A hale and hearty “Hullo!” to all my fellow pigskin huffers. Boy, did you ever hunker down to the funkiest spot on the net for the football watching. Say, here’s a trivia query: “When was the last time the overall #1 seed was a home dog?” No googling! If memory serves, you’d have to all the way back to 1935 or so when the Camden Meat Maulers hosted the Decataur Drooling Horde. What happened was that the Horde’s general manager up and snuck Notre Dame’s recently-graduated triple threat quarterback Sonny “The Ukrainian Tornado” Poroshenko onto the roster thus ensuring the victory. Apparentlly, the story goes, Commissioner Judge And Jury Kenesaw Mountain Landis (his billfold bursting at the seams with a very recent infusion of sawbucks) saw nothing wrong with this cheeky maneuver. The rest we’re all very much aware of-meat was mauled, hordes drooled, the body count totaled 3 and the final 0-0 score left the crowd chanting (for the very first time) “GO, METEOR!”. Will events unfold in a similar matter today? For the answers we must go… TO THE GAME!
Atlanta/Philadelphia:
She’s gonna be a cold one for the players today-it’ll be about 20 degrees with the windchill or what Canadians would call “a day at the beach’.
Injuries:
Yeah, there’ll be a few.
Good King Wentz Is Lost:
The before-amentioned Nick Foles has quite a bit on his plate today. Them Eagles finished up 13-3 but their brand new-ish starting qb finished up 23 for 49 in their last two tilts. (That 2013 Pro Bowl appearance back in ’13 seems like a two careers ago) On third downs over that two game stretch the news doesn’t get any better-he’s 1 of 17 passing on third downs. Did I mention that he’s fumbled in each of his last three starts?
Keep An Eye Out For:
The Falcons D, per the last eight weeks of the season is a top 5 unit overall. Most impressive has been 2nd year lb Deion Jones. He’s the one that intercepted Brees in spectacular fashion to save the Falcons playoff hopes and also batted down a potential TD score while shadowing Sammy Watkins in the end zone.
My Hot Takeaway:
It’ll take some time for each offense to get going so the first one to 20 wins. Falcons over Eagles 20-13.
I’m done but you’re just getting started-“GO GO GADGET FINGERS!”
Moar of this pls
foles looks too competent right now
911: 911 what’s your emergency
ME: I’m stuck in a Pringles can
911: just relax your hand and pull it out
ME: hand?
“Yeah but I don’t want to let go of the pringles.”
– Andy Reid
“With me that’s physically impossible, unless it’s one of those grab n’ go cans.”
– Most of the male commentariat
They make 56 ml cans of Pringles?
I think Foles needs more Smallwood
What dumb marketing exec thinks these commercials are going to get people to buy their products? Oh who am I kidding, these people probably know there are hundreds of millions of empty-headed fucks who are gullible enough to buy their products based on their shitty commercials.
DILLY DILLY
I can’t bring myself to like this, but you are correct
http://wwwimage2.cbsstatic.com/thumbnails/photos/w370/show_page/680d3defa78b4262_ysuf_thm_16.9_1920x1080.jpg
Do you think if they replaced this game with a rebroadcast of last week’s Jaguars/Bills game anyone would notice the difference?
passes are somewhat in the general vicinity of WRs in this game
Foles has really got settled in. Isn’t that right, Chris?
it’s a nice homage
Brady’s football?
Fun fact: Amari Cooper and Sammy Watkins were drafted higher (4th overall) than Julio Jones (6th overall).
I can’t believe these guys ( in all sports) are swigging this Gatorade shit down during games. They might as well drink Mountain Dew.
Mountain Dew original isn’t healthy?
No, it doesn’t have enough nanobubbles.
No gotz what plants crave?
Julio is so fucking annoying to play against
“Nigel Bradham” sounds like a parody of a British name.
Rodger Bum
Matt Ryan: ELiTe QuaTErbAcK
I wish, Chris, you could show America how you shut the fuck up.
Is that why I like Tony Romo more than this Collinsworth guy? Cause Tony Romo doen’t talk as much?
I think when Tony talks he doesn’t only do it to hear his own voice. I really like him as an announcer and I hate teh Cowboys.
Romo talks like a fan, like he’s sitting on a couch next you holding a beer.
Collinsworth talks down to you and has favorite players who can’t do no wrong.
/dons poncho
//applies ski goggles
///straps on athletic supporter
Actually, I miss Phil Simms
I’d love to see Ajayi get 20+ carries from here on in.
For some reason I really dislike him.
I did too. Now I am forced to like him. At least he isnt a felon. Sad I have to say that.
I’d like to see Dakota Jeebus out there on a Rascal
Fack.
Nationwide ads don’t suck as much when Peyton Manning isn’t in them. I mean, they still suck just not as much.
I went with Tits +14 for $55, but to spread the risk, took their team over (17.5) for $105. I reckon even if the Pats ass blast ’em, it will involve garbage time scoring.
also an extra $145 on N’Awlins, I really can’t imagine that fixture not being within a FG either way
And now another word from our sponsors:
Get a load of Collinsworth cumming in his slacks over a Matt Ryan four yard completion.
He’s been edging/watching Tom Brady film all week. He’s, um, at the red line from release, if you know what I mean.
Matt Ryan looks incredibly derpy trying to do a Russel Wilson impression
one could say it’s a pale imitation
Philadelphia cranking up the
http://www.sarahmclachlan.com/files/2014/10/sarahmclachlan-500×500.jpg
Hey new guy, I appreciate you being here but not the message.
Andy Reid is hungry, and not just for a cheesesteak. He’s also hungry for Spare Ribs, Bacon, New York Strip, Buffalo Wings, Glazed Doughnuts, cheesecake, and ham.
Steaks, whole pigs, goats, lambs, waffle fries, cheese fries, chili fries, sweet potato fries (they’re healthier), tempura everything
rhinos, elephants, lions, tigers, bison, giraffes, kangaroos
Jurassic World II: Andy Reid’s Visit
Andy Reid thinks zoos are just uncooked buffets
Andy hoping for future of edible delivery drones that just fly into mouth
Tits are now FULL 14 point dogs. Saints up to 5.5. Considering MOAR ACTION!!
Never enough action for you. 1st the strippers, now this.
I’d take the TITS at +21.
Yep, saw that.
Considering the Tits to cover.
Always a good thing to hope foar, btw
Do it for Don T!!!!
Gotta wait to see how this one plays out first.
Unlike Hippo, I don’t have an unlimited supply of winnings to draw from.
Because I usually lose.
hey, I only ahead like $350
Goddamn ‘dem Rams.
and Okies
Oh right. I forgot about that one.
Maybe that’s why I keep betting….bad memory.
I never thought I would say this but:
Hands off the Tits. I think they’ll disappoint you.
I liked watching the Trump Book author on CNN.
CNN Guy: “I liked the book.”
Author: “Thank you.”
CNN Guy: “I do have some issues and criticisms.”
Author: “YOU CAN’T JUDGE ME!”
Neat
Proof that God hasn’t forgiven the Falcons for the Super Bowl collapse.
http://alexanderlozada.com/iasip/?IkRlbm5pcyBCZWNvbWVzIEEgVGVhY2hlciI=
Shitty football is ok if the score remains close. In fact, it’s kind of amusing.
Interesting point by Audi. Seems like traffic jams actually would be one of the easiest situations for self-driving cars to manage.
Bahahaha 3 points!
seriously fuck all georgia sports teams forever
holy fuckballs, he MADE IT!
HALF TIME!
as a recluse who hasn’t had non-courtesan intercourse in 4+ years…TOTES accurate!!
nobody has ever been laid while owning a pt crusier
Truth
The crying Lady Liberty is a nice touch.
Alshon Jeffery has been discovered by Nick Foles…with :01 left in 2nd
Foles doesn’t need corrective eye surgery or anything right?
This should be hilarious
No way in hell in this wind
THE REVERSE JINX MOTHERFUCKER
Alright, what was the over under on this game again?
Amateur.
– M. Mariota
Julio’s in!
– Julio’s wife and/or girlfriend
LOOK AT THE SIZE DIFFERENCE!!!! THROW IT TO ALSHON FOR FUCK SAKES
You’re asking too much of him.
either team gonna get killed next week
I can’t even…
Just like they drew it up.
Whooooo Deflection
Bahahahaha!
Stupid falcon had the int
They are murdering the sport of Football.
Hahahahhhahaha
I don’t know anymore. What is anything.
Well that will work.
BWHAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT
The Gang Attempts a 1 Minute Drive
This is all just incredibly stupid
Evergreen