HAWT PRESEASON AXXSHUN! Thursday Night

WEEK ONE OF THE PRESEASON WOOOOOOOOOO….

Who’s ready to watch sixth-round draft picks from Middle Tennessee State run into undrafted guys from Cal-Poly and Mount Union?! This is our methadone for the four weeks, before our six month heroin bender begins.

24 teams (that’s 75% of the league; MATH!) play tonight. Here’s the rundown:

 

CLE-NYG

CAR-BUF

CHI-CIN

PIT-PHI

NOR-JAX

TB-MIA

WAS-NE

RAMMIT-BAL

DON Ts-GB

500s-Andy Reid’s BBQ

OL DOUBLE Js-SF

Clots-SEA

 

Get after it, bitches.

 

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Brick Meathook

Here’s an amusing story that will warm everyone’s heart:

I was working in my studio designing pipe bombs when I recalled my first library card that my dad took me to get when I was five years old. I could even picture the type-face that my name was written in, which wasn’t too hard to find: it was IBM “Orator” which was available on Selectric typewriters that used interchangeable balls. I found out that it was even the font that Stanley Kubrick chose for the computer displays in “2001: A Space Odyssey.”

So I look for a download of it and I end up buying a font called “64-SRC Regular” for $49, but after I install it I realize it’s “based on” Orator but not the same. Dammit! So I look again and I find “Orator Std” for $35 and I download that, but when I try to install it the Font Manager on my computer gives me a warning about duplicate fonts.

I just spent $84 nonrefundable bucks on a fucking font I already owned.

Brick Meathook

Here’s a sample sheet of the IBM Selectric “Orator” type face produced by an actual typewriter.

This will help you to better visualize my exciting story.

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Brick Meathook

Here’s some screens from “2001.” Wait! That’s not Orator! It’s close but not the same!

Turns out the font in the movie is 64-SRC Regular. Or vice versa, I dunno. They’re the same though.

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Brick Meathook

I’m pretty sure no one is ever going to read any of this so I’m going to go back to my design work because it’s due tomorrow.

But first, here’s another “2001” frame, a very Kubrick symmetrical composition. The computer screens were actually 35mm slides back projected onto frosted glass on the sets, because computer graphic displays like this didn’t even exist at the time. The animated graphics were traditional animated artwork projected from 16mm film.

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Game Time Decision

i work in the print industry, so totally get the fascination\annoyance\pain of fonts and typesets.

yeah right

32 years in the industry.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Way too many people are reading too much into Canada’s empty tweet against Saudi Arabia. Canada still sells them weapons and don’t intend on stopping. Just like they have no intention on questioning why Saudi Arabia is on the UN Women’s Rights Commission.

The real question is why MBS threw a temper tantrum when he knows this is all just troll concerns

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

FOOTBALL IS *technically* BACK!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Isn’t that the best kind of back?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

There’s a full Total Gym song. It is not sung by Chuck Norris, even if he’s at the beginning and the end of the commercials.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

My medicinal drug card expires at midnight so I just placed a YUGE order to get me through the couple months til I feel like renewing again.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Langley Falls is part of Hampton, VA.
Source: Senor googling the ZIP code.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Jesus birds!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

OK, now that you’ve switched the pic, my comment looks silly.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, it’s even better.

*Already used Jesus Birds (TM) below.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

another double-header tomorrow night? Ass to ass!!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

YEA- Wait, what?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

On the positive side, it was only 104 here today. It was supposed to be 111, but the smoke reflected back a bit of the heat.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Damn smoke is giving me a headache. Time to drink!

Didn’t really need an excuse, but it’s nice to have one.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

What city do you live in? Calgary’s air had been worse than Beijing the past few days

Beastmode Ate My Baby

We’re in Eastern Washington. We don’t have a local fire, but they are all around us.

King Hippo

sometimes I get a headache from the drink, and have to drink even more to power through

/my eyes have been itchy as fuck in Raleigh, NC

yeah right

I’ll join you.

SKOL!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

OK, I have not been keeping up on football at all. Which is my only excuse for finally realizing that I should stop looking for Richard Sherman on the field.

King Hippo

he’s there right now! FOAR teh Tomsulas (sideline)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

oh yeah, looks like the Redacteds’ new rookie tailback likely shredded his knee tonight. FedEx turf?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

OK, just got an ad for the International Bigfoot Conference. I did not know that was a thing, and I am intrigued.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

GET READY BITCHES
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Beastmode Ate My Baby

This is gonna end up as one of those Wile Coyote things, right? Trump is gonna hide in the rocket to escape from Mueller, then Mueller is going to be the one who lights the fuse and shoots him into space.

King Hippo

I would pay 20 American dollars to see that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Is there any thing sadder than a guy wearing sandals? When I was nine I spent a summer wearing sandals because my mom bought them for me and I didn’t have a choice, but I haven’t worn a pair since.

What’s that you say? You enjoy wearing sandals? Well don’t let my personal opinion stop you, you sad sack of shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

I wear boots, as god and Tony Lama intended.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Boots are great in hot weather. An with shorts.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

And if you really want to look stupid, you can tuck your jeans into them!

King Hippo

drops teh panties every tiem

Senor Weaselo

Can I get a “deadass”?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I can see why you don’t like them with your tiny feet.

Brick Meathook

My feet are perfectly normal
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

I wear sandals on the beach, in the shower at a public place and In my house for support. How do you not wear sandals?

Wakezilla

Imagine how many cities and towns could get drinking water instead of creating a Green Lantern Corps

yeah right

My company’s PR releases are….
Interesting.

Spur

Another dead 49er.

Spur

You think Dok is at the 49er game? Throwing bags of piss and shining laser lights at the Cowboys players bench.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

If you replace “shining” with “shooting,” then most definitely.

King Hippo

I mean, be a shame to let perfectly good bags of piss go to waste…

Brick Meathook

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Well, that certainly sheds even more light on to why Jay doesn’t like the rain.

Spur

Jaylon Smith is playing like a guy with two working legs. Progress!

King Hippo

/Ryan Shazier looks for downvote icon

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Passing interference? Massive gaps in coverage? It’s like last season never ended.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you said “passing interference” and “massive gaps in coverage” I thought you were talking about my cell service provider.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

nice

Spur

2 dead 49ers in 1 quarter.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“That sounds about right.”

— Lead Prospector

Beastmode Ate My Baby

170 year-old mining jokes? Nice.

King Hippo

“well done, cocksucker!” – Al S., Deadwood, SD

King Hippo

speaking of, Al’s gotta be a geographically relocated Jets or Stillers fan, yeah?

/noes footbaw wasn’t really a thing then, but work with me here

Beastmode Ate My Baby

He was a dishonest fuck (far worse in real life than the series) who abused women and was generally a miserable SOB, so I’ve gotta say Steelers.

King Hippo

yeah, I gathered HBO took some liberties on the “lovable rogue” angle.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

In the tradition of every cinematic western ever.

Except Rustler’s Rhapsody.

King Hippo

I guess 2 hours of nothin’ but blackout drinking and/or rape wouldn’t sell too many tickets

Brick Meathook

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

If you’ve never seen the RiffTraxx version, rectify that ASAP.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

So Bengals maybe sort of good or Bears maybe sort of bad?

litre_cola

Early optimism!

Wakezilla

Plot twist: Both are shit!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

So who the hell else here is covered in a haze of yellow smoke? And not the fun kind.

litre_cola

Ours is more grey. Couldn’t see the high rises downtown today and I live very close.

Spur

Vegas is getting all the LA fires smoke. It’s making for unique sunrises.

Spanky Datass

The haze here is more like the color of a cheap ’70s sci-fi, b-movie and smells like ozone.

Brick Meathook

Weird red hazy sunset in L.A. at the beach today, and there is nothing but ocean out there. Smoke is coming from somewhere. I assumed it was Japan but maybe it’s closer.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Waste from Fukushima catching the ocean on fire. At this point we just need to accept the inevitable giant lizard rising out of the depths to curbstomp our coastal cities.

litre_cola

It is ok the earth is flat it will take the monster a long time to walk around.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

And by then Space Force will be operational and we’ll all be saved. And then have cake.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

[Starts leaving rotting fish carcasses throughout Carson, CA]

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It was pretty weird here this afternoon. Didn’t smell like smoke, but odd “clouds”.