahhh. That’s much better! Anyone have a story to tell?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fYL_qiDYf0

scotchnaut

Okay, I’ll go first-

I swam across the Ottawa River high as hell on acid. Seriously, can’t believe how lucky you guys are to be reading what I just typed.*

*this is code for “I almost died.”

Senor Weaselo

Do they have to be “I almost died” stories?

scotchnaut

[rubs his hands by the fire]

Any story will do. Have at it, Senor!

litre_cola

I will go with an acid story.

Buddy of mine and I dropped acid then picked up breakfast shifts at 5 am at a resort hotel. I walked out of the kitchen and a guy in the dining room who was wearing a helmet had my buddy cornered and was showing him his wooden teeth. It was a very strange shift.

WCS

I smoked weed with Pacman Jones at a Christmas party.

litre_cola

Fantastic. I would like that. Bulllee dat.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Or do you want more death-adjacent stories?

scotchnaut

It was the first thing that dropped into my brain-TELL YOUR STORY!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Swimming story: When I was 12 years old, my dad was stationed at a NATO listening station southwest of Istanbul. The Boy Scout troop at the base once a year had an event where the scouts swam across the Bosporus. They had boats that escorted us so no one drowned or got swept down to the Aegean Sea via the Dardanelles. I am probably the only commentist that has swam from Asia to Europe. But maybe not.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s pretty fucking cool!

Spur

” I am probably the only commentist that has swam from Asia to Europe. But maybe not.”

This is a good way to find out which DFOer is in a Triad.

SonOfSpam

I was in the pool one day and heard “Heat of the Moment” and “The Final Countdown” on the radio back to back. Pretty sure that counts.

Viva La Tabula Raza

You win.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Acid, booze, weed, and guns; a few of us were running around the woods getting firewood; I hid and jumped out to scare a fellow tripper, but forgot I had kindling in my hand and scratched the shit out of his face and neck. A little while later we heard bullets whizzing by; it seemed pretty close. Back at camp the guy who was shooting said ‘No way; I was shooting up in the air!” Sure. We had cans of Denty Moore stew to eat; in the morning we woke up with dried stew in our hair and on the outside of the sleeping bags; I do not remember the stew fight.

WCS

BOSS TODD broke his pelvis in an “incident” at a bar near Ketchup Stadium last Sunday. He plans to recover by smoking more Marlboros and drinking twice the amount of Rebel Yell in the backseat of the Camaro.

Romonobyl

I call bullshit on that story. Ever been in the backseat of an IROC-Z? It’s impossible to do two things at once.

Don T

“Cool! A bedpan.”
-Rob receiving the Grand Price

Don T

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scotchnaut

I think we should all whisper a silent prayer for all those vehicles whose engines need to turn over at 4am EST tomorrow morning. It’s absolutely vital that the product/products in their rear storage facilities be delivered in a timely fashion.

/What? Did you think that fruits/vegetables were transported to your grocery store in pristine condition because magic?

Unsurprised

Nope. I want the east coast to starve to death.

scotchnaut

I was talking specifically about my own immediate concerns business-wise.

Unsurprised

Oh. Well, I definitely hope you starve to death.

herodotus450

“If they don’t make it, what will the cows eat!?”
-Andy R.

Unsurprised

People

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I know we had cremation story time in the other chain, but I’m going to share mine here.

A friend of mine died young back in the mid-aughts. His mom had him cremated and wanted to spread his ashes with his friends where we all used to hang out. Time comes, she says some words, there’s some crying, and then…no one can get the canister open. It was not coming open for anything. After a few minutes of struggling, the smallest, least-assuming guy in the group pops open a switch blade (!) to try and wedge it in there and pop the top off. Nope, not budging. Most people are still crying but I’m starting to lose it. So then the little guy starts CARVING THE TOP OF THE CANISTER WITH A SWITCH BLADE to try and at least get an opening to pour the ashes out. After some awkward stabbing, he hands the canister to the mom to start pouring out her son’s ashes. Starts to work a little but then jammed. She shakes it like Michael J Fox with a bottle of Heinz 57 but guess what: not everything gets incinerated into ash when a body is cremated. Some of it ends up…chunky. The chunks were blocking the hand-carved opening and required a fresh round of switchblading until finally everything could shake out and we could finish our ad hoc (and kind of illegal) public memorial.

Unsurprised

I’m crying now, but for wholly different reasons.

Don T

WOW

Gratliff

Spreading ashes is a tragedy waiting to happen if the conditions aren’t perfect. So much easier to just bury the container.

Viva La Tabula Raza

You’re absolutely right.comment image

scotchnaut

Wind chills are dropping to -40 Celsius tonight. If you stick your dick out your PJ’s for three minutes on your deck 10 minutes ago, you’ll regret it.

Gratliff

They’re cancelling schools in fucking Michigan due to cold. Shit’s no joke.

Romonobyl

It’s not often that school get’s cancelled in Detroit without involving police tape.

Unsurprised

Do they even close schools or just redirect foot traffic?

Wakezilla

Wouldn’t that just make your dick turn black, which thus makes it bigger?

/Lifehacker

Romonobyl

– 40 Celsius? How cold is that in “real” degrees?

scotchnaut

Colder than your wife.

/let’s leave it at that

Gratliff

PSA: Spectre and Meltdown are shitting all over modern processing standards. If you have an intel-based computer, go update your shit now, fucker. The internet is on fire. Computers were a mistake. They broke technology.

If you’re using a device with Intel, AMD, or ARM processors made between 1995 and tonight, watch for firmware and hope the wizard system engineers they employ can magic up some shit to fix massive hardware vulnerabilities with straight code.

Romonobyl

Well, at least they’re gonna use “straight” code.

Wakezilla

What does this mean, exactly?

Romonobyl

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ballsofsteelandfury

Right? I’ve no clue. Do I need to buy a new one?

Romonobyl

Good thing I held on to my old Packard Bell 8086.
Anybody got an AOL CD they don’t need anymore?

Gratliff

I was looking through a pile of blank 5.25″ floppy disks earlier.

Gratliff

Processor companies have been in a dead sprint trying to make machines superpowered. They pushed speeds 20-30% higher by ignoring little things like security, and the cat is out of the bag now. Meltdown allows applications to access data being used by other applications using the same processor core without any additional permissions. Fixes will hurt multitasking performance. Chrome’s core isolation security fix will increase its already ridiculous memory usage by about 30%. The good thing is it can be patched. The bad is that it’ll create noticeable slowdowns. Fortunately, it only affects machines using Intel-based processors. AMD and ARM aren’t vulnerable to it.

Spectre uses speculative execution (processor making assumptions about which memory locations and such it’ll need to use to push processing speeds) to pull unrelated data to the process. When it is sent to the wrong location, the unrelated data remains readable by the process and data that would normally be encrypted is visible. It’s more random, like Heartbleed was, and very difficult to target, but it’s currently unpatchable and affects every processor since the Pentium II (everything from your Smartphone to your toaster at this point). Literally, CERT’s true fix is throw it out and wait for something that doesn’t have this problem. There’s some crazy geniuses coming up with patches that’ll mitigate it, but it happens at the lowest level of the processor core, so firmware won’t fix it flat out.

Meltdown is far more dangerous right now. Someone could put code in their site to read data being handled in another browser tab. Patching that is a priority.

Gratliff

Super Nerds found out about this a year ago and started doing research projects and white pages. They informed Intel about it, and lo and behold, CEO guy just sold off $20 million of his stock a month later, for totally unrelated reasons, he assures us.

Romonobyl

Silver lining? Goodbye Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Gratliff

Fear not for social media. Normals will sell their children before sacrificing a minute of sweet memeing.

ballsofsteelandfury

/ checks home computer
// AMD

WhooHoo!

Romonobyl

Same here, I prefer to fight the power.

ArmedandHammered

Usually the only processor I will buy. Intel charged way too much back in the day and still does.

LemonJello

Welp, only one thing left to do, I guess.
https://i.chzbgr.com/full/4877872896/h21B30726/

Wakezilla

“There is a former Bills RB familiar with cutting difficulty he could ask for advice.”

Jesus, that’s good. With how I’m faring with this cold, Shady can send him my way cause death don’t seem so bad right now

Wakezilla

My friends will never admit it, but our hockey pool is significantly better when I’m in first place because I’m such a shit talker. And I can do it without personal attacks too, which is impressive.

scotchnaut

There’s a delicate art to shit-talking that only a minority of people understand. I’ve got a close buddy that isn’t fazed by anything I say to him during our live fantasy draft but implodes when I do the exact same thing on-line.

/maybe it’s just him