INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY.
A young man settles into the chair behind the microphone. He looks through the glass at the PRODUCER, who punches a button marked TALKBACK, frowns, then releases the button and pulls open the studio door and pokes his head inside.
PRODUCER: You’re going to have to remove your helmet.
BRANDIN COOKS: Uh-uh.
PRODUCER: It’s going to be a lot tougher for us to communicate if you don’t put the headphones on.
COOKS: ‘At’s ine. I ‘eel ‘afer ‘is ‘ay.
The PRODUCER sighs in exasperation, and moves entirely into the booth, taking a standing position next to BRANDIN COOKS. He counts off audibly and then leans forward and punches a button on the console.
PRODUCER: Good afternoon, and welcome to Request Line. I’m here with newly minted local Brandin Cooks. Welcome, Brandin.
COOKS: ‘Anks for ‘aving me.
PRODUCER: Now the last time we saw you was during the Super Bowl. Any memories from the day that you’d like to share with our viewers?
COOKS: Oo ee ‘onest, I ‘ont ’emember all ‘at ‘uch a’out uh ‘ame.
PRODUCER: Oh…right.
PRODUCER: So it’s been quite a tour through the NFL for you so far – you’ve had the privilege of playing with Drew Brees on the Saints, Tom Brady when you were with the Patriots, and now with rising star Jared Goff here in Los Angeles.
COOKS: ‘At’s ‘rue.
PRODUCER: So I understand you’ve picked out a theme for today’s Request Line in tribute to that?
COOKS: ‘At’s ‘right. ‘Oday’s ‘opic is ‘ooking.
PRODUCER: ‘Looking’? As in, sightseeing, tourism…
COOKS: ‘O. ‘Ooking.
PRODUCER: ‘Booking’? Like, literature…
COOKS: [growing frustrated] ‘O. ‘Ooking.
PRODUCER: ‘Rooking’? You mean like the game of chess? I’m not sure there’s many songs about…
COOKS: ‘Ooking! Ooking ooking ooking!
PRODUCER: [puts hands out and shrugs]
COOKS: [mimes the “feed me” motion]
PRODUCER: Oh, COOKing. Like restaurants, cuisine, eating, that sort of stuff. No problem, got it. Why don’t I get us started with a good old classic tune from Arlo Guthrie.
Weird songs about cannibalism work, right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dX9hJZ3LTWw
CLUTCH DOUBLE SHAWWWT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ys0rMLwg_kY
I really want this to be a song in a zombie comedy movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD5wZK1NZ9o
Let’s see if I can get a few in under the radar before tomorrow:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQiPkcOJZ-A
Well this needs to be there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsSuueEGQSM
I should have double shotted this earlier on tWBS pick but better late than never.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJxy6Xaa544
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76eeyjzNWcw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suO0I9f5ClI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxB8Z7GL6yc
Oooooh…nice.
Late round value picks coming.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuT5KUA7iaY
Going to hell for this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I96RZh8108o
That’s fantastic.
Marcy Playground — Sex And Candy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KT-r2vHeMM
I almost posted this but thought Cake by the Ocean was enough #dayenu
Double shot. Kind of.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bLOjmY–TA
sage advice FOAR teh kitchen!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n47C09VU7rE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPPWRXn4jvQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUiIxtKyPJo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fV53HYS71I
Another double I’m too lazy to scroll back and do.
Meh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-krsAtiRAVM
Always makes me giggle….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHnTocdD7sk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUJJ2419WO0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtDO3qBo72M
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=dLUesSXOC3Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRdHsuuXxfk&t=0s&list=PLA1s6zG7tO6lPH7fjLmRlaNt-Br-0hey4&index=1
The blow is the cooking part:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Gd87JmkAkE
Chefs’ Head Coach life motto?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfHax1kGMO0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow1gwp1D-ME
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PnbKL3wuH4
And a double
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2_MUD16EIk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7C4XD3ujJI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bpS-cOBK6Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5qOl7E6mSs
Double shot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u68NMAI_Js
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwIrXOtZyvQ
Always good advice:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLIppgE45wM
Triple shot!
Don’t abuse the sausage patty.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZSDeudyUiw
S.O.D. – Milk
I miss my middle school thrasher days.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPSZ–LnIlc
One for Herr Charlemango:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeiSx5MNDvg
Snack-time, dessert-time, anytime!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9fi2gDVXrA
In honor of Sunday Gravy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7WZZIzTU9A
It’s appreciated!
Louis Prima with a lesson on how to treat a lady on a date
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJcRoYuV2Q0
Sometimes, you have to drink your meal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGL2rytTraA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HN-xtjDD9vo
Now for the shortest song of the day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCSkfp8l1FA
Watch now as I make RTD love me again.
(he loves the self-contained double)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLheWEadUXM
It’s true, I do!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jvVCJp429A
I wonder if Tom Waits has a weird meandering story-song that fits this category
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDo1617aXX4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0K3c6_EPncU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-_eVUpVYVM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gEFnZP5X8Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Va1x8cJt9U
No one can save us.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS5oa5IPSX0
The origin of my nom d’net:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Std6ibfk9GY
Seafood with Squeeze
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-fXmS_JmvA
Goddammit. You always manage to make me feel inferior.
Can’t believe I forgot that one.
You’re inferior to no one.
Except Richard Marx.
Oh, that’s a great pick.
Sorry, I gotta. Dr. Demento would never forgive me if I didn’t.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKDtUzRIG6I
I’m too lazy to go back and double shot this one I forgot about before, so I’ll leave it here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBOMZBxQAjc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz65vonktMA
Ok…but this video (Fred’s mustache!) rules:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VCCiY17hKw
Well, I think it fits. You got the cooks in the kitchen, but you need The Waitresses to serve. Right?
RIGHT??????
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsneH0mOq-0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoXVYSV4Xcs
Candy, huh?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwYo3M_B8OM
Gotta buy it somewhere:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSZoCJrqYyc&w=560&h=315
That’s one option.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRcnnId15BA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxykiv07i0k
It would be rude not to eat (a slice of) her pie…