Your “We Are All Jags Fans Today” AFC Championship Game Open Thread

Are you ready? Last Sunday was oh-so-glorious and I’m not sure how it can be topped but the bowels of my being are telling me it will be. Perhaps that’s last night’s chili talking, I’ve no idea. What the heckfire am I waiting for? TO THE GAME!

Jacksonville/New England:

Some football fans down Florida way are talking about The Coughlin Effect transforming this team. “So what is The Coughlin Effect?”, you may ask. Well, as a Giants fan I can tell you it involves not wearing hats in meetings, setting the clocks in the practice facility five minutes ahead and treating any and all injuries with bloodletting-you know, basic crotchety old man stuff. I’ve no doubt that when he was first told that players were kneeling during the anthems his gut reaction was to foam at the mouth.

Injuries:

Tom Brady has some stitches in his paw-paw. Will he play? (yes) Will he wear a glove? (maybe) Will it affect his game? (no) Do I like question marks? (most assuredly)

Stratergizering:

Rumour has it that Adele would like to see Jalen Ramsay on the Gronkster but the Jags D usually covers te’s with a safety (Church/Gipson) or Myles Jack. Besides the fact that Ramsey is out-weighed by a good fifty pounds, what of Brandin Cooks? I can’t see the Jags pulling something special out of their game plan hat today.

Here’s a Problem:

Their names are Hurns, Westbrook, Cole and Lee. That’s not the name of a law firm, that’s the Jags receiving corpse. If the team falls behind by two scores it’s not going to be pretty. That said, I think the speedy Westbrook just might grab a TD on some sort of trickery dickery dock.

Old Adage is old:

War. Won. Trenches. You know how it goes but if Jacksonville’s d-line of Ngakoue, (another strip-sack maybe?) Campbell, Jackson, Dareus and Fowler play as they have been recently the timing that Brady & Co. depend so much upon will be jiggered and they’ll be out of their comfort zone.

Have at ‘er darlings-it’s all yours now.

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Brocky

Upcoming fuckery

Dick E. Phuck

Thank God

...

Jesus. Is that a fucking stop?

blaxabbath

Take 15 and put it right into Tawmy’s dome.

Spur

no flag for hitting Brady?

Gratliff

It’s not too late to gnaw off his fucking thumb, Jags.

DontHair

Jesus tap dancing Christ these refs.

King Hippo

nice hit (finally)

Duchess

Penalty! Breathing on the Patriot player automatic 1st down

King Hippo

life is just a bunch of goddamned shit

Spur

The only way today could get any worse is if the Viks lose

blaxabbath

Good for Ramsey. They were gonna throw that flag regardless.

Redshirt

…okay. That’s legit.

herodotus450

Wat? I always thought you guys were kinda crazy withe the NE PI talk, but that call….

Brocky

All myths have some basis in reality

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, that’s just blatant bullshit.

LemonJello

Of. Fucking. Course.

Gratliff

I go eat dinner and come back to this. Horsecock.

Dick E. Phuck

Oh god no.

...

JESUS GODDAMN FUCKING CHRIST

King Hippo

WHAT???

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey folks. So is this the kind of drive where the Patriots will receive nine consecutive defensive holding penalties, or the kind of drive where the Patriots receivers will blatantly push off on ever play but not get called for it?

Dick E. Phuck

Nostradamus.

Brocky

Yes

Horatio Cornblower

Well, there’s the first, but I have to say the Jags certainly earned that one.

King Hippo

into the booze now

Old School Zero

On the one hand, it would be awesome if the Jags beat the Pats and I’d watch the Jags in the Superb Owl. On the other hand, Patriots going to the Superb Owl gives me more time to play Yakuza 4.

SonOfSpam

“That’s a great nickname for my cock!”

– B. Favre

Redshirt

(locks key to DFO Balcony to deter suicidal leapers)

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think theMaestro would like the key so he can yell loudly and triumphantly to the heavens.

LemonJello

“Shouldn’t you have brought the membership in off the balcony before locking it?”
-me

Petronel

[ BATHROOM WINDOW FLIES OPEN ]

Smithchez

You don’t own me!

/runs through glass

Brocky

Well, looks like 2018 won’t be the year of reporting assaults because that was as blatant as you can get

Spur

pick-six?

SonOfSpam

Listen you pessimistic motherfuckers, Jags are gonna win this. Stop with the doom and gloom.

makeitsnowondem

Goddamn right.

Dick E. Phuck

I’ve seen this fourth quarter fuckery before. It didn’t scare me enough then, it does now.

Redshirt

I’ve been a Bengal fan since ’92. Its not pessimism; its pained experience.

Horatio Cornblower

3rd and 9? Let’s run a 5 yard in and hope like hell for a PI call!

Fuck you, you do not deserve to win.

Gatoraids

Throws up in notebook… Life over

Dick E. Phuck

Fuck my life.

blaxabbath

fml

LemonJello

Welp. I guess we really can’t have nice things.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jeebus.

Smithchez

Yup. It’s over.

...

Goddamn it.

Dick E. Phuck

No flags, of course.

King Hippo

well, that’s ballgame

Gatoraids

Operation Blake Bortles. A Bridge Too Far

King Hippo

WHAT THE FUCK???

Smithchez

This fucking OC is driving me insane

...

lol now this is a take sure to set Boston ablaze

https://twitter.com/Bro_Pair/status/955198788817207296

...

I used to root for the Pats, growing up in New England. Then I stopped because they’re not just cheating ratfuckers, but have a qb, owner, and coach who love Trump. Just start rooting against them because they’re evil. Its really easy

SonOfSpam

I’m Mr. Hurns, do this do that, blah blah blah I’m so big

Spur

thank you lord!

King Hippo

THROW AGAIN

King Hippo

HUZZAH!!!

Dick E. Phuck

Run the ball on 1st and 10 when you need a touchdown to stop Patriot momentum in the 4th quarter, Genius.

Horatio Cornblower

Blake Bortles has played the game of his life and the Jags have 20 points.

Which should tell you about all you need to know about Blake Bortles.

blaxabbath

He’s be a retard to not put it in fournettes hands as much as possible.

Smithchez

YOU DON’T HAVE TO RUN ON EVERY FIRST DOWN!

blaxabbath

Oh good, we’re at the point where the Pats get to play well through the whistle because “scrappy Goliath”.

DontHair

How the fuck do people watch these dog shit dramas on CBS? They all look awful.

Gatoraids

Olds can’t find the remote

LemonJello

The Corrections Officers won’t change the tv in the cell block day room.

Duchess

The nursing homes only get two channels. CBS and Fox News

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