INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY.
The studio is a little busier than usual today. A GUEST PRODUCER and DJ 3000 are in the control booth mildly bickering rather than engaging with this week’s host. GUEST PRODUCER punches a button marked TALKBACK, pauses open mouthed, then releases the button and turns to his animatronic co-producer.
GUEST PRODUCER: I’m having the worst case of déjà vu.
DJ 3000: WHAT?
GUEST PRODUCER: Do you not know what déjà vu is?
DJ 3000: WHICH OF THE TWO OF US IS A SOPHISTICATED AI INTERFACE CAPABLE OF LOGGING, ANALYZING, AND PROGRAMMING MUSIC, ENGAGING IN CONVERSATION, AND LITERAL MACHINE LEARNING, AND WHICH OF US IS A BAG OF MEAT?
GUEST PRODUCER: …
DJ 3000: FINE. [scans memory] DÉJÀ VU IS WHEN HUMANS MISTAKENLY THINK THEY’VE ALREADY EXPERIENCED SOMETHING WHEN IN REALITY IT IS 99.99999% LIKELY TO BE AN ACTUAL COINCIDENCE.
GUEST PRODUCER: You’re just mad because you know you’re not getting any airtime with the regular guy out.
DJ 3000: JUST GET ON WITH IT.
GUEST PRODUCER: Alright, but I still think we’ve done this before. [presses TALKBACK button] Mr. Smoot, we’ll go to you live in 30 seconds and then you can introduce your co-hosts and queue up some music.
FRED SMOOT: Alright, welcome to Request Line, I am your host and captain Fred Smoot, and despite what you may have heard, I may not be the best captain to get a boat party rocking. The okra patch is all well and good, but you know what that boat party was missing?
GUEST PRODUCER [under breath]: I know it wasn’t missing double-sided dildos.
SMOOT: Killer tracks. If I had to do it all over again, I would have EXACTLY the same party but with better music. Maybe leave Daunte Culpepper at home or something. But just in case I decide to get a houseboat on the Potomac, let’s crank up a playlist that will get the party started and get people so into it that they can’t possibly sue or bring criminal charges. I’m going to eschew the obvious choice for a recommendation that came in from a citrus dessert, Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song:
Guest Editor’s Note: Look, this is self-serving, but as I noted in the wee hours of an open thread like a week and a half ago, I’m planning a bachelor party and need boat party music. We’re not talking about songs about boats (although we’re not NOT talking about songs about boats), but we do want songs that are BOAT PARTY appropriate. Maybe that’s some 90s hip-hop. Maybe it’s some old school yacht rock. Maybe it’s Bawitdaba. Maybe it’s kick ass music about summer. Maybe it’s something new and cool I don’t even know about. Just hit me up with stuff you’d want to hear while hanging with a group of friends getting drunk so I can use it as a playlist while a bunch of dudes hang out on a lake trying to recapture our early 20s. And be nice to Fred Smoot. It’s not his fault the delivery guy can’t read.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7aDstrDMf0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4B_UYYPb-Gk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K38xNqZvBJI
And yes, I still say this is what a real life DFO Clubhouse would look like.
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=y6y_4_b6RS8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Adw772km7PQ
At first I thought this was the commercial with the crying Indian from the 70’s. He just needs the headdress.
I hope your boat party ends up like this house party:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsrvmNtWU4E
Oh, we gonna make House Party look like House Party 2!
Or House Party 3!
Water themed, yes?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoERl34Ld00
Double shot:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NJ_nzOckOQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WccfbPQNMbg
When I was in grad school, everyone at all the parties we threw always seemed to enjoy this one.
Of course, we did make up our own lyrics to it, which I will not share here. We were some sick puppies….literally.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAmgTNATJkk
Sorry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JL6vKB5qMU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtTj4cramPM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt1YkGO2Ieo
Their best song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW1dbiD_zDk
You’re welcome.
And I’m sorry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LL9O0B0gzZE
Oh, I get it now:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGyPuey-1Jw
Perfect song for a bunch of people on a boat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vST6hVRj2A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AltMeuPkWRs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_g19fCJotPc
Yacht Rock!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPWqe7l6JK8
Those lyrics may be too depressing for a bachelor party
Why? Just setting the scene for the eventual divorce….
it’s even tagged:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8T095mFdW8
And (hidden) linked
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io8PqddrRIs
https://youtube.com/watch?v=xzqTz_i1NXQ
Generation may impact applicability
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=t21DFnu00Dc
For a frat boat party!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f55CqLc6IR0
Double shot. No where near SFW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th4Czv1j3F8
I think I will use this next time as my walk off music when I quit a job.
Also would be good walkup music for, like, Bryce Harper.
Somebody in the comments on youtube suggested this be made the Scottish National Anthem, if they don’t use it, I will if I ever create my own country. Could you imagine being asked to stand while this was played as your national anthem, say at the Olympics (again from the youtube comments).
HOW HAVE I NOT HEARD THIS BEFORE???
Here you go, gotta love a song that has the lyrics, “Tequila and a donkey show”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r8jlHDBMsw
And down the Alestorm spotify rabbit hole I go.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy4FXhkm6Nw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1YjmXSyHa8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBShN8qT4lk
Uh oh, someone woke up Seamus.
PREPARE FOR TAYLOR SWIFT.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxBSyx85Kp8
A couple of fun mashups.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTqzhgO5ZjY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DR8TkIGy3Jc
That’s a nice call.
More of a sample than a mashup, but still fun.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQSbIzfcURs
Well funk you too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4nOHdUntyM
CLINTON DOUBLE SHOT!
(Somewhere, Monica Lewinsky reflexively shuts her eyes)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuyS9M8T03A
+1 blue dress
I mean, the album cover art shows them being towed by a boat, right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fQESUBMwGg
Now you’ve given me half a mind to post “Good Morning Captain” by Slint.
/Pours one out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glEiPXAYE-U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phaJXp_zMYM
Great call on Hypnotize.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PobrSpMwKk4
Somewhat off the theme…OK, way off the theme, but I’m working from home and my daughter is in here watching “I Am A Killer” on Netflix and this episode’s murderer shot his girlfriend after finding her with another guy that he didn’t know about. As soon as the killer says he didn’t know about the other guy my daughter starts singing this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Vyj1C8ogtE
Never been more proud.
Damn, that’s awesome. GOOD PARENTING BY YOU!
Just got yelled at for snickering when someone was talking about the murder occurring on Rt. 69.
You don’t want her to get mistaken ideas about the maturity of grown men.
And for the newer sounds.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cj56b8Ucjaw
Read my mind!
Let’s pick up the pace a little.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJ5b6pk6lfU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3KtKAySDBs
This covers all of the aforementioned bases.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dNIQVYGXbM
Cliche for a bachelor party but still a great song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQo1HIcSVtg
Fun song about drugs or whatever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQbXhdJYqhE
But don’t worry, you can suntan!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYX0sjP6Za8
Too on the nose?
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=e5MAg_yWsq8
DOUBLE SHOT OF SHITTY SAILING SONGS THAT YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD AVOID BECAUSE THEY’LL BRING THE PARTY DOWN:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7khQNR7s1Ho
https://youtube.com/watch?v=SSbBvKaM6sk&feature=youtu.be
High on my board:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=8UFIYGkROII&feature=youtu.be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWgvGjAhvIw
The first song I thought of when I saw the header on the front page.
/ducks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWa-6g-TbgI
Especially good if you’re gonna grind some mud into a white couch.
Great song from the 90s, especially if you’re gonna float near, um, Malibu.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0CYB5V9e64
Hot taek alert!!!
Courtney Love is way underrated. Hole was actually a good band. Just overshadowed by Nirvana.
Scorching part of the taek incoming.
Thank God she killed Kurt. He would have been an insufferable douche or faded into a sad embarrassing version of himself. Now we all remember him at 27 and full of promise, not with an album of Yoko screaming for 45 minutes.
Enjoy the hot spiciness of that take. Gotta go bathe in aloe to recover.
You’re halfway right.
Celebrity story that I’ve told a million times! I once helped Eric Erlandson move a washing machine he was giving away to someone.
…and Courtney and Melissa were in the other room making out on a bed?
ha ha that’s awesome
I’m gonna throw some unfamiliar stuff at you, if it’s not your scene, that’s what the editing room is for.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsxjVtjP62Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LnnOlg1pbA
Bootsy and Q-Tip together. That will get the party started.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzoEK545j64
This was on my board. Good pick.
Look, it’s on the nose, but I would play this more than once:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avaSdC0QOUM
CHECK YO LINKS, SON
Also, DOUBLE IT UP
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=GI6CfKcMhjY
Tin Roof Rusted!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SOryJvTAGs
Why yes, I’ll have a second claw.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofkzvM7Skxg
“Yes, it’s tin, and yes, it’s rusted, thank you oh so very much for pointing that out.”
– Ryan Leaf, not responding well to the criticism of his domicile
For party music I’ve always been a fan of the Stereo MC’s. I think it’s pretty obvious from his appearance that Rob Birch knows a thing or two about partying. Plus, it’s got a boat-related lyric!
“Seeming like you don’t know who you was before you came on board this crazy
ship…”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdIEmw_mu2o
And then to double it up…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh8DYz-mjEY
OBJ would be a perfect consultant for this playlist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chhJukhxeHE