Your “I’ve Seen Stranger Things” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Much like a Krauthammer into an empty pool, let’s dive straight in. TO THE GAME!

Chiefs/Broncos:

Boy oh boy. I wonder how everybody’s fave 2nd year phenom qb will do going into the confines of Denver for the first time. This should be a real test for him, right? Well, Johnny Football-Come-Lately’s, I’ll have you know that a certain Mr. Mahomes started a meaningless (KC had already clinched a playoff spot) game in week 17 last year in Denver and ended up winning 27-24 with a bunch of second-teamers. Oof! That sure ain’t bode well for tonight. After all, this kid is averaging 4.333333333 TDs per game and looks a wee bit unstoppable. Factor in that in the last five games vs. Denver, Andy Reid and company (led by Alex Smith) have averaged 30 points vs. dem Broncs.

The question is begged-how can the Broncs possibly pull this monkey out of the cage? Mahomes hasn’t seen the man coverage that Denver plays so perhaps there’ll be an adjustment phase. Chubbs and chicken-chaser Miller must force pressure from the edges so that Mahomes forces passes. But he’s already shown he can throw the short drop pass. Okay, now what? Perhaps rook rb’s Freeman and Lindsay slow down the pace of the game. Maybe the No Housefly Zone gets a pic or two or three. There’s always the possibility that qb Keenum racks up more yards than his counterpart. Just this year I’ve seen stranger things happen. See how I tied that all together in one big beautiful bow?

Get to doing the finger exercises.

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Spur

This might be a Andy Reid post season game.

King Hippo

20-16 or 27-23, Chefs. Calling it now.

Spur

Andy Reid just asked for a menu

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

So a black quarterback is going to puke at midfield?

Spur

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theeWeeBabySeamus

My lordy lord….Ooooof.

Spur

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Spur

You like Breakfast? – Andy Reid to Mahomes

King Hippo

“I mean, which breakfast you like best, #1 or #2?”

The Maestro

See, I always took Andy Reid to be an elevensies guy, but that’s just me.

King Hippo

YES!

Senor Weaselo

Also luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper.

Doktor Zymm

Silly weekday football, being mostly over by the time I get home…how was the first 5/8ths of the game?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

It made me erect but I get erect when I watch shitty football, so you be the judge.

King Hippo

my money league fantasy matchup is not only between the top 2 scores of the week, but also the entire season. Currently 193.17-192.20

Spur

This is all Hippo’s fault!

King Hippo

as are most things

The Maestro

Oh god DAMN was that impressive.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Who are you, not my ex?

Mr. Ayo

Touchdown Seahawks!

Spur

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Viva La Tabula Raza

JC Van Damme’s self-awareness and self-deprecation makes me a fan, though I never cared for his movies.

Spur

Bloodsport forgives all.

Spanky Datass

But what the fuck is up with his face. He’s in his late 50’s and looks 90. Was it the kick-boxing , booze, roids, a little of this a lot of that?

hippofant

Witten’s an idiot and Jones didn’t even touch the pass there? Looked like a straight-up drop.

King Hippo

remarkable defensing performance

theeWeeBabySeamus

That KHunt isn’t getting any room to breathe.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“I can’t queef”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Kelce is a scumbag

theeWeeBabySeamus

Noap…across the line.
Great play, just held it too long.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit, they didn’t call it?

hippofant

I think he pulled up and kept his foot dragging back long enough, when he did that awkward rotation.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Over the line, Smokey!

Or not..

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is Elway secretly paying off some gambling debts owed by Kelce?

Spur

That KHurt is likes small holes

Spur

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Spur

Donks are going to fuck this up, huh?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well it’s not the playoffs, so I wouldn’t count on the Chiefs fucking it up for them.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t know, they’re almost looking to be in post-season form this evening.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They haven’t had their stroke KC regular-season luck yet. Just you wait. Something obscene will happen soon enough.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hold my beer.

– T. Kelce

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Just found Case Keenum’s DeviantArt page. I don’t think him signing with the Broncos was a coincidence.

Brick Meathook

This is called The Lawrence Formerly of Arabia although to some it is simply The Duane Allman
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Spanky Datass
Viva La Tabula Raza

“Just missed, dangit!”
—Bob Dylan

Spur

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Spur

Folks

Wakezilla

Fun story, had Earl Thomas signed an extension I totally would have bought his jersey. Love what he did yesterday, but I’ll hold off on buying his jersey until he signs with, let’s say the Niners.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good Charlotte. Baltimore boys.

King Hippo

and turrrrrrible at music

Viva La Tabula Raza

They sure look like a bunch of MAGAs hanging out at the local biker bar.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Better than they used to be. But still not great.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Suzy’s starting to get a little bit of the turkey neck going. OK by me, though.

Spanky Datass

SO THEY’ER JUST GONNA KEEP CALLING THIS HALFTIME SHOW “COMMERCIAL FREE”? THAT’S BULLSHIT AND JUST … … … oh … hi suzy … can i like, get you anything?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve always pulled for Keenum, as I do for most TX school products (except Manziel, fuck that spoiled little shit), so I’m glad to see him doing alright. Too bad he sucked so bad when he was with the Texans.

The Maestro

To be fair, Houston is a general black hole for quarterback play. I think the gravity’s too high on Warren Moon.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Shoot for the Moon, even if you miss, you’ll be among the Schaubs”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You know, he kept telling me I had the wrong guy…” – Sahel Kazemi

King Hippo

probably take the FG now. Talked myself out of it, thanks to kid’s logic.

King Hippo

friiendly spot

King Hippo

at least a half-yard short

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel like Emmanuel Sanders deserves a place on that top 100 most average players that KSK did.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Should that be the middle 100 most average players?

Gratliff

The Jake Plummer Memorial All-Adequate Team

King Hippo

FUCK YOU FACE, Raider Imaginary Buddy-Guy

WCS

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The Maestro

As a counterpoint, we should consider creating a “perfectly cromulent” list of players at some point this season.

Don T

The Thrashold!

King Hippo

this is prime Sanders territory. The 2-minute drill. HIPPO NEED!

LemonJello

Someone cut back on Witten’s caffeine intake prior to kick-off, please.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Hello you beautiful bitches

King Hippo

Hey there back, how many ‘ludes you in, Buddy?

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Has BLEERGH been this prevalent the whole game, or is it just this drive?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Color commentation: “Andy Reid’s just dialing them up.”

Domino’s?

deviantBastard

I thought of him more of a Papa John’s guy.

Redshirt

“I have to choose?”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe, they’ll both be out of ingredients quickly.

LemonJello

He has a standing delivery schedule with GrubHub. Though they require a CDL to drive one of these:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iFkKRh5kcM

King Hippo

juuuuussssssttttt a bit offside

theeWeeBabySeamus

NC State guy fucks it up.
Never seen that happen before, huh?

Gratliff

Shawn Michaels is apparently going to start wrestling again because Dallas Page has found the fountain of youth and is more than happy to cash in on getting old fuckers into good enough shape to embarrass themselves in front of tens of thousands of people

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, it worked to resurrect Mickey Rourke’s career, however briefly.

Gratliff

It’s my favorite movie that features Todd Barry jerking off in the back office of an Acme

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someone’s steroids dealer just thought about telling their kid to go ahead and apply to Harvard; they will be able to afford it after all.

Wakezilla

Everyone wants in on that Saudi money

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish the Chiefs offense was as bad as the Chiefs defense, because I really hate the Chiefs.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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LemonJello

Everyone, please welcome President Andrew Jackson to DFO!

Don T

Woof. Was that Le’Veon?

LemonJello

MNF: Tackling optional

King Hippo

FREEMAN!!!

Don T

The ESPN Deportes fellas have been talking about the Air Raid the last 4 druves. What kind of god is this Mike Leach guy?

Spanky Datass

He’s insane but when he talks with the right interviewer, magical things happen.

King Hippo

SandersDOWN please

theeWeeBabySeamus

Random Observation: Hockey starts on Wednesday. We don’t have to watch football.

(the betting lines suck moar, however)

LemonJello

Looks like tWBS’s account was hacked. Internet Dad, can you delete it?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve behaved myself this season foar both NFL and JV NFL. In spite of Hippo being a bad influence I have not placed one bet so far.

And I never bet baseball or hockey.

So far.

herodotus450

Yeah but we’d have to watch Pit-Bos on Wednesday. An all-time meteor match.
/Winner gets to lick the loser.
//I guess it’s Bos-Wash, a little better.

jjfozz

A Star is Aborted

Viva La Tabula Raza

If Brandon Cooper dies, like Kris Kristofferson and James Mason and Fredric March in the same role before him, it might be worthwhile.

King Hippo

we really need suicide bombers at every single theatre

King Hippo

that’s a back-breaker