Your “PLAYOFFS – WOO!!!!!!!!!!!” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Citing “health issues”, Richie Incognito has decided to retire.
    • “I’m done, I’m done, that’s it,” Incognito told The Buffalo News. “It’s been a long career. My liver and kidneys are shutting down. Nothing I can’t restore with some balance, but the stress is killing me.
    • Shady has feelings on the issue:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BhZd4F1BZ36/

  • Current & former Raiders are also dropping hints about former punter Marquette King.
    • Cordarrelle Patterson said King was “kind of a diva”.
    • Bruce Irvin wants to line up against him first time out. Likely to discuss dining options in Denver.

  • FOX announced that color-rush uniforms will disappear from the 2018 Thursday broadcast schedule.
    • But teams are still free to keep them as an alternate jersey.
  • Aaron Rodgers is on a philanthropic mission with his girlfriend, race car driver Danica Patrick, on behalf of Starkey Hearing Foundation to give hearing aids to people around the world.
    • They are currently in Asia, which is how this photo came to be.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BhYovmxgutz/

Finally, the NFL is releasing the preseason schedule tonight on the NFL Network. I assume they’ll have in-depth analysis sometime around 8:00PM.

  • Fortunately, it has been released online already.
  • Logic dictates the regular-season schedule will be released next week, with the Draft being held two weeks from tomorrow.

Also, my Seahawks seat-allocation appointment is tomorrow, which is another sign they’re about to tell us when the games will be played next season.

  • Currently, I sit in Section 306, at the bottom of the green portion of the section. The seats in front of me are in the next price point, and are $20 per seat more expensive.

  • Should I choose to change location, I have two options beyond my current spot will move from my spot on the 10-yard line:
    • To move lower to the field within the same price point, but closer to the end zone, or
    • To move lower to the field, but increasing my price point.

Practically, if I can’t get at least half-way down, there’s no point in moving. I’m undercover, which is a huge bonus in Seattle, and my knees can still handle the climb.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL: playoffs baby! Check out the Eastern Conference preview here.
    • Minnesota Wild at Winnipeg Jets – 7:00PM | CNBC / Sportsnet
    • Philadelphia Flyers at Pittsburgh Penguins – 7:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
    • Los Angeles Kings at Vegas Golden Knights – 10:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360
  • NBA:
    • Bucks at 76ers – 8:00PM | ESPN
    • Raptors at Heat – 8:00PM | TSN
    • Jazz at Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN5
    • Lakers at Clippers – 10:30PM | TSN
  • MLB:
    • Jays at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

The most exciting two minutes in sports is Rusty Staub hitting a triple

(RIP to the Redhead)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Quit fucking around and BUILD A DAMN BOAT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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loogit the tits on that car!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn, I was gonna mention the car tits, then I saw your comment at the bottom.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was close!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Brick Meathook

Ginger
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Mary Ann
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Brick Meathook

You don’t need to be Fellini to figure that out

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bob Denver was PACKIN’!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Ginger and Maryanne lesbian implications……..

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hi. I’d like to introduce you to my friend, “Miss Loose Lugnuts”.

LET’S PARTAYYYYYY!!!!!!

blaxabbath

My accountant ran my taxes with and without the tax cut on my ‘17 numbers. Says the difference is $6k.

Of course, I have the “luxury” of being in a state that wasn’t hit by the SALT reducition.

ballsofsteelandfury

6K to the good?

blaxabbath

Yeah – that’s my cut of the trillion dollar handout.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least they cut government spen……………….. welp.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I get one night in my bed this week, yaaaay

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You gonna wank it or what?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The one night I get to sleep next to Lady BFC? Yeah, probably.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The views on United got him primed.

Senor Weaselo

Questionable to interpretation goaltender interference call, drink!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m wondering why no 3 line call. Goalie stayed home, no signal that I saw, but no call.

Meh…let’s drink.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

/is willing to face the problem
//perhaps on my knees

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Lesbians all over are facing it……….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Glazed doughnut…….

Senor Weaselo

Actually the only alcohol of mine in the house is the jalapeno, tequila, and lime hot sauce I got as a present. Which I do need to try before Padre Weaselo has it all.

Senor Weaselo

But is it chippy?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I like the blue corn ones; they can handle the dip.

Brick Meathook

Is there a sports book at the Las Vegas arena? Can you get up and go get some nachos and place a bet on the game you’re attending? Can you make a prop bet, say on whether a certain player will get hit in the head with a beer bottle in the third period?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Not that I know of. But the Monte Carlo Sportsbook is easy walking distance.

No shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Murder She Whaaaaaaaa……..

theeWeeBabySeamus

Angela Lansbury was a totes hottie. Ppl forget that.

JerBear50

Never realized it til I watched Gaslight. Goddamn…

Unsurprised

It’s probably the only place in the city where you can’t. Oh, and the UNLV arena.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LA ain’t #1 in penalty killing for nuthin’.
But wow they’re living dangerously.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Well at least now I can watch playoff iceball and just watch good sportsin’ instead of have heart palpitations.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I know it’s bullshit to complain about but fucking a, United wifi is egregiously shit. I am so behind on work and couldnt do anything on that entire flight.

rockingdog

preach!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

HOS GOTTA EAT TOO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That kind of stuff is what got Cujo mad.

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Senor Weaselo

Hey Miss? I see London, I see France.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

Test

The goddamn domain registry is fucking with postimages now. It’s postimages.cc now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Testicle
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JerBear50

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Pop quiz, hotshot…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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nomonkeyfun

I was really expecting the salt shaker to be the smaller of the two…you, because too much salt can cause high blood pressure.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Salt is a shower, not a grower.

Mr. Ayo

Are these grinders or shakers?

Senor Weaselo

No matter how much you shake or dance, the last few grains end up in your pants!

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Cute tits.

Gratliff

Anti-abortion activists are going to start showing up to Planned Parenthood with giant posters of Pens-Flyers Game 1.

rockingdog

weirdos….
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blaxabbath

Don’t worry. This new class of judges will surely make the mention of pens-flyers a mandatory 50 year min*.

*for minorites

Spur

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I still prefer DaDDario.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So what?

theeWeeBabySeamus

So what??? So let’s dance!!!!!
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Unsurprised

WE’RE ALL GONNA GET LAID!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Who’s your Daddario? That’s right, baby.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Mr. Daddario.

JerBear50

Daddario, of guitar string fame?

Brick Meathook

Is that the girl with the big tits? Is it the one married to the guy from Deliverance or the other one?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She’s the other one with big tits.

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

Good to see the Yankees and Red Sox are back to 4 hour games filled with brawls.

It’s what baseball’s been missing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes. The rest of the baseball world has really missed Yanks/Sox. Almost as much as the college basketball world misses Duke/U*NC.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Still better than socialized medicine!

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, it’s no Orioles and…uh…uh…

hmmmm.

I’ll get back to you.

Unsurprised

Not-getting-stabbed-in-the-parking-lot.

Spur

Conan is doing a remote in Italy. Gonna have to DVR that.

Croooow

I don’t really care who wins it all in the NBA, as long as it isn’t Cavaliers-Warriors IV.

/It’s gonna be Cavaliers-Warriors IV

Spur

Jazz vs 76ers

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tuch kinda looked like someone was shooting at him there, huh?

Too soon?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you talking gay porn again?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not as far as you know.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Right, good point; when ever they shoot too soon it is just edited out.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Not any more.
Not any less, either.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Lake Bell is insanely attractive.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have no idea why some of the internet hate I’ve read…..

Wait, it’s the fucking internet, that’s why.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

That fucking movie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I liked it. A lot.

Unsurprised

Accurate.

rockingdog

what movie this from?

Spur

Crash

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The 1996 version. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115964/
David Cronenberg; as weird as some of his other stuff. Definitely not for everybody. You have to embrace the weird to enjoy it. It helps to know Cronenberg’s weird ass style.

Unsurprised

I mean, it ends with

Spoiler

James Spader fucking Debra Unger’s leg wound in a crashed car.

It’s awesome.

rockingdog

ok cool. not the one that won the academy award for best picture?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

See the comment below. I enjoyed this one much more, but most people wouldn’t.

rockingdog

last funny:

*takes long drag of cigarette *

*exhales helium*

“ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵏᶦⁿᵈ ᵒᶠ ᶠᵘᶜᵏᶦⁿᵍ ᶜᶦᵍᵃʳᵉᵗᵗᵉ ᶦˢ ᵗʰᶦˢ”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

looks like Minny is going to hold on.

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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rockingdog

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

She can call me “Master” any time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Russian AND US judge hold up 10.00 score cards.

SonOfSpam

It’s difficult being a Kings fan this year; have to play the Golden Knights and their good karma because a few of their fans were shot at, and we’ve only won two Stanley Cups recently.

King Hippo

eh, it’s not like getting shot at is some kind of heroic act. GO CANADIA

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

Classic!

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s good shovelin’

Unsurprised

I hope Paul Ryan has a fatal heart attack during his first post-retirement P90X workout.

ballsofsteelandfury

+1 for the P90X reference.

SonOfSpam

Tough but fair.

Spur

am hoping a bear eats him but that’s just me.

King Hippo

and he soils hisself ,, obvs

Unsurprised

But then we can’t have a Congress that eliminates the bullshit defense budget.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Alien chick get knocked unconscious by a light tap on the shoulder.

Brick Meathook

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Spur

OT for Minny and Denver. Loser is out of the playoffs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Bad news: If you can’t beat either of those teams in regulation time when it matters you’re going to have an unsuccessful playoff run.

Spur

is this vegas team a bandwagon i can jump on? i live here.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You should, yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Usually people are falling off the wagon in vegas but sure, I’ll allow it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spanky Datass

” … AND TWENTY DOLLARS FOR A FUCKED-UP DUCK!!!!!11!!!!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Can I get the …… bill, please?

JerBear50

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JerBear50

Goose Island?

litre_cola

You live thete then get in kid. They are so fun to watch.

Unsurprised

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herodotus450

Las Vegas, spanish for, The Vegas.

Unsurprised

,,,Ppl forget that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Vegas on the board!!!!!

Oh shit, I still gotta write that preview.

Damn you BeerBongRick.

Mr. Ayo

Spoiler: Expansion team goes further than the Caps in the playoffs.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh, this guy again. *sigh*
Dammit Ayo stop screwing with my emotions you damned tease.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp1muwMcBzs

Mr. Ayo

I’m actually starting to dig Green Day now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Ayo

NOT!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Spur

Denver is running out of steam here. Minny looks like it’s going to hold on.

Spur

out not, tie game with 3 to go. this is getting good.

Croooow

God, I love playoff hockey.

As always: I still want a Canadian team to win the cup. I like the Wild, but I could get behind Winnipeg if they go on a run.

King Hippo

this Vegas stuff is creepy as fuck

Spur

they doing a tribute to the shooting again?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Worse.

Jeremy Roenicke.

ArmedandHammered

Jeremy’s nose confuses the crowd in Vegas, they are used to all the damage being done from the inside out.

litre_cola

Thank Jeebus we get the canadian announcers.

Spur
Senor Weaselo

Okay, Tyler, don’t know if you needed to charge for that one. Maybe because it was two, but you missed and he got the reversal.

Spur

where you moving from?

there is a Blake’s Lotaburger in Tucson. i think it’s the only one in AZ. try it

theeWeeBabySeamus

Look at teh bright side. You’ll only be 100km from Nogales.

Wow, that sounded better in my head.

Spur

is weed legal in AZ yet?

Unsurprised

Hell to the nah.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m guessing heroin is out then.

Spur

when you complain about the heat, just remember you live in a “wet” part of the desert.

herodotus450

Is it hot desperate single moms the other weekend ?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Senor Weaselo

Good luck, what’s the job?

litre_cola

I thought that is where you got your AFL knowledge.

Don T

Rob: get seats that, if you’re reselling, you can say without lying “Close enough to hit [player] with a quarter”.

litre_cola

Santa with battery would also be acceptable.

litre_cola

WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

herodotus450

Minnesota deploying the Charlie Coyle line; but is Adam Banks’ wrist healthy enough!?

Senor Weaselo

Go for the triple deke!

herodotus450

Ordering that triple (sec) deke was what got me into this community service coaching conundrum in the first place!