Be nice to your UVA friends today, they might be just a wee bit touchy… (also feel free to discuss the various flaccid Lesser Footy matchups available on this weekend when all the good sides are in the FA Cup quarters)
#9(E) Alabama (+11, +556) v. #1(E) Villanova (12:10, CBS)
Good news, Roll Damn Tide! You have the best guard in this matchup, Collin Sexton. The bad news? Nova has #s 2-5, perhaps 2-6. That will prove a problem as the 2nd half drags on.
#7(MW) Rhode Island (+9.5, +400) v. #2(MW) Duke (2:40, CBS)
Do you believe, Commentist Party? HIPPO BELIEVES. Matchups are everything in hoopsball, and JV RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! matches Duke’s athleticism, but with much more experience.
#13(S) Buffalo (+5.5, +215) v. #5(S) Kentucky (5:10, CBS)
Hate to piss in everyone’s punch bowl, but the wagon-circling stops here. Kenfucky are for real, and it would seem are on a collision course to meet WKRP in the Elite Eight. Defensing will make all the difference.
#11(S) Loyola-Chi**** (+5.5, +205) v. #3(S) Tennessee (6:10, TNT)
Finally, a non-CBS/channel flipping game! Ramble on, you sweet MO Valley representatives. Sweet Sixteen and Rick Barnes so very rarely mix.
Why the fuck can’t my flights get delayed like this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_XvKcLxj6I
Yes, but is that keg of Bud Light that’s being changed replaced with another keg of Bud Light? Something tells me no.
Do you refuse to eat fried chicken because you find it “uncouth” and insist it’s not for any other reason? The Masters, coming soon.
When I eventually take my rightful place as the ruler of Earth the first thing I’m going to do is scorch Augusta to ash, during Final Sunday.
Yeah, I hate Maine too.
“That battleship had it coming”
-Fidel Castro, maybe
Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams, but Hearst’s dynamite can sink a battleship.
“REMEMBER THE MAIN!” – Andy Reid, concerned that his server might allow too long of a delay after the appetizers have arrived.
Sherman did nothing wrong.
Actually a shit version of the song, and I say that with Joe Strummer one of my heroes, but check out how absolutely shit-faced Shane is while “singing” back-up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbcIKU6i8Ag
Is Shane ever sober?
2 minutes into “Atlanta” – God, I hate white people. And I am constantly amazed at how spot-on this show captures the raw ugliness of the white experience and our rotten souls.
also, Donald Glover is a fucking genius and I want to meet him as much as I do Gillian Jacobs. What a treasure chest of talent Community turned out to be.
That Chevy Chase, I think he could go on to do great things
Yeah, today is totally amateur hour. It’s still important to acknowledge what we’re celebrating.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUVwR0rw5fk
If bama could double their score they’d be way out in front of the Cats.
Have I ever mentioned how much I fookin’ hate Liverpool FC? GOOD!
God. DAMN.
I posted that earlier today. That shit is what Twitter is for.
Damn you and your EST and waking up before 10am.
I got up at 10:30. That’s what happens when you stay up until 2:00 am for reasons that make no sense even to yourself.
I was up until 5:30.
already commented ,, smh
/TJ would be pleased to see NV’s head coach openly miscegeneating, though
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzHGTIPl310
Dylan Thomas reading ‘Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night’.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mRec3VbH3w
https://youtu.be/mTv1Dmu5CYc
time to watch Thursday night’s Atlanta
Old people say weird shit sometimes…
Mom: Do you like beets?
Me: Yeah, they’re ok I guess.
Mom: Well they’re good for your prostate. If you have one.
Me: Well I assume I do, but I’ve never gone up there looking for it.
Mom: We should grow some beets this year.
Me: Fine by me as long as no one goes looking for my prostate.
Oh.
[puts Aneros back in its carrying case.]
James Joyce hisself reading from ‘Ulysses’. (I read the whole damn thing because I had to in college)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhW0TrzWGmI
The banner cheerleader is cute. She deserves a nice lobster dinner and a call the next day.
Also, fuck UVA.
I was waiting FOAR someone to properly notice. No wonder the JV RRRRRRAM IT!! mascot seems to have a chub on, eh?
She represents a State that thinks clear chowder is a thing, and that paved roads are a luxury.
She doesn’t deserve a call during the evening.
Dude. I’m from New Mexico and live in Oregon on a street that hasn’t been repaved since it was originally laid 90 years ago; driving on it is like driving on the moon. I’m not in any position to criticize another state’s poor infrastructure.
As for chowder, what’s the point of eating chowder? You miss all the fun and flavor of shellfish (although peeling/cracking that shit is overrated as an experience).
HOT TAEK: Chowder is shit. ALL OF IT.
Oh look, the guys from New Mexico and North Carolina are commenting on chowder.
/makes dismissive wanking motion until he develops carpal tunnel
Horatio turned into a Travis Kelce gif so gradually I barely even noticed.
“Don’t eat the chowder; Kelce’s been in the kitchen.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYM0JMRPC-A
Damn white people. Charles Haley had the decency to go to completion.
There’s that Nova killer instinct
https://youtu.be/OCbuRA_D3KU
Today needs moar puppies…
Ireland putting a whupping on England in tape-delayed rugby.
That’ll last until the Irish make a stand at the Post Office, foolishly thinking the English would never launch a naval bombardment on their defenses.
today is the day Sessions fires Mueller. i can feel it.
Sessions can’t fire Mueller; he’s recused. He pledge that he’d be recused in any matters regarding to a Clinton probe too, a fact that will undoubtedly come up when McCabe sues for wrongful termination.
not with that spirit.
Since the recusal, Sessions can only fire fellow Keebler elves that are further down the chain. And yes, burning the cookies is a fire-able offense.
i cant keep track, who’s Mueller’s direct Super now?
Deputy AG. Some Jew, I think.
/wrestles the spirit of Nixon out of him
It is indeed full-on war now. No more hiding beyond semi-niceties.
Mmmmmmmm, my coffee burns, and not because it’s hot.
Because you’re pouring it on your gonorrhea-infected urethra?
God you’re a sick puppy.
It can burn for two reasons!
Ouch, chlamydia too? You have my sympathy.
I was originally just gonna say “pouring it on your gonorrhea” but then I said to myself, hey, it’s March Madness, let’s go for the triple.
Baaaang! Wait, Mike Breen does the NBA.
Sideline reporter got her some pipes!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmQj8T1Z2DM
Bag of Llamas keeping it close…
Hit your damn free throws, Tide. They’re FREE!
Well, there’s your problem: African-Americans, “Free” and Alabama are not three things that go together.
sadly, no YT since SNL:
https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/irish-songs/n9892
Have you ever roofied a girl’s Mint Julep? The Masters, coming soon.
The Kentucky Derby would like a word.
When doing the laundry do you refuse to mix the whites and the coloreds based on the principle that they are ‘separate but equal’? The Masters, coming soon.
More like The Master Race, amirite?
Do you genuinely believe “trickle down economics” can solve this country’s financial woes? The Masters, coming soon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mKEyK11GRU
Do you give ‘the help’ a discounted Costco ham at Christmas and expect to be profusely thanked? The Masters, coming soon.
Folks!
I have a bit of a hangover. chorizo mixed with eggs can fix that.
Do you believe that statues of Confederate heroes are actually about celebrating Southern Heritage? The Masters, coming soon.
Balalama has got the athleticism to play with Villanova.
but not the skill nor the depth
Are you a huge “States Rights” advocate? The Masters, coming soon.
So feeding the ducks while high was fun again this morning.
I mean I was high, not the ducks.
Well, I guess they could have been. It’s hard to tell and I mind my own business and don’t ask questions.
Have you moved your therapy couch out to the shoreline yet? What are the their rates like?
fattening them FOAR teh slaughter?
No, that’s the geese Imma start shooting* with the pellet gun later. Those assholes are making a mess. I honestly never realized geese could shit that much. Time for them to move on.
* Not to injure. Just to sting a little bit and make the yard a little less fun to shit in.
I just like duck. Tasty.
You eat my ducks and we’re gonna have a problem, mister.
Oh, an osprey showed up flying around and looking to grab some fishies. That’s new. They don’t usually come this far inland. Hope he sticks around.
And yes, I’m disappointed I no had camera.
You know what I’d like to say about your goose problem, but we don’t need PETA to angrily flood the site. Fuckers.
Time to make foie gras.
Do you have no idea what tampons are for? The Masters, coming soon.
Top of the mornin’ to you reprobates! Homer vs. the 18th Amendment is just starting, with a Guinness in hand.
Merry Irish Xmas, everyone!
I knew there was a reason I was drinking today!
I haven’t pooped yet today. Odd.
what kind of old man are you?
A constipated failure?
Another great punk rock band name, btw.
no, I meant the normal regularity!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxq05W0i5Nc
I miss that show. I really need to rewatch it.
the fashion consultant for the sideline lady needs be shot. Were no homosexuals available in the Greater Yinzburgh area?
Great D by Bama!
Fuck UVA. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer group of J Crew clad Nazi hosters.
That thing I sent you, it’s been delivered. Just in case you don’t trust your neighbors.
Thanks! Still on the road but will return the favor when I’m back
I smell a Nerdy White Guys Drug Deal going down.
Just because it’s been up my butt doesn’t mean it’s drugs
Do tell!!!!!
It’s high-quality beer, so, yeah, pretty much the apotheosis of a Nerdy White Guys Drug Deal.
If you failed to address that package as “c/o Langdon Alger” you are dead to me.
Just finished that book about Dunbar High School. Didn’t realize Bob Wade had a 10 year coaching record of 273-24. That’s insane.
He fell a little short of that mark at Maryland.
12:04? That’s four minutes of quality day-drinking fucking wasted. smh
UMBC opened at +465 v. K State. Hippo all over DAT.
Who do you use? My guys are sitting at+425.
betDSI.eu
I might have to look into them. I’m kinda pissed that I’m still waiting on my money. And now after KState yesterday, there’s another $1,100 Imma have to ask for I guess.
Fuck you, Bovada. I think we should see other people.
I waited about 5 weeks.
Holy shit, really? Maybe I’m being an unreasonable asshole again then.
Been about 2.5 so far.
also Marshall +600 against overconfident Cousinfuckers.
#WeAreTeamBlackLungCumstains
Liquor store run-who wants to ride shotgun?
I stocked up yesterday. But I do need to go buy a pack of smokes.
I wanted a cigarette so bad last night while I was high. I always want one when I’m high for some reason.
But I was too high to drive.
Me, I may need it around *calculates when I’ll get home from teaching* 5:00?
I haven’t seen a group of folks from Charlottesville get run over that badly since…
There was good basketballing ON BOTH SIDES, ppl forget that
Crap. As much as I enjoyed seeing UMBilical Cord State beat Virginia, it has completely ruined my Duke jinxing strategy of filling out my bracket. Now Duke can win it all and I probably won’t win a cent.
I was going to go with “This UMBC, I call them Sally Hemings, because they just destroyed Thomas Jefferson’s legacy”, but THIS, this is perfection:
Patrick Claybon
Verified account
@PatrickClaybon
Follow Follow @PatrickClaybon
More Patrick Claybon Retweeted Jonathan Jones
He’d be pleased to know the labor still unpaid thoPatrick Claybon added,
Jonathan Jones
Verified account
@jjones9
Thomas Jefferson did not start this university to be the first 1 seed to lose to a 16 seed in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament
7:47 PM – 16 Mar 2018
Perfection INDEED!
/also liek TJ destroyed DAT ASS!
“Huh? What’d I miss?” -Thomas Jefferson
Damn it Fulham, you had one job!