Don’t get me wrong-I think this will be a low-scoring, hard-fought tilt with plenty of hits and I’m all for it. What else do I be thinking? To know that we must go… TO THE GAME!
Minnesota/Philadelphia:
At long last more than a few denizens of The City of Brotherly Love will discover what it is like to throw up with a dog mask on their face. There won’t be any whips or the like involved but there could be a police baton or two making an appearance. Jason Kelce has informed the fans that there is some etiquette involved saying, “Remember, take off the mask before you spit on your buddy’s girlfriend. Manners are important!”
Injuries:
Safety Sendejo is out of concussion protocol and Adam Thielen is a go despite having ‘tiny cracks in his spine’.(?!) When you’re made of 100% grit these kinds of injuries are to be expected.
Matchup Mayhem:
Everson Griffin vs. Hal Vaitai: Hooo boy this won’t be pretty. Vaitai was ranked 47th out of 55 lineman in Pass-blocking Efficiency according to PFF. Griffin has 13 sacks so far and 61 pressures. Foles is a pocket passer that needs some protection. Does the qb have two consecutive non-Foles-ian games in him? We shall see…
Stats That Don’t Much Matter:
The Vikes have lost 5 straight NFC Championship games. They also have a 6-2 road record this year. The Eagles are giving up an average of 10.3 points per game at home since late October. Yikes. I guess it’ll come down to which qb makes the fewest mistakes. (shudders when he recalls Keenum’s ‘toss it up, see where it goes’ interception to Marcus Williams last week)
Bring your “A” game fellas and don’t forget to do your stretches!
E’splain something to me please. If Congress and the Senate are considered “essential” to the country’s operation, how come whenever I accidentally switch to CSPAN, all I ever see is one person giving a speech to an auditorium full of empty seats?
You think they have time to read bills and listen to speeches with all the lobbyists they have to gladhand?
And don’t forget those interns aren’t going to sexually harass themselves.
Because those speeches are for the people back home. All the real “work” is being done behind closed doors, and well out of public view.
There’s no actual political debate any more. Party strategists and election consultants (and lobbyists) determine what everybody’s position is.
The intricate machinations of governance aren’t meant for the eyes of the population.
If you’re arguing that they shouldn’t be paid while working out a compromise, I totally agree
That was the gist, yes.
Distinguished is what they call white men when they get old
I can personally kill that theory for you with a simple upload.
NSFW but I think we all need some palate cleansing
‘Inventing The Abbots’ Jennifer Connolly is the best Jennifer Connolly.
With Liv Tyler as the awkward sister!
Early 90s Jenny was the best Jenny.
Rocketeer Jennifer FTW.
Mulholland Falls Jennifer. Career Opportunities Jennifer, too.
Shoutout to Blood Diamond Jennifer as well.
Career Opportunities.
Oooooof.
I gotta admit, I’m disappointed that I won’t get to watch the Vikings choke at home in the Superbowl
I really wish I’d shorted Duracell stock before this game.
Should’ve bought shares in Crisco.
At least it isn’t the Cowboys
You root for a team whose name we can’t even say here.
And don’t need to in the postseason.
At least it isn’t X, where X is at least half the fucking league.
D’awww!
FWIW, my Cowboy hate has sadly flagged as of late, currently my main objection is Zeke.
Fuck it.
If you insist.
Well, I would, except for her objections, Justin Verlander’s objections and my wife’s objections.
Verlander is a pussy. You could take him.
DFO P.A. Announcer: “Pinch-hitting for Horatio Cornblower…”
This ref sure seems happy that the Patriots scored a touchdown.
So, how much of the Super Bowl crowd is corporate shills and contest winners, vs actual fans of the teams playing?
I’d put it at 70-30, in favor of the shills.
I think the NFL is the only league in which its championship game(s) is garbage in terms of attending as an actual fan.
Depends on how many are considered “essential fans”.
All of them.
I’d say had the Vikes shown up and won this game, they’d be at a disadvantage playing a home Superb Owl for that reason.
If there’s anyone who can lead a 31 point 4th quarter comeback, it isn’t Case Keenum
And instead of saying the one that can I’d rather cut my own tongue out with a butter knife.
Why do you hate Colin Kaepernick so much?
Joe Buck looks like Cliff Clavon when Cheers was having that beard-growing contest.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Torrey Smith still alive?
Well I might be biased, but this week was way not as much fun as last week.
Not that last week was perfect, but it was pretty good.
From Rappoccio’s FB:
I gotta agree with him.
Ugh, too slow. Give me nearby star going supernova and gamma ray radiation instantly scouring the surface of the earth.
We get the end times we deserve.
So climate change it is.
Not to pile on the Vikings, but after going 4-0 in conference championships (and losing the subsequent Super Bowl), the Vikings have gone 0-6 in conference championships.
Imagine being a miserable Vikings fan after your team loss and having your city under siege by Eagles and Patriots fans.
In February.
That’s what they get for killing all those birds
Eagles gonna die because BIRDMURDERDOME BIRDMURDERDOME BIRDMURDERDOME
feed them all lutefisk
Maybe they’ll do like Austinites do during SXSW and rent their homes out and leave town for the duration.
Wouldn’t you have to burn the house to the ground and salt the earth just to remove the taint of having Eagles and/or P*triots fans in your home?
A good fumigation will probably do the job. It’s only for a few days, after all…
Wait until they are inside, tie them up, and leave them there.
Isn’t illegal to be showing murders on live television.
Not in this stupid country.
You’re thinking of bare breasts, not violent murder.
Commercial, play, commercial. Drink!
Well everyone hates the Eagles BUT THEY HATE THE P*TS MOAR!!!!
Given the present-day atmosphere in these United States, what could be more appropriate than a Hate Bowl?
speak for yourself. Go Dirty Cheaters!
I expected that from you and Romonobyl to be honest
I’m officially on the Iggles bandwagon for the duration.
Fuck Tawmmmmy.
hate runs eternal
Negative, football is dead to me.
I’m pretty attenuated to the loathsomeness that is the Pats winning. I’m not sure I want to learn a new type of disgust, and I’m certainly not sure I want the Eagles to have a ring
Accidentally plucking out my nose hairs because why not.
Accidentally?
I’m with Dok here. That seems like a difficult “mistake” to make.
Hey, funny story. I thought this game started at 8, so I had dinner, puttered around the house and just sat down to watch what I thought would be the end of the first half.
And from what I can see it looks like the Vikings thought that the game started some time tomorrow, so I don’t feel too bad.
Nah, they thought the game ended about 5 minutes after it started
Time to make a change and sit Keenum down. I mean, can’t get worse right?
Mr. Winkles is going to have a Reid-ian feast in the locker room after this shitshow.
CHICKEN BONDAGE, PEOPLE!
NFL Fans: “The Patriots are going to be playing the Super Bowl? Again?! Aw, I can’t imagine more undeserving arrogant team.”
Philadelphia Eagles: “Challenge accepted!”
And they wonder why ratings are down.
I’m seriously going to need an hepatitis vaccination booster before watching that.
The Worst outcome has Happened. That darkest timeline is now reality:
I’m not sure why you think the Vikings getting obliterated in the NFC Championship is indicative of the darkest (or even a particularly dark) timeline. It’s pretty much regular timeline material.
I am referring to an Eagles-Patriots Super Bowl.
Remember the glory days of Fran Tarkenton, when the Vikings waited until the Super Bowl to forget how to play?
Worst NES Game you received or bought
The Adventures of Bayou Billy
Magic Johnson’s Fast Break
Top Gun
Yoshi
It was goddamn impossible to refuel and land.
BATTLETOADS
i met one person my age who got past the speeder level without using a game genie.
I made it too. I made it a life goal to do it
They all get their own slot on Games Done Quick.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-dick-moves-everyone-pulled-in-classic-video-games/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPJfwlpSR-I
46:30 for blindfold speeder run
Home Alone
Friday the 13th
used a game genie on this and it was fun.
Fuck you.
Dick Tracy
Bible Adventures.
Shocking, I know…but yes this was gifted to me by a family member.
And it sucks. I ended up drowning it eventually so it could never hurt anyone ever again.
No, I didn’t make this up…..
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible_Adventures
Hero
We want Brady? Careful what you wish for Eagles fans..
*clap* TROLLS *clap* TROLLS
Downside of putting an Echo on top of one of my speakers, Alexa responds to every damn Amazon commercial, generally by playing me shitty music
How does she respond to Texis Alexis porn?
I CAIN’T WAIT TO BET ONE A THEM TALKIN BOXES
Stealing a chant? Please don’t do that Philly. I don’t want to root for the Pats.
Nice trolling, Eagles fans.
They’re Eagles, not Legates. They shouldn’t be killing the Vikings.
No worries, Vikes. You played a solid 4:46 of the game.
Okay, I dig that Web of Fries bit.
What’s the best thing to do when the battle doesn’t go your way, Vikings?
That’s right, BURN IT ALL DOWN!
I turned the channel back to see a fight involving the Viking and Eagles and then the Eagles cheerleaders came running in.
So what did I miss?
Not a damned thing. That did just happen.
Did they send the cheerleaders out to seperate them?
How am I the only one chuckling at the idea of chicken bondage?
Jesus. Maybe y’all prefer fish.
Thank you. I’m trying to distract the non-Eagles and Pats fans from the bleakness ahead.
A fight on the field that doesn’t involve fans?
That’s smart, send the cheerleaders out to distract from the fight. Works every time.
So apparently the cheer squad is vital to the onfield conflict resolution process?
When there’s a fight on the field what’s the best thing to do?
SEND IN THE CHEERLEADERS!!!!!!
LMFAO
Hey, if you know who might hit a girl, you know who to keep an eye on in the offseason
Oh, so they’re recon. Sneaky smrt.
For a second I thought the cheerleaders were headed out to join the brawl.
Bring in Bridgewater, dammit!
You know, I bet Gronk has a really awesome mom
GETTIN CHIPPY
“Chips? Where?”
-Andy Reid
I was promised a heart breaking, soul crushing, last minute defeat by failure.
This is not that. Vikings fans are getting off easy.