Your “Thirty-one White Folks and Shad Khan Say What Goes” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Owners meeting rule changes:
    • They have come up with a new anthem policy:
      • The NFL will enact a national anthem policy for 2018 that requires players and league personnel on the sideline to stand but gives them the option to remain in the locker room if they don’t want to stand. (The new Rooney Rule)
        • Individual clubs will have the power to set their own policies to ensure the anthem is being respected during any on-field action.
        • If a player chooses to protest on the sideline, the NFL will fine the player.
          • The player also could be fined by his team. (Probably the Bob McNair clause.)
      • As the King states:
        • “It was unfortunate that on-field protests created a false perception among many that thousands of NFL players were unpatriotic. This is not and was never the case.”
    • The new helmet & kickoff rules have been approved.
      • The kickoff rules are the same that were modeled in yesterday’s Open Thread:
        • Players on the kicking team cannot line up more than one yard from the point of the kickoff. The previous rule allowed players to line up five yards from the restraining line (typically 35-yard line), allowing them to have more of a running start before the kick.
        • The wedge block has been eliminated. Only players who line up in the setup zone (between their own 40 and opponents’ 45-yard line) can put together double-team blocks.
        • Until the ball is touched or hits the ground, no player on the receiving team may cross the restraining line (typically its 45) or initiate a block. This forces blockers on the receiving team to run back and block, which greatly decreases the chance of an “attack” block that can result in a high-speed collision.
        • When the ball hits the end zone, it’s immediately ruled a touchback. There is no need for a player to down the ball in the end zone to initiate a touchback.
      • The helmet rules have mandated ejection standards:

  • League-approved road trips!
    • Nashville will host the 2019 Draft.
    • Big games: Super Bowl LVII to Arizona in 2023, and Super Bowl LVIII to New Orleans in 2024.
  • Nick Foles reworked his contract so that it can pay him up to $14.0 million for 2018.
    • It’s convoluted, but makes more sense than starting for the Browns:
      • He received a $2.0 million signing bonus for reworking his deal.
      • He gets $4.0 million in base salary.
      • He’ll make $250K for every game he plays 33% of the total offensive snaps, and an extra $250K if the team wins the game.
        • Which doubles for playoff games.
    • So, if Carson Wentz returns in time for opening day, and Foles never plays a snap, he still makes $6.0 million.
  • LOL Chargers!
    • TE Hunter Henry tore his ACL in OTAs and is done for the season.
    • Available free agents include Coby Fleener, Brent Celek, and *checks notes* Antonio Gates.
  • Some talking head at Florio’s word salad emporium had a good idea: ASk Doug Flutie about JFF’s chances in the CFL.
    • Flutie said Manziel “will need to be all-in on football if he’s going to learn the Canadian game in a short period of time and play well enough that NFL teams are interested in signing him”.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Capitals at Lightning – 8:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
      • Game 7
  • AHL:
    • 2018 Calder Cup Playoffs: Eastern Conference Finals
      • Toronto Marlies vs. Lehigh Valley Phantoms – Game 3 – 7:00PM | TSN2
        • This is on Canadian TV because the Toronto-centric Canadian media need to fill in gaps where the Raptors should’ve still been playing.
  • CHL:
    • Memorial Cup: Regina vs. Swift Current – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Cavaliers at Celtics – 8:30PM | ESPN / TSN
      • Game 5; series tied 2-2
  • MLB:
    • no national broadcasts in USA
    • Angels at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet / MLBN

Canadians get a triple dose of their national pastime, whilst Americans get none of theirs. Heading into Memorial Day? WHY DOES NO ONE RESPECT THE TROOPS?!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Houston, Texas
May 1943
John Vachon
Farm Security Administration/Office of War Information

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m thinking I could write a very boring memoir called Intermodal Transportation

WCS

Hashtag Me Too!

So, you thought being a Geography professor would be glamorous?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

The Rolls Royce Merlin engine of World War II fame had over 10,000 parts.
Look how many gears are involved in the starter motor, the fuel pump, and the cam shafts.
Very British.

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Details. Which one is the go fast control?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

18

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Barely legal. Nice!

Brocky

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I believe the foreword was illustrated with a boatload of gifs.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A carboatload?

blaxabbath

“It was unfortunate that our feigned concern for player safety created a false perception among many that thousands of NFL players were safe. This is not and was never the case.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Curious to find out what was wrong with LeBron tonight. He was clearly not himself.

Brocky

He had money on the lightning

Brocky

So, someone give me the stat, when was the last time 2 teams in the cup final hadn’t won it before?

WCS

Buffalo-Dallas in ’99 immediately pops into my brain. Not sure if that’s correct, though.

EDIT: It was Anaheim-Ottawa in 2007.

Brocky

buffalo dallas was in 92 though, that’s the game where jim kelly got knocked out, and leon lett’s would have scored if he hadn’t lost a fumble like a dumbass…

shit wrong sport. Yeah i think you’re correct.

Brocky

that is correct. herodotus got it first.

herodotus450
herodotus450

I think Buffalo played Dallas one year, that sounds plenty pitiful

herodotus450
herodotus450

Also the Ducks beat… somebody… in some year.

Brocky

they beat the senators, who’s last cup win was 1927, so technically, they had won one.

one of the few historical NHL facts I know, the “undisputed” stanley cup started in 27, and the senators were the first team to win it in that format

Brocky

and I just realized that was a differnt senators team. my bad

WCS

Very different. No Browns-Ravens transferred legacy here.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE? STOP TOUCHING THE TROPHIES!

Senor Weaselo

Both teams did it, so let’s see what happens. I’m guessing meteor?

Brocky

game 1 goes to quadriple over time….

screw qudriple, it just never fucking ends.

Brocky
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– country club board member to the sexy Latin lifeguard

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I knew one of you witty assholes would bring that joke home.

Brocky
JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Interesting thing at work…I got pulled into a meeting with HR. So in the last two years, out of 10 kids hired from US schools to be field engineers…literally one is left. The rest have all quit or gotten fired, primarily because they can’t use port-a-johns and they seem to think field work means they should get paid a LOT of money to do tourist shit.

This is fallout from the recent fiasco of one of our shits thinking that Colorado state law superseded common fucking sense and he thought he could show up to an industrial site high as fuck.

So I got asked how we could fix this.

“Stop hiring kids from college”

“Where will we get new resources”

“Eastern Europe. They speak and write English better. They don’t have short attention spans and they can pass a drug test. I would also target ex-military”

The PR lady just glares at me.

I find out in the pipeline now…I am supposed to start targeting ex-military I know and my Polish coworkers are supposed to go back home and start recruiting locally.

So I guess I was literally the only person that gave actual input that made any sense…despite HR being fucking morons.

Brocky

…… I can pretend to be polish….. just sayin…

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

This meeting went on for fucking ever. I kept trying to explain to HR…if these kids don’t care enough for a job that they can make over 6 figures coming out of college (with over time and travel pay) there is literally nothing I could say to them in a classroom that would turn them into responsible adults.

We had a kid that had the fucking balls to request a change from field engineer (which he never actually went on a field job) to fucking project manager.

I never really bought into the “Kids these days…” bullshit until about a year ago.

herodotus450
herodotus450

smh what’s the inverse Laplace transform of a backed up porta john?

WCS

I did some mudlogging with my brother-in-law for a couple years. The best DSMs and engineers were either from Poland and Hungary, or ex-military.

Just sayin’.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

It is fucking unreal how bad these last crop of kids has been.

I don’t expect them to know anything useful really straight out of college. My job is to train them up. But fucking hell…I cannot stand the inability to turn off their fucking cell phones and pay attention. And the sense of entitlement is insane.

These kids literally bitched about every aspect of the job. I got five fucking labs with drives, PLC’s, and simulators. I could not get those kids into those labs if my life depended on it. I really wish I could have gotten one of them to explain to me what they fucking expected being an engineer was going to be like.

These kids all got hired somewhere else…and in six months time…they will have to move on again because they are going to have the same inability to accomplish anything no matter where they go.

Brocky

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a definite affect on the effect of essentially growing up in the digital age,

but I can’t speak for everyone, it feels like the “kid entitlement” problem is definatley still a class issue. I grew up in a steel town, and there’s plenty of idiot kids coming out of there, but they’re not getting these six figure jobs out of college, and a decent amount are being brought down to earth real quick.

blaxabbath

Yeah man, it’s weird. I hired a girl (low level office phone answering and data entry) and she almost immediately had issues because it was hard on her to look at the computer screen, though her phone seemed fine.

Long story short, she takes like three weeks off (after being here like three) and me, not really knowing how the law works with all this and medical rights — plus she didn’t have any pto so she was just on the books as like inactive — left it alone until this week. I text her (she doesn’t answer her phone) and I tell her that I hope the doctors get her back on her feet and I gotta take her off the roster because she’s not been doing anything for three weeks but she’s welcome to reapply if she can look at the screen. Her response (the next day) is “oh I was planning to come in late next week if that works for everyone.” Like, no, it doesn’t because you don’t work here.

I sometimes worry about the world I am bringing my child into, where white men have all their opportunities just handed to immigrants from Chicago with their guns, and then i realize that — if he had just a little bit of discipline— he’s gonna be just fine.

Fronkenshteen

All that’s changed is self esteem. They have it in spades, and they’re wrong.

Horatio Cornblower

I want the Caps to win the Stanley Cup so that Trumplestiltskin invites the Caps to the White House and then Ovechkin invites Putin as his plus one.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I was hoping for Vegas-Memphis final for the weirdness, or a Winnipeg-Tampa final also for the weirdness. Who knows, I’m not sure if those combos were even possible.

Vegas-Caps is the worst match up. This is Trump’s America.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I blame Putin…

King Hippo

THIS. Putin’s happy. Steve Wynn’s happy. BLECH.

Senor Weaselo

Tech folks, if you’re running a basic hardware test and it’s been an hour and a half of the estimated 3 minutes or longer, what’s the most likely issue?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Dead hard drive. RIP

Senor Weaselo

I figured it’s either a RAM or CPU issue considering everything boots at a glacial pace, whether app or webpage.

Brocky

I recommend hitting it with your dick

Horatio Cornblower

Viagra.

Call your doctor.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Make sure it’s plugged in.

Redshirt

Consider System Restore or Resetting Your Computer to Factory Setting. You may have an incomplete update and its messing your computer up.

Senor Weaselo

I’ll have to hit up Staples and get myself a portable HD either way. It’ll load. Eventually. After several hours. The update’s possible because it went from normal slow to disgusting slow when I went for the OS upgrade a few months ago.

I just don’t want to have to buy Finale 2018, hopefully they give me the update price from Finale 2014.

Horatio Cornblower

The Yankees are 31-14 and you’ll be happy to know that Yankees twitter is reacting calmly and reasonably to this loss.

Just kidding! Their hair is on fire and it’s the end of the world. The Yankees may never win another game!

Senor Weaselo

I’d say “because Boston won and is now 1.5 up” but that’s not the reason.

Horatio Cornblower

OK, this spoiled little shit in the Lexus commercial is the female version of Damian Omen, and she’s going to kill her little sister, right? I mean, that’s the whole point of the commercial right?

Brocky

evening

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Was that a little Foghat at the face-off? Why yes it was.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Is that what the kids are listening to? Here, try this:

herodotus450
herodotus450

I was searching for a gruesome picture of a chicken with a leg for a head, but got that song instead.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Capitals think they have an assistant coach behind the bench but little do they know it’s actually the generic vaguely European bad guy from every movie.
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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

It is amazing to me how the Caps can look so dominate and so terrible in the same series.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DOMINANT IT’S DOMINANT I’LL…well, not kill…wound you!

Horatio Cornblower

Putting Betances in for a second inning just screams ‘We don’t care about this game and just want to get out of Texas’

Senor Weaselo

Yeah basically.

King Hippo

“just want to get out of Texas” is always 100% defensible

Redshirt

Holy crap, the Reds tied the game? The Reds scored four runs?!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Great, crying baby in the boarding area. Noise canceling headphones, do your thing.

Horatio Cornblower

‘Noise canceling headphones.’ Funny, that’s what I call my Doberman, too!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You mean your support doberman

Senor Weaselo

No, that’s my support dingo.

Redshirt

I’m 2nd in line to get a Support Raptor once Hammond gets her cloning lab up and running.

Horatio Cornblower

I ordered mine from Theranos and I am really regretting that right now.

herodotus450
herodotus450

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Horatio Cornblower

‘Wait, you mean ‘making shit up and then cashing out’ isn’t a valid and legal business plan?”