Your “O Frabjous Day! Callooh! Callay!” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Look at me over here, chortling with joy. Man, this takes me back to high school and my first girlie friend. After a few sessions of furtive squeezing and such she said, “this shirt is so uncomfortable”. She got up, took off said shirt and then said, “should I take off my bra too?” and turned away from me. My throat went a bit dry and I mumbled, “yah”. My first peak at real boobs was about to happen-the anticipation of seeing real, soft, milky-white chest appendages was almost too much to endure.

Why do I mention this? Well, as a jaded adult in a world not of my own making there’s very little that cranks my propellers but the start of yet another football season will have to do. Certainly, there’s no real comparison between what 15 year-old me and old-ish, drink-sodden, somewhat functional yours truly was feeling but if I’m able to take you back to a time when breasts were nude and exciting, well, My work here is done. Btw, your mom’s boobs don’t count. Perv. You know what does count? Tonight’s tilt! TO THE GAME!

Falcons vs. Eagles:

You know the old saying, Birds of a feather will play football together?  Philly is without Wentz, and wr’s Jeffery and Hollins but that d-line makes up for a lot of shortcomings. Fantasy-wise, you’ve got better options than Nick Foles but te Ertz and Ajayi should get you a few points. On t’udder side you’re starting Julio because you’re not stupid and he’s had 4 straight games against Atlanta with 100+ yards. You should grab De’vonta as well if you have him.* What say I wrap this up? I’m not going to tell anything to anyone that they didn’t already know.

*Minor Rant: Tevin Coleman has got to be one of the top 5 rb’s catching the ball out of the backfield and yet OC Sarkasian saw fit last year to give him 3 or more catches in only 6(!) of 17 games last year. This is Coleman’s last year as a Falcon and he is going to blow up with the team that brings him on board next year. Stupid rant over.

Well, it’s your time to get after it. Do it.

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

This is gonna end in some hilariously bad fashion, so stay tuned! Or not, probably better if you don’t.

herodotus450

Well I’m glad this game is almost over and look forward to the next football game in 12 months.

Col. Duke LaCross

And that is your official Al Michaels thinly veiled GAMBLOR comment of the night.

King Hippo

I appreciate how he always has action going

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s legal now, why can’t he just say what he really wants to say?

King Hippo

everybody holds…sometimes

King Hippo

so just reeeeeeeeeee-kick

ALXMAC

hooooolldd on

ballsofsteelandfury

Have they gone four plays in a row without a penalty? Seriously.

King Hippo

ah love a death blow OPI

Brocky

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King Hippo

that’s fookin’ great

Sharkbait

If Roe v.Wade is repealed, does that mean abortions like this game would be outlawed?

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s good

Gratliff

Nope, because they’d still be available for the same rich conservatives that own these teams

King Hippo

nice!

Senor Weaselo

No, but only because it profits rich white men.

makeitsnowondem

Definitely in Georgia but probably not in Pennsylvania.

fleshwound_NPG

new clubhouse leader

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Gratliff

Heads and shoulders above the competition

makeitsnowondem

That’s phenomenal.

Senor Weaselo

Oh goody, Notre Dame playing Ball State. Someone ask me if I care!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

-Blair Walsh

King Hippo

this is so shitty it’s art now

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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makeitsnowondem

What in the hell am I watching?

The Maestro

The Aristocrats!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Yay Coleman… on my bench, dammit. And praise Doink!

ballsofsteelandfury

ALL HAIL DOINK!

The Maestro

HAIL SHANK’LOR!!!

fleshwound_NPG

DOOOOOIIIINNNNKKKK

Gratliff

THE DEITIES ARE ALIVE

Gratliff

I really don’t have the patience for an ugly game that goes well past midnight and ends up a loss

Sharkbait

Not Freemandown

King Hippo

OT is BACK on the menu, bitches!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup

King Hippo

or nae

/back to my earlier 12-10 or 13-12 query

Wakezilla

THIS FALCONS/EAGLES GAME, I CALL IT THE 2017-2018 HOMBOLDT BRONCOS BECAUSE IT’S AN ABSOLUTE BUS WRECK.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I really kinda wish he’d returned that for the six. Now it’s gonna cost me goddammit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Told ya.

Sharkbait

This game is a dumpster fire.

Senor Weaselo

Derpflection pick!

Brocky

Random thought, why isn’t steve sabol in the hall of fame? I mean, yeah it doesn’t mean much now, with both him and his dad passing, but still, put him in.

Col. Duke LaCross

Between NFL Films and Burt Reynolds movies, my childhood is officially dead.

King Hippo

anything you can HURP ah can DURP better!

The Maestro

MOAR PICKERCEPTIONS FOAR ALL HAIL CHAOS HAIL BLEERGH

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

lol Iggles (part 2)

King Hippo

this is approaching that AZ/SEA 6-6 draw in it’s shitty gloriousness

Gratliff

Welp.

Wakezilla

I can think of another thing that razzle dazzles and it’s inches long

/hip thrusts

Gratliff

Fuck it. Trick plays every down.

Wakezilla

NFL Networks should have a 10 year cap on colour commentators. Like, you get 10 years of employment, you have to sit out a year to keep them fresh. Collinsworth has been mailing it in for way too long.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Kay Adams has a lifetime contract in my heart.

Brocky

I legit looked at that name for like 4 minutes because I thought you were referring to a pornstar

theeWeeBabySeamus

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The Maestro

10 is generous. I’d go five at most.

fleshwound_NPG

Matt Ryan was never good.

Brocky

so…. I found a thing….

full seizure warning, just cause:

http://csh.bz/line/05xp.html

Senor Weaselo

Page 10? That’s great hustle, ass-slaps all around!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

perhaps lots of players have moneys on the other team? Especially the quartered backs.

Senor Weaselo

See what happens when we legalize sports betting?

King Hippo

Father and Mother Pence was RIGHT!

Brick Meathook

wow, he really doesn’t care
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Brick Meathook

sorry i’m watching a different game

King Hippo

just don’t fuck with his cloves, or ignore the present he leaves on the front porch

makeitsnowondem

Matty Icepick

Wakezilla

The top teams in the NFC, everyone!

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’ll work. Thank Christ #96 wasn’t on the field to fuck it up that time.

Senor Weaselo

It’s the first Matty Iceception of the year!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

this has been some ELITE QB pitch-shitting, imaginary friends

Gratliff

Why is every pass not a jump ball to Jones in the end zone?