Your Monday Night Football Doubleheader Open Thread

Man, I very much enjoyed the games I watched yesterday. You say, ‘derp’ and I say, ‘how does a team overcome the derp’ or ‘how does a team take advantage of the derp?”. Derp is an intrinsic part of the game and I love it. Except Ereck Flowers-oriented derp-that’s a bridge too fucking far. That’s like making fun of a developmentally-challenged team trainer being given the chance to play with the starters in a high school game.

Another Observation: Hippo brought it up in one of the threads yesterday (I think) and it bears repeating to all you silly fantasy folks out there. #workthatwaiverwire Seriously, look for guys that are getting increasing amounts of touches as the season progresses-they’re working their way into the starting lineup/earning their position coach’s trust. Your wr on a potent O has a nagging hammy? Grab his backup. Them injuries tend to linger and the ball is going to end up in that guy’s hands at some point. A rook rb starts getting put into 3rd down passing packages? Grab him before someone else does. I’ll shut up now. TO THE GAMES!

Jetskis/Lions:

Don’t ask me how or why but I watched two (2!) Lions preseason games. Don’t send thoughts or prayers, just send more booze. Anywaggle, maybe Patricia The Stripper was goofing around with personnel groupings but wowza!, that D was positioned badly and seemed surprised at very obvious things that an O would run. I’ve said it recently-I’ll say it again:Stafford is going to have some awesome numbers if he can stay upright. His rookie counterpart-the object of much cautious optimism in the New York area-won’t have the stats to compare but if he gets his reads right, he’ll end up with the W.

Rammers/Raiders:

Khalil Mack embarrassed not just the Packers last night but also the Raiders. That’s one hell of a hill to climb right out of the gate Sisyphus, er, I mean, Jon. USA Today ranked qb Goff as the twenty-first best in the league just behind Derek Carr. How? What? C’mon now!

Go out there and make some friends in the comments.

 

 

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Brocky

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King Hippo

Thanks, you brought one for Hippo. I have the pills if she has the Daddy issues!

SonOfSpam
Brocky

King Hippo: What’s there to discuss? 3rd and 1, you have Todd Fucking Gurley.

Yeah I’m just gonna go ahead and post this right here:

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King Hippo

yes, this was also covered in the comments of this am’s Hippo Thoughts. I run it not once, but twice, at that tired Packers’ front.

Brocky

welll, it bears repeating

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This year is gonna suck ass.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And now my cat just puked on the coffee table.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Probably better than on the carpet, like mine did earlier.
Easier to clean.
Unless you had some really good magazines up there.

SonOfSpam

Don’t let him watch the Raiders, you monster.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And of course I’m also going to lose my fantasy matchup by less than a point because of those last couple of meaningless runs by Gurley.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Least you improve your waiver wire position?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I scored the 3rd most points in the league, lost to the guy who scored the 2nd most, so no.

SonOfSpam

Do you have any bad poker beats you could share?

King Hippo

OUCH. Has your wife at least admitted you were right about the strawberry thing?

yeah right

I am swallowed.
By the vast emptiness.
In life.
Should I go on?
I feel the desire.
To live.
Fleeting.
The void looms.
I want to join it.
Emptiness.

– D. Carr

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Brocky

God damn it all. I have so much fuel for fantasy gods hate, but I still am all fucking tore up about not writing a finale last year. fuck.

Mabye I should stop bitching about my own problems and make my own decisions……

maybe i should eat some more taco flavored doritos.

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Gatoraids
Gatoraids

David Carr being driven by Tounces
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King Hippo

men do NAE talk to each other like that, stupid ABC drama commercial

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I haven’t seen Derek Carr play much (maybe two or three games) but he has never not sucked when I’ve seen him.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is without question the worst half of football I’ve ever seen him play.

King Hippo

amazingly, it wasn’t even the worst QBing we saw tonight!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m beginning to think Derek Carr may not be good.

Senor Weaselo

Well, that’ll do it, complete with a Marshawn. Judges give it a 6.5.

yeah right

Grab mah dick!

Col. Duke LaCross

Did Peters just do the Marshawn “grab the nuts” dive?

King Hippo

ESPN gave us a replay, too.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Game. Set. Match.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

King Hippo

meh, I would have likely gone for that

theeWeeBabySeamus

Gruden looks a little too proud of himself foar my liking.

King Hippo

I mean, all he has accomplished is to steal $100M from a mentally challenged man. Hardly something to put on airs about.

yeah right

That’s actually a pretty solid accomplishment where I come from.

yeah right

“The Rams bring in three tights here.”
Three tights? Motherfucker you’re job is to get paid to speak. Say the goddamn words!

Earlier Beth said “The former O Cord.”
What the fuck man? Everything doesn’t have to be a fucking text!

Jesus!

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

I can’t listen to Beth broadcasts because her voice is so grating

SonOfSpam

GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

GD it Gurly is boss

King Hippo

reminds me of Eric Dickerson a decent bit

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Fair comparison

King Hippo

This is a beautiful, professional execution. Nice 2nd half, RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beerguyrob

Khalil Mack looking more like a genius every minute.

King Hippo

Rikki Tikki Deadly Reacts Reasonably

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Carr with a DUI

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

QUIT BLAMING THE DIRT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

THESE RAIDERS, I CALL THEM MY APPENDIX BECAUSE THEY’RE FUCKING USELESS AND SHOULD GET OUT OF MY SYSTEM

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Yours hasn’t burst yet? Lucky SOB.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Robert Woods is basically trying to make fetch happen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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SonOfSpam

Collie Kaepernick?

King Hippo

What’s there to discuss? 3rd and 1, you have Todd Fucking Gurley.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Double reverse?

King Hippo

SEE?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Oh sure. It looks easy when it works.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

“Tell me about it”

–Marshawn Lynch–

yeah right

Rams D line has been mighty quiet.
That’s a lot of cash for mighty quiet.

King Hippo

#TrustTehTubbyWade

yeah right

Wade Philips looks like a runway model after Matt Patricia.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was gonna go to the beach this weekend.
I’m not anymore. Fuck you, Florence.

King Hippo

You could probably get quite the discount!

theeWeeBabySeamus

National Guard Discount, fo’ Sho’.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Dude, the waves will be epic!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Charlie Don’t Surf

theeWeeBabySeamus

Storm surge is sumpin’ I don’t fuck with. Once was enough. That shit will kill ya…quick.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

King Hippo

Not to be uncouth, but Carr is quite the pussy.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

He doesn’t want to risk his mascara running.

King Hippo

I don’t NC State’s Ryan Finley wasting away there, though he is from Vegas, so I guess in a few years he would be all like WOO!

King Hippo

KuppDOWN!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

That’s one hell of a catch by Cooks

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

theeWeeBabySeamus

This ALXMAC, I call him Valentine’s Day because I love that fucker.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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theeWeeBabySeamus

shush

Wakezilla

Just as a reminder on Bashar al-Asad’s birthday, US has an alliance and is arming and funding al Qaeda in Syria to fight against al Assad.

I’m sure that won’t go wrong.

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Senor Weaselo

Hekker with a heckin’ good punt.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Dang! Did everybody go to sleep and/or pass out?
I’m on the west coast, dammit!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

And it’s a good game too!

Wakezilla

Too many east coasters

yeah right

Still here and ready to party.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I had to eat. Pants off and glass full now though.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ditto all of that….and more.

King Hippo

was thinking “wow, what great run blocking” and then all “HAI, BLEERGH!!”

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

BEEF MOE!!

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

oh thats some funny shit. ESPN audio just played a techno disco track assuming that it was going to commercial. All hail the B team!!

King Hippo

Baby Buster from Marin, eh? Makes sense.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose!

Wakezilla

Hey, it’s 9/11 on the east coast. It’s Bashar al Assad’s birthday

King Hippo

I hope everybody gets what they wished FOAR!!!

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

So our super duper half time show performance is 3/4 of Boyz II Men and that girl that I think does Nationwide commercials?

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Pre taped no less. The way they teased it, you’d think it was live.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

What happened to the 1/4 of Boyz II Men? Did he die? Did he pull a Mike Nesmith?