I had originally intended to title this one “BeerGuyRob Gets an Anal Probe”. But there has already been entirely too much anal probing in my posts recently. Plus, “anal” in the title would get us hits from those buttseks freaks searching for their buttseks. And we’ve already got enough of those folks here already.
But yes, Rob is taking a couple of days off while he prepares to get probed by the Minuhstry Foar Edukashuns du Canadia (that’s all spelled correctly, I think).
Hopefully he can cook the books well enough between now and when they arrive so he can hide that missing Poutine and Donut money. It’s all in CAD so it won’t be as difficult as it sounds.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53uVisEj_Hw
–
Masters Aftermath
Last Wednesday, the night before the Masters began, I spoke with WCS and he asked me who I felt good about wearing the green jacket on Sunday. I almost said Patrick Reed. I swear I did. He’s a UGa boy, in case you didn’t know.
But I didn’t say Patrick Reed, I hedged on him. I mentioned Jordan Spieth and Tommy Fleetwood, and they both did OK, right? But honestly I didn’t think Reed had been playing well enough lately to withstand the pressure of four days at Augusta.
Shows what I know. Chubby UGa boy got it done.
“When I step up here, I was going in with a Sunday lead, listening to all the analysts this morning when I was watching golf, and every single one of them picked Rory besides [analyst] Notah [Begay],” said Reed. “Thanks, Notah. Appreciate it. You’re my boy.”
“It’s just kind of one of those things that seemed like the pressure at that point was kind of lifted off. No one expects me to go out and win. Seemed like everyone else was saying how great I was playing all week, how very impressed they were, but come Saturday night and Sunday morning, they are like, ‘Oh, well, even though we said all these great things about how he’s playing, we think Rory’s going to win.'”
Suck it Rory. Maybe you’ll get your precious little Grand Slam next year.
But I hope not.
–
NHL Playoffs
The field is set and this is your bracket…
The fun gets started on Wednesday and I have it on good authority that we here at DFO will have a little bit more in depth talky talky about it between now and then.
–
On Your TV Tonight
NHL
None. What did I just say up there????
MLB
- Milwaukee at St. Louis – 7:00pmEDT – TV: ESPN
NBA
- Cleveland at New York – 7:30pmEDT – TV: NBATV
- New Orleans at LAC – 10:30pmEDT – TV: ESPN
–
OK folks. It’s a Monday in the offseason and there’s not much sportsballing happening. So it’s gonna take a team effort tonight.
Get in there and comment. You’ll be glad you did.
–
also found a funny:
“I chimed in with a haven’t you people ever heard of closing the goddamn refrigerator door” – Panic! at the Dad Convention
thats cool. All 3 California NHL teams made the playoffs.
I propose we give BFC karaoke ideas. Mine is play Gangsta’s Paradise but do Amish Paradise over it.
This place actually has Amish paradise on the list
Tool’s cover of “No Quarter.” All 17 minutes of it.
My request for innagaddadavida was denied
Alright, I got roped into karaoke, so here comes some lonely island. Pray for mojo.
Which Lonely Island song?
Jack Sparrow
Interesting…
As a duet
Alright people.
Weirdly enough, some people wonder.
You have pretty eyes
You’ve changed so much
Damn – Vegas is a one-seed? Is the NHL like college basketball in terms of seasonal parity or what?
Petchesky breaks it down pretty well here:
https://deadspin.com/the-golden-knights-made-me-look-stupid-1824104663
I’m rooting for them since the blueshirts shit the bed.
As long as you aren’t rooting for the brownshirts
Only a few here are New England fans.
Formerly a Jewish business; grand opening once we replace the windows.
Ok you LA people, that burger at Golden State is pretty delicious
Huh, what now?
https://la.eater.com/2018/4/3/17192998/golden-state-nine-years-free-burgers-fairfax-black-card
Not clicking on that if it’s playing the race card.
Yeah, I know. I’m surprised you haven’t been to Animal yet.
Fairfax probably has, block for block, the most diverse and delicious food in LA.
If diverse means Ethiopian and Jewish, with an Irish pub.
What? None of those have been at war with the other. Intentionally. That’s just weird, Bobby.
Don’t forget the Russian bakery and the pancake house!
It’s across the street from Canter’s Delicatessen, I guess that’s why I’ve never noticed it or even neard of it before. I think that building used to be Largo, or next door, I’m not sure.
Close . . . Canter’s is in the other Old Vienna district:
I’ve never been there and it’s within walking distance of my brother’s place. I should fix that next time.
I still can’t tell if the Trump administration is going to crash and burn like logic says it should or if it’s just going to be a hamster wheel of perpetual stupidity for the full 4-8 years, but what really bugs me is that there’s these massive, organized demonstrations and efforts to expose their bullshit, and every time one of them actually gets brought down, it’s just because of their complete incompetence. Like everybody could’ve just sat this one out and watched it all derail from the comfort of home.
Eric Trump: “What’s this about!?”
FBI: “Tell us about your collusion with Russia.”
Eric Trump: “I did set that one warehouse in Albany on fire to collect insurance money once.”
FBI *side eyes eachother*
Headlines: “TRUMP INSURANCE FRAUD SCAM UNCOVERED BY FEDERAL INVESTIGATIONS”
I hate to say it but I think the impeachment is gonna happen. I think it’ll be some combo of a blue wave and the GOP (seeing the wave) saying, “Fine we’ll impeach but only because he nuked Syria. And that is just an impeachable offense; we’d never recommend charges. And we refuse to investigate emoluments or anything of the such.”
God – how lucky do you have to be to be the president after trump? Like, just don’t be a jerk, reaffirm nato, roll back like half the tax cuts, send the doj to look into hammering Pruitt, the Trump family, and have a new guilty verdict in the Russia case every month for eight years. Give about ten minutes a month to extending an olive branch to the right (most of whom will slap your hand away but everyone will shrug it off and say, “we’ll we tried…fuck em. They’re left behind for a reason.” You’ll be the greatest hero of all time.
I am not so sure; they are doing a LOT of damage on so many levels. It’s an American “libertarian” fucking wet dream. It will take twenty years of fairly smart people to fix it. It will never get fixed.
I don’t typically post spongebob memes, but in this case I’m gonna make an exception:
Off topic: its kinda bs that Christopher walken has essentially become a meme when he was once considered one of the best actors in hollywood.
Absolutely! A bunch of these greats have become caricature of themselves; they don’t often get parts to feed them, but the checks are so fucking big. Pacino, is a good example.
But yeah; The Deer Hunter, Dead Zone, he did some fine work, and made some mediocre and shitty movies worth watching.
For some reason I always thenk of disney world, when anyone says disney land.
disney land is older, and I see it pop up more in old tv shows.
I caught my dad watching futurama last night. Its funny when he used to make fun of me for watching animated shows for adults. even the simpsons was not funny in his opinion.
Get him to start Bojacking it
I know what I said
FUCK YEAH!
I thought the first few seasons of archer were good.
You want a total “you’ve probably never heard of it because it was only on during one random summer in 2001”? 3 South.
It’s the best amateur adult cartoon I’ve seen.
stupid Birdos, had bases loaded, NOBODY out, only managed 1 run. Moneys still dangling like sword of Damacles over pit of eternal damnation.
yeah, I butchered a bunch of metaphors, wanna fight about it??
Back to back walks? Jesus.
Manager is an idiot. Went with a guy just called up from 2 appearances at A ball (no spring training).
smgdh
Will Leitch must be rolling over in his grave.
On water?
lol
“1 run with the bases loaded and nobody out? That’s pretty good.” -Messrs. Judge and Stanton
/No, you’re still sore!
I am a weird mix of tired and apathetic right now
Sounds like depression.
*insert 2017-18 NFC Championship joke*
So the Pac-12 in the NCAA tourney
I have a slight headache.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/mans-beer-belly-turned-out-to-be-a-massive-tumor/
This guy felt the same way…..
Did I win yet?
Still funny.
i’ll always pop for a frasier reference.
Look at that BFIB crowd at Busch. Weird that they all dressed like plastic seats.
The team of gynecologists about to examine your mom.
Gratliff, I can’t find a decent pic fo mandy rose. help me out
yes.
need a new obsession instead of that loser alexa
You’ll find more under Amanda Saccomanno, but it’s still largely her flexing her abs super hard while doing female comic hero poses.
“maga = my attorney got arrested”
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/after-fbi-raids-cohens-office-trump-calls-probe-an-attack-on-our-country
Hey Hippo, put the betting money down and go into the backdoor to comment on the Champions League!
too depressed ,, smh
Eh, do it anyway.
Yeah what he said!
Some good hard backdoor will cheer you right up, pal.
I could fly Calgary to Winnipeg (2 hrs)this weekend for the Friday game but it is 50 dollars more to just fly to London England (8 hours). Yes airfares are stupid in this country.
That’s insane. No wonder you guys drive long distances like it’s nothing.
Giddyup!
https://www.livescience.com/62220-millennials-flat-earth-belief.html
I actually am not agreeing to put it on a generation in spite of my ‘vacate my lawn immediately’ potential, I’m putting it on the trend to eschew logic, science, and basic understanding and to encourage and fully embrace the stupid.
Alexa bliss looks hot when getting beaten to a pulp
What, I need a picture to confirm this?
“She seems more available.”
-Bill Cos…. Darren Shar…….aw fuck it; too many to count.
I was surprised she took the O Face instead of Chicago Party Mom, but she took it like a goddamn champ
Who’s got two thumbs and an edict to fire someone at the end of the month?
that Rosenstein fella?
Having Yadier Molina on my team, I can almost understand how the DFO P*ts folk must feel about Dreamboat.
/except y’all are JUST WRONG about Yadi, he’s super awesome in every way
YADI FANBOY ALERT!!
YADI FANBOY ALERT!!
YADI FANBOY ALERT!!
YADI FANBOY ALERT!!
Game Time Decision
this is what happens when when a joke blows up in your face
April 9, 2018 12:59 pm
Reply:
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
-Stormy Daniels
[sorry]
This is so much bullshit. Last night of my vacation. I’ve only seen like 6 new movies, played through 3 games, watched 72 hours of wrestling and that is probably not an exaggeration, and spent a day stumping for Claude Giroux’s imminent Hart win.
Finished Alien Covenant. I love most of the Alien movies, and I’m very forgiving of scifi in general….. however; I am in agreement with you on some things; by far the worst one yet. My problem was not with story continuity with the other movies, it was that this crew was the stupidest crew ever in the realm of sending the supposed best and brightest for colonizers. Eastbound and Down was miscast horrendously. The part I did like is the concept of an AI robot going mad (OR DID HE GO SANE?!?!?).
So I DVRed the “director’s cut” of the original with a more than 2-D heroine character.
I was booing my TV at 2 am in the morning
The ending was basically what I wanted too…… but the path to get there.
The character development in all the others was sooooooo much better….. holy shit.
Alien-Ish, starring Michael Fassbender, a Jennifer Lawrence Type, Kenny Powers, and monsters vaguely resembling Xenomorphs
I can understand the aliens being genetically morphed or evolving by themselves. However that never got explored or explained, just that concept alone makes for good scifi material, and the blew right past it.
Excuse me, Seamus, but, I believe it was me who had the anal probe today.
Braggart.
Evening. I am an unabashed Ice Bombers fan and this is the 2nd time that they have been in since they returned. I am going to get annoying.
/apologies.
Pens-Jets would be a fun Final.
hey, it’s #BFIB season. Gonna be hard to qualify as even a mild irritant.
I am not liking the world especially tonight.
It’ll be okay.
Nah, it will just get worse and you noe it.
I have to lie to myself or else I will end up even more miserable than I already am, and I have to draw a line somewhere.
https://twitter.com/AlexaBlissAss
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Which browser are you using when you embed them, tWBS?
Congratulations to Michael Cohen. Not even Lionel Hutz got his office raided by cops using a no-knock warrant.
Go Brewers!
The best result is those two teams playing 20 innings tonight and that shithead Yadi crumbling to dust on the field.
Sure, but I can root against the Cardinals in every matchup.
#Yadi4HolyRomanEmperor
Well, most of them. Anheuser, Budweiser, and Coors can fuck right the fuck off.
FUCK YOU FUCKER!!!
Greeting from Chicago where it’s baseball season and *squints at weather app* what the fuck is this shit?
It snowed enough to completely cover the ground and completely melted twice today. Love this new Earth climate we’ve cultivated for ourselves.
I do like the idea the world may end in both fire and ice. I wasn’t looking forward to choosing.
Aren’t you all used to snow?
Meanwhile, it’s finally t-shirt weather here. They even opened the sun deck on my building today, but I’m too afraid of my convection oven to wait for it down there.
Not in uhhhh April.
Evening, degenerates.
Man, Hannity is gonna need a whole lot of car crashes to avoid talking about today’s events. He’s gonna have to broadcast a full demolition derby.
Really hoping it just leads to him dying spontaneously
I’m sure Hillary bought some kale today so that’s like 4 hours of coverage
I’m guessing he spent the whole broadcast talking about how he won the feud with Kimmel?
Wowwww. They had Alexa eat the first O Face on RAW. Yes, this all makes sense and is in no way sexual.
.
Birds in the Lead!
#HailGAMBLOR
Five innings bettor again?
Little Column A, Little Column B (at 0-2)
there we go, Birds on the Board!
Yours, maybe.
Grumble grumble.
Fuck Toronto.
This will get a lot of airtime, I think
where is Randy when ya need him?
Ah yes, we have a theme
A surprising lack of Miss Bliss pics given all the new fodder
New restraining order.
When I saw Gene and Ric in the title for this post I got my hopes up that it would include a bit of woo-ing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaUx21iksvc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0ngKkSFV2Y
So I tried Fortnite finally and am very sad at the whole affair. I really dislike the whole “Restart a new game every time you die” aspect of the Battle Royale modes. I’m sure it also inconvenienced the one person I managed to kill in 6 games.
I had a similar experience, but with Backpage.
I had to take a course on “Anti-Human Trafficking” for work today, which seemed vital for a member of the marketing team to attend.
Of course, this did allow me to gain some new insights and suggestions on how to increase productivity with my
nightly required blood oath serviceother job.Wait…your company’s ANTI human trafficking? Weak sauce.
Like, how does one get a non-stabby courtesan in this new post-Backpage era?
#BFIB > Ryan Assdick Braun.
Saying a lot, ah noe!
What’s the origin of that middle name? Is it Romanian?
BRAAAAAAAAAAAUN
Ryan Braun did get a judge fired, so you are correct.