NFL News:
- Owners meeting rule changes:
- They have come up with a new anthem policy:
- The NFL will enact a national anthem policy for 2018 that requires players and league personnel on the sideline to stand but gives them the option to remain in the locker room if they don’t want to stand. (The new Rooney Rule)
- Individual clubs will have the power to set their own policies to ensure the anthem is being respected during any on-field action.
- If a player chooses to protest on the sideline, the NFL will fine the player.
- The player also could be fined by his team. (Probably the Bob McNair clause.)
- As the King states:
- “It was unfortunate that on-field protests created a false perception among many that thousands of NFL players were unpatriotic. This is not and was never the case.”
- The NFL will enact a national anthem policy for 2018 that requires players and league personnel on the sideline to stand but gives them the option to remain in the locker room if they don’t want to stand. (The new Rooney Rule)
- The new helmet & kickoff rules have been approved.
- The kickoff rules are the same that were modeled in yesterday’s Open Thread:
- Players on the kicking team cannot line up more than one yard from the point of the kickoff. The previous rule allowed players to line up five yards from the restraining line (typically 35-yard line), allowing them to have more of a running start before the kick.
- The wedge block has been eliminated. Only players who line up in the setup zone (between their own 40 and opponents’ 45-yard line) can put together double-team blocks.
- Until the ball is touched or hits the ground, no player on the receiving team may cross the restraining line (typically its 45) or initiate a block. This forces blockers on the receiving team to run back and block, which greatly decreases the chance of an “attack” block that can result in a high-speed collision.
- When the ball hits the end zone, it’s immediately ruled a touchback. There is no need for a player to down the ball in the end zone to initiate a touchback.
- The helmet rules have mandated ejection standards:
- The kickoff rules are the same that were modeled in yesterday’s Open Thread:
- They have come up with a new anthem policy:
- League-approved road trips!
- Nick Foles reworked his contract so that it can pay him up to $14.0 million for 2018.
- It’s convoluted, but makes more sense than starting for the Browns:
- He received a $2.0 million signing bonus for reworking his deal.
- He gets $4.0 million in base salary.
- He’ll make $250K for every game he plays 33% of the total offensive snaps, and an extra $250K if the team wins the game.
- Which doubles for playoff games.
- So, if Carson Wentz returns in time for opening day, and Foles never plays a snap, he still makes $6.0 million.
- It’s convoluted, but makes more sense than starting for the Browns:
- LOL Chargers!
- TE Hunter Henry tore his ACL in OTAs and is done for the season.
- Available free agents include Coby Fleener, Brent Celek, and *checks notes* Antonio Gates.
- Some talking head at Florio’s word salad emporium had a good idea: ASk Doug Flutie about JFF’s chances in the CFL.
- Flutie said Manziel “will need to be all-in on football if he’s going to learn the Canadian game in a short period of time and play well enough that NFL teams are interested in signing him”.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Capitals at Lightning – 8:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
- Game 7
- Capitals at Lightning – 8:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
- AHL:
- 2018 Calder Cup Playoffs: Eastern Conference Finals
- Toronto Marlies vs. Lehigh Valley Phantoms – Game 3 – 7:00PM | TSN2
- This is on Canadian TV because the Toronto-centric Canadian media need to fill in gaps where the Raptors should’ve still been playing.
- Toronto Marlies vs. Lehigh Valley Phantoms – Game 3 – 7:00PM | TSN2
- 2018 Calder Cup Playoffs: Eastern Conference Finals
- CHL:
- Memorial Cup: Regina vs. Swift Current – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Cavaliers at Celtics – 8:30PM | ESPN / TSN
- Game 5; series tied 2-2
- Cavaliers at Celtics – 8:30PM | ESPN / TSN
- MLB:
- no national broadcasts in USA
- Angels at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet / MLBN
Canadians get a triple dose of their national pastime, whilst Americans get none of theirs. Heading into Memorial Day? WHY DOES NO ONE RESPECT THE TROOPS?!
The dream is real!
-Ochocinco
Now Stanton is pretending to get hit by a pitch.
This game is weird.
This screams ending 15-14.
Whoever wins, it’s going to be because the other team blows a punt coverage.
muffed fair catch
Some asshole I have never heard of throwing a very interesting game for Dirt #ThePauls at the World’s Largest Outdoor Urinal.
Plutko. He seems pretty liberal with the free passes to 1B.
well, he is like their 7th starter or sommet. I kinda want him to give up a hit so I can watch Archer, but I also need that L to fly tonight.
/lost a series at home to the goddamned Royals
Not anymore.
real hit to a real hitter. no regerts!
The Yankees have put in Betances, which is their way of raising the white flag.
Naturally, he pitches brilliantly.
yeah, retires side on 9 pitches. “Shoulda used me earlier, asshole!”
/he must be like Lucy holding the footbaw
Million dollar arm, 10 cent head.
Ten cent head sounds like something Rickety Cricket would offer.
This is setting up so deliciously well for the ultimate Capsening in the third.
I’m afriad you may have to let this little dream go, imaginary pill pal
NEVAR
I see the Caps have made the requisite blood sacrifice to Lord Stanley.
And now I see it’s Brooks Orpik, who used to do that shit all the time for Pittsburgh, so fuck him.
if it gets to the point where MRSA know they have no shot and they just start hurting ppl, I will start paying attention
Almost time to pay attention
The Del Boca Vista Lightning getting away with some dirty hits but will have to sell their Cadillacs in order to buy a goal.
Of course Boston is winning. They took the last two games off, so they’re well rested.
When LeBron gets older he could totally start his own cereal brand and call it LeBran Flakes.
That is so, so bad. Take your damn +1.
LeBran could also be his role in the BET remake of Game of Thrones
Game of Bling?
Strikeout for two outs, then give up the base-clearing double? Interesting strategy David Robertson, not sure if I agree with it.
This game is bananacakes.
Opens CNN website at work during break: “Democrats choose progressives over centrists in primaries.”
(bangs head against desk)
You lose the moderate and undecided vote to Hitler-lite and your response is go further left?!
I’m sorry, did you expect anyone in politics to be competent?
this didn’t really happen in any races that matter at all, seriously. Mainly TX-GOV, but either would be sacrificial lamb. CNN just wants the clicks.
Actually, yes. The Republican-lite strategy doesn’t work, and even when it wins seats it doesn’t produce results that motivate people to vote during off-years.
I think there is a distinction to be made between “maybe more to the left than I’d ideally like, but sane and balanced and can work with people” v, “unserious, unhinged weirdo of the Young Turks varietal”
The latter set all lost. Almost everyone who won seems like a good, serious candidate. No seats got thrown away, in my view.
I’m only saying because Hillary was forced to go farther left in ’16 that she’d want because Bernie was putting up a challenge. If she would’ve won the nomination in a walk, she would’ve been centre-left candidate to get the moderate vote or liberal Republicans who’d balk at voting for Trump. Once she one the nomination, she had the play the hand she dealt herself or she would’ve been seen as flip-floppy and untrustworthy.
If the Democrats go running to the left, it plays rights into Trump’s and the GOP’s playbook to paint the Democrats who cares not for the American people, but for stripping them of their Constitutional rights to meet their extremist beliefs.
If the Democrats go running towards the center, if gives undecideds, moderates and Liberal Republicans sick of Trump an acceptable alternative rather than resignily voting for a Trump-disciple or staying home.
I still cannot fathom why the Democratic Party selected the single worst candidate possible other than the strong belief that polling data just doesn’t matter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=8&v=Vncy40nAMr0
SKYSCRAPER: IT’S NOT DIE HARD, REALLY YOU GUYS
C-3P0’s younger, gayer brother?
The bad robot in Logan’s Run.
Pretty soon he’ll start yelling about sea food and when that happens it’s time to GTFO.
Skyscraper: Die Hard in a Ripoff
How much time in an airport before either Seamus or I become Jack Nicholson in the shining?
If you fly United they’ll probably kill you long before that becomes an issue.
You both left LA today?
About two hours apart, except for the whole United switching my plane to one scheduled to land two hours after my departure time.
Yanks maintaining a 10-7 lead with their 8th inning guy in with 1 out and the bases loaded.
In the 6th.
This…is quite a game.
oh merde, I got in on the Dirt Giants at +105. Time to fire up MLB.tv
There were two on but he walked them loaded. And then walked in a run.
Did not bet my Craps feel initially, and was pissed off right before tip-off (??) when the line had gone down from +125 to +115.
grumble grumble
#CapsYear
reminding myself how much I despise watching hockey when I don’t care for any of the participants.
I’m watching BOB COSTAS announce a Small Bears fuxture, FFS
I’m the exact opposite. I love hockey when I don’t care who wins. It’s the opposite of frustrating.
Neutral towards both is fine, but I hate the Craps and Ice MRSA has one of those awful fanbases one doesn’t wish to see rewarded.
Someone want to tell the Caps they can score more than one goal in this game?
They’re just as scared of giving up a goal as they are of going up 2-0
Worried about the aggregate. SMRT!
Someone apparently told Burakovski, which is name that sounds like the sound I make while retching up Chipotle.
He sounds like he has a 0.0 grade point average.
found a funny:
CAREER COUNSELOR: What kind of job are u looking for?
ME: I just want a job where i dont say “fuck my life” 10 times a day.
CAREER COUNSELOR: (going over my resume) I’m afraid that’s not possible
Passing up the Yankees and Rangers playing home-run derby for some hot Game 7 hockey play-off action.
Go Caps.
Just had my college-aged son and his gf walk into the house while my wife and I were having teh sex in the basement.
So that’s awesome.
Also, I just totally bragged about having sex, didn’t I?
Your locker has a basement???
It was made in Narnia; that thing’s got all kinds of rooms!
I once drank some college-aged scotch and then masturbated so… now who’s the cool guy?
I’m trying to figure out who heard who first…
We heard them; the dog went nuts as they drove in.
We finished up, snuck out to the backyard where she smoked some barely illegal substances and I drank a beer, then we came in claiming we were way out back dealing with a dead rabbit that one of our cats had gifted us.
That last part is true, other than I had to deal with that hours earlier.
And if they believed a bit of that they’re a lot dumber than I thought, but at least they’re nice enough to pretend.
I’d say yes, but I can’t answer right now cause I’m too busy also having sex.
Multitasking!
that kickoff shit is gonna be a BLEERGH-gasm of epic proportions.
Me thinks it could be fun.
and one can prolly GAMBLOR on it!!
There will absolutely be an O/U line on “players in the locker room for the anthem”, bullee dat!
This is all kinds of awesome.
She’s very attentive to detail.
Caps up 1-0 eh?
/Cautiously blows dust off of notebook filled with “Derek Engelland vs. Washington” jokes
//well, “jokes”
whoooo padres win!!!
suck it Washington!
“whoooo padres win!!!”
There’s something you don’t hear every day.
Nor most weeks.
Well that was fun. Seeing those guys get out of the penalty box and immediately throw down.
Somebody’s in a hurry to get to the VIP room at Mons Venus.
And here I was this whole time thinking the nfl thing was about “Neil-ing,” as in, Neil Patrick Harris-ing. Ya know, teh gay stuff. And all the uproar about it was from secret closeted jelous homophobes. Why didn’t anyone tell me?! I’ve been making an idiot out of myself!
How many dicks?
Am I going to Hell for noticing the irony in a civil rights leader being robbed outside his home by a black guy?
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/2018/05/21/rev-damon-lynch-ii-robbed-gunpoint-his-own-home/631378002/
That probably doesn’t even constitute “icing on the cake” of reasons for why you’re going to hell, Redshirt.
More like “napkin that didn’t even get used” level.
These new game show pitches are shit.
Ok, I gotta go hedge my bets and buy a Vegas Knights shirt before my flight.
Later taters.
Moar proof that a hockey puck to the face isn’t all It’s cracked up to be.
Ouchie.
BAN PUCKS!
“OUCHIE SAY CAN YOU SEE, BY THE DAWN’S EARLY LIGHT. WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HIGH-STICKED BY THE HIGHLIGHT’S LAST SHOWING? WHOSE BROAD STRIPPED AND SAW STARS AFTER THE FIGHT WITH HER JEALOUS BOYFRIEND?”
Here’s hoping THE CAPS can italicize on their early lead!
They’re feeling emBOLDened.
I’m hoping they’ll continue to strike through TB’s defense.
I wonder if we’ll get to see the lighter, quicker SMALL CAPS lineup.
This really underscores their urgency tonight…
Hey cool. Caps did a good.
Back to your bedroom with the weed princess Mr!
Don’t I wish. Left her behind today.
That means two things.
Am I going to get fined because I was lying down during the national anthem?
Ahem. Is DFO going to get fined.
“You’re lying down? You’re more likely to get fucked.”
-B. Cosby
“Are you a stomach sleeper? Asking for future application.”
-D. Sharper
Vegas v Tampa. You know, with this match up Gary Bettman wins. Fuck.
vegas vs tampa…. so are they gonna have the AVN awards as a postgame show?
I’m sitting in a very smoky airport bar in Vegas, waiting for Caps/TB to begin.
It’s not as glamorous as it sounds.
I hope that I look that good when I’m 89 years old.
Saw my wife for the first time in six days-last time before that was four days
/this situation ain’t good at all
I mean, it’s great for me. Not so much for the marriage thingy.
Your penis can’t be too happy…
She took it with her. It’s detachable.
Tell me about it-her vagina isn’t returning any of his texts.
If Tampa scores in the first five minutes, the Craps will fold like Super Man on laundry day.
They’ll find themselves up against the wall faster than Garfield finds lasagna.
I’ve been heads down working (not Houston 500 kind of heads down working) all day; what’s been the reaction from Eric Reid, NFLPA, et al to this ridiculous decree on something so sacred it didn’t merit players being on the field for it until a handful of years ago?
I’m gonna guess nothing because the NFLPA is also a disgrace?
They have basically said that they weren’t consulted at all.
Can someone give me a good reason not to skip watching the NFL this year? I am finding the prospect of going back to my 90’s NFL experience (watching nationally broadcast Raiders’ games and otherwise just checking box scores on Monday morning) is starting to seem pretty appealing.
Because Jon Gruden coaching the Raiders has limitless comedy potential?
That is going to be even worse than Barry Melrose’s stint with the Lightning.
I can’t give you a good reason but a middling reason is because more than a few shitheads on this here thingy make you giggle to yourself every once in a while?
We can do that with analysis. Also heh, I just said anal.
Do it. Join my Fuck The NFL Club!
“What kind of club again?”
-A.Rodgers (nawt gaycess, pinky promise)
I laughed. A lot. I busted a gut. It was funny before it was pathetic.
https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018/5/23/17381960/millennial-conservatives-climate-change
She does make a good point about LEED. Most projects I’ve seen don’t come close to their designed targets and for most “energy conservation” projects it’s hard enough getting data to track performance. A lot of it starts theoretical and stays theoretical.
As the owner of a business, I demand that my employees kneel before me! The NFL is all kinds of fucked up. smgds*
*Shaking my goddamn scepter
I received an inquiry today from a company called JAPMO, which I had assumed was what Bill Parcells would yell at Hines Ward when he wanted him to sneak into the end zone unnoticed.
Shad Khan is whiter than Opie.
Anyway, fuck it. I’m out.
Not to Jerry Richardson.