NFL News:
- Dreamboat hinted on Instagram that he’ll retire at 45, or when he said he’d retire.
- The Broncos have to rename their stadium, until they get a new sponsor who will rename it for them.
- Broncos Stadium at Mile High is the chosen moniker.
- The name is designed to be a temporary one until the team secures another naming rights sponsor, due to The Sports Authority going bankrupt in 2016.
- In a move sure to upset Fantasy owners everywhere, Julio Jones is working out with Terrell Owens.
- Falcons management is said to be “concerned” because they don’t want Jones’ mini-holdout to blow up into T-O sized crisis.
- The ‘other’ offseason football league has added some quality coaching talent to its roster.
- With the reported addition of Daryl Johnson yesterday, the Alliance of American Football now has him & Mike Martz, Brad Childress, Mike Singletary, Rick Neuheisel, Dennis Erickson, Phil Savage, Michael Vick, Steve Spurrier, Jon Kitna and Larry Marmie are among the former players, coaches and front office staff joining the fledgling league.
- Meanwhile, the XFL has HODOR’s dad as CEO.
Finally, in news Gratliff & I will pour one out over, former Rams center Leon White – aka Big Van Vader – died Monday night at age 63.
- He only lasted two years in the NFL, but played for the Rams in Super Bowl XIV against the Steelers.
- A game my mom remembers as being the backdrop for the Warren Beatty version of “Heaven Can Wait”.
- I’m speaking blasphemy, but the best tribute to his wrestling persona can be found under Brandon Stroud’s name over at With Spandex on Uproxx.
I’m including two video clips. The first is his WCW debut back in 1990.
The second is the match where he ripped off part of Mick Foley’s ear.
Dude was awesome. If you watch, have fun going down the rabbit hole.
Tonight’s sports & entertainment:
- NHL:
- NHL Awards – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
- From Las Vegas.
- Hopefully, Ovi’s still drunk.
- NHL Awards – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
- Beisbol:
- MLB:
- Mariners at Yankees – 7:00PM | MLBN / Sportsnet1
- College World Series:
- U*NC vs. Oregon State – 7:00PM | ESPN
- On the official NCAA website, even the NCAA has asterisk’d the Tar Heels for tWBS.
- U*NC vs. Oregon State – 7:00PM | ESPN
- MLB:
- AMC – Tombstone – 7:00PM
- SCI / Discovery Science: BattleBots on Science – 9:00PM
It’s Opening Night at Nat Bailey tonight, so I’m off selling beer to the masses. Esteemed commentist knows what I’m talking about.
Beyond that, I’ve got nothing. ENTERTAIN YOURSELVES!
She got what she deserved for those stupid pajamas.
EEEEEEEEELIMINATED.
Go suck your own dicks, Carolina. Oh wait, you always do that already soooo….CARRY ON YOU FUCKING CHEATING ASSHOLES!!!!!
I have an urgent phone call to make.
Nite gents.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=6&v=VYox81pDzjk
Jerkweed won’t answer his phone.
And I KNOW he’s awake and was watching that game.
Unrelated: How do I set my phone up for auto redial every 2 minutes?
Meh, screw it. I’ll do it manually.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=xUc5ShkdOyg
I’m not generally one who is a bad sport or who rubs in losses. However, a friend of mine (at least for the moment, maybe not in an hour or so) who is a big Carolina baseball supporter, made sure to call me and rub it in when they swept us at home a month or so ago (which ended up sending our season down the toilet…we were ranked #2 at the time but tanked after that)…and then AGAIN after our ACC Tourney fail and our NCAA Tourney fail two weeks ago.
But I stayed quiet. Held my tongue.
Well, that fucker is getting a middle of the night phone call tonight if this holds up.
Needs more air horn
You won’t record the call…
Sports? I had that look, only redder and veinier when I passed a large kidney stone.
That’s a good goddamned idea right there. Now I know why I like you so much.
You doing ok, btw?
Fantastic. I’ll be checking in from this weekend. Not to worry
Yeah fine. I just need some mental bleach to erase the last two days. I was just a little late in getting it done.
Turns out his liver was failing, and at 20 years old it was time. This was him 30 minutes before his appointment
Still looks pretty regal. Dignified. I suspect I won’t look that good when the time comes, so good on him.
And you too. Stop beating yourself up.
Oh. That really sucks. Sorry man.
He lived a long and happy life. We should all be so lucky.
Hang in there.
Ah, the memories of last year’s hail storm; internet at work slows down noticeably whenever “those” clouds appear.
What a lucky asshole
Blair Walsh doesn’t understand this
Hehehehehe. Suck it, Carolina.
Plus they’re all getting wet as hell too. Rain motherfucker, rain.
D’awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Thought you would have said that about the trampoline ball crusher gif.
Carolina:
The hot tub didn’t suck. Now for a g&t
Holy shit. Looks like this ump has some money on this one.
We no why they get along so well.
Punishment fits the crime.
Revenge of the Beaver.
Suck it, Carolina.
Ha ha.
At least they tried.
Sad/disappointed Carolina fans are the bestest Carolina fans.
A 3RBI double here would really make them sad.
Shit, never mind. But still, walking in the go ahead run is priceless if it holds up.
“It just came out of nowhere!”
“HEY! LOOK AT THE CAMERA!”
That’ll buff right out.
“Do ya got a tube of Bondo??”
The off season…
Clocked out, baby! Holy shit we were busy. If it’s any sort of economic indicator, we have been selling TONS of steaks Mon thru Wednesday, which are usually burger/sandwich/pasta nights. Schedule is clear tomorrow morning for coffee, THC, World Cup, & little man. My wife had a sonogram and got to see the little nipper moving its arms in utero, there. She’s 12 weeks. We’re telling Young Fronkenshteen in another week or so. Nice humid evening in the Shenandoah Valley. No complaints here.
Congrats to all the Fronkensteens!
A very heartfelt thank you!
Hey! I got five more weeks on my FIRST! Don’t be all moving in on my thunder!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1pRZauWIAo&ab_channel=GaryDiablo
Close enough.
Lawn’s done. Think I’ll cool off.
I’m so far past my bedtime…someone burp me so that I don’t have to cry myself to sleep.
Yeah, I’m not falling for that again.
I just love watching the new season of BattleBots and seeing the same losing bots coming back with no changes in design or strategy.
“the same losing bots coming back with no changes in design or strategy
“I’ll take ‘The Cleveland Browns’ for everything I own, Alex.
“Correct. You’re now up to $14.04 and six bottles of Bud Light.”
It’s the Cincinnati Bengals Method.
Now for Senor to play “Guess that robot!”
Three hyphenated names in the Dirt Cowboys line up tonight.
From Rangers Twitter
Those Profar-ers will do anything to promote their agenda!
Lots of lesbians in the lineup too.
Gallo is good, but he’s a bit winey
The leadoff hitter is a sneeze.
Probably the result of some noxious Odor
– Jose Bautista
(never gets old)
Excellent fighting strategy. Hands down. Face presented.
Nomar name jokes, Nomar!
Is “Isiah” a typo? Is it pronounced is-ee-ah ?
That’s how the Pistons’ old point guard spells it too. Pretty annoying.
Yeah looks like he’s Hawaiin, so, you know those people.
Canadia recreational weed is open for business in October!
/won’t change much for me, have a script and get it delivered to my door.
Did they think April was too long to wait? I mean, 4/20 was right there.
Would be rude to the people celebrating Hitler’s birthday.
What do the Argentinians have to do with any of this?
They’re good, but “Hold Your Head Up” is pretty fucking repetitive.
I’m stoked to see how this goes. Hopefully you all are mature about it and then we can get a normal government down here and join in a coup to the dying boomers.
Arrived at house we rented for wedding weekend. It has a hot tub. Sharkbait might pass out in the hot tub
It’s a solid plan with minimal downside.
Brother in law has weed, we’ve got plenty of beer.
Where is this exactly, and what time should I be there?
/waits to hear answer
//pulls up booking.com
Rhode island. Open bar wedding
Trump being proud for fixing the problem he created is like me being proud of unclogging the toilet that I clogged.
Maybe you shouldn’t have clogged it in the first place. Maybe your diet should have been more balanced. Perhaps your diet should have included a large number of other foodstuffs. I’m just pretending to ask questions.
On the other hand, if you don’t know what is going into your mouth, just blindly reaching for stuff because all the cool, popular kids say you should, you risk eating something spoiled and harming all the organs that live in your body. Not to mention all the food that followed the rules and waited in line on the plate gets a bad wrap because its associated with the shit you gobbled down.
I thought Redshirt clogged the toilet disposing of drugs before the police raid.
/shows what I know
“I. But. Okay. When do I…? Is it safe to eat? Gobbled? Is there turkey involved? Organs? Which animal? I’m tired. But there’s still food coming, right?”
-A. Reid
Damn you, Oregon State.
Never trust a Beaver.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYDfwUJzYQg
Has Oregon State University and the University of South Carolina ever played each other?
Ron Tugnutt?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3HZMtTHerg
https://lifehacker.com/how-to-avoid-a-life-of-regret-1826928609
Told my boss I could concentrate more at home without people flying constantly in to my office. I was asked to do something above and beyond, my only caveat was I get to stay home the next 2 days, and next week office in morning then I work from home during the late kickoffs.
Result.
Well, I can’t afford a FANCY sex robot like all y’all.
I think this one needs an OS update.
I took today off work. I have a garage that needs cleaned, weeds that need pulled, clothes that needs washed, and groceries that needs gottened. It is the end of the day and…
Sounds like a day well spent.
Most under-rated NBA’er of the 80’s? Gotta be Sidney Moncrief.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ADAo3W4Hos
Severely underrated.
#WooPig
Evenin, how is the commentist party today?
Enjoying some robot fighting before they rise up and send us all to the old people’s medication mines to feed their voracious appetites for fuel.
Most under-rated NBA player of the ’70’s? It’s Bobby Dandridge. He has 2 champeenship rings-one with the Bucks and another with the Bullets.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MuVB6Gi1TQ
Dandy Bobridge was all flash and no cash.
Guys! GUYS! The first recruiting video for the Space Force has been released!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AUXpnB065o
I’m holding out for powered armor like the Mobile Infantry have in Starship Troopers (the book, not that late term abortion of a movie).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkEdyq3UE5M
I’m holding out for the Klingon Empire or Vulcans.
Gotta be better than going on a bug hunt for Xenomorphs in the Colonial Marines
In case you were wondering, or worrying, the Canadiens are still the epitome of a laughingstock clownfraud of an organization. Followed closely only by the Senators… sorry Scotchnaut.
/Not sorry
Geez hero, it’s not like I’m going to go balls to the wall to defend my team. They are what they are under this ownership.
You see that latest trade though?
Sure. And Kkaarrllssoonn is leaving and the owner is out of touch and the fan base has lost faith and they’re failing as a small market team and season ticket prices are out of reach and the downtown facility is an on-going joke. But aside from that, things look to be on the up and up.
/yer just one of those Negative Nellies
Blink twice if you’re being held against your will.
At least they’ve got that cup from [squints harder] 1927 to be happy about. A series they won by a game score of 2-0-2 !?
Show me on the Ron Tugnutt doll where the Senators touched you. It’s time we started the healing.
A few members of Congress got nervous reading that last comment.
There’s just something about Canadian teams flailing that’s very entertaining to me. Fun question, would the Sens be better off pulling a New York and just moving to Toronto as a second team?
If they moved to Hamilton I’d splorch all over the place because the Toronto-centric media hates-HATES-that city with all of their being. If that supposed ‘second-rate’ town acquired an NHL franchise the Shade And Freud A from the Toronto Sun and the other rags would be required reading for anti-anti-contrarians.
/I might be full of booze
//yeah, I’m full of the good stuff
Must’ve been a strange new feeling for trump to sign a legal document to keep a family together instead of split it apart.
The youngest son has his 8th grade graduation ceremony tonight-
Son: “I don’t want to go-it doesn’t matter at all.”
His Uncle: “I skipped mine too.”
His Aunt: “I skipped mine as well.”
His Granny: “Me Too.”
Step Grandfather: “Ditto.”
Me: “Yup.”
Wife: [she skipped as well] “THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT MILESTONE. YOU SHOULD GO.”
/guess who didn’t bother to go
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_3ks7-OjGc
Seriously, a graduation for every grade is some bullshit.
The only graduations that should count should be Kindergarten and 12th. An argument can be made for a ceremony for 5th grade and 8th grade because it is the end of Elementary and Middle School and it should be considered a milestone.
But the DARE Graduation Ceremony should be outlawed. And it will be when I am appointed Evil Overlord of the World after I save the Earth from Emperor Trump and his army of Mutant Spider-Monkeys.
I had one and there was a reception afterwards. It was a dress up deal so the guys wore ties and the girls dresses. I spent the entire afternoon tossing jelly beans into my neighbor’s cleavage.
Dramatization:
How much money would be needed (via GoFundMe) so the naming rights can be assigned to High Times Magazine?
Some multiple of 420, and some Arby’s coupons would be my first guess.
“No no, honey, the executive order ending family separations has nothing to do with OUR family.” – Melania Trump, consoling a visibly distressed Baron
[Door Flies Open]
“She’s right. Come with me, son.” [extends hand to Barron]
-Ivanka
The young ‘uns once called this an earworm. I haven’t been able to get this tune out of my head for 5 days now so I’m going to share it with you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRRXg1yhsEk
That is an absolutely horrible haircut on Andi.
I’d forgotten the sheep shagging…
He meets Andi McDowell by saying, “Great hat!”
Take notes, Weaselo!
Four Weddings and a Funeral is on.
I miss cursing Hugh Grant
God The Damn! If only I had your same channel I’d be knuckles deep in this running commentary.
One of these days, I’ll write up a proper post on this.
Once upon a time, Mastodon Dad was wrestling Ken Shamrock, MMA legend and roid monster. Shamrock was working stiffer than Vader liked, and he tried to get him to pull back. When Shamrock continued to work stiff, he communicated the urgency of the request with an attempted decapitation.
I hated that Vince treated him like shit because Vince never made him.
That is one of my favorite gifs of all time.
I grew up watching him and was always amazed at how nimble he was for a big man. He definitely deserved more respect from the WWF/E than he ultimately got. I’m sure they’ll enshrine him in the HOF next year, though, since he’s gone now.
Also, the mask he wore for his WCW debut was both amazing and terrifying to me at the time. I always wanted one after that.