Your “O Frabjous Day! Callooh! Callay!” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Look at me over here, chortling with joy. Man, this takes me back to high school and my first girlie friend. After a few sessions of furtive squeezing and such she said, “this shirt is so uncomfortable”. She got up, took off said shirt and then said, “should I take off my bra too?” and turned away from me. My throat went a bit dry and I mumbled, “yah”. My first peak at real boobs was about to happen-the anticipation of seeing real, soft, milky-white chest appendages was almost too much to endure.

Why do I mention this? Well, as a jaded adult in a world not of my own making there’s very little that cranks my propellers but the start of yet another football season will have to do. Certainly, there’s no real comparison between what 15 year-old me and old-ish, drink-sodden, somewhat functional yours truly was feeling but if I’m able to take you back to a time when breasts were nude and exciting, well, My work here is done. Btw, your mom’s boobs don’t count. Perv. You know what does count? Tonight’s tilt! TO THE GAME!

Falcons vs. Eagles:

You know the old saying, Birds of a feather will play football together?  Philly is without Wentz, and wr’s Jeffery and Hollins but that d-line makes up for a lot of shortcomings. Fantasy-wise, you’ve got better options than Nick Foles but te Ertz and Ajayi should get you a few points. On t’udder side you’re starting Julio because you’re not stupid and he’s had 4 straight games against Atlanta with 100+ yards. You should grab De’vonta as well if you have him.* What say I wrap this up? I’m not going to tell anything to anyone that they didn’t already know.

*Minor Rant: Tevin Coleman has got to be one of the top 5 rb’s catching the ball out of the backfield and yet OC Sarkasian saw fit last year to give him 3 or more catches in only 6(!) of 17 games last year. This is Coleman’s last year as a Falcon and he is going to blow up with the team that brings him on board next year. Stupid rant over.

Well, it’s your time to get after it. Do it.

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WakezillaCol. Duke LaCrossMoose -The End Is Well NighMr. AyoALXMAC Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just read about some odd drinks; the….. one

Smoker’s Cough

DRINK TYPE: SHOOTER
INGREDIENTS:
1 1/2 oz. Jagermeister
1 tsp. Mayonnaise
INSTRUCTIONS:
Pour into a shot glass and add a spoon of mayonnaise.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

OY!! I’d try it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Noap

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The name fits it like an Isotoner.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Approved

Wakezilla

Nasty

King Hippo

/congratulates self for not betting ATL and then going batshit insane on that last drive

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Wish I was as SMRT as you.

Gratliff

…I hate these new hats. Patches with different background colors don’t belong on hats.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Right, they should be yellow and worn by you know who.”

–Stephen Miller

Senor Weaselo

Voldemort?

King Hippo

one day of pretending to work, one day of JV light stretching….then the full baggie into the mainer come Sunday!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Col. Duke LaCross

She ded.

Wakezilla

Her brain is likely on par with Trent Green’s

Beerguyrob

Whoever bet on 18-12 as the final score, I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

WCS

Oliver Hazard Perry is intrigued.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

DAAAAAAMN IT!

ballsofsteelandfury

12 pages, kids. That’s pretty good.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

–George W. Bush’s editor upon receipt of the first draft of his memoirs

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*With the page size cartoons.

Senor Weaselo

Hey, there’s still the afterparty!

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nobody circles the wagons like Matt Ryan.

And by “circle the wagons,” I clearly mean shove one’s head up one’s ass.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahahaha

Fronkenshteen

ENN-EFF-ELL!!!!

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

It will get better once the regular season starts

Beerguyrob

JERRAH wanted it to start two weeks ago.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Well. That was… Something

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

BAH GAWD A CHOKESLAM INTO HELL

King Hippo

smart DB play

ballsofsteelandfury

Huh, I guess the one man offense is not that effective…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Maestro

WE CAN FINALLY GO TO BED WOOOOO

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think you should buy me dinner first.

King Hippo

Ice Ice baby, too cold, too cold

Gratliff

HE CAUGHT IT THIS TIME! CONGRATS ATLANTA ON BEING THAT MUCH CLOSER TO NOT LOSING!

Senor Weaselo

Literally the same ending.

Gratliff

No, no. He didn’t make the catch out of bounds in January.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s a bullshit call, sorry.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

yeah you let that one go

WCS

….and here come the batteries.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

They’ll throw an entire tesla

Senor Weaselo

HAIL BLEERGH!

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