Look at me over here, chortling with joy. Man, this takes me back to high school and my first girlie friend. After a few sessions of furtive squeezing and such she said, “this shirt is so uncomfortable”. She got up, took off said shirt and then said, “should I take off my bra too?” and turned away from me. My throat went a bit dry and I mumbled, “yah”. My first peak at real boobs was about to happen-the anticipation of seeing real, soft, milky-white chest appendages was almost too much to endure.
Why do I mention this? Well, as a jaded adult in a world not of my own making there’s very little that cranks my propellers but the start of yet another football season will have to do. Certainly, there’s no real comparison between what 15 year-old me and old-ish, drink-sodden, somewhat functional yours truly was feeling but if I’m able to take you back to a time when breasts were nude and exciting, well, My work here is done. Btw, your mom’s boobs don’t count. Perv. You know what does count? Tonight’s tilt! TO THE GAME!
Falcons vs. Eagles:
You know the old saying, Birds of a feather will play football together? Philly is without Wentz, and wr’s Jeffery and Hollins but that d-line makes up for a lot of shortcomings. Fantasy-wise, you’ve got better options than Nick Foles but te Ertz and Ajayi should get you a few points. On t’udder side you’re starting Julio because you’re not stupid and he’s had 4 straight games against Atlanta with 100+ yards. You should grab De’vonta as well if you have him.* What say I wrap this up? I’m not going to tell anything to anyone that they didn’t already know.
*Minor Rant: Tevin Coleman has got to be one of the top 5 rb’s catching the ball out of the backfield and yet OC Sarkasian saw fit last year to give him 3 or more catches in only 6(!) of 17 games last year. This is Coleman’s last year as a Falcon and he is going to blow up with the team that brings him on board next year. Stupid rant over.
Well, it’s your time to get after it. Do it.
This game…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voCl-d5ZqGM
This is gonna end in some hilariously bad fashion, so stay tuned! Or not, probably better if you don’t.
Well I’m glad this game is almost over and look forward to the next football game in 12 months.
And that is your official Al Michaels thinly veiled GAMBLOR comment of the night.
I appreciate how he always has action going
It’s legal now, why can’t he just say what he really wants to say?
everybody holds…sometimes
so just reeeeeeeeeee-kick
hooooolldd on
Have they gone four plays in a row without a penalty? Seriously.
ah love a death blow OPI
that’s fookin’ great
If Roe v.Wade is repealed, does that mean abortions like this game would be outlawed?
That’s good
Nope, because they’d still be available for the same rich conservatives that own these teams
nice!
No, but only because it profits rich white men.
Definitely in Georgia but probably not in Pennsylvania.
new clubhouse leader
Heads and shoulders above the competition
That’s phenomenal.
Oh goody, Notre Dame playing Ball State. Someone ask me if I care!
-Blair Walsh
this is so shitty it’s art now
What in the hell am I watching?
The Aristocrats!
Yay Coleman… on my bench, dammit. And praise Doink!
ALL HAIL DOINK!
HAIL SHANK’LOR!!!
DOOOOOIIIINNNNKKKK
THE DEITIES ARE ALIVE
I really don’t have the patience for an ugly game that goes well past midnight and ends up a loss
Not Freemandown
OT is BACK on the menu, bitches!!
shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup
or nae
/back to my earlier 12-10 or 13-12 query
THIS FALCONS/EAGLES GAME, I CALL IT THE 2017-2018 HOMBOLDT BRONCOS BECAUSE IT’S AN ABSOLUTE BUS WRECK.
I really kinda wish he’d returned that for the six. Now it’s gonna cost me goddammit.
Told ya.
This game is a dumpster fire.
Derpflection pick!
Random thought, why isn’t steve sabol in the hall of fame? I mean, yeah it doesn’t mean much now, with both him and his dad passing, but still, put him in.
Between NFL Films and Burt Reynolds movies, my childhood is officially dead.
anything you can HURP ah can DURP better!
MOAR PICKERCEPTIONS FOAR ALL HAIL CHAOS HAIL BLEERGH
lol Iggles (part 2)
this is approaching that AZ/SEA 6-6 draw in it’s shitty gloriousness
Welp.
I can think of another thing that razzle dazzles and it’s inches long
/hip thrusts
Fuck it. Trick plays every down.
NFL Networks should have a 10 year cap on colour commentators. Like, you get 10 years of employment, you have to sit out a year to keep them fresh. Collinsworth has been mailing it in for way too long.
Kay Adams has a lifetime contract in my heart.
I legit looked at that name for like 4 minutes because I thought you were referring to a pornstar
10 is generous. I’d go five at most.
Matt Ryan was never good.
so…. I found a thing….
full seizure warning, just cause:
http://csh.bz/line/05xp.html
Page 10? That’s great hustle, ass-slaps all around!
perhaps lots of players have moneys on the other team? Especially the quartered backs.
See what happens when we legalize sports betting?
Father and Mother Pence was RIGHT!
wow, he really doesn’t care
sorry i’m watching a different game
just don’t fuck with his cloves, or ignore the present he leaves on the front porch
Matty Icepick
The top teams in the NFC, everyone!
That’ll work. Thank Christ #96 wasn’t on the field to fuck it up that time.
It’s the first Matty Iceception of the year!
this has been some ELITE QB pitch-shitting, imaginary friends
Why is every pass not a jump ball to Jones in the end zone?