Time to get the sads for the cornucopia coming to a close. Real life beckons soon, unless you have a six-shootin’ pistol and are ready to leave (h/t, Strumbellas):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpWpD8axxzA
#9(S) Kansas State (+1, -105) v. #8(S)Creighton (6:50, TNT)
Hey, you want anonymous? This match will give you some anonymous. I think Creigh-Creigh is better coached, and has showed some flashes of upside, so I gives ’em the slightest of edge.
#14(MW) Bucknell (+13.5, +750) v. #3(MW) Michigan State (7:10, CBS)
Ninja, please!
#16(W) Texas Southern (+19, N/A) v. #1(W) Xavier (7:20, TBS)
Mike Davis will find these Jesuits more like his first 13 foes than Wednesday night’s easygoing Central folk. It will be a good tourney for the Queen City (garbage chili varietal).
#13(MW) College of Charleston (+10, +435) v. #4(MW) Auburn (7:27, truTV)
FUCK YOU, who said you can drop “College of” from your name? NAWT Hippo. Auburn is one of those nice “out of nowhere” stories that seems to be coming apart at the end. Methinks they will sputter through one game, but Clemson will smack them good. Over-popular upset pick here.
#16(S) Maryland-Baltimore County (+20, N/A) v. #1(S) Virginia (9:20, TNT)
DO NOT BET the dog here. Wahoowa will be out to make a statement, and we shall see how Retrievers are at fetching they own jocks.
#11(MW) Syracuse (+5, +180) v. #6(MW) TCU (9:40, CBS)
Offer thine blood FOAR the Bloodeyes’ god, because with the Bonnies shitting the bed, it is up to L’Orange to carry on the tradition of at least one play-in piece of flotsam doing some damage. And ain’t nobody (but Scotchy) got time for that.
#9(W) Florida State v. #8(W) Missouri (+2, +115) (9:50, TBS)
The Seminoles are the only favoured 9-seed, and I agree. Much is made of Mizzou’s uber-hyped freshman coming back from injury for the tourney…but he still played in the SEC tournament loss to UGA, didn’t he? Full health and chemistry remain open questions, plus FSU is just better and deeper. Unless they are having one of their off nights – the reason they fell to such a low seed to begin with.
#12(MW) New Mexico State (+4.5, +170) v. #5(MW) Clemson (9:57, truTV)
Speaking of over-hyped upsets – everybody is aboard the “Clemson flops” train but me. I see a legitimate Final Four contender. Not that the Aggies aren’t a dangerous 12 seed – they most definitely are, but rather Clemson is a focused and dogged opponent, who gave UVA a real scare in the ACCT semis.
THIS UMBC, I CALL THE MY LAI MASSACRE BECAUSE THEY JUST BRUTALLY AND QUICKLY DESTROYED MY BRACKET AS IF I WERE A 5 YEAR OLD CHILD.
God. Damn.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
I somehow didn’t process until just now that a team of Baltimorons beats the shit out of those elitist assholes on the wrong side of the Potomac.
That’s fucking awesome!
Kitteh!1!!!1!!
Back when things were made of steel:
Fucking space dudes from Planet X are assholes.
To be fair, McCabe was a piece of shit who deserves neck AIDS. Fuck that scumbag
https://twitter.com/UMBCAthletics/status/974837478103441409
Albany, 83-39 UMBC.
That was how bad UMBC lost like a couple of months ago. I cannot express to people that don’t follow this team how bad this team was at parts of this season.
Also…Roanoke times had the team listed as UBMC.
Fucking Philistines…
LMFAO…..holy shit that’s fucking funny!!!!!!!!!
LIke seriously…I was getting ready to jerk off. And now I can’t because I’m laughing.
Dick move, bro.
Wow, that snake pic really did it for you, eh?
LOL, can’t blame the snake.
– B. Clinton
It took me a while because I went on a porn expedition looking for something different from the usual nonsense, but I did it twice so I got your back.
And I’m not exaggerating. This might be the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
Then again, I’m still very very high.
But still, it could be both things.
See Rick Astley below.
Fun fact: Macaulay is Paris Jackson’s godfather. That was a shock the first time I saw her mention that on her instagram.
Just a reminder….
Beating the Chinese means nothing if we do it by going around shooting guys in the dick.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBCDY5XhZng
Another reminder:
Who has two thumbs and has led the DFO bracket since the start?
Hint: Me
UVa killed me. Oh well.
This could only be better if it was dated 2/14
Who else heard that in their head as Lil John’s voice?
Totally worth it, I think.
In their defense, you’re already dead on the inside.
Could you spread your pussy for us?
Margarine?! FOR SHAME!
LMFAO….I was expecting him to hit the still rolled up window and bounce off. Hoping for that even.
I’m an asshole.
Fine, I’ll put the tape back on my front facing camera.
Pervert.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Txj1Y-IiUw8
Why is Roger Goodell in the ring back there?
Woohoo! Team that’s ostensibly the one I support yet am getting sick of doesn’t have the absolute worst fans!
Coast to Coast, indeed.
So, are we gonna hear a story tomorrow about the one guy who bet like $10k or something on UMBC cause he’s an alum, or does that guy not exist?
He does not.
Per ESPN, no one picks UMBC, including the dean.
Just wanted to check in. ‘Night everybody, and sweet dreams, especially in Charlottesville.
I think a similar machine folds my panties when I send them to the laundry service
Well, I guess that explains the buttery flavor.
Way late, but that was funny.
Still drunk…still wide awake…
I seriously don;t know when I am going to go to sleep. HOW THE FUCK DID UMBC WIN!?!?!
They apparently scored more than Virginia.
Wait…UMBC was 16 seed? This is a new thing, yes? The 1 losing first round? Damn, I picked a shitty year to not pay attention. And with a Maryland team upsetting as well!
Yes, and I just got here too. So, this is historic and whatnot.