Your “How Much Is Positive Karma Worth? /Asking For A City” AFC Wild Card Game Open Thread

Much has been made of the chicken wing donation and the $300,000+ that has been donated to Andy Dalton’s “Spare The Red Child Foundation” and rightfully so. It’s makes all the rubes out there feel good in all their feeling places and might just do some concrete good in the world. Does this translate to a win on an actual football field for the Bills? To answer that we must go…TO THE GAME!

Buffalo/Jacksonville:

Here’s the thang-it looks like a bad matchup for the squadoo from upper New York State. The Jags lead the league in rushing offense and the Bills are ranked 30th in stopping that there run. That’s a double “Oof!” as I read it. Weaknesses and strengths tend to magnify themselves in the playoffs and I can’t see the Jags regressing that much.

Injury:

There’s a report out there that Shady McCoy, following a strict regimen of spa treatments and the ingestion of a stewy concoction of various flightless bird juices, (“try the emu, it’s got a nutty aftertaste!”) is ready and raring to go. Otherwise, it’s a long way down to Mike “He’s in the league still?” Tolbert and some Murphy kid and all of his 8 career carries.

Positive Bortles(?):

The fella has some good numbers at home including a 64% completion rate and a nifty 15/5 TD to intercept stat.

My Hot Takeaway:

The Bills will have to force turnovers early in order to offset the steady, belly-filling diet of Fournette that will be stuffed down their gullet. If the Jags get up by two scores early, no amount of broken tables can bring the Bills back.

Pound that keyboard like the champ that you are!

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LemonJello

Puntkakke? Puntkakke.

Doktor Zymm

Okay…the guide SAYS this is supposed to be the game, but instead it’s just a bunch of people seeing how long they can hold their hands over a lighter?

LemonJello

Footage from the stadium concourses?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Huh. And here I was thinking that they called Jacksonville “Saxonville” cause of all the WASPS.

Spur

Folks

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“If you see something happening, blow the whistle.”

– NFL’s officiating slogan, apparently

LemonJello

The exact opposite of Hollywood’s slogan.

...

I hope this game is nothing but perfectly thrown passes bouncing off receiver’s chests.

Doktor Zymm

Hell Yeah! I can get the game in Spanish! Take that in your stupid face, CBS!

Redshirt

And your new team with the Longest Active Playoff Drought is…Cleveland!!!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NFL_franchise_post-season_droughts

...

lol the Bears are tied for third-longest.

...

What’s great about that list is that is shows even if your team is a mediocre mess, you really should be in the playoffs every third season or so. To miss the playoffs more often than that is to be truly shitty.

Gratliff

Wasn’t that the weekend where both the Giants and Browns gave up huge leads to lose hilariously? I believe the Giants loss to the Niners involved a long snapper coming out of retirement and shitting the bed with the game on the line.

King Hippo

THANKS TRUDEAU!!!!11111

LemonJello

Muffed punt foreshadowing?

fleshwound_NPG

So many muffs this weekend

LemonJello

Sneak preview of tWBS and Hippo’s adventure last night?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Drive ending in a punt? PUT IN NATHAN PETERMAN!

King Hippo

How many horse tranquilizers ya reckon they jammed in Shady’s breakfast smoothie?

Redshirt

All of them.

Redshirt

Huh. So that’s what a happy Bengals moment looks like.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also this:

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theeWeeBabySeamus

D’awwwwwwwwww

fleshwound_NPG

BWHAHAHAHAHA NANCE GOTTA DO THIS ONE, THAT’S SOME GOOD SCHADENFREUDE, CBS

fleshwound_NPG

just woke up 10 min ago, to the news that jeff triplette is kill

good fuckin start

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish someone had blown the whistle on his career’s forward progress twenty years ago.

Charge of the Light Brigade

I am going out to the pub to watch the game, but wanted to check in and wish you all a merry playoff game!

...

Good afternoon.

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herodotus450

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Spanky Datass

“Multi-Paws!”

King Hippo

now THEY are properly honoring Silky Gerrard’s franchise legacy

...

The Jags’ Fifth Element: Bortles’ spirits*

*the spirits are all alcohol, obvs

clint greasewood

Let’s just be thankful Phil simms is in the studio and not calling this game.

Viva La Tabula Raza

All the articles on ESPN’s Patriots page are about Belichick leaving the team after this season. I guess the Patriots will still be pretty universally hated, as long is Brady is around. But when both Brady and Belichick are gone, who will the country turn their hatred upon?

Gratliff

Their fans.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I reckon that’s a given, I was thinking more along the lines of which team would fill the slot.

King Hippo

Nice try!

Redshirt

Steelers (next most popular team). Similar to how people hate Alabama.

Though, its wrong to compare the Steelers to Alabama, as they actually play good teams outside their division.

Gratliff

I’m hoping the answer is Philly due to winning it all and everyone turning their anti-Philly hatred up to 11.

fleshwound_NPG

red sox, since that’s where the pats “fans” will go after it ends

Gratliff

Maybe the single best line in KSK’s run was a young Tommy asking “What the fuck is a patriot?”

...

So if Brady or Belichick split, who ends up worse off? Whom do we want to see fail more?

Redshirt

Belichick. Brady doesn’t come off as entitled and cocky; just confident.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Mrs. Wakezilla and I are half way through the live version of Beauty and The Beast.

The storyline is bad. Was the cartoon version like this? Belle’s pretentious and not that likeable, Beast is a psychopath and Gaston is kind of a decent guy. What is going on?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly:

After the game Andy Reid tried to console the Chiefs players by telling them they are like a son to him.

I just saw this and had to bump it up; fucking great work.

herodotus450

Is it too early to compare this comment to the crips and blood picture which is in the hall of fame? By posing everything as a question am I able to propose things without committing to either side? Would I go ass to mouth if it was a special occassion?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

tWBS’s birthday is coming up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nope.
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Spanky Datass

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Gratliff

How many bosses in Buffalo eat a Stunner tomorrow if the Bills beat the Jaguras?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QU8DDJRwjkI

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So more than one emergency room visit as a result of a self-tasing of the balls?

Redshirt

I just love how The Rock slowly progressed to taking his Stunners from Insta-Perma-Death to approximately 0.4 x (HBK Overselling to Hogan at Summerslam).

Gratliff

Rock’s overselling of Austin in general is probably the single greatest thing he did in his career.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Hi Lucy!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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No reason; just an odd looking bird.

Redshirt

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Doktor Zymm

Oh awesome, it’s also being broadcast on NFL network, so I can watch, huzzah!

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s odd, the guide on my TV says they’re going to be showing episodes of A Football Life.

Doktor Zymm

Might just be a SlingTV thing?

Doktor Zymm

Oh wait, crap, no, they’re replaying it late tonight. Still no live option for me….

Game Time Decision

It should be streaming somewhere. There’s a Reddit list of streams

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have always had pretty good luck with buffstreams.

Viva La Tabula Raza

this seems to be working
http://buffstream.com/watch/nfl-live.php

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, though finding a decent stream is still a PITA, which is why I decided to pay monies for TV. Not having CBS was fine during the regular season, but I forgot about playoff games. Fucking CBS.

ArmedandHammered

Are they streaming it on their app? If you have already used your free time for the app, create a new email address at gmail and use it to get another free time period.

Dunstan

So, am I crazy to think that Buffalo, due to magical division rival superpower/weirdness, has at least a non-zero chance of beating the Patriots, whereas Tennessee has none?

ballsofsteelandfury

Tennessee knocked KC’s best player out of the game and that enabled them to win. No reason they can’t do that again.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This prospect appears to be a homeopathic remedy that has instantly cured my erectile dysfunction issues.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And after that elbow-to-the-back-of-the-head shit he pulled, it works for Gronk too!

Dunstan

Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

JustStopDude

Nottingham Forrest is up 3 to 1 on Arsenal.

The American on Forrest has score two of the goals.

litre_cola

I am watching and it is great. Wenger put out a young side and isn’t even on the touch line. That will show him.

Wakezilla

Wegner not even on the touch line when a young squad is out there?

Is he dying?

litre_cola

Remember, he is the Marvin Lewis of England and cannot die by conventional losses.

herodotus450

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Doktor Zymm

Here’s hoping I can watch this game, despite it being on CBS which I do not have….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No CSI?

No.

No Big Bang Theory?

No.

No Young Sheldon?

Rikki, those shows all come from the same network!

[chuckles] Yes, Zymm, a wonderful, magical network…

Doktor Zymm

Wow, in just a handful of seconds, you made me appreciate the richness of my life!

JustStopDude

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Not related to the game, but kudos to Lebron calling out the shithead Brown’s players bitching about fans going to the parade.

King Hippo

Jesus, for once I agree with something that asshat says…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Knowing you hate him makes me like James more. I was neutral before, meh; great player and all but…

JustStopDude

He is pretty damn optimistic to think that the Browns are anywhere close to wining back to back games in a season.

Viva La Tabula Raza

My Buffalo-born-and-raised ex-girlfriend didn’t know shit about football when we started dating in the late 1980s. I got her interested, and she was very excited when they went to their first SB; disappointed but not distraught about the wide right loss. Each subsequent SB loss affected her worse, until at the end of SB XXVIII she was bawling her eyes out. I felt like a monster.

ballsofsteelandfury

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Now you’re just trying to piss me off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

So lest we forget… how was the strip club, Hippo?

King Hippo

mediocre and regretful, per usual

King Hippo

but the debt is paid!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

The debt is paid.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

But it will still cost him to get that stain out.

yeah right

And now his watch has ended.

ballsofsteelandfury

I believe tWBS is gonna do a BoTG post.

theeWeeBabySeamus

But no photos, sadly.
I’ll try and find representative ones off the interwebz tho.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Get some art commissioned; it may cost a few beers, but worth it.

litre_cola

People coming over for the Bills game due to their lots of Bills fans here who are Ontario transplants. Have the wings in the slow cooker, the brats are all wrapped with bacon, have 2 growlers of Vanilla Cappuccino Porter and wine of course. Let’s break some tables.

JustStopDude

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Lotion or hose?

King Hippo

At least if the Jaguras lose, I will be out of GAMBLOR ideas.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Are we going to the “good” strip club this time at least?
😛

litre_cola

Nah, you want to go to the low track. In Melbourne Oz we went to a place downtown called Hosie’s tavern which was a strip club under a 7-11. The women went around with beer jugs rattling around dollar and 2 dollar coins and when they had enough in there they would dance. It was about as seedy as I have ever seen. It was all folding chairs and the dudes that frequented that place were something else.

King Hippo

sounds akin to Squidbillies’ Jiggle Hut

theeWeeBabySeamus

This is going to sound really raycess, and I don’t mean it to, and sincerely, it isn’t. But….

I logged onto fb just now because I had msgs waiting. But before I logged off, I noticed the little space where fb tries to get you to be friends with other folks…. “People You May Know” they call it.

Aside from the handful I know in real life but would never presume to annoy on fb (some of our fine compatriots here, in fact)….

Every one was of latino/latina heritage.

Now, I do speak spanglish to some folks on there sometimes (stop evesdropping, fb). But I also speak shitty French to more folks on there. So my questions is simple…

WHERE’S ALL THE HOT FRENCH GIRLS FACEBOOK??????

Fuck it, let’s get drunk.

(And I blame you for this Dok Zymm)

Gratliff

I know one (1) African that I’m friends with through facebook, and 95% of the people Facebook suggests are from everywhere from South Africa to Afghanistan, which almost certainly means I’m on a government list somewhere. People in the actual state I live in make up a fraction of the remaining 5%.

King Hippo

#BlessTehRains

Wakezilla

How is Kenny, the Nigerian Prince?

ballsofsteelandfury

This is why I don’t have Facebook

blaxabbath

Just banned over here.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Having grown up as a white male in suburban Connecticut, I think I have a pretty good ear for racism, and I don’t hear any here.

blaxabbath

Yeah, Gb’s collapse has limited the Coon callouts around here. But I got faith in Al to slip up and refer to Gurley as a tar baby soon enough.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah well, you happen to be one of the white folks fb wants me to be friends with just so you know.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Viva La Tabula Raza

The internet has stopped telling me that there are plenty of local hot chicks that want to fuck me. Or maybe I’ve just stopped going to sites that have this message. Weird thing was that I live in a fairly rural area and you’d think I’d recognize at least one of those girls whose pictures are shown.

litre_cola

SHE IS # MILES AWAY AND WANTS TO SHARE PICS!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I once got a “local milfs want to fuck” ad that had a picture of Sandra Otterson.

Senor Weaselo

The hot definitely-not-a-bot-or-a-catfish keep friend requesting me, but I’m not that desperate!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Doesn’t sound racist, it sounds like FB is racist, or knows your porn tastes.

Wakezilla

Facebook’s algorithm seems to be messed up these days. All my friend suggestions are with people with zero mutuals and are from Pakistan/Afghanistan.

Doktor Zymm

I don’t work on that team, so don’t know how the suggestions are generated. However, if someone searches for you or someone you know, that might contribute. There’s also geographical proximity and some other stuff. People use Facebook different ways in different countries, so suggestions for people in other countries might be based on different user behavior in those countries, not your behavior. It could also be based on participation in groups, or if you commented on any big public stuff they also commented on (like news stories). I have no idea if any of this is correct, but I think they’re reasonable guesses.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was joking, fwiw.

I suspect most of it has to do with me having been promoting Puerto Rico charities among my friends.

yeah right

During my grocery store run yesterday I saw a group of 6-7 mid 20’s dudes buying a shitload of beer, chips and ice all decked out in Rams gear as they prepared to head for a tailgate party before the game.

I swear to God this is a true statement.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You should have asked them who their casting agent was and how they landed the gig.

Gratliff

With any luck, they were the actual 6-7 Rams fans that exist in the area and they’re all extremely devastated right now.

Gratliff

Aw yeah. Time for the in-no-way-nerdy bi-annual ritual of watching better gamers than I demonstrate how to shave .015 seconds off their Mario Kart times for charity…for the next 7 days!

Petronel

I’ve arranged my workflow for maximum mindless-work-that-I-can-do-while-listening-to-speedruns this week. Always have to catch the survival horror block on VOD, though, since I’m old and and can’t stay up for all of it if I want to be functional the next day.

Gratliff

Just looking at the target times for the horror block makes me sad.

Petronel

I’ve never actually seen a speedrun of RE7 – looking forward to that particularly. (That, and the MGS3 run – the runner did a run of MGS2 last year with an amazing Rays battle.)

Senor Weaselo

The answer is snaking. Always. Continuously.
/I did get pretty decent at Mario Kart DS, thanks to my DS Original getting the entire right side of my screen getting fucked up in my backpack, so when I got a DS Lite it was very easy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
King Hippo

nice to know someone still capable of shame in this modern era

King Hippo

or wait, after reading full article

Roger Goodell is a National Disgrace

/still, fuck the Chefs

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, and I thought us AFC North imbeciles had teh hate.
You West guys…

Well, ruhspekt. ‘Nuff said.

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King Hippo

Raiders and Donks folk can certainly agree on KC hate

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So apparently in addition to his work as a QB, RB, WR, and OL, Mariota was also doing some work as offensive coordinator. “Man, that guy’s got range,” said Brandon Marshall.

King Hippo

I definitely expected Saturday to be the day a young QB stepped into the spotlight to show the footballing world he had fully arrived.

Just didn’t think it would be Mariota, who’s apparently been playing hurt all year. Tough dude.

Redshirt

Sadly, I have to root for the Bills today. What with all the goodwill the Bills fans have sent the Bengals way and also the relationship between the Bills and Bengals is…kind of weird right now.
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King Hippo

Music City Miracle rematch, it is written

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just the game happening itself would be a miracle.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

After the game Andy Reid tried to console the Chiefs players by telling them they are like a son to him.

litre_cola

This is just fantastic. Banner IMO

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, I must agree with litre here. This needs to be seen up top.

Redshirt

Since we’re all going to Hell already, banner this s’il vous plait.

King Hippo

hey, you might as well make Ol’ Scratch whistle at your resume ,, amirite??

King Hippo

“I made a poopie!” – Travis Kelce

blaxabbath

I cannot tell if you hate or like KC.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t believe how badly the Chiefs choked in the second half yesterday. I haven’t seen an Andy Reid creation so lifeless since August 5, 2012.

herodotus450

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Petronel

Andy Dalton, after eating ALL the wings.

King Hippo

We would have also accepted Andy Reid, after 3 months on a desert island

theeWeeBabySeamus

Poor guy looks positively gaunt.

herodotus450

He thought it was a dessert island.

herodotus450

(wakes up, shakily spills coffee everywhere)
Isn’t there at least some association football to watch this morning ?

herodotus450

Maybe I’ll just read this week’s fluff piece about how “The Vegas Knights are really good, no seriously they are good (but they’re not that good) and by definition they are setting all kinds of records isn’t that cool long form article writing is a dying medium.”

blaxabbath

It is going to be amazing to watch the GOP run on a pro-[moderate] Trump agenda in November. And they’ll win because their donors are going to come through big after that tax handout.

It’s amazing that people don’t care than dollars raised is a legitimate metric for recognizing political winners. Like, Might as well just report that, “With three months until election day, Jim Johnson has funding to run twice as many commercials full of lies to stupid people than his opponent.”

herodotus450

Remember when we thought a recording of trump admitting to harassing women and openly supporting the kkk would hurt him?

litre_cola

Wish there was a tailgate channel.

blaxabbath

Or even a show. I came home last month and my wife had on some ABC house decorating competition where they visited different homes decorated for Christmas and it was [edited to look like] a big spectacle.

Of course, then they’d do that for tailgates and just try to sell it as a ‘rivalry’ when any CFB fan knows that zero sentences about anyone’s rival cannot be broadcast on ABC (BETWEEN ALL NEW EPISODES OF BIG BANG AND YOUNG SHELDON!).

Horatio Cornblower

My system carries one; it’s right between Red Zone and the Gorilla Channel.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Welp, both Missouri teams lost yesterday. Wait, what?

Oh and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STAN KROENKE

King Hippo

yeah, the Kroenke sads is balm on the wound. But I hope this doesn’t detract from L.A.’s newfound love affair with professional footballing.

blaxabbath

I hope BUF makes the SB and loses. Again.

Redshirt

They may have to install those anti-suicide fences they put on bridges over Niagara Falls if that happens.

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