Your “We Are All Jags Fans Today” AFC Championship Game Open Thread

Are you ready? Last Sunday was oh-so-glorious and I’m not sure how it can be topped but the bowels of my being are telling me it will be. Perhaps that’s last night’s chili talking, I’ve no idea. What the heckfire am I waiting for? TO THE GAME!

Jacksonville/New England:

Some football fans down Florida way are talking about The Coughlin Effect transforming this team. “So what is The Coughlin Effect?”, you may ask. Well, as a Giants fan I can tell you it involves not wearing hats in meetings, setting the clocks in the practice facility five minutes ahead and treating any and all injuries with bloodletting-you know, basic crotchety old man stuff. I’ve no doubt that when he was first told that players were kneeling during the anthems his gut reaction was to foam at the mouth.

Injuries:

Tom Brady has some stitches in his paw-paw. Will he play? (yes) Will he wear a glove? (maybe) Will it affect his game? (no) Do I like question marks? (most assuredly)

Stratergizering:

Rumour has it that Adele would like to see Jalen Ramsay on the Gronkster but the Jags D usually covers te’s with a safety (Church/Gipson) or Myles Jack. Besides the fact that Ramsey is out-weighed by a good fifty pounds, what of Brandin Cooks? I can’t see the Jags pulling something special out of their game plan hat today.

Here’s a Problem:

Their names are Hurns, Westbrook, Cole and Lee. That’s not the name of a law firm, that’s the Jags receiving corpse. If the team falls behind by two scores it’s not going to be pretty. That said, I think the speedy Westbrook just might grab a TD on some sort of trickery dickery dock.

Old Adage is old:

War. Won. Trenches. You know how it goes but if Jacksonville’s d-line of Ngakoue, (another strip-sack maybe?) Campbell, Jackson, Dareus and Fowler play as they have been recently the timing that Brady & Co. depend so much upon will be jiggered and they’ll be out of their comfort zone.

Have at ‘er darlings-it’s all yours now.

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Duchess

I’m looking forward to the Blake Bortles cameo on next season of The Good Place.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

That’ll be some forkin’ great shirt.

fleshwound_NPG

we haven’t had an elite bortscramble yet

Horatio Cornblower

I did not see that coming. When will the Patriots and Tom Brady finally get a break from the officials?

blaxabbath

Looks like whoever makes the payouts to the refs don’t fall under White House staffers considered ‘essential’ during the shutdown.

King Hippo

Overall, a very well-officiated contest. Myles Jack is a bad muthafucka, remember that pick last week…

Dick E. Phuck

Keep going, I’m almost there.

JustStopDude

Clearly this falls under the tuck rule and should result in a 10 pt conversion for the Pats.

No one denies this…

Gatoraids

Simmons going to zapruder that review

Old School Zero

You mean his head explodes again and again?

Horatio Cornblower

From your lips to Bleergh’s ears.

LemonJello

Simmons can get fucked with a roll of razor ribbon.

tomsellecksmoustache

Back and to the left. Back and to the left.

Spur

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fleshwound_NPG

FUCK YES

Smithchez

OH SHIT

Old School Zero

comment image

Redshirt

(JR voice)

“What a minute, what’s that? Now wait just a damn minute… My God, King! That’s BLEERGH’s music.”

Redshirt

Holy shit! They upheld it!

blaxabbath

Terrible whistle.

JustStopDude

No because even since its a fumble the offensive players has contact with the player recovering the ball. Its an instant tackle and an easy call to make.

...

If this is ruled a takeaway, that’s a hell of a fucking play by Jack.

King Hippo

There is NO WAY that is overturned.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I wasn’t saying it should have been. Just that I thought they would. It’s in Foxborough.

I’m very happy to be wrong, fwiw.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m telling ya. Prepare your anuses.
This is getting overturned.
I hope I’m wrong.

SonOfSpam

Did the refs consider Dreamboat’s dreaminess?

LemonJello

NFL HQ will call this in favor of Assdick McFuckThis (P*ts ball).

ThePirateSloth

HOLY FUCK THAT ACTUALLY GOT CALLED AGAINST THE PATS

tomsellecksmoustache

Oh, my pants can’t take anymore of this.

...

JACK’D OFF

The Maestro

I am going to die

King Hippo

He touched him down with his foot. That was the call.

Spur

i dont know. i think it’s Pats ball. God, i hope am wrong.

Smithchez

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Although it will be reviewed, overturned, and the Pats will be given an extra ten yards for their trouble.

Horatio Cornblower

This is getting reversed.

TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!!

herodotus450

After further review, the pass was incomplete

Dick E. Phuck

Intentional grounding, Jacksonville.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Now that’s getting Jacked.
Fo fucking shure.

Gon’ be overturned tho. Shit.

King Hippo

YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

blaxabbath

“That was gonna be play of the year on offense”?

I don’t think so.

JustStopDude

So if Bortles pulls this out and wins the Superbowl or something…he ends up being really annoying on ESPN right?

He becomes the next Dilfer…

Gratliff

JACKIN’ OFF

Clipboard Jesus

JACKED!!

fleshwound_NPG

WUT!!!!!!!!!!???????????

Mr. Ayo

TURNOVER!

Spur

turnover???????

...

….wuhhhh?

Petronel

WTF

Gratliff

THAT’S A FUCKING FUMBLE

litre_cola

HOLY SHIT!!!!

Dick E. Phuck

THAT’S A GODDAMN FUMBLE.

Horatio Cornblower

Just back in from walking the dog. The Pats start coming back and he’s getting a second walk.

King Hippo

uh….Cooks can’t be wide open no more. CHRIST

makeitsnowondem

Also congratulations to Darren Sproles, the Doug Flutie Manlet of the Year.

Dick E. Phuck

It seems Gronk is out of the game. He must leave, for no raisin.

Gatoraids

Special protocol to diagnose gronk with concussion vs normal state

Spur

KIl kill the Dreamboat.

Petronel

Gronk concussed. There ya go.

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