Every September, there is a weekly slate of games that is just refried ass. Welcome to said Saturday.
Georgia at Missouri (Noon, ESPN)
Both of these teams are undefeated, but only one is any good, and maybe not even one (thus the slight opportunity for a trap game).
Notre Dame at Wake Forest (Noon, ABC)
The Irish’ tour of various Sisters of the Poor continues in Winston-Salem this week. Another unimpressive win by less than a TD? Probably.
Texas A&M at Alabama (3:30, CBS)
Those glasses that Jimbo wears to make himself look less stupid? Ain’t gonna help today. CBS finally abandons UT/FL in its traditional slot, and it’s for this flaming bag of shit.
Clemson at Georgia Tech (3:30, ABC)
Hey looky-loo, a legitimate trap game! The Bees have been bad, but they can score (in a way your dead great grandpappy would approve of, except for all the blacks), and Son of Clem has a tendency to get flustered down Atlanta way. As always, I will be hoping that Dabo! dies.
South Cakalaky at Vanderbilt (4:00, SECN)
When in doubt, watch Vandy for the yuk-yuks. Today is that kind of day.
TCU at Texas (4:30, Fox)
Perhaps the only fixture of the day that I am legitimately looking forward to. Will Bloodeyes be all emotionally let down after shitting themselves against tOSU? Or will they be out for steer blood? Let’s hope for the latter, but I very much fear the former.
Mississippi State at Kentucky (7:00, ESPN2)
This’un is fairly interesting, too, with Kenfucky returning home heroes after breaking a 31 (or was it 32?) game losing streak in the series – dating back to Tim Fucking Couch – in Gainesville. Note to Big Blue – don’t be all reveling, because Cowbells are most definitely NAWT a perpetually overrated SEC East side.
Texas Tech at Oklahoma State (7:00, FS1)
You want points? Weird fetishes? Oh, does Guns Up!! and the BDSM State locals have a treat in store for y’all.
Stanford at Oregon (8:00, ABC)
Seriously, this is where the GameDay crew went. Does anybody really goddamned care about this? Is Oh-ray-GAWNE even ranked? /looks it up, they’s #20
Arizona State at Washington (10:30, ESPN)
Yet again, your tweaker fixture involves Herm Edwards. Draw your own conclusions. Also, 17.5 is WAY too big a spread here, as U-Dub isn’t much account neither, especially on offense.
Sitting in the sun while watching a bonfire has made me more red-faced than Daniel Snyder’s favourite Halloween costume.
We got a Pitch Invasion at Old Dominion!
scoring that TD gives VPI a chance. A 0.1% chance, but better than they had.
Old Dominion is just running up the score. Not complaining or chastising. Just updating everyone.
turkeys? even MOAR castrated
Miss. St. and Kentucky teams had a wee altercation and pre-game audio picked up a few things.
Fuck You! I’m more racist than you are!
Watch out! We’re coming after your adult literacy rates!
Rural poverty? I’ll show you rural fuckin’ poverty!
OK, that was funny.
Vtech learning the hard way that you DO NOT want to play AT ODU’s Fearsome Foreman Field.
The play by play dude calling the Texas/TCU game is the guy the Dodgers replaced Vin Scully with. His sibilants drive me fucking nuts.
“That makes the score 3-2 Dodgershh.”
Finish your fucking words properly butthole!
I like Will Grier. I’m seriously very happy he didn’t fuck us in the ass last week.
Thank you, Florence.
He was the best. I miss him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBiyVLt_7wI
How do I sign up to be a farmer?
ah, I get it now!
Da Big Baby Jesuses do not seem to have much on defense.
Great God almighty Dean Blandino is a raging fucking TOOL!
How big a donation ya reckon it’d take for them to change it to Ol’ Dirty Bastard University? It’s almost the same abbreviation.
ugh, thundersticks – I feel bad rooting for ODU now.
I don’t care what the score says-Florida International is the damn airport football team I’ve seen in quite some time.
I am the proud owner of an FIU baseball t-shirt Sir!!!!!!
(Friend was a catcher there)
((shirt is kinda falling apart at this point))
VT is starting to implode.
You can take the Vicks out of Vtech but you can’t take the Vtech… wait.
Nice murderball, Bloodeyes QB
I’m curious about how Apple Pan went…
Twas tasty. Like a counter style In-N-Out burger. People were really friendly.
Alright, I have to go pick up a new coffee table. See yinz later for the Fightin’ Herm Edwardses.
I’m sure it’ll still be at the end of that driveway tomorrow morning…
aka, the West Virginian IKEA
Resigned to missing Q1 of shitty wolves due to 4OT of VPI/ODU
2nd and 30? NFL BLITZ!
Every time I think I’m old I just remember that Bill Snyder graduated high school before I was born and I don’t feel so bad.
Bill Snyder graduated high school during the James K. Polk administration.
Bill Snyder is also admiring your neck arteries.
The problem with North Dakota all started when they changed their names from the Fighting Sioux to the Fighting Hawks.
Penn beat Lehigh! Everything’s coming up Milhouse!
Is it time to take a nap?
Yes it is.
I mean, if ya don’t care about teh NC State/Marshall game, so…sure
Why would I care about that game unless I was a small aircraft pilot or bus driver?
Hey ohhhh!!!! Even got the bus driver thing in.
Lorenzo Charles’ ghost is judging right now buddy.
you want to take self-hatred to a new, almost unfathomable level?
I love that banner quote.
It’s a good one.
I just spent more than four hours burning stuff and answering trivia questions. Best day I’ve had in a long time.
/just so you know, the step-mother’s house was on fire before I got there.
It’s true. You were with me!
VPI/Old Dominion is what to watch (CBSSN)
ODU using their backup QB, no less.
Awww, but PeachTV is showing Clark Atlanta vs. Kennesaw State!
Virgina Tech all tied up with the Old Dominion Monarchs
/revision/latest?cb=20090816233952
I’m up. I guess.
https://gfycat.com/AnimatedCelebratedHoatzin
Something’s up now, that’s for sure.
Jeebus, KState is holding like crazy and still can’t stop them.
Just got in-what game are we hate-watching?
Alabama? Always Alabama.
/Only game I’m not watching
I guess I’ll give TCU a gander.
#13 VT and Old Dominion are tied at 21.
Maybe Kstate should cover shis Sills guy. Or double cover. Or eleventycover.
Do you need to change your shorts yet?
No, but Lil’ WCS does.
Hahahaha
Yep, he stepped out just barely.
I’m sure glad we didn’t lose to WVU last week.
😛
(seriously folks, this could end up being your nat’l champs)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UNMgENyMUo&ab_channel=Dinky12
I’m okay with player faking injuries to stop no huddle offensives, just so long as they don’t make it obvious.
(falls down into fetal position) “OH MY GOD! I’M DYING! THE PAIN! THE PAIN!”
(trainer helps him up)
(skipping back to his sideline) ♫ “LA LA-LA LA-LA” ♫
Learning from their European counterparts.