Your “We Are All Jags Fans Today” AFC Championship Game Open Thread

Are you ready? Last Sunday was oh-so-glorious and I’m not sure how it can be topped but the bowels of my being are telling me it will be. Perhaps that’s last night’s chili talking, I’ve no idea. What the heckfire am I waiting for? TO THE GAME!

Jacksonville/New England:

Some football fans down Florida way are talking about The Coughlin Effect transforming this team. “So what is The Coughlin Effect?”, you may ask. Well, as a Giants fan I can tell you it involves not wearing hats in meetings, setting the clocks in the practice facility five minutes ahead and treating any and all injuries with bloodletting-you know, basic crotchety old man stuff. I’ve no doubt that when he was first told that players were kneeling during the anthems his gut reaction was to foam at the mouth.

Injuries:

Tom Brady has some stitches in his paw-paw. Will he play? (yes) Will he wear a glove? (maybe) Will it affect his game? (no) Do I like question marks? (most assuredly)

Stratergizering:

Rumour has it that Adele would like to see Jalen Ramsay on the Gronkster but the Jags D usually covers te’s with a safety (Church/Gipson) or Myles Jack. Besides the fact that Ramsey is out-weighed by a good fifty pounds, what of Brandin Cooks? I can’t see the Jags pulling something special out of their game plan hat today.

Here’s a Problem:

Their names are Hurns, Westbrook, Cole and Lee. That’s not the name of a law firm, that’s the Jags receiving corpse. If the team falls behind by two scores it’s not going to be pretty. That said, I think the speedy Westbrook just might grab a TD on some sort of trickery dickery dock.

Old Adage is old:

War. Won. Trenches. You know how it goes but if Jacksonville’s d-line of Ngakoue, (another strip-sack maybe?) Campbell, Jackson, Dareus and Fowler play as they have been recently the timing that Brady & Co. depend so much upon will be jiggered and they’ll be out of their comfort zone.

Have at ‘er darlings-it’s all yours now.

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Spur

nice FG.

King Hippo

whew

blaxabbath

Josh Lambo, Quotables Hall of Famer.

Redemption.

tomsellecksmoustache

4nette brought down by his own linemen

Gratliff

Oh my god
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blaxabbath

What is this business?

tomsellecksmoustache

Rub some aerosol cheese on it and get back in there!

Smithchez

I get it, Jaguras. Running on first down has been the strategy. But you don’t need to run on EVERY first down.

blaxabbath

Hey! Are YOU leading in this game?!

makeitsnowondem

Hey man, they threw a screen pass once. I don’t know what more you want.

Old School Zero

“Blake Bortles is playing the game of the year!” …against a very poorly rated defense.

ThePirateSloth

Keep giving it to muthafuckin Yeldon, just like last week.

fleshwound_NPG

and neo-tiny darren, like the 1st half

...

/takes deep breath

IS BORTLES ELITE?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!

Old School Zero

I, for one, have never doubted the skills of Beck Bottle

makeitsnowondem

Blart Beckinsale is a gamer. He knows how to win.

...

Boobings Buxomton is a generation talent.

LemonJello

You mean Brad Bartles?

LemonJello

He’s one of the two best quarterbacks playing right now.

King Hippo

BORT is keeping his head in the game better than Dreamboat. NOBODY DENIES THIS

blaxabbath

Better than Gronk anyways.

Mr. Ayo

BORST DOWN

blaxabbath

“That check down pass….wow. This is Bortles game of the year!”

fleshwound_NPG

[nods]

– joe flacco

Smithchez

Dinked and dunked to death

blaxabbath

I hope they bust out some Wildcat.

Spur

Yeldon! there is fight in these Jags

fleshwound_NPG

young yeldonfirst

King Hippo

way to do a thing, BORT/Yeldon!

Smithchez

Yikes, this playcalling.

Spur

Pats just got flattened.

King Hippo

#UnleashTehWhitey

theeWeeBabySeamus

Inorite?

– S. Carolina

blaxabbath

So I got I’m very bad shape in ‘17. As the Mrs is now pregnant, a friend of hers goes to this Crossfit gym and they have a trainer gal whose like specialty is training knocked up gals. Long story short, I went the last two mornings and now my legs are shot to shit so I’m going to get high.

THAT JUSTIFICATION ENOUGH FOR MY DRUG USE, HIPPO?!

King Hippo

survey sezzzzz…

chuh chuh

Gratliff
fleshwound_NPG

gritfirst

Smithchez

The one true T-BO

tomsellecksmoustache

‘Which no one disputes…” *raises hand*

blaxabbath

Everyone tells me in theory that there is no dispute!

Bugg

How many fingers Rob?

Vodka tonic, tires, lightbulb?

HE’S GOOD!

clint greasewood

Realistically, how do you even evaluate Gronk for a concussion?

Doctor: “What number comes between 68 and 70?”

Gronk: “69!”

Doctor: “My favorite type of boat is…”

Gronk: “PARTY BOAT”

Rave music intensifies

Doctor: “He’s clear”

Spur

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Fronkenshteen

Regrettably, I’m at work. Were the unnecessary roughness & PI calls legit on the pats’ TD drive (he asked, expecting the answer “no”)?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

UR=yes, PI=no.

hippofant

Yeah. Bouye had Cooks well and pinned to the sideline, cut off his route. Looks like Cook tried to drive back through Bouye into the field, Bouye had none of it, and was flagged for not just giving ground.

Duchess

Every time I see Greg Olson I just think… FUCK YOU MIKE MARTZ!

Spur

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clint greasewood
fleshwound_NPG
blaxabbath

I didn’t know that guy was still around.

Then again, I’m not in the northeast where the only influences allowed are loudest pricks in the biggest cities accessible by Amtrak.

fleshwound_NPG
blaxabbath

#releasethememos

blaxabbath

Centurylink: You know better than to trust us but you can trust us!

Col. Duke LaCross

*Advertised speeds may not be available in any area

fleshwound_NPG

toyota camrys will never see over 60 mph

Spur

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tomsellecksmoustache

Judging by them thighs, they ain’t starving on that island.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, time to get hammered so I can come up with creative cussing in the 2nd half when the officials rips the Jags’ hearts out.

LemonJello

Seems corporate told Nance and Romo to work the shaft and balls a little more for TB and his merry band of assholes…

Mr. Ayo

They’re not even going to try with 2 timeouts? Idiots.

Redshirt

The Refs are in full Pats mode. Best to go to Halftime and let the refs calm down.

clint greasewood
Gratliff

FUCKING KNEEL DOWN WITH 60 SECONDS TO GO!?

blaxabbath

Refs are just looking for an excuse to put that ball in Brady’s hands with fifteen timeouts.

blaxabbath

Well there’s the confidence in Bortles!

Bugg

The refs are heard from. Disgraceful PI.

King Hippo

this is WEAK

Spur

Pat’s vs Geno’s

Horatio Cornblower

Absolutely no one talking to Phil Simms on the half-time set.

There’s a shock

tomsellecksmoustache

2018 and we’re still doing Lil’ Sweet…

Duchess

You can cut the sexual tension between Clay and Aaron with a knife

JustStopDude

That PI was call was bullshit. Since the receiver ran out of bounds, he cannot be the first person to catch the ball or its a penalty.

At the point he runs out of bounds, PI can no longer be called in that situation.

blaxabbath

Oh yeah?! RELEASE THE MEMO!`o

litre_cola

Gronk will just go back to the dressing room and crush some Tide Pods.

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