Dogs are great.
I have much more respect and love for dogs than I do for most humans. Yes, I stand by that statement.
Tonight, live on FS1 beginning at 8pmEST, is the 142nd Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. And you’re damn well gonna watch it.
Wanna know why you’re gonna watch it? Because you’re all a bunch of perverts who love dogs (no not like that). And leading up to this year’s edition of the dog show is a retrospective highlight show of 2016’s WKC Dog Show beginning at 7pmEST on FS1. Which according to my teevee box is being hosted by one Katie Nolan…for some reason…
(something something doggy style something something)
But right now, I know you perverts are changing your channels just to get a look at her. Because you’re perverts, just like me. You’re also drunkards, just like me. So by the time the actual dog show begins at 8pm, you’ll be too drunk to figure out how to change the channel. Which is fine.
Dogs are great. And the competition will be fierce.
–
Night One Tonight
Tonight, beginning at 8pmEST is the first half. Tonight it’s the Hounds, Toys, Non-Sporting and Herding breeds…
Hounds: Yes the Weiner Dog (aka Dachshund) is in this group. Not surprisingly, tWBS has made a lot of money doing back surgery on these little genetic misfits. So, we like them.
Toys: If you have to have a little dog, the Pug or the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel is the way to go.
Non-Sporting: Some good choices here. Also some bad. The English Bulldog and the French Bulldog are probably my favs. The Boston Terrier is cool too. But I swear on my mother’s life, do not ever get a Shiba Inu. I’ve never yet met one of those assholes I didn’t want to euthanize on sight.
Herding: Lotsa good dogs here. Hard to make a bad choice. But my favorite, if I have to make a choice, is the Border Collie. These guys are smarter than most humans, and with a much better temperament, too!!!!!!
–
Night Two Tomorrow
Tomorrow (Tuesday) will be night #2. It will include the Sporting, Terrier and Working breeds. And will then culminate with Best in Show, of course.
Sporting: Again, a lot of good choices and a lot of bad. If you ever want to own a Wiemaraner or a German Shorthaired Pointer, then you should have your head examined. But there are a lot of good ones here too, Including the Golden Retriever and the Labrador Retriever. Both personal favorites of tWBS. But for my money, go with the Chesapeake Bay Retriever. They are some gentle yet badass mofos. No shit. Basically a Chocolate Lab with easier grooming and less stupidity and a slight chip on their shoulder.
Terriers: A rather diverse group. And most of them can be yuuuuuuge assholes. I can respect that. My favorite from this group is likely one most of you have never heard of. The Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier. These are great dogs. I’ve never met one yet that wasn’t pretty damned awesome. The Airedale is pretty good too. But like most terriers, occasionally you have to kick an Airedale in the head to keep them in line.
Working Dogs: My favs, if I’m being honest. These are some badass bitches. It’s difficult for me to pick a favorite, so in no particular order….
Honorable Mention:
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Other Non-Canine Viewables
NHL
No national telecasts. Check your locals.
NBA
- Knicks at Sixers – 7pmEST – TV: NBATV
NCAAB
Top25 on TV:
- Notre Dame at (14)U*NC – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPN
- TCU at (20)WVU – 9:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2
You can also watch the Olympics I guess. But I don’t think there will be any dogs involved. Meh.
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Every Dog Has His Day
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Old English Sheepdog! “Mornin Sam” “Mornin Ralph”
Marrying material right there.
Prime rib beef curtains.
That dude needs to sharpen his knife. That’s too much struggle for a piece of meat.
That’s NOT WHAT SHE SAID!.
*He’s probably just hungry; it’s still hot, get ‘er done, let’s eat.
I’ll take two of the pink
Smooth Collie:
Pure evil. Throw that thing in down a mineshaft.
Wait a god damn minute! I really like Sigourney Weaver!
Dammit I have GOT to learn to type faster!
I don’t know, I thought she was pretty good in Ghostbusters.
Well now that the pug made it , I suppose I have to watch tomorrow.
/was going to do it anyway. Hang out with Oxipug while he is drugged up.
How are….things?
Yeah, I was wondering how the visit went too.
Well, huge improvement. Was coughing like he had smoked 3 packs a day. Took some stuff, and hasn’t coughed since. Hopefully it helps his trachea and he makes it past 11 years! I feel much better than I did this morning that is for sure. His time is coming and I am not ready to accept it.
Good. Dogs should be around forever. NO ONE DENIES THIS.
Reach out if you need to.
You know how to find me.
/wafts chili fart due East
Not what I meant, but still appreciate the effort.
Did you smell it yet?
He’s the one with Cheeto dust on his dick.
Not some rookie who eats Doritos, BTW.
Yikes. Collie shoulda got a teeth cleaning before the show.
Tartar isn’t sexy.
Counterpoint:
I have an old joke about tartar sauce.
But even this crowd can’t handle it I think.
I’ll tell you in May.
Not wrapped in actual newspaper.
2/10. Still would eat
Seriously guys….while dogs are great….
Dog show judges are generally arrogant assholes. I really want to see this old prick get bitten.
C’mon Corgi, bite that old fucker!!!!!!
Something Prince Charles has said weekly for about 50 years.
Hehehehehe
Canaan Dog – a good dog, and enjoys getting kibble on sale.
Also long walks, many sniffing stops, please.
Bouviers are great dogs too, btw
Stupid sexy Bouvier de Flandres
A dog named “Faggia”
Yep, nope. Never had a chance.
“Good boy”
– Aaron R.
I’d be very happy if one of these dogs would bite the “Woodhouse” judge.
This dude needs to retire already and go to the GILF cam.
Just let him OD for Allah’s sake.
What’s great about her is that she might give one a good-natured pity screw.
I’m not too proud to accept that, fwiw.
Call me.
Well, that’s great; I’d only take about seventeen seconds, so it wouldn’t involve any effort…. maybe even just finish the moment I heard about it. “Oh YES I WOOOO….uld…… never mind.”
Yep, she’d never feel a thing.
Run side to side to make contact….. this line works for small penis joke OR your mom’s vagina is so big joke.
YAY Belgian Malinois! (Ours is a mix and very good and very insane and very good)
First dwarf in the bitcoin mines in Toronto, Canada (circa 2018).
So the new trend of infecting websites with javascript to steal your process cycles for coin mining has been dubbed cryptojacking, and I’ve been laughing every time I think of the word. This isn’t especially relevant. I just really love that they went with “cryptojacking”.
Wow, learned something here; I thought it was a reaction of some when the price went up.
Kittehs: 1 Poachers: 0
https://nypost.com/2018/02/12/suspected-poacher-killed-eaten-by-pack-of-lions/
.
Sharing is a foreign concept to most canines.
So a woman of Asian descent wins gold for the USA.
This is when I can say “AMERICA…FUCK YEAH!!!” and actually mean it.
Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightly….. hummmmmm.
They’re awfully skinny to have to be coated in flour.
Ummm, okaaaaay.
Da fuq?
Try again…
I second this.
Dueling banjos has changed over the years
https://video.twimg.com/tweet_video/DV4lEgvWkAAOzk5.mp4
Today’s BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUN news:
Some breeds have tendencies and behavioral characteristics that manifest themselves to varying degrees, the biggest factor in my experience is the owner; whether they be assholes, neglecters, or spoilers who let the dog be the pack alpha those dogs are usually assholes because they don’t know proper structure and consistency, which they strive for and desire instinctively. The exception being just like humans; there are some that are just wired wrong. In my experience if you meet a cool dog, most likely someone in his/ her pack is cool. IMNSHO.
I have a large German Shepard mix, fairly alpha female (size, teeth, and technique to back it up). She is the best. If I was younger and more of a social person she’d also be a great wing-dog to pick up de women. Unfortunately a large percentage are in the Roy Moore taste range. Best talent; shedding.
She likes to play and some medium size dogs don’t quite understand; when someone twice your size starts pulling you around you’d be a bit nervous too.
That dog is Italian.
Fortunately he’s not Korean.
While German, and not sexually aggressive she may well have learned this behavior from Federico Fellini movies, which in hindsight I never should have let her watch. Especially 8-1/2.
You are correct, Sir.
The part you talked about humans; growing up my grandparents had a ranch and I remember the dogs’ and cats’ names and personalities much better than any childhood human friends.
Ditto.
And your point about the Pack is spot on. Most doggie behaviour issues come from their people not getting the pack mentality and how to deal with their dogs.
You are correct, especially the babe-magnet part. I’ll take my Shepherd to Home Depot and other puppy friendly places all the time and he never fails to draw a crowd. Of course it is either little kids or their great-grandparents, but every now and then something in the middle happens by and thinks he’s such a pretty dog! I, of course, barely exist, but I can’t blame them. I wish I had one of these 25 years ago!
I knew shockingly casual racism was a Boston thing, but I didn’t realize it extended up to New Hampshire, too, where my mom was born.
She just asked me if my wife – whose last name is Kim – is related to Chloe Kim.
Well?
I want to laugh at this, but I don’t want to admit to laughing at this.
Act like you are coughing.
That’s just silly.
But she is related to my old Econ Professor, right?
http://web.sonoma.edu/uaffairs/media/experts/kim_chong.html
Well, could be……..
Chloe Kim won a gold medal and she’s not even a Kardashian.
Pug. Excellent.
The least objectionable of the toy breeds. Excellent choice for victor.
*Pugxcellent.
Woman’s luge on NBCSN. Fortunately no wrecks so far, brings a new meaning to the term “stubbing your toe”.
The Pekingese is just a sentient tribble. The definition of a useless dog.
Also, the Affenpinscher named Emmitt is way smarter than Emmitt Smith.
I have no love for purse dogs. They’re animals, not accessories.
“Meow oink moo!” — dog Emmitt Smith
“Al Franken got caught being an Affenpinscher, that’s why he had to resign from the Senators.” -Emmitt Smith
Watching the women’s halfpipe. Australian rider just ate it big time. I mean, literally ate it. I though I saw her mouth bleeding.
BAM! She ain’t pretty no more.
She’ll heal up…just fine……
Scars are sexy.
I want a Brussels Griffin. It looks like a shaved wookie.
https://gizmodo.com/why-purebred-dogs-are-sick-miserable-and-ugly-1822881312
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/YxodC
Yeah doggos!
Toy group best group
To think I used to like you…
Haha, only because I am a pug guy. Family has had them for years,and Oxipug is getting on in age. The ‘real’ dogs we had were pointers and beagles.
Consider yourself pardoned, do carry on.
Alright, time for WVU to put me in a bad mood again.
No German Shepherd competing this year in the Herding Group, apparently he has a hematoma in his ear so had to bow-wow out (see what I did there?). No GSD, no dog show as far as we’re concerned.
This was our first Shep, he was 8 years old when this was taken, and we lost him shortly after due to cancer. We had no warning, we took him to the vet because he wasn’t eating much, only to find his spleen had burst and surgery showed cancer everywhere. He had to be put down right there. That was about two years ago, a night my family won’t forget anytime soon. He was a great dog and I was surprised how upset I got after he died, never had the loss of a pet hit me so hard.
Hope I didn’t put a downer on the thread. To end on a good note we do have a new overpriced Shepherd and he’s the typical little shit. Hopefully he’ll mellow out soon. Back to the dick jokes!!!
OK, settle down there Goebbels.
Beautiful dog tho, sincerely. Sorry it went that way.
That is sadly one of their breed’s health things.
But still, beautiful dog.
Thanks, he was an awesome animal. He could roughhouse with you and not leave so much as a scratch, but was capable of flattening an inflated basketball with one bite.
Respect the choppers.
?It better be Goebbels n bits n bits n bits n bits?
Especially weird since Fox Sports basically fired Katie Nolan but didn’t want to actually fire her, so they just cancelled all her shows and then espn hired her?
.
So I’m getting DFO Radio ready and I was looking at that first Katie Nolan gif on a look against Real Life’s “Send Me an Angel”. Very apt.
This lady is curling right now:
She’s gonna hurry your hard-on right onto her button whether you like it or not.
You are right about the Airedale, you do have to kick them in the head occasionally to show who’s boss but they are extremely loyal and tough as nails, we always had one growing up. Great snake dogs, even have a distinctive bark when they find one. I learned to stay away when I heard that bark, damn dog almost wrapped a copper head around my neck one night when I went out to see what he had gotten a hold of.
Irony is deep as I am at the vet with Oxipug right now.
🙁
It’s getting near to that time gentlemen…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pes91XdfJsM
https://www.brewbound.com/news/stone-brewing-files-lawsuit-millercoors-stone-trademark
I’m rooting for Stone, my hometown brewery in this. Go get em!
So you people all agree that Tessa Virtue sounds like it should be the name of a comic strip character’s (Dick Tracy or maybe Gil Thorpe) girlfriend, right?
WHERE ALL MY BITCHES AT??
FS1 sir, and please don’t yell.
Love is a four-letter word, a battlefield, a Commentist, but love is not a porn star! Well, it can be, I guess.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EwvmpFC1Fo