Lesser Footy/JV NFL Combo Platter – Welcoming October

Not that anyone would notice it in North Cakalaky, where it’s been hotter this past week than July and August mashed together.  Jeebus Tapdancing Christ.  And of course, another noon kickoff for mah Shitty Wolves to suffer through.  Ay yi yi…

Our beloved Premiership is being lazy arseholes and not giving us an early morning fixture.  Spurs and Cardiff (10:00, NBCSN) is the only televised game of the main window, and can I rant for awhile about this predilection the NBC folks have for Cardiff snuff films?  Every fookin’ week.

I guess they really want y’all to buy NBC Gold like Hippo, who will be watching Everton limp into Leiscester.  But Cherries v. Moose-Hornets is also a very interesting matchup.  Palace/Wolves?  Also not bad!  Lots to choose from, really.

Manure takes on Newcastle (12:30, NBC) in the spotlight dance, such that it is.  I’d recommend JV NFL, which is good again early.

Sunday Funday! is way better, with Fulham/Arsenal well worth setting one’s alarm for (7:00, NBCSN).  Mighty Whitey has been missing that breakout win, and my spidey sense says it comes here.  Saints/Chelsea (9:15, NBCSN) is the middleman of this Lucky Pierre, and I’d go do sommet else for a little bit.

Finally, you have Man City invading Anfield (11:30, NBCSN), in what could essentially salt away the 2nd-consecutive title if the Fightin’ Ian Curtises come good.  Let’s hope they put it away well in advance of RedZone kickoff montage, yeah?

Nimes and Rimes play one another in Ligue du Froggie today (2:00, ??), and I just find that amusing.  Make up your own song to that cheesy “Can’t you read teh siggggggnnnnnssss?” song every asshole with a guitar liked to riff in high school.

Young Boys host FC Lucerne at Wankdorf (1:00, ??) and you just know they’ll manage to finish on top!  The nice thing about pedastry jokes, they NEVAR get old.  😀

Nothing else really interested me, but I invite the more sophisticated enthusiasts to rectify my understanding in the comments.

Texas v. Oklahoma @ Cotton Bowl (Noon, Fox)

Please have Gus Johnson attached, stupid Fox game.  You have mis-assigned him all damned season.  Also, let’s goooooo Northern Steer Fuckers!

Boston College at NC State (12:30, ACCN)

I want to believe, really.  But the JV Iggles in town, with a number in front of mah Shitty Wolves?  I shall watch this through laced fingers, chuh chuh.

Clemson at Wake Forest (3:30, ESPN)

Trap Game 2: Electric Boogaloo.  One does NOT want to leave it all up to NC State, playing in Death Valley.  TRUST HIPPO.

LSU at Florida (3:30, CBS)

YAY!  A watchable CBS fixture this week.  Hippo’s GAMBLOR! tip – bet the shit out of LSU.  Any offense with a pulse is gold against Florida.

Kentucky at Texas A&M (7:00, ESPN)

Season Alert!  Kenfucky is undefeated at FOOTBAW, and doing it with defense.  No fucking clue why they are nigh-touchdown dogs against a very mediocre TAMU side, except that old habits die hard.

Notre Dame at Virginia Tech (8:00, ABC)

Like trying to find GOP Senators with a conscience, the useless pleading for someone, anyone to beat Notre Dame continues this week with a bunch of Castrated Turkeys.

Utah at Stanford (10:30, ESPN)

Tweaker pickings were slim, but I bet on this’un, so it wins out.  Always possible that the Trees are still thinking about last week’s pitch shitting, but David Shaw’s crew usually takes care of bidness against the plankton, and I suspect they will take out some frustrations on Team Secular Big Love.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Fronkenshteen

Well that was shit.

Spur

Texas is kicking Land Thief ass on this drive.

blaxabbath

Shark Tank does not look like a good show at all.

Spur

comment image

scotchnaut

9/10, would Hee-Haw.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Finley’s earning himself some dough.

scotchnaut

Like, Baker Mayfield kinda dough?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well that was stupid.

Beerguyrob

NZ with three tries in the last eight minutes to squeak out the win in South Africa. Fantastic close to the match.

blaxabbath

“Every team should implement the Haka!”

– High School Football Coaches

LemonJello

“We got any of them Native Americans to teach it to us?”
-A majority of those high school coaches

ballsofsteelandfury

I think I won the tipping contest!

Spur

Hail Satan! I took the over.

herodotus450

“Heil Seitan!”
-A German Vegan

scotchnaut

Little help over here-I’ve got some beef chuck short ribs and I’ve followed PornHub’s recipe as far as bringing them up to room temp. and dusting Maldon salt on my balls and dragging them across the ribs. Pornhub suggests slapping the ribs against my ass 20-25 times (tenderizing is essential) before throwing them in the oven. Thing is, I’ve got a few festering sores back there so I don’t want to do that.

Any ideas?

herodotus450

Make those shorts ribs BIG with these 5 easy steps!

Viva La Tabula Raza

The heat of the oven ought to kill any bacteria, viruses, or fungus you might pick up back there. I say go for it.

Fronkenshteen

Pour red wine vinegar all over your ass first. It will cauterize the open wounds and tenderize the ribs nicely. Everyone goes home in a limo!

yeah right

1 teaspoon of thyme and 2 bay leaves. A random shot of a good balsamic vinegar helps too.

Beerguyrob

That chorizo & peppers omelet went down pretty nice.

Fronkenshteen

Bell peppers? Poblano?

Beerguyrob

Bell & a small bit of the Anaheim we had left over. The goat cheese I added smoothed over the mild heat.

Fronkenshteen

Gotta find a good chorizo source

Viva La Tabula Raza

Papa John’s corporate really trying hard to scrape Schnatter off their shoe.

theeWeeBabySeamus

How do you not fair catch that?
Yes, I yelled at my TV.

Fronkenshteen

Boston College is always a pain in the ass.

theeWeeBabySeamus

“Hold our beer.”

– Wake Forest

scotchnaut

Sillycuse doin’ that Sillycuse thing…

Viva La Tabula Raza

Last time I was in the Cotton Bowl was a Texxas Jam in August 1979, “The Last Concert of the Last Weekend of the Last Summer of the Seventies.” Point Blank, Billy Thorpe, Pat Travers, Little River Band, Foghat, and Rush. I wonder if the acid being sold in the stands today is of the same quality that I experienced all those years ago.

scotchnaut

According to a roadie buddy of mine, ‘X’ amount of coke was included in The Little River Band’s rider.

scotchnaut

I ain’t gonna lie-that shit was fantastic in the short term.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Finally stopped enjoying it when I realized I was both older and fatter than John Entwhistle when he died. Alas, no hookers were involved in the decision..

yeah right

While fun, it never lasted long enough to be worth both the cost and the hangover but holy hell it worked with the ladies back in the day.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Sounds more fun than VHalen’s “no Brown M&M” deal.

Spur

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yeah right

Saw Foghat in 1977 at the Forum and again at Palmer auditorium in Davenport Iowa in 1980. Pat Travers was an opening band for more shows than I can remember and I’ve seen Rush twice. That’s all I remember from the 70’s.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve still got a lot of my old ticket stubs, so I could list a lot of shows attended, but I certainly couldn’t give much in the way of details.

Fronkenshteen

In college football, do they give a “green dot” helmet with a headset built in to one of the defenders like in the NFL?

herodotus450

Not sure if the QBs even get one like that, I don’t see a dot. Maybe that’s why they always looking over at the sideline all the timei.

blaxabbath

Pretty sure NCAA is no headsets. That’s why they got all the cards and shit.

Fronkenshteen

Hope kiddo is well.

blaxabbath

SYR’s uniforms suck.

Spur

Hail Satan!

herodotus450

Smashing into some guy at full speed and slamming him to the ground: OK
Yelling at him afterwards: That’s a penalty.

Viva La Tabula Raza

As honked up as them folks get on that Dr Pepper, it’s a good thing they don’t have access to alcohol.

scotchnaut

“You complain about the team’s name but you’re all fine with ‘The Red Zone’? The hypocrisy!”

-Dan Snyder

Fronkenshteen

I was listening to Evan Silva on Rotoworld’s Friday podcast; their last of the week. I listen to hours of the guy every week of the season, so I feel confident in saying he was drunk. Slurring badly. And he sloppily let slip that he had some insider info on the Panthers-Giants. He had already been GUSHING about Carolina and Norv Turner specifically, so I’m imagining the info was pro-Carolina. I don’t bet anymore, but goddamn I feel like Richard Dreyfus at the beginning of “Let It Ride”.

Spur

chorizo and eggs with fresh tortillas is heaven.

Spur

It’s the Red River Mutual Endeavor. Go Texas!

Spur

Folks

blaxabbath

allo

Viva La Tabula Raza

It just occurred to me that there wasn’t a bunch on pink stuff on display during Thurs Pat-Horse game, although it’s breast cancer month. Maybe NFL is saving it for tomorrow?

scotchnaut

BLAX!

Increased profit margins vs. reduced expenses?

scotchnaut

[invests in power hose companies]

Viva La Tabula Raza

OU certainly scored sooner than I expected.

Edit—nevermind.

blaxabbath

Some of you guys are lawyers right? Well, since the TV says we are over an hour from the ABC game kickoff, I have a small claims question:

I need to serve a corporation with a “complaint and summons” and I have their registered statutory agent for AZ (it’s actually a telecom and they have three different entities I need to serve — all with the same agent) but it’s just “CT CORPORATE SYSTEM”. Since I don’t have a specific individual to send the service to, will they just refuse it and say, “You didn’t ask for Bob.”?

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t know AZ law from Shinola, but in CT you serve the agent and you’re good. You don’t need to serve “Bob Smith from Corporation X”

yeah right

Any of you good folks encountered a reliable EPL stream?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve found buffstreamz to be very good for football; not sure about their soccer but here’s a sample link: http://buffstreamz.com/watch/soccer.php

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Urinating seems to be a fairly good replica

blaxabbath

Oh? I didn’t know the fine people of BFC County get Cardinals TV broadcasts.

Fronkenshteen

Issue 2: A two part question

A) given a format of RB, RB, WR, WR, TE, FLEX, FLEX, should I ever use 4 RBs, what with the preponderance of QB>WR scoring this year?

B) that being said, pick 2 for FLEX (my starting RBs are Zeke and Mixon)

Ajayi vs MIN
AP @ NO
Enunwa vs DEN (specifically C. Harris)
A. Collins @ CLE
Fitz @ SF
A. Morris vs ARI
B. Powell vs DEN

Thanks 1,000,000!

yeah right

I’m starting AD against the Saints D.
All. Day.

Fronkenshteen

Agreed. He practiced yesterday and the final injury report comes out after practice today. Fingers crossed! I’d love to see old-school AP running angry and just fucking a defense up.

Fronkenshteen

Marvin Lewis is a senile old coot. What was that shit this week?

blaxabbath

I’m a hard sell on Fitz.

Which probably means Rosen will hit him for (4) TDs because 11 is where every non-good Arizona QB goes with every pass.

scotchnaut

FRONK!

Brees vs. Wash or Goff vs. Seattle?

/I’ll hang up and listen

Beerguyrob

Well, the noise I’m hearing from the people who sit near me at Seahawks games is that they expect a Thomas-less defence to get lit up.

Fronkenshteen

I like Goff until someone slows that offense down. I don’t think Seattle will have a chance against that pass attack without Earl Thomas.
On the other side, Washington is pretty good at rushing the passer, but it’s a shame they never let Josh Norman shadow WR1s like Mike Thomas. And I don’t think anyone can stop Kamara behind that line.
Washington has a good run blocking line too, though, and they’ve had a bye week AND an extra day to get everyone healthy. And Jordan Reed is still healthy! And while everyone is suggesting AP will get gamescripted out, I love the prospect of him running pissed off. In New Orleans on national TV to boot.
I hate to doubt Brees at home, and I don’t, really. But I cannot get the memory of Goff’s complete destruction of the Minnesota defense out of my mind.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know what’s worse than having a cold? Having a cold and having to go to IKEA.

Beerguyrob

Take solace in the fact you’ll spread it to others, and possibly make an entire klavern of wine moms ill.

scotchnaut

No one can resist their siren song…

yeah right

The siren song of the meatballs?

scotchnaut

“Enjoy Our Meatballs. Now with only 5% reindeer!”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s just not enough

scotchnaut

The other, other white meat doesn’t get any respect at all.

yeah right

I had a chance to try reindeer when I was in Denver but I went safe with elk instead.

The elk was amazing.

Horatio Cornblower

This. Elk is delicious.

scotchnaut

-Santa, during the famine of 2013

Horatio Cornblower

That’s also the last time the Herbie the would-be dentist elf was ever seen.

Dark times in 2013. Dark times indeed.

yeah right

Holy shit. Four nil Cherries and not a single goal from our wee ruddy Scotsman!

I’m starting to believe!

scotchnaut

The dirty Swede strikes again?

scotchnaut

I just have a habit of calling citizens of the Nordic countries ‘dirty’ they’re all good folks and it doesn’t make any sense to slander them so I find it funny. It goes all the way back to this-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4GmSmpjOrU

scotchnaut

Hippo!

Alyssa Milano on a secluded beach in the islands? Or Laura San Giacomo at a secluded log cabin in the mountains? I need one of these for my ‘flex’.

Beerguyrob

South Africa v New Zealand is on my teevee right now, and I am very happy.

Fronkenshteen

Yo hippo! You giving NFL fantasy advice today? Or wait till tomorrow.

Fronkenshteen

Ok. Issue 1: Mahomes or Cousins? (Brady already dropped 33 on me on Thursday)

litre_cola

I can bet on the Fiji and Rwanda Cup but I can’t bet on Swiss futbol? What the fuck???

NVM I can.

Hippo who do like in today’s Fijian fixtures? Lami FC v Tailevu Naitasiri or Nadroga FC v Taveuni FC.

Seriously there has to be point shaving in shit like this. How I can gamble on it from my living room is ridiculous. Chinese triads would have their hands so deep in match fixing it is ridiculous. Tell some defender from a Fijian club team to let a guy go past him and here is 10 grand, then bet the shit out of it on all platforms.

DFO, we need some muscle to intimidate and then we rake in the dollars.

scotchnaut

“Get your hands off the Rwandan Cup!”

-The Hutu

nomonkeyfun

About as much chance for integrity as when Bertie and Jeeves show up for an egg and spoon race.

scotchnaut

Vardy late to the pardy.

litre_cola

Ummm Hippo, what about our adopted team?

scotchnaut

And when are The Young Boys going to play with the Of Age Girls? FOOTY FANS WANT TO KNOW!

litre_cola

Shit, it was early when I read it. My bad, I just love our Young Boys so much, the authorities may say too much.

scotchnaut

How ugly is Cuse vs. Pitt gonna be? Thinking about watching my 2nd Cuse football game.

scotchnaut

Hmm… I do like it when the ‘Tard Heels are lousy…

litre_cola

Hopefully you guys get 6th and knock Man U down a peg.

litre_cola

I had already bet the shit out of Coach O’s Tiggers.

Hippo I appreciate the kind words about Mighty Whitey but alas we were awful until December last year but then went undefeated until May. I am still not concerned about relegation but will be freaking out come December should they still be in 17th.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Boston College at NC State (12:30, ACCN)

I want to believe, really. But the JV Iggles in town, with a number in front of mah Shitty Wolves? I shall watch this through laced fingers, chuh chuh.

Clemson at Wake Forest (3:30, ESPN)

Trap Game 2: Electric Boogaloo. One does NOT want to leave it all up to NC State, playing in Death Valley. TRUST HIPPO.

Truer words, my friend. Never spoken. Gon’ be and interesting day in the ACC Atlantic.

I wouldn’t bet these games on….well, a bet.

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