Your “We Are All Jags Fans Today” AFC Championship Game Open Thread

Are you ready? Last Sunday was oh-so-glorious and I’m not sure how it can be topped but the bowels of my being are telling me it will be. Perhaps that’s last night’s chili talking, I’ve no idea. What the heckfire am I waiting for? TO THE GAME!

Jacksonville/New England:

Some football fans down Florida way are talking about The Coughlin Effect transforming this team. “So what is The Coughlin Effect?”, you may ask. Well, as a Giants fan I can tell you it involves not wearing hats in meetings, setting the clocks in the practice facility five minutes ahead and treating any and all injuries with bloodletting-you know, basic crotchety old man stuff. I’ve no doubt that when he was first told that players were kneeling during the anthems his gut reaction was to foam at the mouth.

Injuries:

Tom Brady has some stitches in his paw-paw. Will he play? (yes) Will he wear a glove? (maybe) Will it affect his game? (no) Do I like question marks? (most assuredly)

Stratergizering:

Rumour has it that Adele would like to see Jalen Ramsay on the Gronkster but the Jags D usually covers te’s with a safety (Church/Gipson) or Myles Jack. Besides the fact that Ramsey is out-weighed by a good fifty pounds, what of Brandin Cooks? I can’t see the Jags pulling something special out of their game plan hat today.

Here’s a Problem:

Their names are Hurns, Westbrook, Cole and Lee. That’s not the name of a law firm, that’s the Jags receiving corpse. If the team falls behind by two scores it’s not going to be pretty. That said, I think the speedy Westbrook just might grab a TD on some sort of trickery dickery dock.

Old Adage is old:

War. Won. Trenches. You know how it goes but if Jacksonville’s d-line of Ngakoue, (another strip-sack maybe?) Campbell, Jackson, Dareus and Fowler play as they have been recently the timing that Brady & Co. depend so much upon will be jiggered and they’ll be out of their comfort zone.

Have at ‘er darlings-it’s all yours now.

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King Hippo

might as well let the assdicks in now

Duchess

This Guy Miles Jack… i call him twitter because hes letting a few white nationalists run wild.

Dick E. Phuck

I can’t take this bullshit.

...

You know why I hate the NFL? Because no one can figure out how to beat the fucking Patriots with any consistency.

Gratliff

*Eli looks up from his copy of Highlights*

...

Yes, a fucking dipshit savant can do it somehow.

The Maestro

THAT’S A CATCH

Horatio Cornblower

I think that was clearly a catch, so it probably wasn’t.

King Hippo

they should just nuke that stadium

Old School Zero

NOT A CATCH.

But it’ll stand.

ThePirateSloth

I hate everything

blaxabbath

Listen to that crowd cheering for the economy!

makeitsnowondem

Pats are gonna leave Bortles too much time.

DontHair

Lol

Petronel

OK, Romo making some hilarious noises there

herodotus450

He learned a lot from Jessica Simpson

Romonobyl

It’s usually the sound of bones snapping.

DontHair

Thank god im not a gambler.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well at least Jacksonville will have enough time for Bortles to throw a desperation backbreaking pick.

King Hippo

sound off

Horatio Cornblower

So Jacksonville’s strategy is run up the middle for 1 yard to chew some clock, then throw two incompletions to chew up no time?

That’s a bold strategy.

theeWeeBabySeamus

P*ts need to turn it over. Otherwise this one is done.

Romonobyl

It wish it wasn’t happening…but it’s happening.

LemonJello

Pick six.
Pick six.
Pick six.
Pick six.
Pick six.
Pick six.
Pick six.

Please?

Duchess

Game ending pick 6 please

Dick E. Phuck

FUCK

herodotus450

I KNOW I’ve seen that motion get called a fair catch by refs in previous games, even though it’s clearly now the players intent.

The Maestro

FUCKING FINISH THEM, PATS. DO IT NOW.

Smithchez

Jesus, Jaguras. You could not possibly fuck this thing up more to the script than you are.

Spur

i hate football.

ThePirateSloth

Uggggggggggggggggggggggggggh

Redshirt

Heck of a job, Stillers. Way to give the Pats a pissed off Harrison.

Gratliff

g’fuh

...

Ahahaha we’re fucked.

King Hippo

21 yards net on the punt

Gratliff

The Steelers fuck us one more time

...

OH I FUCKING HATE JAMES HARRISON WHY CAN’T HIS BRAIN GET CTE’D INTO MUSH?!

Wakezilla

It is. So is Dan Foutes’ brain

blaxabbath

Oh it will….

Petronel

Probably already has – give it 20 years. Less, even.

Dick E. Phuck

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?!

King Hippo

goddamnit

Horatio Cornblower

Bortles isn’t good, you guys.

Duchess

Guys all this running on 1st is just all set up for the play action on 1st down 3 games from now.

blaxabbath

They’re already looking ahead to preseason week 2.

Duchess

Exactly

blaxabbath

Does Bortles know how to progress through reads?

Duchess

His cone of vision is still pretty small he hasnt leveled it up in the offseason yet.

Wakezilla

No

King Hippo

what happened to throwing to the backs in the flat?

Smithchez

STOP RUNNING UP THE MIDDLE ON FIRST DOWN

for fuck’s sake

herodotus450

Or just run up the middle on all 3 downs

King Hippo

STOP THAT BULLSHIT

tomsellecksmoustache

One more field goal Blake.

blaxabbath

Who saw that coming?!

SonOfSpam

Jags gonna win
Jags gonna win
Jags gonna win

/strokes dog-eared copy of The Secret

Wakezilla

Do NOT jinx them

Horatio Cornblower

Ok, now call me crazy, but I’m willing to bet a substantial amount of money that the Jags’ first play here will be a hand-off.

King Hippo

alright, you can’t give ’em the ball back unless you score 7 first

theeWeeBabySeamus

Now, chew some fucking clock up FFS.

blaxabbath

If NE loses, i May stream their post game call in show.

litre_cola

Ok Bort, don’t do anything stupid here.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hold my beer.

-Bort

Smithchez

NE FLAG PAS