Sunday Gravy with yeah right – Jambalaya Two Ways

Mahning folks. Glad y’all could make it.

No fuck that, my shitty attempt at a Cajun accent would tire out faster than a fat hound on a squirrel hunt.

Sorry.

Welcome back to Sunday Gravy everyone.

Got a good one for you today. This is one of those dishes, like chili that every decent cook needs to make. Also similar to chili is the fact that no two recipes are exactly the same. This one allows you to freestyle a bit as long as you stay true to the basics. Finally another comparison to chili being that this is a perfect tailgate food for feeding the hungry and drunken masses.

We’re going to make some Jambalaya two ways today.

Shit howdy!

Before we start I wanted to re-tell a fun jambalaya story. Piss off! Us old bastards are allowed to re-tell stories that we’ve forgotten that we’ve told already. It’s not senility, it’s reminiscing.

Just smile and nod.

My best buddy – a Packers fan – and I made a pact decades ago to see our two teams play each other. Once in Minneapolis and once in Green Bay. This is from the Green Bay leg of that trip.

My buddy’s girlfriend, wife now, contacted me about surprising him for his birthday. She had heard about our pact to see our teams play each other and she wanted to make the arrangements and that included me meeting them in Green Bay for a surprise birthday present. Logistically this was interesting because they live in Jersey and I live in L.A.

She booked everything through Packers Tours, this included airfare, tickets, a tour of Lambeau, rooms at the Sheraton which is connected to the Oneida Indian Casino and Conference Center, transportation to and from the game, some Packers tchotchkes, a Packers stadium blanket – very suitable for wiping my ass with – and last but not least passes to a tailgate party at Brett Farve’s Steakhouse adjacent to Lambeau. Yes the “tiny unit-ed one” was still the Green Bay QB.

Everything went fine, apart from my flight from Chicago to Green Bay being delayed causing me to miss the stadium tour. I meet up with my buddy, his wife, and one of my godsons at the hotel bar and frivolity ensued. Oh, yeah! Just remembered, I won a shitload of cash at the Indian Casino playing blackjack.

Day of game we all load up on some buses for the transportation to the game/tailgate party. The driver even took a detour though a very Midwest looking housing tract to give us a glimpse of “Brett Favre’s hoose!” uttered in her hilarious accent. I stayed on the bus while everyone else took selfies. Jesus please-us. The bus rolls into the stadium parking lot and we head to the tailgate.

It was everything you imagined. A rock and roll polka band playing all of your favorite tailgate songs including “The Bears Still Suck” tons of alcohol and a tent with acres of bratwurst, burgers, dogs, chips etc and a table laden down with trays of Brett’s famous jambalaya. I tried all of the above.

Will I accept responsibility for drinking beers, eating brats and jambalaya while outdoors in 30 degree weather at 9:00 AM? Abso-fucking-lutely I will. Then again I was wearing a Vikings jersey at a Packers tailgate party next to Brett Favre’s Steakhouse.

Without getting into the horrid details too much, I came down with a nice bout of food poisoning that lasted for the next 3 days.

To this day I still say that Brett Favre poisoned me and to this day I know what the inside of every men’s room in Lambeau, the Lambeau Atrium and the greater Green Bay metro area looks like.

Motherfucker.

Besides my jambalaya kicks the crap out of Brett Favre’s. Which, now that I think about it, is kind of poetic justice.

My bonefides for this dish include my grandmother being from Baton Rouge as well as her being a beer swilling swamp denizen of the purest ray serene. She gave me the influences and the ideas for all of my Creole cooking.

Previous Creole recipes include:

Shrimp and grits.

and

Grillades and grits.

With plenty more to come.

Jambalaya!

2 pounds of boneless skinless chicken thighs – you can use breast meat but it won’t stew as well.

1 pound of smoked sausage – sliced up. If you can get a good andouille use that. I had to use hot links here.

1 pound of fresh shrimp, peeled and de-veined.

1 onion chopped.

1 green bell pepper cleaned and chopped with seeds removed.

3-4 stalks of celery cleaned and rinsed and chopped.

Shit tons of garlic. Probably 6-7 cloves minced.

2 15 oz cans of diced tomatoes – since my Dad’s family came from Texas I used 1 can of tomatoes and 1 can of Rotel tomatoes and chilies. Fuck heresy, this is family shit here.

2 bay leaves.

1 teaspoon of dried thyme.

1 teaspoon of cayenne.

2-3 tablespoons of “essence.” We’ve discussed “essence” plenty of times in the past.

2 tablespoons or a couple of good shakes of hot sauce. I’m not a big fan of Tabasco so I used Red Rooster Louisiana Hot Sauce. Use what you like.

2 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce.

2 cups of chicken stock.

1 cup of rice – cooked or uncooked – we’ll get to that,

For today I also used some angel hair pasta, cooked to al dente. We’ll get to that too.

Here we go.

Now class, what do we have here? Minus the garlic of course.

If you said the “holy trinity” you get your Cajun wings. That’s right, celery, onion and bell pepper comprise the trinity and it’s the backbone of almost all Creole cooking. Chop up your trinity first.

Next get the chicken up to room temp and let’s get to searing it.

We are going to season the chicken thighs on both sides with plenty of the essence. If you don’t want to fuck around and make a batch of essence just use paprika, cayenne, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, pepper and thyme which now that I think about it is pretty much the same fucking thing as essence. Anyway.

Cook for about 5-7 minutes per side.

Working in batches brown all of the chicken then remove from the pan.

Now we’re going to add the trinity to the pan drippings and cook that for about 10 minutes. You will need to use a wooden spoon and scrape up all of the browned chicken bits from the bottom of the pan as the vegetables saute and turn translucent.

When the trinity has cooked down for the allotted time get the rest of the ingredients in the pool. Back goes the chicken, then toss in the sliced sausage, the garlic, the extra thyme, cayenne, the hot sauce, the Worchestershire, bay leaves, the chicken stock and both cans of tomatoes.

Season with some of the remaining essence and bring to a simmer.

Now. Here’s where today’s variations come in. Many people will cook the jambalaya as we just prepared it for about 30-40 minutes and right now at the start of the simmering they add in the uncooked rice and let the chicken stock and the rest of the juices cook the rice through. This is a perfectly fine technique and leads to a much denser jambalaya. I’ve seen some that are basically like a paella, a thick, one dish rice-forward concoction like this.

image via

That’s not what I’m going for today. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the rice-centric jambalaya and I would even recommend this method for the tailgating thing. It’s easier to eat, prepared in one big dish and it will feed a fucking bunch of people.

Not today. I wanted a more stew-like consistency and I want to serve this over a choice of two starches. In order to make it this way, let the stew simmer for about 1 hour and 20 minutes without adding rice. We want the chicken to start breaking down and this will get those flavors nice and condensed. It will be a purer form and the spices will really be front and center. Cooking it with a big pot of rice just dilutes it too much for me.

There we go. After the jambalaya has thickened some, turn off the heat and add the cleaned shrimp. Trust me, this shit is plenty hot enough to finish cooking the shrimp with the burner turned off.

Let the shrimp cook in the sauce until they are nice and pink.

Now let’s get our starches cooking.

Rice is in the back and the pasta water is in front.

When the starches are ready we will place a scoop of rice on one side of the plate, a scoop of the angel hair pasta on the other side of the plate and ladle on some of the jambalaya. My version today allows you to use as much or as little sauce/rice/pasta as your evil little hearts desire. Garnish with some parsley or some chopped green onion and serve.

Some garlic bread and maybe a side salad and just epic portions of beer to complete this dish.

Now, when someone makes the dish this way…

image via

You have a tasty rice dish with stuff in it. “Hey? Look, it’s got some shrimp and some other stuff too! And it’s a little spicy!”

When you serve it this way?

The shrimp is succulent and briny, the chicken is tender and seasoned perfectly. The links snap as you bite into them. But the spice…Oh shit, the spice. This will leave a slow simmer of heat tingling your tongue after each bite. The flavors are deep and far from subtle. This is spicy without being too hot and every fucking spice sings through like a goddamn Creole symphony.

This is jambalaya.

If you want to feed a big ass crowd, add in the rice while it cooks and everyone is happy but I hope you saved enough of the stewed jambalaya to treat yourself.

That’s Creole.

That’s the SHIT!

Thanks for buying the ticket and taking the ride on another edition of Sunday Gravy.

PEACE!

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yeah right
yeah right is a fully vaccinated lifelong Vikings fan, food guru and LA Harbor resident with a black belt in profanity.
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ballsofsteelandfury

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

J. Paul Getty never had a Smithers.

Unsurprised

Is it wrong that I am looking at the Inglewood field and thinking that it would be immensely funny for the field to collapse and take everyone on the surface with it the day that the new Rams stadium opens?

Even if it is, fuck you, I think it’d be hilarious.

Brick Meathook

Long Beach, 1941
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Unsurprised

The city has somehow managed to go downhill from here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

All said, I still want to go back to Los Angeles even though I always sweat my ass off because I’m a fat fuck.

ballsofsteelandfury

You should.

Unsurprised

Once I get shit straightened out here.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Since you can’t post, just send us the nudes.

ballsofsteelandfury

I have a map at work of all the oil fields in Southern California. It’s pretty much underneath everything.

Unsurprised

Good Idea: Build a megalopolis over an earthquake-prone oil field that has been sucked dry.

ballsofsteelandfury

In a desert.

Unsurprised

There’s also just enough forest around to make fall interesting.

Brick Meathook

Huntington Beach, California
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Venice Beach
Los Angeles, California
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Col. Duke LaCross

I was reading somewhere that it’s still pretty much the biggest oilfield not in Texas or Alaska in the US. They just hide all the derricks in warehouse-like buildings so they’re out of sight.

Brick Meathook

They’re hidden and sometimes not hidden. The Wilmington Field is the huge ocean of oil under SoCal; it’s mostly gone but scavenging wells are still profitable. Signal Hill in Long Beach sank 10 feet during World War II they pumped out so much oil.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

El Segundo; a beautiful refinery.

*Not beautiful

Unsurprised

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Brick Meathook

They based the art direction for Blade Runner on the ARCO refinery in Carson, which would get nice foggy air and do gas burnoffs. It really does look spectacular.

Unsurprised

Hoor— Wait, no, that’s bad.

Brick Meathook

Richmond Street
El Segundo, California
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ballsofsteelandfury

This one is on the campus of Beverly Hills High School along Olympic Blvd.

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Brick Meathook

La Cienega at 3rd Street
current site of the Beverly Center
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Brick Meathook

Oil wells behind the Beverly Center , present day
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Brick Meathook

Long Beach, California
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

Merry Easter to y’all. Today is Ohtani Pitching Debut day in my household.

1st inning: K, foul out, K. Topped out at 100 mph.
2nd inning: single, single, HR.
3rd inning: 2 ground outs and a K.

Have a feeling the whole season will be this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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That’s why we need onions.

Spanky Datass

Just smile and nod.
http://replygif.net/i/1125.gif

Spanky Datass

Fuck you Google Image Search. Asshole.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Always good to overhear the phrase “and that’s why we got divorced”

SonOfSpam

“…on top of all that, he kept communicating with some guy named ‘BallsOfSteel’ and every time he logged off the computer he awkwardly asked me for anal. I mean, I pegged him once but was so grossed out…”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

You know that’s right.

Unsurprised

I didn’t know you were so close to Sill.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Nationals right back at it. Rendon HR in the first.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

When did Justin Smoak get good at hitting?

Mr. Ayo

Like most hitters, when he left Seattle.

Brick Meathook
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

UPDATE: As it’s now after 3:00 pm EST, I won’t have enough time to make pot roast. LOOKS LIKE JAMBALAYA TONIGHT!
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Gratliff

CLAUDE GIROUX FOR HART

Gratliff

Oh fuck you, Boston

theeWeeBabySeamus

Said everyone everywhere who doesn’t live in Boston.

Mr. Ayo

lol Flyers

Gratliff

That was their NHL all-time record 145th tying goal given up in the last minute of regulation this season.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Suck it.
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Mr. Ayo

There are many ways to enjoy a flower

theeWeeBabySeamus

Very true.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

“I’d buy that for a dollar”

-Local flower fucker

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s good eatin’.

– Most of tWBS’ relatives

Don T

I LEARNED IT FROM YOU OK!!!!
/self-righteous door slam

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Is she mad because there were supposed to be more or that she accidentally dropped one of mommy’s little peacemakers into her brat’s easter egg?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Thanks Miley!

Fronkenshteen

Just purchased all the ingredients. Making it tomorrow, and am fucking psyched!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Usually with this I chop jalapenos with the onions, etc.; it sounds hotter than it turns out since they are cooked down.

*Depends on the jalapenos

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Food is art…… art is food.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ha…. that too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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HAPPY EASTER, PEEPS!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I call dibs on Mary Anne.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fine with me….. she’s not the the type to be called dibs on though. You may find yourself on the business end of a coconut.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s what I’m counting on.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Watch out for the jagged edges, jusssayin’

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Goodbye Internet? That is hilarious.

Gratliff

I feel like Zdeno Chara’s entire skillset has devolved into “Be big relatively close to the net”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Given the thread I read that as “skillet”….. thinking “He can cook seafood, too!”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I do declare that looks mighty tasty.

Gratliff

What’s it gonna take to make mp4 embedding a thing?

theeWeeBabySeamus

HEIGHT=”180″ >

Gratliff

Huh. That actually worked.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m sneaky

theeWeeBabySeamus

No message.

Gratliff

It’s funny because the full code in the source is

Hrm. Even the code tag doesn’t escape it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, in trying to get the code to paste as just text here (as opposed to trying to embed nothing) it kinda didn’t work.

DAMN YOU HTML!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

GODDAMMIT.

I’ll look up your email and just email the code to you.

Fuck this shit.

Gratliff

Internet Dad needs to switch to raw text editing, so that only the HTML knowing peoples can do the good things.

Unsurprised

It did?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Thanks! This’ll be great for porn clips!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shitburgers Orioles pitching. Maybe Ubaldo wasn’t so bad after all.
(You’re better than this, Gausman)

litre_cola

This is now on my shopping list.

Gratliff

Sweet jesus what a fucking goal from Konecny

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

“The most important event in the world is coming, and here at Fox, we’re all about El Tri.”

Meanwhile, at 1600 Penn—I mean, Mar-A-Lago…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Is Alice Cooper playing Pilate? That might get me watching that. One of my weird quirks as an atheist is my favorite musical actually being JCS with the original cast.

Senor Weaselo

Violinist stick in craw: “I Don’t Know How To Love Him” is gratuitously stolen from the second movement of Mendelssohn’s Violin Concerto.

Gratliff

Mendelssohn is not a real name and you can’t convince me otherwise

Senor Weaselo

-Richard Wagner
/That was a little mean, I apologize

Gratliff

Supposedly, his full name was “Jakob Ludwig Felix Mendelssohn Bartholdy” They’re not even trying. There is zero chance a person named John Jacob Jingleheimer Mendelssohn ever existed.

Gratliff

Also, Webber is kind of a hack, and the majority of its goodness is Ian Gillian’s impossible talent

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit. Ditto all that here.
I knew I liked you in spite of you being a Flyers homer.

Col. Duke LaCross

He’s playing Herod.

King Hippo

watchin’ the moneys roll in!!

Gratliff

Claude Giroux just randomly set a career high in points at the age of 30

Fronkenshteen

Making this THIS WEEK! Honest question: no okra? I thought that was a creole staple. Would it thicken the jambalaya too much?

Gratliff

Flyers can clinch today. Time for disappointment.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We’d really appreciate it if you could overtake Yinzburgh so we can lose to someone different in the 2nd round this year plz, k thx.

– Washington Capitals

Gratliff

I’ll take Washington for 7 straight away games before Pittsburgh with home ice any day of the week.

King Hippo

$1700? chuh chuh!!

rockingdog

Hippo gettin $$$$

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King Hippo

’bout time I had a strong hunch that ain’t turn out to be gas

theeWeeBabySeamus

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King Hippo

caught asleep WOO!!!!

King Hippo

deffo a pen, Christ on a bike

King Hippo

WONDER STRIKE!!!!

/and I seriously put in $55 MOAR at +900 on Spurs ONE SECOND before it went in the net.

Horatio Cornblower

OH WHAT A STRIKE!!!
-Indeed, sir. Indeed

King Hippo

HIPPO LIVES

rockingdog

Pornhub? whats that?????
More like HORNHub……. hahahaha

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ballsofsteelandfury

This is awesome!

King Hippo

It’s different end of the spectrum, but rockingdog’s finds are quite the complement to Moose’s oddities. 😀

theeWeeBabySeamus

I wanna know what the tab “One-Punch Ma…” is all about.
Wait….no I don’t.

ballsofsteelandfury

Go there and play the videos. They’re actually real! It’s hilarious.

Gratliff

It’s surprisingly topical
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Unsurprised

Sounds like old home movies.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Now that it’s baseball season I’ve been spending a lot of time on DornHub.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And from what I understand Friday was the highest traffic day of the year for ThornHub.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve heard ForlornHub is kinda depressing.

Horatio Cornblower

MournHub is where the finest necrophiliacs hang out.

theeWeeBabySeamus

CornHub is a new upstart aimed at the farming community.

Unsurprised

Not to be confused with KornHub, the one-stop site for all your Nu Metal needs.

Unsurprised

GornHub is dedicated to bad alien cosplay.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Laura Ingraham’s new venture is ScornHub.

Unsurprised

She’s getting curbstomped by ScrawnHub and ShornHub

King Hippo

took some balls to let that through, and hope the flag goes up!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I always did love Cajun cuisine. But boy oh boy….the next day?

Also…Happy Easter ya filthy animals.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just saw it pointed out that Christianity is basically zombie worship and I am having a hard time disagreeing with that assessment.

ballsofsteelandfury

That does explain why people keep watching The Walking Dead…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well…that and Maggie Greene. She shot a guy in cold blood a coupla weeks ago.
She’s badass.

Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t watched the entire season centered around The Zombie Party Barn, but I did make an exception to watch Carl die.

Worth it.

King Hippo

hippie zombie worship

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahaha…

Hey Hippo, remember when someone who shall remain nameless (me) said something about “Zombie Jesus” to VaWolf and he kinda went off on me?

Ah…good times.

Horatio Cornblower

I saw this on twitter today, and I’m paraphrasing here, but it’s “Jesus was not a zombie; he was a crisis actor. I mean, what are the odds the same guy keeps showing up at all the big events in the Bible!?”

King Hippo

Dele Alli has to do better. I has moneys on this!!

Horatio Cornblower

“I has moneys on this!!”

No way.

King Hippo

I may have re-upped at +800, now +900 after the Chelski goal. Pretty boy ‘arry will be coming on.

King Hippo

Come On, You Spurs!!

rockingdog

go go blues!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Happy Easter everybody!

I feel like Jesus is the patron saint of insant replay cause after further review the call on the field has been changed to “alive”.

King Hippo

Traditional Easter GAMBLOR for me!

Don T

“Jesus: questionable”
-Bill Belichick

nomonkeyfun

Why does everyone tell my brother Sheldon to bring shrimp?

https://goo.gl/images/8ojnqm