Your “I’ve Seen Stranger Things” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Much like a Krauthammer into an empty pool, let’s dive straight in. TO THE GAME!

Chiefs/Broncos:

Boy oh boy. I wonder how everybody’s fave 2nd year phenom qb will do going into the confines of Denver for the first time. This should be a real test for him, right? Well, Johnny Football-Come-Lately’s, I’ll have you know that a certain Mr. Mahomes started a meaningless (KC had already clinched a playoff spot) game in week 17 last year in Denver and ended up winning 27-24 with a bunch of second-teamers. Oof! That sure ain’t bode well for tonight. After all, this kid is averaging 4.333333333 TDs per game and looks a wee bit unstoppable. Factor in that in the last five games vs. Denver, Andy Reid and company (led by Alex Smith) have averaged 30 points vs. dem Broncs.

The question is begged-how can the Broncs possibly pull this monkey out of the cage? Mahomes hasn’t seen the man coverage that Denver plays so perhaps there’ll be an adjustment phase. Chubbs and chicken-chaser Miller must force pressure from the edges so that Mahomes forces passes. But he’s already shown he can throw the short drop pass. Okay, now what? Perhaps rook rb’s Freeman and Lindsay slow down the pace of the game. Maybe the No Housefly Zone gets a pic or two or three. There’s always the possibility that qb Keenum racks up more yards than his counterpart. Just this year I’ve seen stranger things happen. See how I tied that all together in one big beautiful bow?

Get to doing the finger exercises.

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Time foar bed.
Later taters.

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

theeWeeBabySeamus

One of my all time favourites. And I’m in the right mood for it.
Thank you, Sir.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Wakezilla

As a Father to a 2 year old, I can’t wait to play this for ToddlerZilla tomorrow. Thanks

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

BTW, it turns out that stress eating veggies or fruit is still stress eating.

Brocky

……..is ketchup a vegetable?

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Ronald Reagan said it was.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I have to admit, I still admire good defensive plays.
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Brocky

….feet still hurt.

Like damn seriously? I wanna spend 8 grand that I don’t have lying around to get the hot tub fixed

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Getting old sucks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Just finished my hockey draft. Hot damn I love my team…except for Eeli Tolvanen, who was supposed to be a lock for Nashville’s top 6, but has been sent down to the AHL. He’s pissed and now may go to the KHL. Fuuuck

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m sick. Both of living in a country where Democrats are held accountable to an impossible standard despite being out of power while Republican hypocrisy runs unchecked. And possibly with the flu.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Rest and Vitamin C will help. Well, at least with part of that.

litre_cola

HAI! You seem sensible, intelligent, and a nice guy. Howabout you move to a Chicago climate minus the humidity?

Wakezilla

Don’t do it! It’s already snowing here!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hypocrisy? You are leaving out the charming qualities.

Immoral, greed, just plain evil, and the pinnacle of stupidity. They are certainly good at playing on the ignorance and ignorant fears of their base to bring about their desires in a not-so-deceptive shell game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

But the flu sucks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s depressing; Imma cheer myself up:

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Wakezilla

She seems like the kind of gal you want to have a steak and whiskey with (before debacherous sex). Gotta love that about a woman

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I like her. She seems fun. Sincerely.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Yeah, I need another crush/ spankbank resident.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Whattup assdicks?

Senor Weaselo

You won in the DFO League?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I did? Yay!

litre_cola

BFC be happy you didnt come to this Alberta town

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Today we learned that CBS bleeps out the “rusty” part of “rusty trombone”!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

HAI!! Just got back from a 6 hour sess at a dive bar in Edmonton. Chefs covered. A ok

Fronkenshteen

Scott Van Pelt is too fucking bald.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

You can read his thought if you watch him in HD.

Gratliff

They’re praising Favre and how people always talked about his throws. My favorite Favre throw was when he ran 5 yards past the line of scrimmage and threw a pitch TD and cheered while the TE looked at him like a fucking idiot and the announcers swore fealty to him

Gratliff

This is all worth it if Patrick Mahomes becomes the new “JUST HAVING FUN OUT THERE” meme

King Hippo

This is the differential. Mahomes can actually fucking play, unlike Favre or to a lesser extent, Montana (he was good, just VASTLY overrated).

Gratliff

I kind of wonder what the ratio of intentional pass TDs to lucky jump ball catch TDs are for Favre. Like, I know I shouldn’t hold the Dead Dad Game against him, but he could have been punting those fucking things at the end zone every play.

Don T

This is my kind of heresy.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

How much praise was for the receivers who got sprained or broken fingers trying to catch Ol’ Dongslinger’s throws?

Fronkenshteen

Think I’m done w/ season long fantasy football.

King Hippo

it is all that IS fantasy footbaw. The rest is just disguised gambling with 10% MOAR juice.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I went past this in a rented sailboat.
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Senor Weaselo

Did you go full pirate on it?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I farted in its general direction, so yeah.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I would not want to have to try to land that helicopter on that pad.

No that is not euphemism.

Gratliff

The Chiefs are pretenderest 4-0 team in human history

Senor Weaselo

16-0 and going out in the divisionals? Anyone?

Gratliff

I’ll take the Bye -3

King Hippo

They play the Jaguras next week, in what is NOT EVEN A NATIONAL BROADCAST.

Wakezilla

Reminds me of when they went 12 or 13-0 and everyone knew they were going to get killed in the playoffs

King Hippo

Tooting own horn, from 9:34, DFO standard time:

King Hippo
23-27 is still a feared, realistic outcome

Following up on 9:17’s:

King Hippo
20-16 or 27-23, Chefs. Calling it now.

Senor Weaselo

But it’s not a scorigami, so do we really care?

King Hippo

Slam our wee-wees in a desk drawer on the half-hour?

Senor Weaselo

Erect or flaccid? Important difference. I think. Never tried either.

King Hippo

erect is better, but getting it back up is hard (PHRASING!!) after the first 3 or 4 slams. Ahem, or so I hear tell.

Gratliff

Has Sports Center really fallen to the point of Scott Van Pelt solo anchoring it?

King Hippo

Good play design, poor execution x2

Oh well. Put up one hell of a fight. That lefty throw was amazeballs.

hippofant
hippofant

On that last play? The DB was just too tight. Couldn’t get the lateral off. Heck, the DB was so tight, arguably it took some OPI for Sutton to even get open, the way he threw the DB off at the top of the route.

King Hippo

he also couldn’t go to the turf like Witten was braying about. One, it wasn’t the play. Two, his momentum was going the wrong way, he probably didn’t have the first down.

hippofant
hippofant

Yeah, it’d be close I think. But Sutton would especially not know whether he got it, when even to us it looked really close, so him going through with the lateral call makes a lot of sense to me. Or even just trying to lateral without it being the call, I’d get that honestly. For all he knows, the game’s going to end on an unconverted 4th down.

Senor Weaselo

Wait is this regular season NBA? Oh goody I can’t zzzzzzzzzz…

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, I expected KC to choke out, but I was wrong. No biggie for me, I haven’t rooted for DEN since they played the Cowboys in the SB back in the late 70s.

Gratliff

Bill Burr has had enough of the announcers’ shit and he’s 1000% correct

King Hippo

“here’s your sign”

Spur
Spur

Al least i won FFL this week. Donks suck.

blaxabbath

What up all? Everyone here to praise Andy Reid?

Spur
Spur

Mahomes bailed him out.

Spur
Spur

Tebow would have thrown a TD

The Maestro

With 3.16 seconds left on the clock.

The Maestro

That lady with the old-school logo earrings probably imagines Terrell Davis going to town on her backfield, instead of her husband checking down once again and ruining the moment.

Senor Weaselo

Does that include the Mile High Salute?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Whooopsie.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WCS

DDDDEEEEERRRRPPPPPPP

Gratliff

looooooooooooooooooool

King Hippo

what an awful defense

King Hippo

I yelled like a scalded puppy.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

And Keenum needs to make that throw.

Gratliff

lol

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

He has to catch that

King Hippo

Use the middle of the field, cocksuckers!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

No timeouts left.

King Hippo

still time to clock it, make a throw or two to end zone

theeWeeBabySeamus

Understood.