Dogs are great.
I have much more respect and love for dogs than I do for most humans. Yes, I stand by that statement.
Tonight, live on FS1 beginning at 8pmEST, is the 142nd Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. And you’re damn well gonna watch it.
Wanna know why you’re gonna watch it? Because you’re all a bunch of perverts who love dogs (no not like that). And leading up to this year’s edition of the dog show is a retrospective highlight show of 2016’s WKC Dog Show beginning at 7pmEST on FS1. Which according to my teevee box is being hosted by one Katie Nolan…for some reason…



(something something doggy style something something)
But right now, I know you perverts are changing your channels just to get a look at her. Because you’re perverts, just like me. You’re also drunkards, just like me. So by the time the actual dog show begins at 8pm, you’ll be too drunk to figure out how to change the channel. Which is fine.
Dogs are great. And the competition will be fierce.

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Night One Tonight

Tonight, beginning at 8pmEST is the first half. Tonight it’s the Hounds, Toys, Non-Sporting and Herding breeds…
Hounds: Yes the Weiner Dog (aka Dachshund) is in this group. Not surprisingly, tWBS has made a lot of money doing back surgery on these little genetic misfits. So, we like them.

Toys: If you have to have a little dog, the Pug or the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel is the way to go.

Non-Sporting: Some good choices here. Also some bad. The English Bulldog and the French Bulldog are probably my favs. The Boston Terrier is cool too. But I swear on my mother’s life, do not ever get a Shiba Inu. I’ve never yet met one of those assholes I didn’t want to euthanize on sight.

Herding: Lotsa good dogs here. Hard to make a bad choice. But my favorite, if I have to make a choice, is the Border Collie. These guys are smarter than most humans, and with a much better temperament, too!!!!!!

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Night Two Tomorrow

Tomorrow (Tuesday) will be night #2. It will include the Sporting, Terrier and Working breeds. And will then culminate with Best in Show, of course.
Sporting: Again, a lot of good choices and a lot of bad. If you ever want to own a Wiemaraner or a German Shorthaired Pointer, then you should have your head examined. But there are a lot of good ones here too, Including the Golden Retriever and the Labrador Retriever. Both personal favorites of tWBS. But for my money, go with the Chesapeake Bay Retriever. They are some gentle yet badass mofos. No shit. Basically a Chocolate Lab with easier grooming and less stupidity and a slight chip on their shoulder.

Terriers: A rather diverse group. And most of them can be yuuuuuuge assholes. I can respect that. My favorite from this group is likely one most of you have never heard of. The Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier. These are great dogs. I’ve never met one yet that wasn’t pretty damned awesome. The Airedale is pretty good too. But like most terriers, occasionally you have to kick an Airedale in the head to keep them in line.

Working Dogs: My favs, if I’m being honest. These are some badass bitches. It’s difficult for me to pick a favorite, so in no particular order….



Honorable Mention:

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Other Non-Canine Viewables
NHL
No national telecasts. Check your locals.
NBA
- Knicks at Sixers – 7pmEST – TV: NBATV
NCAAB
Top25 on TV:
- Notre Dame at (14)U*NC – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPN
- TCU at (20)WVU – 9:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2
You can also watch the Olympics I guess. But I don’t think there will be any dogs involved. Meh.
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Every Dog Has His Day





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