NFL News:
- Citing “health issues”, Richie Incognito has decided to retire.
- “I’m done, I’m done, that’s it,” Incognito told The Buffalo News. “It’s been a long career. My liver and kidneys are shutting down. Nothing I can’t restore with some balance, but the stress is killing me.
- Shady has feelings on the issue:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BhZd4F1BZ36/
- Current & former Raiders are also dropping hints about former punter Marquette King.
- Cordarrelle Patterson said King was “kind of a diva”.
- Bruce Irvin wants to line up against him first time out. Likely to discuss dining options in Denver.
Yo twitter followers cant save yo ass when u in between them white lines! 😂😂 😂😂
— Bruce Irvin (@BIrvin_WVU11) April 10, 2018
Got approval. Got fine money too. 😩😩😩😂
— Bruce Irvin (@BIrvin_WVU11) April 10, 2018
- FOX announced that color-rush uniforms will disappear from the 2018 Thursday broadcast schedule.
- But teams are still free to keep them as an alternate jersey.
- Aaron Rodgers is on a philanthropic mission with his girlfriend, race car driver Danica Patrick, on behalf of Starkey Hearing Foundation to give hearing aids to people around the world.
- They are currently in Asia, which is how this photo came to be.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BhYovmxgutz/
Finally, the NFL is releasing the preseason schedule tonight on the NFL Network. I assume they’ll have in-depth analysis sometime around 8:00PM.
- Fortunately, it has been released online already.
- Logic dictates the regular-season schedule will be released next week, with the Draft being held two weeks from tomorrow.
Also, my Seahawks seat-allocation appointment is tomorrow, which is another sign they’re about to tell us when the games will be played next season.
- Currently, I sit in Section 306, at the bottom of the green portion of the section. The seats in front of me are in the next price point, and are $20 per seat more expensive.
- Should I choose to change location, I have two options beyond my current spot will move from my spot on the 10-yard line:
- To move lower to the field within the same price point, but closer to the end zone, or
- To move lower to the field, but increasing my price point.
Practically, if I can’t get at least half-way down, there’s no point in moving. I’m undercover, which is a huge bonus in Seattle, and my knees can still handle the climb.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL: playoffs baby! Check out the Eastern Conference preview here.
- Minnesota Wild at Winnipeg Jets – 7:00PM | CNBC / Sportsnet
- Philadelphia Flyers at Pittsburgh Penguins – 7:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
- Los Angeles Kings at Vegas Golden Knights – 10:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360
- NBA:
- Bucks at 76ers – 8:00PM | ESPN
- Raptors at Heat – 8:00PM | TSN
- Jazz at Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN5
- Lakers at Clippers – 10:30PM | TSN
- MLB:
- Jays at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
Minny choked away a lead to the Nuggents.
We call that the Full Latrell
come back Kawhi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VVsdBPAoeM
I see watchu doing there, Incognito. Liver and kidney damage, no knee or joint or brain stuff… Original tweet: “Only dumbasses get caught for PEDs. Later, bitches ?? #HOF”
This hockey stick of Patrick Laine I call it a broke bodybuilder’s sexuality because it is flexible.
I liked this dirtball game a lot more about 10 minutes ago.
A Minnesota team putting in a strong post season performance? That’s funny, I don’t remember travelling to a difference universe today…
/Oh, they’re playing Winnipeg, that explains it
[grits teeth so hard they fuse together]
I guess pittsburgh is still really good.
That’s going to be my dying words.
/eating a shit-ton of egg salad
Tomorrow I’ll be looking at opportunities to fart in open spaces and low-key blame it on other folks.
“Oof. It sure seems like Fiona didn’t bother showering today. Wow!”
Fiona?!!
Oh, Scotty’s gonna know…
Hehehehe. Balls and I might be the only two who get that…but helluva reference my man!!!!!!
Shit, now I can’t get that song out of my head.
You jerk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_AKr1BEajA
HOW DARE YOU BESMIRCH THE GREATEST LIVING CINCINNATIAN!
http://cincinnatizoo.org/the-fiona-show/
Key word, living. #DicksOutForHarambe
Yeah, yeah, we learned our lesson: Next time, we’ll let the gorilla decide if the kid lives or dies.
@Hippo, Pack9 just took one on the road at UNC-W to move to 26-6.
#2 in the country this week, btw.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4M1O0X5488
Spurs have come undone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTcaAmHkXXQ
Holy shit. The Reds are only down by 1 this time. And its not 1-0; we actually touched Home Plate twice this time!
worry not, the #BFIB are coming into town. We couldn’t hit anybody if we were haunted by the ghost of Ike Turner, baby.
What does BFIB mean?
Also, I was at Opening Day behind home plate. The Reds swung and missed so much, me and everyone else behind home plate were woozy from lack of oxygen due to all air being sucked towards the pitcher.
Big fucking idiot boobies.
Busty Fun Insane Blonde
NOW WE’RE TALKING!!!!!!!!
Stop talking about my wife.
See, I know Beastie isn’t directing that at me. If it was, he would have said…
Stop talking TO my wife.
Nice!
(internet high five)
Or it might be Best Fans In Baseball. A moniker foar teh Redbirds of St. Loo.
But I like mine better.
But the Bengals doesn’t start play until August. I get a break. I need a break. I can’t watch the Bengals all 12 months. Not. No. I. Please. God. No.
Best Fans In Baseball, St Louis Cardinals
Okay. I’ll give them that, but only because it will piss off the Cubs fans.
Best Fans In Baseball (used only self-deprecatingly by me and by most birdos with over room temperature IQs)
Winnipeg Bananacakes up 1-0!
I just woke up decilitre. Fuck.
Off to Minny/Winny-she looks like a game.
Apparently the sixers got all the Philly mojo tonight. Bucks shitting the bed something fierce
I just bet on the Small Bears. Only $20, and hopefully a jinx in favour of the Dirt Stillers…but I feel SUCH SHAME.
Deserved shame.
but they nigh instantly scored 4 runs. Woulda been mad if I ain’t bet.
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
holy shit, the Pelicans coach was caught on a live mic yelling at his guy “grab the fucking ball, he’s 41!” he was referring to Manu
Currently in Baltimore….The video review that never ends.
Jeebus.
At least they got it right. Sort of.
there was like a 4-minute video review in #BFIB-land on a 2B v. HR call in the bottom of the 9th. The HR made the score 3-2, so it made absolutely fuckall difference to the possible outcome of the game.
This one was a little dying quail right at the line. Toronto dude missed the catch but in so doing bumped it across the line into foul territory. Took ’em a while to figure that out and place the runners.
at least logic behind that needing some time
Yeah, I think the delay was mostly trying to decide if the runner on 2nd should have scored. They decided no. But Schoop just knocked him in anyway.
When I overthrow Emperor Trump in World War V and unite the people under my firm but just rule, I will mandate that all review will have a limit of two minutes, at which the video will shut off. If you can’t determine if a call was incorrect or not in two minutes, then it is obviously inconclusive.
World War V? How are we all still alive? And could we not be in that case please?
Yeah that was my bad in World War IV, but luckily I was able to save everyone in the Cloud before the atmosphere was burnt off.
Trump did try to steal the Cloud in World War V, but the Mole People sacrificed their lives so we could upload them back into the reanimated corpses that were restored by the power of the Earth’s core. Also, Trump was banished to the Moon with a lifetime supply of diet food and a TV that shows nothing but The View and MSNBC.
May the sacrifice of the Mole People be remembered forever. Their deaths gave Humanity a second chance.
Finally they call a foul on AD, guy’s been grabbing everyones nuts.
Must. Resist.
Huh? Adrian Dantley only played D in his worst nightmares.
ah made a yuuuuuuuuge mistake?
my gyro has arrived.
“I pita the fool that don’t like this sandwich.”
-Mr. T
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdyeWgsa_R8
Have the Ice Iggles started picking fights with impunity yet?
Raptors up 2 with 5 minutes left in the first.
/scribbles ‘it’s over’ in notebook
u and Spur git a room ,, smgdh
/start broken record
Anyone want to pick me up at the airport tonight?
/End broken record
Hey guys, the Winnipeg game is really good….
I confess that I GAMBLOR’d on Minny. Feel there is too much emotion in that Jet Fuel.
So what did you bet on Cardiff getting auto-promoted?
HA!!!! Wait, they are the sheep shaggers? Or Villa?
They’re Welsh, so they’re the sheep-shaggers.
ah, I see. Villa is Midlands, which is also the sticks/Brexit-land, so it seems like would also possibly apply
We are getting off topic . I hope you lose that bet Hippo.
I’d be fine with it. As you noe, my first Ice Footbaw loyalty is to the Canadian sides, preferably West Canadia.
I covered the bet ($31.75 @ +240) with $20 @ +220 on “Draw” so an Ice Bomber OT win would be perfect.
And this is why I was pissed about flyers moving out of the 4 seed
Geez, Yinzburgh.
Deep into welp territory now
Benches clear over a slide in Yanks-Sox!
“A slide? Wheeeeeeee!”
–E. Manning
This is like the third benches clearing, and its probably just pushing. Say what you want about Cincinnati, at least we do things right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcQkRI8yKyw
It wasn’t even pushing! And obviously the fight winner of the day is Arenado. Padres pitcher threw his glove at him and missed, ha!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAhzFOBKrE8
Here’s a better one, also some perspective on how slow games used to be. The fight is in 20:15.
My personal favorite is this one, especially because in the span of two pitches Benitez lost the game (IIRC) and the fight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKIHNsf8O_A
I will never, ever forgive that sumbitch Cueto. He really fucked somebody up, concussion-wise, for good.
But otherwise, was an excellent fight. Brandon Phillips and Yadi each played their heel roles in opposing cities magnificently.
http://www.newsweek.com/trump-so-angry-he-mostly-just-eats-and-watches-tv-881226
i don’t think he has to be angry to do that, it’s normal.
I had no idea I was dealing with so much anger. Huh.
If that’s the case, then where’s my Red Lantern Ring?!
Can we/this site rid ourselves of the “Aaron Rodgers is gay” meme? It’s tired and (I would hope) beneath us all at this point. Over and above that, making light of gays runs contrary to everything we yak about on a daily basis. Can we please move on from this trite piece of garbage?
I went a whole year without doing one. I believe this is why the eagles won the super bowl.
hmm…….Cowboys SuperB Owl here we come!
Can we make a joke about the Dalai Lama having no idea who this football player is and why he’s giving him not a lesser footy ball?
Yes. Yes you can.
How many DFOers will it take?
I wasn’t aware I had made one above, since I don’t normally do them.
I wasn’t side-eyeing you. I just brought up something that has been bothering me and that I don’t want to see going forward.
Did someone say side eye?
I thought the joke was Aaron Rodgers is a badass gay man. But yeah, it is a thin ice territory on which to tread. I gets that better now, and try to aim better/less obvious-like.
This topic has been raised and many of us wholly agree with you. Let’s just focus on Aaron Rodgers being abandoned by his family and hamstringing his team by taking up too much of the payroll.
Who did the estranging, him or the family?
It takes two to estrango
i assumed he ditched his family.
The people who say it are just pissed because he “pitches” the football down their teams throat.
Totally agree.
from the reddit front page
Karma works through the liver and kidneys?
the Ice Stillers seem to grasp what this casual observer has notice – nothing means fuckall in Ice Footbaw but the playoffs.
Go Spurs Go.
I sorta want the Spurs to lose tonight and get the 8th seed. Then they get the play the Rockets 1st round. Harden and D’Antoni are going to shit themselves if that happens tonight.
Folks
Sir.
Movie That You’d Like To See Made:
I’ll go with “My Dinner With Andre The Giant”.
New Wave TJ Hookers.
I’d really like to finally see Kung Pow 2: Tongue of Fury finally get made, but then again, I don’t see how it could be better than the original.
Oh, and also, I’m 9.
Dude Where’s My Carl Yazstremski?
This. This I like.
Ted Williams Talks have been frozen in pre-production.
Which foolish youth is going to make the mistake of trying to fight Simmonds?
You probably wondering why my hand’s in a cast. And why there’s a hole in the wall. Well…
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/house-speaker-paul-ryan-wont-seek-re-election-i-like-to-think-ive-done-my-part/ar-AAvL073?ocid=ientp
…the Party of Lincoln and Reagan is over. The Far Right Douchebags won.
Actually, Ryan is smart here. He’s leaving to spend time with the family and he still has the option of returning in ten years which his kids are all grown to pick up the pieces when the Republican Party implodes.
Now, if you need me, I’ll be in the Fine China and Nitro-Glycerin Storage Room with a baseball bat to work out why fate has put me on the side of ass monkeys.
You should probably sharpen a knife based on how fast Barry Goldwater’s spinning in his grave.
I can almost imagine Abe Lincoln petitioning God to allow him to return from the living to take his party back. And knowing his talking skills, he may convince Him to pull a Lazarus.
Barry Goldwater with a stunning upset in a spinning drum battle against Minotaur!
3-0 before the midpoint of the second is the worst lead in sports.
The ghost of 2012
found a funny:
STAR WARS TRIVIA: That strap Chewbacca wears across his chest is full of harmonicas.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdz5kCaCRFM
I hope Ron is down there putting in Mrazek’s mask
Sweet Jesus fuck
-Lapsed Catholics, seeing ‘The Light’.
*prolapsed
methinks Litre just likes the Ice Bombers because they share Fulham’s White Power principles.
Why do the Ice Bombers’ fans do that thing with the anthem? HIPPO NO SMIRE
Their ownership group is “True North” Enterprises, so when they hit that part of the anthem, it’s a “thank you” for bringing the team back.
ok, I will accept that
Wait, Peter North owns a hookey team?
That’s why it’s a white-out. The whole arena’s been facialed.
Gonna be clusterfucky again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEBvrUt17Cs&ab_channel=BocoROTH
WOO, yinz made an Ice touched down!!