Your Monday Night Football Doubleheader Open Thread

Man, I very much enjoyed the games I watched yesterday. You say, ‘derp’ and I say, ‘how does a team overcome the derp’ or ‘how does a team take advantage of the derp?”. Derp is an intrinsic part of the game and I love it. Except Ereck Flowers-oriented derp-that’s a bridge too fucking far. That’s like making fun of a developmentally-challenged team trainer being given the chance to play with the starters in a high school game.

Another Observation: Hippo brought it up in one of the threads yesterday (I think) and it bears repeating to all you silly fantasy folks out there. #workthatwaiverwire Seriously, look for guys that are getting increasing amounts of touches as the season progresses-they’re working their way into the starting lineup/earning their position coach’s trust. Your wr on a potent O has a nagging hammy? Grab his backup. Them injuries tend to linger and the ball is going to end up in that guy’s hands at some point. A rook rb starts getting put into 3rd down passing packages? Grab him before someone else does. I’ll shut up now. TO THE GAMES!

Jetskis/Lions:

Don’t ask me how or why but I watched two (2!) Lions preseason games. Don’t send thoughts or prayers, just send more booze. Anywaggle, maybe Patricia The Stripper was goofing around with personnel groupings but wowza!, that D was positioned badly and seemed surprised at very obvious things that an O would run. I’ve said it recently-I’ll say it again:Stafford is going to have some awesome numbers if he can stay upright. His rookie counterpart-the object of much cautious optimism in the New York area-won’t have the stats to compare but if he gets his reads right, he’ll end up with the W.

Rammers/Raiders:

Khalil Mack embarrassed not just the Packers last night but also the Raiders. That’s one hell of a hill to climb right out of the gate Sisyphus, er, I mean, Jon. USA Today ranked qb Goff as the twenty-first best in the league just behind Derek Carr. How? What? C’mon now!

Go out there and make some friends in the comments.

 

 

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Commercial free show! Right after this commercial!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

This looks really fake to me, but I can’t point to any one thing that would make me think that.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I make fake for a living and that ain’t fake.

Doktor Zymm

The most obvious would be the fact that dude isn’t wet at all

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Could also be that they cut it just before the crash.

Doktor Zymm

A competitive Monday Night game? This can’t last, right?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

-Blair Walsh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Damn you. I’m starving over here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SOOORRY.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m sitting at the bar waiting for my carryout order and drooling

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Usually there is a lot of bitching about how Chicago type is not real pizza; it’s eat that like I was going down on Charlize Theron.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

FUCK YO CHAIN

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Did you hear that Aqib Talib punched out 2Chainz in the offseason? Twice, apparently.

King Hippo

awwwww, Two of the Good Ones smh

Fronkenshteen

I know a local dime piece that banged out Peter from “Office Space” on vacation in Napa Valley. That make me famous?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That sentence was like from the 1930s. I’m high and I just felt like I was in a time machine.

Fronkenshteen

Oh she’s so gorgeous too. I was gazing at her once, and my boss at the time just slid over and said, ” She has a beautiful vagina”. FUCKER!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Don’t be jealous; I’m sure yours is pretty too.”

-Fronkenshteen (before getting fired)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How high?

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the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Anyone else fans of Top Gear (the proper one, not the new rubbish)?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Of course.

Senor Weaselo

Yes.

Fronkenshteen

I think Raider fans’ devotion is admirable, but fuck that organization for making NFL teams play on a goddamn sandlot for all these years.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

New game: Jon Gruden the announcer evaluates Jon Gruden’s coaching tonight.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

THIS GUY, I CALL HIM A GRUDEN GRINDER BECAUSE HIS NAME IS GRUDEN AND HE GRINDS FILM!

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Booger, your thoughts?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I’ve been going to this high school for SEVEN AND A HALF YEARS. I’m no dummy!

Doktor Zymm

You gotta catch that INT like, 70% of the time!

Wakezilla

Why commit to a rebuild? They aren’t that far away

Wakezilla

It’s nice to not hear Collinsworth or Sims tonight. Lets make that permanent.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Better work on Fozz’s alibi

The Maestro

Update: those Doritos never stood a goddamn chance.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NEXT!

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

120+ penalty yards, that good ole reliable Raiders discipline.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Currently sitting in 50th place in my fan duel 50/50. STILL IN THE MONEY! (barely)

Senor Weaselo

50 win, 50 are murdered. WHO WILL WIN AND WHO WILL DIE?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Spot PI penalties are the worst.

Doktor Zymm

Pffft

Senor Weaselo

I just realized you have a new kitty sniper!

Doktor Zymm

There are 3 or so, and WordPress randomly switches the sometimes

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

pew pew pew

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well, that is not helping my need for Derek Carr to outscore Jared Goff.

King Hippo

Pickerception WOO!!! I can hear LA ROAR all the way on the East Coast!

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

That was needed.

King Hippo

indeed

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Agree to disagree

King Hippo

as long as we all agree on the #BFIB joyousness! 😀

Wakezilla

Raiders have Lynch and Muscle Hamster? 2014 is envious of that backfield

Wakezilla

I haven’t seen a Cook drag a Johnson like that since Mario Balotelli

King Hippo

Looks like I will be 1-for-3 in Survivor/Loser pools, as I took RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! in DFO’s

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I LOVE THE DIRT. I WISH IT WAS MUD.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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WCS

I never knew Jason Voorhees played for the Vikings, though, it does make sense.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good.

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King Hippo

THIS GUY gets it!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

-Blair Walsh

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

This never gets old.

King Hippo

foiled by teh dirt!!

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Score that an E-4

WCS

BBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

/I am drunk, and I’ve been solo dad for two extremely angry babies since around 15:30.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Serious question: What happened to the Raider’s field and how have they not fixed it by now?

Wakezilla

Dirt Raiders play their home games at the Colliseum. Regular Baseball season ends late September

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They share it with MLB.

King Hippo

goddamnit, Baby Buster!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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John Difool
John Difool

Andrew Whitworth mic’d up gives us the “Aww Shucks” aspect of the game

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

How is that PI?

Wakezilla

High altitude hiking helps. But it’s mainly the HGH

Senor Weaselo

He meant high ground hiking!

King Hippo

#BFIB 8, Dirt Stillers 7. FINAL!

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

I still want a raw feed of these mic’d up players

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Come on; don’t get so sexual about this.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

So I stand corrected about this being the last year of a baseball diamond on an NFL field, because I thought this was their last year in Oakland, but I guess they have two more years or so in Oakland still.

So, this is almost the last time you’ll see one.

Wakezilla

What’s with the extension(s)? Davis not really enamored to going to Vegas?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Why not call an audible when the D is clearly blitzing?

Doktor Zymm

Why no throw to Tamari?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Also Brewers fans are the nastiest baseball fanbase I’ve dealt with. Do not root for them

John Difool
John Difool

I forgot the Brewers were even a baseball team not in Canada

John Difool
John Difool

This playing football on a baseball field thing is taking me back to my youth. Butterscotch candy anyone?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Maestro

Thinking about buying a monster truck to go run over some old shit in the junkyard. Probably gonna name it Carshawn Lynch.

Mother Puncher
Mother Puncher

Jon Gruden looks like Frank Caliendo doing an impersonation of Jon Gruden

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Spur
Spur

This is actual a good game so far.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Tubby Wade looks LA trim, after watching the mountainous Matt Patricia for 3.5 hours.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Just tuning in. Hurrah for the dirt field!

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Call Spider 2 Y Banana!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Woo, flights booked for Spain next July! Does leaving the country over 7/4 mean I hate America?

the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

It means you better have a good excuse if you want to be allowed back in.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you wearing Nikes when you leave?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

Also the college of the Ozarks volleyball team. However will Nike survive the loss of their business?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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