[face is buried deep within his computer’s monitor]
Goff vs Minny? Hmm. Or maybe Wilson against the Cards? What to do? What to do?
Oh, hello there! I didn’t hear you click onto the site. You’re a sneaky one aren’t you? I was just going over my fantasy options and the window is closing fast with respect to putting Jared in there. But enough of my struggles. My, you are looking like quite the handsome devil/striking woman? Have you done something with your hair? No… you’ve lost a few pounds haven’t you? Whatever it is you are definitely carrying yourself well these days. Stalling? No, I’m not stalling-I just wanted you to know that you’re very much appreciated by me [word count is up to 120 buddy, you can do this] and all the other folks that converse on this here site. Er, um… TO THE GAME!
Vikes/Rammers:
I just don’t know what to make of this game. All the hot takes regarding Minny’s play last week have been taken so I’ve nothing to add. They gave away two quick TD scores as a result of fumbles deep in their end (as well as a field goal) and just seemed to be rattled and disoriented. Was Everson Griffen’s on-going erratic behavior something that caused the team to (for lack of a better word) stress? Position by position, the Vikes are talented up the ying yang so I expect that things will get back on track but the short turnabout, the travel and the fact that they’re playing a very, very good team doesn’t look promising for their short-term prospects. That said, Theilen and Diggs are facing backup corners all night long so scoring shouldn’t be an issue. I’m at a loss here.
What are you thinking? Should I play Goff? Also, you may want to weigh in on today’s shenanigans in Washington. Do your thing. You tend to do it well.
kinda loud on 3rd down there
LA football fans, who knew?!
Monsignor Peter Armstrong had five…count them FIVE superbowl rings as the official chaplain of the 49ers.
Go Goff go!
THIS RAMS SECONDARY, I CALL THEM WEST VIRGINIANS BECAUSE THEY’RE ALWAYS YELLING “FUCKING CUSINS!”
a possible good game on thursday night alert!
Slight distraction…which obscure NFL player has the most NFL rings? I mean like a player not necessarily a bench warmer…and not getting extra rings as a member of the coaching staff.
For example, I know Brandon Stokley has two rings, once for the Ravens and once for the Broncos. His numbers are garbage…yet he managed to pull out two rings more than many receivers with a lot more talent.
I got to imagine there is some guy with like 5 rings, who did fuck all but manage to bounce between the Pats and whoever beat the Pats in the Superbowl, like three seasons in a row.
Holy shit…Grumble Lord has fucking seven rings…
Joe green is crediited as a consultant for the steelers, so he’s got his own rings for the titles in 05 and 08
I can hardly call him obscure, but I find kind of absurd that matt millen has 4 super bowl rings and he’s a one time pro bowler.
Kinda a like proto type teddy bruschi.
And I mean this ignoring millen’s tenure as a gm.
Like bruschi he was a slightly above average linebacker that most people knew from playing in so many important games.
Patriots legit think bruschi is better than either ray lewis or urlacher
Ken Norton Junior has three in a row. (2 Cowboys, 1 Niners)
Probably tough to beat vanilla Brady, doesn’t hehave 5? Maybe some offensive lineman who went from 49ers to Cowboys in the 90s? Vinatieri only has 4.
Princeton Boy has two.
Brady and Charles Haley both have 5 apparently, the most for players.
https://www.si.com/nfl/2018/02/04/what-player-has-won-most-super-bowls-history
Horns.
https://twitter.com/AnthraxJones/status/1045473020192714752
thats a good funny
Huh. I never knew wade Phillips ever coached under buddy ryan
Troy Aikman in high school, the mind boggles. How long did it take him to find his way from locker to his homeroom
Holy shit! I’m older than Joe Buck! … I can still whoop his ass though.
Hey, who’s up for a game of Devil’s Triangle, which is totally a drinking game and not something that was completely made up to avoid acknowledging it was a reference to gang rape?
Goffy McGofferson don’t panic at all. Much composure.
Whenever these two teams play, the NFL should allow their helmets to be true to their mascots: big giant fucking horns, sharpened to points. Blood Shower Part II
That sunset could get in the QB’s eyes. The NFL should fine the Sun.
I bet Minnesota +7 and the over so this is a good start.
Vegas gave them seven points?!
I really wish I know how to sports gamble. I could really make some money with a line like that.
I could see me in this Verizon commercial, watching puke go flying off into the ether as I climbed one of those insane fucking towers.
primetime game played in daylight, like old school west coast superb owls
So this time next week, I will be in a steel mill just northeast of Amsterdam.
Question…what should I do on the weekends. I need to be able to pass a random drunk test at any given moment.
Utrecht is a cool town to hang out in. f you want beer Brouwerei N’Tij is awesome. They still use a windmill for their brewery and t is walking distance from Centraal Staton
Ride a bike in the countryside.
No, i’m not kidding.
Yep see the windmills.
Eat some tulip bulbs, puke into a canal, accuse random people of being Nazi sympathizers.
Walk around with a bloody bandage on your head & a plastic ear in your hand. Ask Dutch people if you’re “doing it right”.
[Vikes get a first down]
“That’s really important!” (because I am an air-filler that talks about things)
-Aikman
“That’s right, Joe.”
“When this guy plays hard, he’s playing hard. Because that’s what football is all about, playing hard.”
– John Madden
shit I really hope this turns into a shoot-out……
-Wyatt Earp, 1881
Those shadows are annoying me, you think Goodell could do something about them.
“It’s all a part of the atmussfear and game expeer’nce.” — Jerral Jones in conversation with Johnny Walker Blue
How fucking good do you have to be to be starting in the NFL and be 5’8?
That was the cause of me and my father’s biggest football argument.
“You can’t be short and play QB. You can’t see over your linemen.”
“You can be 7′ tall, but if you can’t get the ball to the receivers and not to the other guys, your height doesn’t count for shit.”
When Joe Buck is calling football, I’m almost sedate. When he is doing anything else I want to shove a broken beer bottle down his throat and then up his ass.
Joe Buck is the white version of Pootie Tang.
I have no fucking idea what he is specifically saying and inexplicably, folks around me seem to understand him.
His Stern interviews last year made me not hate him as much. The first game I saw him call after that, threw all that goodwill out the window.
This sun during a night game shit is freaky
Actually, do they just not normally do west coast night games early in the season? Seems like something we’d see more of.
I have a theory that the primary reason that people out in Cali think they are the center of the universe is because Monday Night Football is basically an afternoon game for them.
This is true except it’s New Yorkers that think they’re the center of the universe.
LA people just think we live in the best place in the world.
My sister used to live in Calabasas.
Once, I am outside of a bar in San Francisco. I am smoking a cig. Three white boys in dreds, sharing a joint the size of a baby’s arm, do the “cough cough share the air bro” to me. I am dumb founded. They are also bare footed which always grosses me out.
I walk back inside and one of them follows me, until the point he walks past me and into the kitchen to I guess finish his shift.
If it wasn’t for the weather, California would be considered to be worse than Gary, Indiana.
NoCal is a completely different place from LA.
We hate people from NoCal.
“Have I got news for you!”
-Copernicus
What night? This is afternoon, baby!
You know why – K. Irving.
I kind of like this Thursday Evening Football.
Is that Astroturf? If there is one place that fucking grass can easily grow and be maintained, its Cali.
It’s natural grass.
Yeah I just looked it up.
I swear unless it is close, it looks like astro-turf. I was brain farting.
That’s not astroturf. Its too rough.
Yeah…I am a drunk idiot. Disregard.
Just remember: if it doesn’t look like a parking lot painted green, its not astroturf.
Amazon Prime does nae work for me, but FoxSportsGo does
You would hate to miss this riveting duo of Aikman and Buck.
My take on the hearing.
I believe her. She was so credible that the local Trump radio was defending her to his rabid callers (while still saying that the assault would only be a misdemeanor, so partial credit awarded). Hell, Fox News believed her! But Kavanaugh was good with his opening statement. Him defending his family and not blaming Ford so the signs of an innocent man being wrongly persecuted. However, he kept saying he enjoyed beer at school. He was very sensitive about this when it was brought up. “I like beer. You like beer. We all like beer.”
Best Case Scenario (if you can call it best): Both of them are telling what they believe to be the truth. Ford believes she was assaulted by Kavanaugh (no doubt). But Kavanaugh was so drunk that he doesn’t have a full memory of that night. So he doesn’t know if he did or didn’t do it. However he doesn’t think he would ever do something as horrific as sexually assault someone so he’s fighting back like an innocent man.
Also, Feinstein was in a no win scenario. I don’t blame the GOP for calling out the Dems for questioning why they want more time for an investigation when their Ranking Member sat on the letter for two months. Maybe she could’ve pulled the Chairman aside and said “We got a problem with your guy” and say what but without saying who. That way they can look into it, but discretely. However, Ford did ask for confidentiality and she was obeying. Also, if the Dems are fighting dirty by delaying, the GOP was the ones that stole a Supreme Court seat from Obama. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it.
Either way, it completely sucks. The Supreme Court is going to be tarnished. The further division of this country is going to make the 1850s look like a minor dispute. Two peoples lives destroyed. And their families too.
God bless America! (fart noise)
While I have a general feeling of “Fuck Kavanaugh” anyway, this isn’t even a partisan divide outside of the vote, or at least among men it isn’t. It almost feels like women can be more cynical and political about it. With men, it seems like it’s divisive, but not necessarily party lines. I’d say there’s definitely a noticeable gap based on age where you’ll run across the occasional 40+ year old liberal that will respond to shit like reported sexual assault at frat parties with “HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DATE IN THIS DAY AND AGE WHEN SHE HAS TO BE CONSCIOUS FOR IT TO COUNT!?” It’s such a weird thing how the older generation that are always harping on the importance of families and shit are so completely dismissive of the agency and humanity of women. I don’t know if it’s really just not understanding how fucked up the whole thing is or if they’re worried they might have to answer for the shitty things they’ve done at some point, but there’s an unacceptably large segment of men on both sides of the aisle that want nothing more than to put their blinders up over the whole thing. Meanwhile, they can’t wrap their heads around the fact that the reason shit is coming down so hard is because we’re only 18 years removed from basically the entire nation slut shaming a fucking White House intern because the most powerful man in the world was using her to get off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu5HKs-IaM8
Agreed. All the old people that called in saying “If it was so bad, she should’ve call the cops” would be saying something different if it was their daughter.
If it was mine, I would hunt him down and give him 60 seconds to explain himself. His response would decide if I would give him a chiding or if I’d be calling the morgue for a pick up.
I mean, you can chide a corpse
“don’t think we’ve talked about officiating more than this year”
WHAT ABOUT THE REF STRIKE YEAR AND “TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS” YOU FUCKING MORON
Hippo and TWBS: check slack. I want to get agreement on our shame bet!
I do not have Slack this week.
Ok, so we can get this year’s shame bet in place, here are the terms:
Balls says neither the Rams nor the Bears will get to the Super Bowl.
Hippo says one of the two will.
If Balls wins, Hippo must take TWBS to the strip club of their choice and spend $100 on strippers to dance for TWBS.
If Hippo wins, Balls will make a $100 donation to the charity of Hippo’s choice.
Do we have a bet?
Do it!!!!!
My only role last year was that I confirm the bet was paid as agreed to. It was.
That will be my only role this year. AT THE MOST….. AND I’M NOT EVEN CONVINCED OF DOING THAT AGAIN.
I can find and, IF NECESSARY, pay for my own “companionship”
In North Carolina???
Granted, I do much better in California.
And the girls actually have teeth out there.
Why do you think I watch so much porn when I’m in NC?
😛
I notice teh Hippo is noticeably quiet…
oseans eleven
diaf, buck
I had a bit of a difficult falling out with a ladyfriend on Tuesday, where I had to be the asshole and pull the plug in the end, even though I kept telling her it wouldn’t go further than it was and definitely wasn’t about to go backwards. So while I know I did the right thing, I still feel like an asshole. But, it’s prompted me to wake up from my feeling of constant complacentness. Starting to work out again, eat better, drink (a little) less dive back into the dating world and just stop being so damn lazy all the time. So there’s that.
And looks like I’ll be watching the game at my buddy’s house tonight, so I’ll actually be around here for a bit.
I can definitely relate, my friend.
Well, all except the drinking less part. I might have a problem. Seriously, I’m afraid to stop drinking because I’ve been drinking so much lately that the withdrawals scare me.
No, I’m not kidding. Not much anyway.
Little less each day(s). That’s what I’m doing.
Yep, pretty much.
When one takes a shot of vodka in the morning to alleviate the hangover (and admittedly I’ve done this more than once lately) then it’s a problem.
I’ll deal with it soon.
Well, soon-ish.
Painful? Liberating? Why not both?
You know, you’re lucky because you got to have an additional life improvement through subtraction. That’s rare.
Good hustle
Best moment of the hearings today, which I did not actually watch, was Bert getting questioned about the term “boof(ed)” as referenced in his yearbook. He claims it meant “farting,” but urbandictionary and others say it’s slang for butt chugging or possibly anal sex. Do you think he learned anything from the ol’ KSK mailbag?
It’s anal sex.
ah will never not play Baby Buster, especially at home!
This right here. He’s trending towards being an elite qb and fantasy-wise we’re on the ground floor.
found a funny:
NURSE TEXT: super busy rn
BANKER TEXT: getting cash atm
HOOKER TEXT: working hard imho
it can also be:
HOOKER TEXT: working hard atm
Flesh wound’s punchline works better
I have declared Colaland a sanctuary state. Tito the Mexican pug is staying here for 6 months and I didn’t even check his papers.
At least when they build the wall, it won’t have to be very high.
Because Pugs are short, you see.
I keep mistaking him for dear departed Oxipug when really I shouldn’t because of their different accents.
Understandable. Mexipug, Oxypug, they’re pretty close.
Shit, now I gotta go cook dinner.
This whole “Being a responsible adult every day” thing is really starting to piss me off.
I’m good for a 2-3 days per week tops these days, is my point.
/watching The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling
Duchovny having a non-sexual (sorta) crush on Garry was fucking brilliant.
Watched two hours of that on a flight in early August. I liked it and really need to revisit.
Him and Tom Petty hanging also an odd couple
Jesus Christ Troy…fucking shave. You look like a fucking bum.
Has Terry Bradshaw strunk>!? He looks tiny now!
Like only maybe 1.5 times as tall as Joe Buck’s forehead.
Nice try hacker!
You heard it here first: the Vikings D will step up and be all over Goff.
To the point where he may get hurt and the Rams season will be proper fucked.
This is because you don’t want to pay for Hippo lapdances again.
Hey, I WON that bet! He paid for TWBS’ lap dances.
Ummmm…no. tWBS paid his own way and almost got a beatdown for it.
Really? That fucker was supposed to pay for $100 worth of dances for you!
If memory serves, I believe a young lady who goes by the fake name of “Monroe”(?) was the beneficiary of teh Hippo’s bet.
Meh, she seemed nice. It’s all good.
So, he DID pay for you?
That wasn’t the bet. The bet was that the money would go to….well, ya know.
Or at least that was my understanding.
I can’t find the terms but your anger at winning a bet was hilarious…
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2018/01/06/your-all-aboard-the-band-wagon-nfc-wild-card-game-open-thread/comment-page-1/#comments
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2018/01/15/fishnet-a-botg-investigation/
Hippo’s lapdances were self-funded. He lost.
But he never did reimburse me for gas.
BASTARD!
I’d go DangeRuss over Goff. Rammit is probably going to have a high TOP from Gurley in order to protect their secondary being on the field for too long.
Brett Kavanagh is…. Calendar Man, but more rapey
For a minute there, I thought Lindsey Graham was gonna go all….
Me too. I was waiting for the bleeps.
Watching Amazon Prime broadcast. They can’t show commercials…so they show a screen with an NFL football fact.
bahahaha.
Until they a way to make you route packages during breaks
I didn’t watch the stupid hearing today. Instead I started watching Maniac. Its kind of cool….
Good choice.
“Maniacs” would be a good name for today’s hearing, actually. Now that I think about it.
I did. There are no winners in this thing.
As much as I would like to hang out here and play along I’m basically FUCKED at work today. We’re short-handed so I’ve been working 10-12 hour days, getting paid for 8 hours (isn’t it awesome to be salaried?) and I’ve got a massive job that has to be completed by tomorrow evening so I can close out the federal fiscal years production.
I’m recording the game and hopefully I’ll be able to watch it when I get home around midnight or so.
SKOL!
Oof! Sorry to hear that. See you on the other side.
I feel like I’m on another planet after watching the Kavanaugh hearing.
wait til the next nominee Justice Roethlisberger
I was with you. Its sad when Congress is makes the victim and accused sexual assailant both look good.
I’m Goffing it.
Who is your other qb?
Babe Laufenberg?
Cool! Go Goff Go!
Screw it! I’ll do it!
/it astounds me that I got him in the 10th(?) round in one league and for $4 in another league against guys that I’ve been playing with for 20 years.
Counterpoint: The Vikes defense is very good and the Cardinals is not. Goff may have better weapons, but, again, the Cardinals are very, very bad.
[holds head in hands]
“You’re tearing me apart!”