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What’s on Tonight? Nothing! The slowest night of the sports year open thread!

yeah right

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Greetings everyone!

The day is here.

It has arrived.

Today, the day after the MLB All Star game, is officially the slowest sports day in the entire calendar year.

Not a single one of the major sports are playing meaningful games.

Not one.

This is the absolute pinnacle of nothingness, the zenith. The anti-nadir. The nexus of nothingness. The absolute goddamn peak of non-sports happenings.

You can use the more scientific term if you want and say that there is “diddly dick” on to watch tonight.

What do we have?

Jesus, I can’t even bear to put this out there.

Nothing.

The British Open starts tomorrow and the Tour de France is on tomorrow morning but tonight?

Nada.

And fuck the fuck out of you ESPN I ain’t watching your bullshit ESPY propaganda!

What we do have is training camps starting imminently! Baltimore already has a little something happening with all veterans reporting for training camp today in Owings Mills MD. The Bears report for camp tomorrow.

In additional NFL news: Revis Island is officially closed! After an 11 year career of mostly stellar performance,  Darrelle Revis is calling it a day.

Here’s his announcement.

Let the debate on his HOF credentials begin. I can see him making the Hall but the big debate will be is he first ballot material? Here come the takes!

EA Sports also announced that Antonio Brown will “grace” the cover of  “Madden ’19.”

Is the Madden curse real? Adjust your fantasy draft accordingly if you think it is.

And finally the Saints signed former Patriots and Giants RB Shane Vereen in a move that excites virtually no one!

 

Training Camps have started!

 

We just have to survive this last cold, lonely night in the abyss.

Give each other a hug. Buy each other a drink. Tell stories of yesteryear to pass the time. Take this time to maybe actually spend quality time with your fam…

Nah I’m just fucking with you.

So let’s hang out and shoot the shit while this last agonizing day of no sports dwindles into our rear view mirrors for another year.

We can rise above this!

 

Talk to me people!

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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yeah right

Ended up watching the first 2 episodes of Ken Burns’ The Vietnam War on Netflix.

Boy has our government evolved!

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Duchess

https://youtu.be/oy1N3ntOoNc

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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This thread has lost the will to live.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Quick poll;

A. British spanking porn

B. Japanese spanking porn

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yeah right

B.

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Mr. Ayo

A
Then B
Then both. At the same time.
Then repeat.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Damn! That is sexy (not kidding)

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

/Finally gets off the subway from rehearsal
There’s BattleBots bonus fights… that I need to watch when I get home so I can write them up!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Live action Futurama?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Must be her first Hurricane.

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Gratliff

Futurama x Kill La Kill!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Franklin is a badass sumbitch.
Snowfall season 2 premiere tomorrow night.
Can’t wait.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmKgACCJtL8

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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It’s pretty warm; can we have a pool party?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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For everyone of course.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

I’m going to be an armchair psychologist and make the bold claim that Kawhi may not have the most healthy relationship with his family.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

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litre_cola

I was wondering about your opinion.

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Spur

Folks

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I think instead of California, Imma drive north to Baltimore. From the sounds of it, I could probably get a tryout by month’s end. Selling of players and shitty farm system. I wonder if I can still consistently make the throw from 3rd to 1st? Oh that’s right, I never really could to begin with which is why I crapped out in HS.

I bet I could make league minimum for a coupla years throwing my smoking 60mph knuckleball though. Fuck you Tim Wakefield.

/shoulder hurts just thinking about that
//raids Hippostash

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQZOn7QJQ2g

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litre_cola

You will get them to challenge for the pennant. They are only a few games back right?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

What’s 35 or 40 games? It’s only July.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Evenin. Hope you are all well. I hate this day. At least give me some beisbol in the background.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So my fancy actor friend told me about a commercial audition he just did where people reading for the “surfer” part were instructed TO BRING THEIR OWN SURFBOARD TO THE AUDITION. Can you imagine what a shitshow that must have been?

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Duchess

Guesses of the % of surfboards brought had actually ever been used?

15%

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m sure most of them had been borrowed.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

By wannabe actors??

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blaxabbath

Wanted: Stuntman

Must provide own landing pads.

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Duchess

Joke as much as you want about Kristin Cavallari, but I will admit she knows an audiance…https://www.instagram.com/ifjayhadinstagram/?hl=en

She’s seeing the hit that is Jay Cutler not giving a shit about her show and is running his Instagram account.

Yes, she still sucks for not vaccinating her kids though.

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LemonJello

Imaginary Internet Friends! Robot Fighting Time is on SCI channel! You can watch the nascent robot uprising start and know that in a few years, Our Merciless Robot Overlords will be watching us fight in cages for their amusement.

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herodotus450

[Quickly skims sprots news befor commenting]
So, Manny Machado traded for Kawhi Leonard, huh? Crazy.

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King Hippo

so, the WS is Los Dodgeros v. whoever comes out of the cage death match in the AL

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herodotus450

Are the [checks notes from 2016] Royals still good?

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Duchess

Lorde doesn’t even care about them now

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King Hippo

SHHHHHHAAAAADE!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What’s for dinner? I was planning on making bacon cheeseburgers with guacamole. And having some rum & coke to go with it.

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King Hippo

Instapot BBQ chicken tenderloins fer Hippo.

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ArmedandHammered

In honor of the 7th season of Venture Bros. starting Aug 5th. I may just watch seasons 1-6 all over again, basically just so I can remember every damn thing that happened before.

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Duchess

well that will take like half a day…or just watch this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aqvIU1dkD8

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ArmedandHammered

One of my favorite episodes, especially when the henchman is searching for the keys to the boat.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It took me many episodes before I had any idea what was going on, but once I did…man, that show rules.

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Duchess

Watching the New Adventures of Johnny Quest growing up really made me enjoy the Venture bros. But yeah its one of those things that if you didn’t jump in in the first season you wouldn’t have really understood what all was going on.

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ArmedandHammered

New Adventures of Johnny Quest, I watched the originals. That damn mechanical spider gave me nightmares for weeks.

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Spanky Datass

I read the Race Bannon Adventure novels until the library’s copies were ragged.

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WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5T7yCkfBwCo&ab_channel=buddyboy08andvideostarit

Complete, unabridged World War Z audiobook. Also, the ESPYs can suck all butt.

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Gratliff

I refuse to watch these shitty awards shows, but the coverage at least reminds that, at long last, Sports Are Good.
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Gratliff

Also, Melissa Santos is there for some reason. Also, Actually Good.

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Duchess

So this summer for shits and giggles I have been a driver/runner at a small/medium sized venue, and it made me think. I have seen/heard Bare Naked Ladies, Better than Ezra and tonight the B52’s and Boy George… And I think it must be hell to be an aging rock star. Like imagine having to tour the country for 25+ years, and all people want to hear are 6-7 songs you wrote when you were 22. No matter how much you may have matured as an artist and evolved… It’s the bullshit you threw together when you barely knew what to do that all the people want to hear.

Day in and day out the same songs…You wonder why most of them end up offing themselves with heroin.

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Gratliff

To be fair, I don’t think there’s 6-7 songs I’d want to hear between the four of them

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King Hippo

hey Culture Club did some catchy fucking shit

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Duchess

Right but imagine having to play “Karma Chameleon” 150 times a year for 30 years

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King Hippo

back to heroine, of which I approve anyway

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Wakezilla

If only there was a league, a football league in Canada that could benefit from being the only product being played today. Nah, that might get people interested.

Not like there’s a professional soccer league in North America that can play on Wednesdays and could capitalize on the World Cup. Why, that might get people interested if they were to show a game tonight!

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yeah right

I have Baby Driver on the DVR and the NFL Films look back at the Vikings last season that I can watch the first 90% of.
So Many Choices!

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Gratliff

I’d be very interested in the last 10% of it. Saw a buddy who’s a diehard Vikings fan for the first time since the Super Bowl on Sunday. We (I) had fun reminiscing about the time the Eagles won Super Bowl LII 41-33 in the game where Tom Brady dropped a pass.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I ran into a guy who lives on my street who is often wearing an Eagles jersey. It was my first chance to congratulate him on the Super Bowl.

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King Hippo

did you use my favoured “on behalf of humanity, I thank your Iggles?”

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King Hippo

Also, YES Revis HoF, NEIN first ballot

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King Hippo

always remember that your family wants to talk to you as little as you want to talk to them

/am reading alone in my room

//may drive to office to pick up papers later

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Gratliff

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