Lesser Footy/JV NFL Combo Platter – Welcoming October

Not that anyone would notice it in North Cakalaky, where it’s been hotter this past week than July and August mashed together.  Jeebus Tapdancing Christ.  And of course, another noon kickoff for mah Shitty Wolves to suffer through.  Ay yi yi…

Our beloved Premiership is being lazy arseholes and not giving us an early morning fixture.  Spurs and Cardiff (10:00, NBCSN) is the only televised game of the main window, and can I rant for awhile about this predilection the NBC folks have for Cardiff snuff films?  Every fookin’ week.

I guess they really want y’all to buy NBC Gold like Hippo, who will be watching Everton limp into Leiscester.  But Cherries v. Moose-Hornets is also a very interesting matchup.  Palace/Wolves?  Also not bad!  Lots to choose from, really.

Manure takes on Newcastle (12:30, NBC) in the spotlight dance, such that it is.  I’d recommend JV NFL, which is good again early.

Sunday Funday! is way better, with Fulham/Arsenal well worth setting one’s alarm for (7:00, NBCSN).  Mighty Whitey has been missing that breakout win, and my spidey sense says it comes here.  Saints/Chelsea (9:15, NBCSN) is the middleman of this Lucky Pierre, and I’d go do sommet else for a little bit.

Finally, you have Man City invading Anfield (11:30, NBCSN), in what could essentially salt away the 2nd-consecutive title if the Fightin’ Ian Curtises come good.  Let’s hope they put it away well in advance of RedZone kickoff montage, yeah?

Nimes and Rimes play one another in Ligue du Froggie today (2:00, ??), and I just find that amusing.  Make up your own song to that cheesy “Can’t you read teh siggggggnnnnnssss?” song every asshole with a guitar liked to riff in high school.

Young Boys host FC Lucerne at Wankdorf (1:00, ??) and you just know they’ll manage to finish on top!  The nice thing about pedastry jokes, they NEVAR get old.  😀

Nothing else really interested me, but I invite the more sophisticated enthusiasts to rectify my understanding in the comments.

Texas v. Oklahoma @ Cotton Bowl (Noon, Fox)

Please have Gus Johnson attached, stupid Fox game.  You have mis-assigned him all damned season.  Also, let’s goooooo Northern Steer Fuckers!

Boston College at NC State (12:30, ACCN)

I want to believe, really.  But the JV Iggles in town, with a number in front of mah Shitty Wolves?  I shall watch this through laced fingers, chuh chuh.

Clemson at Wake Forest (3:30, ESPN)

Trap Game 2: Electric Boogaloo.  One does NOT want to leave it all up to NC State, playing in Death Valley.  TRUST HIPPO.

LSU at Florida (3:30, CBS)

YAY!  A watchable CBS fixture this week.  Hippo’s GAMBLOR! tip – bet the shit out of LSU.  Any offense with a pulse is gold against Florida.

Kentucky at Texas A&M (7:00, ESPN)

Season Alert!  Kenfucky is undefeated at FOOTBAW, and doing it with defense.  No fucking clue why they are nigh-touchdown dogs against a very mediocre TAMU side, except that old habits die hard.

Notre Dame at Virginia Tech (8:00, ABC)

Like trying to find GOP Senators with a conscience, the useless pleading for someone, anyone to beat Notre Dame continues this week with a bunch of Castrated Turkeys.

Utah at Stanford (10:30, ESPN)

Tweaker pickings were slim, but I bet on this’un, so it wins out.  Always possible that the Trees are still thinking about last week’s pitch shitting, but David Shaw’s crew usually takes care of bidness against the plankton, and I suspect they will take out some frustrations on Team Secular Big Love.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

The most recent movie that you’ve watched more than 5 times? Me? Spotlight.

LemonJello

/checks browser history

On advice of counsel, I invoke my Fifth Amendment rights at this time, Senator.

yeah right

The Revenant. I dig bear violence.

WCS

MOUNTAINEERS ARE THE SOLE UNDEFEATED TEAM IN THE SHIT 12

LemonJello

Couches will be burning in Morgantown!

JustStopDude

These snooker matches would go faster if the tuxedo guy would stop putting balls back onto the damn table.

Senor Weaselo

The pizzeria I’m at has Maryland-Michigan. How’d the Terps score? Or get the football for that matter? It seems every time I look up Michigan is running towards the end zone.

LemonJello

Wake Forest can’t be assed to fill the their stadium versus Son of Clem?

LemonJello

Those child-proof pill bottles can be annoying…

JustStopDude

Greetings from Akersloot NL.

Holy shit this has been the trip from hell. I’m never able to sleep on a plane thanks to spina bifida. So I get to the hotel around 9am local time, having been away for over 20 hours. I get told the room is not ready and please return at 2pm. I finally crash, only to wake up to an email from Hertz asking me to return the car because they gave me the wrong one or something. I tell them that today is not possible and I will do it in the morning. They say cool.

I wake up and the stupid i-phone my company makes me use overseas has bricked itself. It only took me about six hours to get the damn thing to work again. So I show up at the airport Hertz and I screw up. Apparently I was supposed to tell the guy in Dutch I was replacing the car and not returning the car or something.

Now the Hertz guy is pretty nice even though I got to stand around for about 30 minutes. I am now driving a massive jag SUV which is a nightmare to get around the tiny roads here, but it is the nicest car I have ever rented. I ended up going to a restaurant in town that is apparently the only restaurant in all of Western Europe that does not take credit cards. So I had to run around to find an atm before they called the cops.

Today, I planned on trying to get down into Amsterdam, seeing as its Saturday. I woke up about an hour and a half ago, violently sick from something I caught on the airplane. Its now 9pm and my sleep is completely fuck. I can’t go about 10 minutes without wanting to puke…and I have until Monday morning to get healthy or else this month long training thing is going to go up shits creek.

All in all…my standard overseas experience.

That said, holy shit is it pretty here. And the food…it taste better then American food coming up! Its like Pennsylvania, minus the crank heads, pollution, and everyone is nice.

And instead of watching American Football…I am watching snooker…

LemonJello

Well, it can only get better from here.

/Sees JSD taken into INTERPOL custody in a case of mistaken identity

theeWeeBabySeamus

At least the D got off the field quickly again that time.

smgdh

scotchnaut

Me: [briefly checks ribs]

R. Jeremy: “They’re ready, right? They got to be ready!”

Me: “Slow-cooked ribs take a lot of time Ron.”

R. Jeremy: “But I’m hungry nowwwwww.”

Me: “Yer always hungry. Just be patient.”

R. Jeremy: “Okay…. Are they ready now?”

Me: [sighs]

WCS

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scotchnaut

“Do I dare turn back to the Cuse game? Do I dare eat a peach?”

-T.S. Smellalot

Mr. Ayo

Do it. PItt sucks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, NC State D apparently just smoked a shitload of weed during the break. Holy shit.

Horatio Cornblower

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

Mr. Ayo

I think we all know how this ends.

scotchnaut

“Can’t tell you how much I’m disappoint. You could have done way better.”

-John Wayne Gacy, coach of the Des Plaines Cruisers

Horatio Cornblower

On the one hand, I’m not happy to see so many fat, drunk, white Texans so happy.

On the other hand, I’m pretty OK with seeing so many fat, drunk, white Okies so sad.

It’s a conundrum that can only be solved by a meteor.

Well would you look at that?
https://www.space.com/41988-grinning-skull-asteroid-to-pass-earth.html?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=socialcomment image

Senor Weaselo

I believe I speak for most when I say “HIT US MOTHERFUCKER, DO IT, I DARE YOU, I DOUBLE DARE YOU, HIT US”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, I can admit it when I’m wrong.
They’re better than I thought. Mostly because the D has figured out their shit.

….so far.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ricky Person gon’ be special, methinks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I know NC State. We need this clock to run faster.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, well that helps.

theeWeeBabySeamus

^ What that guy said.

scotchnaut

PornHub Recipe Update:

Riley Reid thinks that the ribs need more garlic.

Horatio Cornblower

With a last name like that I have to assume she knows her ribs.

Get the garlic.

Horatio Cornblower

I looked at some of her safer images just now. She could definitely stand to get a few more square meals in between the orgies.

scotchnaut

[sprinkles more garlic powder on ribs]

“So tired of your shit, Riley!”

-me

Fronkenshteen
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The expressions on everyone’s faces in think photo are wonderful.
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Fronkenshteen

Wow. You’re a full 2 plays ahead of my feed!

litre_cola

GOD DAMMIT SYRACUSE. You were the “easy’ one on my ticket.

Mr. Ayo

John Jamelske strikes again.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Victims often don’t choose to see themselves as victims. This goes for Republicans as well. The vast majority of them will be victims of Trumpism – victims of the corrupt system he is normalizing, as money gets siphoned away from themselves and their communities and their middle class status gets steadily eroded – and they will never admit it to themselves, the same way that shitty frontrunning assholes view themselves as “winners” through a completely one-way attachment to a franchise.

I’m glad to be in California, and my intent is to continue living a happy life, and to let them know all about it. It’s fucking pathetic that the only way they can sustain their happiness is via my tears, and I plan to rub my happiness in their face every chance I get.

blaxabbath

There is a proposition to move AZ further towards solar that the electric utilities are fighting. Their ads? THIS WILL MAKE ARIZONA MORE LIKE CALIFORNIA.

Yeah – let’s not be a desirable place with an economy that can single-handedly revise regulations and, you know, be a place where right wing talking heads — who love the people of Missouri— want to move. Bunch of fucking retards around here (it’s okay to say that because we ain’t PC!).

Horatio Cornblower

As a straight white male my plan is just to ride this wave as long as it lasts, while drinking copious amounts of expensive alcohol to try to forget what I’m doing.

MAGA!

scotchnaut

It seems like only yesterday that Rivers was impregnating the entire NC State backfield…

Horatio Cornblower

I want to fight the guy from the Chevy ads so goddamn bad.

blaxabbath

And I’d like the first punch to land before he even knows it’s a fight.

scotchnaut

I’ma watch N.C. State the rest of the way because Hardees ads.

/would never eat at Hardees

theeWeeBabySeamus

Whut you don’t like horsemeat you snobby Canadian?????

scotchnaut

Moosemeat or nothing, ya gotdamm caveman!

litre_cola

You think we are French?

Mr. Ayo

Hardees/Carls Jr is awesome. Your opinion is trash.

Spur

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t usually notice knees. But those are a couple of very nice looking knees.

Horatio Cornblower

I would enjoy a sip of her lemonade.

Mr. Ayo

Folks, I don’t think those are prescription lenses.

scotchnaut

Cambodian tranny? What the fuck? I don’t know anything at all about cars from southeast Asia! Pornhub-have you tried turning it off and on again?

scotchnaut

PornHub recipe insists that I allow the pizza delivery guy and the fireman into the house after the ribs are put in the oven. Gotta weird feeling about this…

LemonJello

Are you properly dressed in short-shorts and a crop top? Otherwise there could be mixed signals.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Horatio Cornblower

Papa John’s has a similar approach, only it’s a Nazi uniform.

scotchnaut

Terps get a turnover with 13 seconds left at the 50. Damn right it’s ‘run up the middle’ time.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, you can’t really blame them; the last time they exerted themselves somebody died.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And thankfully, our defense seems to have figured a coupla things out.

scotchnaut

“What is it with Syracuse’s inability to capitalize? I just don’t get it!”

-e.e. cummings

yeah right

Today marks the start of my first 3 day weekend. I will now have a 3 day weekend for basically the rest of the year.

I’ll teach you assholes to force me to use my vacation time.

No more Mondays EVER!

Mr. Ayo

So… Monday Gravy?

yeah right

Kinky!

scotchnaut

“Ladle they get a load of me.”

-yeah right, playing The Joker

Spur

Maryland vs Michigan is one ugly game.

Spur

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Mr. Ayo

Oooh, it’s leg day!

scotchnaut

Despite what you might think, “Syracuse punter” isn’t a derogatory term.

scotchnaut

Beef ribs are in the oven. The fluffer hasn’t shown up yet.

theeWeeBabySeamus

BC player ded.

I hope he’s the asshole who facemasked Gallaspy…twice.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I really want to punch Steve Adazio.

And I don’t even feel badly about it.

Spur

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s just beautiful.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This is marvelous. Thank you for sharing.

Mr. Ayo

She seems fun

theeWeeBabySeamus

I bet she smells nice.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Finley’s losing himself some dough.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehe

Spur

Why can’t Texas play like this every week?