Gawd! The hairs on my back are standing at attention! They’re nothing like my ‘cut and run’ nipples, I’ll tell you. I just can’t count on them anymore-well, not past three anyway. It’s the Jizziants vs. the Cowfolk for all the glory. What do these teams have in common? They both think that if they get out of this game with a 1-1 record there’s a clear path to a wild card spot. Shall we pretend to break this game down to all its individual parts and come up with a reasoned argument as to which team will come out with the W? Let’s! TO THE GAME!
Giants/Dallas:
For about 6 or so years in a row the NFL sked-makers have thrown this one up the first week of the year. Major curveball this year-it’s the 2nd week of the season. What a difference seven days makes! I can’t get too angry about the Giants loss last week to a Jags team that seems likely to steamroll themselves right back to the AFC Championship Game. They exposed New York for what it is-a generally upgraded team that still has some worrisome issues. [gives Flowers the stink-eye] Hopefully mistakes will decrease as the year goes on and te Engram has successful Cris Carter hand-transplant surgery. Negotiations are still on-going. The shine has really come off the Dakster hasn’t it? He’s thrown for under 200 yards in 8 of his last 11 games and is far from the difference-maker he seemed to be when he first arrived on the scene. If only coaches didn’t have game film to watch! Darn it all. Dallas fans are warming up the bus and their throwing arms in anticipation of the inevitable.
I’m tired of typing. It’s your turn.
Alright. Much like Ray Rice, I’m punching out. See you all here for MNF?
Later, Taters!
Go Bears!
(They’re going to break our hearts again)
If the Bears can break your heart…
….it isn’t filled with enough gravy?
My Bears fan heart has been black and cold for a while and that Satan Pact Making Aaron Rodgers reminded me last week why it’s dead.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQPJ22A8ICo
I think there’s an echo in here.
Inception
Alright, you win. I have to eat.
Alright, who broke DFO?
Jeff Hardy’s hell in a cell bump looked stupid and I hope he is OK.
The Roman Reigns/Braun match was stupid. I know they mail it in during this quarter, but Holy shit that was a bad Raw ending, let alone a PPV finish
I’m a little disappointed the real video is no longer available on youtube, but still a good damn song.
I miss Chris, even tho I never actually met him (came close twice tho).
G’ night, folks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpMfZPAc1kg
Could more to the story, or that’s it, not sure.
The weird part is that the nekkid dude crossing the street isn’t my biggest question.
Who brings all the goats to the YARD?!?!
“2.4 million relocated as ‘Super typhoon’ Mangkhut hits China”
Super Typhoon? Christ, that sounds terrifying.
Also, tee hee hee…. Mangkhut
I guess we’ve finally found out why.
Holy shit, that’s awesome.
That is an impressive cock.
Rats.
You could glue one to your face.
The tail makes it cooler.
I think she means facial hair, could be face rats tho.
Well, that’s one way a chicken can fly high
Showoff!
He gets a lot of pu…..
(never mind)
Plot twist. It’s actually a food cart.
Here’s a hot taek: Gob’s version is better than the Stones’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ai-0_NoNit4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=10&v=PpwueJKa8-E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_5kFaHL6CA
I really need to reincorporate the word “nimrod” in my daily language.
And listen to less Green Day.
Good lord.
You’re half correct….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4ZKlT1EvCA
Admin, can I get moderator privileges to remove this filth?
I am your moderator.
And no.
Well that ends that discussion.
If I was a moderator, this would NAWT be the end of the discussion.
I would have ended it much earlier. And with myself on the banner.
After a quick google search, I found out that Cassie Brown is 101 years old.
In base-4?
Must have google the wrong Cassie Brown.
First of all, she would be 99 years old. Second, she’s been dead for 21 years.
Longer than this lass has been alive.
Good thing I don’t tutor College students in math
Just looking at her, I can count to two. Four if she turns around.
24 if she takes her shoes off.
OK, my ass is half that old and doesn’t look anywhere near that good.
THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17qy93aHO7Q
Yes, that is Neve Campbell.
Wow!
Right?
I miss KITH…
Golly.
Just about to ask that.
Good lord.
DFO Pizza Parlor…
What’s the porn version of “The House With The Clock In Its Walls”?
“The Horse With The Cock and Balls”?
Alternate title: The Ann Coulter Story.
/never gets erect again
At our age, probably for the best.
I don’t do beastiality.
For cheap.
The Ho with a Cock in her Sugar Walls?
How fucking hot was Sheena Easton? (Answer: Quite)
I support this opinion.
Immensely.
OK, this party just went off the rails.
“When you think of Italy, what do you think of?”
“Perillo Tours!”
That is approximately the final thing I think of.
I mostly think of dumbass greaseballs in wifebeaters who probably are wifebeaters, but some people are just haters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOllF3TgAsM
My least favorite kind of bush.
Finally some good music around here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0
That song is the Mars Attacks of music.
Jack Nicholson’s best work.
Yeah, and he’s the one who always gave me shit about the stuff I post on Request Line, and he pulls this shit.
Obligatory: DUDE!?!?!?!?!
Except…you love this song. It was a gift. Asshole.
No, I do not. In spite appearances at times, I do have some standards.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
/breathes
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I clearly said “SOME” standards.
YMMV.
Does she have all of her permanent teeth yet?
/looks at back of hand
Nope.
Hehehehe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGfVOdTiUEc
Rudyard Kipling is really pissed about this song.
So is anyone else who has ears.
Great song.
Though, this song would get played too much at school dances. It was hard because that meant you had to slow dance, which meant you kept having to tell yourself to not get an erection when dancing with a girl.
Puberty is the worst
Just lie on top of her and put your hand over her mouth. Next stop, Supreme Court!
Um, hey.
That’s your opinion.
Oh, one of THOSE people.
Yeah, well, it is was it is.
Night Gallery is on, and it’s being narrated by Orson Welles. So there’s that.
What’s Up With Those Pillows, Part II
Night Folks
You need to do an equal opportunity post before leaving.
For tWBS of course.
Yes, I gotta have the D.
Oh,she is quite the cup of tea
She both pops AND locks!
Odell just needed a little more pizza and cocaine.
On to Sacramento!
If you haven’t, go read A Confederacy of Dunces
Great read.
/belches
Dallas Wins
The spread was DAL minus 3.5 … right?
3 to 4, depending on the service.
Nice try, Brett
Hahaha….Gigantes gon’ totes kick a FG here and almost cover my predicted 6.5.
But when they do it WON’T COST US $6K THIS TIME YES I’M STILL PISSED OFF ABOUT THAT SHIT.
OK, seriously Spur, I wasn’t planning to rub one out tonight, but if you keep up with the Sara Jean gifs I can’t make any promises.
That requires…planning?
And clean towels.
I really don’t remember that scene from Star Wars.
Eli is totally the little girl that Lewis Carroll wrote Alice in Wonderland for
Seems way too annoyed for being at the beach. 2/10, would throw off balcony.
She looks like she’s working up the nerve to jump off.
Is it illegal to give her a nudge? Just a little one?
That depends – yelled at the cop next door recently?
(iOs autocorrect filled in “GOP” for “cop” as I was typing)
Hahahaha….touché.
So I guess I should lay low for a coupla days. Good advice.
(you’re funny, btw….you need to write for the blog)
And the dumbass cop is two doors down I’ll have you know!!!!!!!!
Hee. No snark or offense (or advice) intended.
No I know. Like I said, you’re funny.
And please do consider writing for us if you’re so inclined. I think you’d be a great addition.
I’ll reach out in a few days and we can talk more about it if that’s ok?
Sure…hadn’t really thought about it, but let’s talk. (Except that I can’t figure out how to see PMs any more, so will have to figure that out first presumably.) Gotta go for now – well past my bedtime, and long day at work tomorrow. G’night, all.
No worries. I’ll shoot you an email in a coupla days after this hurricane stops messing up my life.
Sleep well.
that’s not good
Oh gigantes, your hope is adorbs
Cris Collinsworth’s voice is the voice of every man who knows the age of consent laws in every municipality.
That’s why he loves Bills home games.
This bar has dogs and I’m petting all of them
Best bar ever
If you didn’t I would be disappointed!
Touchdown… Giants?
Just in time!
Cris: “Don’t throw fags …”
Oy.
I mean, he’s not wrong. Don’t throw your butts into the forest! Only you can prevent forest fires!
I already took a shot when he said “saul” instead of “saw.”
I have to work tomorrow!
Einstein knew what he was talking about.
So you’re saying he was correct, relatively speaking?
(get it?)
NERD!
LOL
What is he puttng down there?
eau de toilette?
Extra cheese. smgdh
He’s retrieving wrinkled dollar bills. It was a slow night.
A twenty for the cab ride home.
Rohypnol.
That’s how you protect your skin in a dry climate.
People gave the Giants shit for passing on a QB in this draft but did you consider they’ll be so shitty this year they’ll get the best QB in next year’s draft? Checkmate motherfuckers
“Oh yeah?”-Arizona Cardinals
Carson Palmer’s remains will be offered as tribute
Ahh, the long con.
Sun rises, Sean Lee gets injured, sun sets.
but now there are backups who can play
Death, taxes, Sean Lee injuries.
I think this is the least upset I’ve ever been at a cowboy win. And it’s mostly because damn, the NFC East blows this year
Deffo looking like the ‘Dacteds division to lose.
Sorry Philly, you know it’s true.
The Dacteds can only win the division because everyone else blows, it’s sad because it encourages Snyder
Well, yeah. But still.
Eagles are even off to a shaky start. I’m seeing a 6-10 wildcard berth coming up for someone.
The NFC East aka Satan’s Division being bad is extremely good
Eli is a sequin encrusted coin purse.