The Adventures of Jack Doyle, Private Detective, 1951. Written and directed by Orson Welles

/Doyle’s office

Voice of Jack Doyle: It was a Thursday just like all the other ones. I was washing my balls when there was a knock at the door. 

Doyle: “Come in, Jones and hand me that towel, would ya.”

Dame: “You want I should blow dry them too?”

I covered up. I thought my houseboy was knocking. I had to think fast…

Doyle: “Uh… uh… There’s a banana in it for you if you want.”

Fuck! That was stupid. I’m not the best at this sexual entendre stuff

Dame: “You’re not very good at this sexual entendre stuff, are you?”

Doyle: “Listen Peaches, I don’t get paid for my words, I get paid by my actions. What’s the name?”

Dame: “Salsa Innuendo.”

Whoa. I knew at this point that the odds of me getting in over my head were pretty good

Welles: “CUT! CUT! CUT! [buries head in hands] SALSA INNUENDO? WHAT WAS I THINKING?”

Colts/Pats:

Thursdays have been fairly good to us so far this year so I’m thinking this tilt might only be a trash fire rather than what we’ve been treated to in the last few years. Gronk and Edelman are in, T.Y. Hilton is out. At least Luck has Phillip Dorsett to throw to. Scratch that. Luck has started off slow but actually has better numbers than The Brady in a few categories. I’m guessing that tonight the latter makes up some ground. Still, the Pats D is plenty lousy on 3rd and medium (29th) and 3rd and short (26th). Ten points is the spread-place your bets. BTW, the star of our little thingy is out tonight.

Let’s have at ‘er, shall we?