Not that anyone would notice it in North Cakalaky, where it’s been hotter this past week than July and August mashed together.  Jeebus Tapdancing Christ.  And of course, another noon kickoff for mah Shitty Wolves to suffer through.  Ay yi yi…

Our beloved Premiership is being lazy arseholes and not giving us an early morning fixture.  Spurs and Cardiff (10:00, NBCSN) is the only televised game of the main window, and can I rant for awhile about this predilection the NBC folks have for Cardiff snuff films?  Every fookin’ week.

I guess they really want y’all to buy NBC Gold like Hippo, who will be watching Everton limp into Leiscester.  But Cherries v. Moose-Hornets is also a very interesting matchup.  Palace/Wolves?  Also not bad!  Lots to choose from, really.

Manure takes on Newcastle (12:30, NBC) in the spotlight dance, such that it is.  I’d recommend JV NFL, which is good again early.

Sunday Funday! is way better, with Fulham/Arsenal well worth setting one’s alarm for (7:00, NBCSN).  Mighty Whitey has been missing that breakout win, and my spidey sense says it comes here.  Saints/Chelsea (9:15, NBCSN) is the middleman of this Lucky Pierre, and I’d go do sommet else for a little bit.

Finally, you have Man City invading Anfield (11:30, NBCSN), in what could essentially salt away the 2nd-consecutive title if the Fightin’ Ian Curtises come good.  Let’s hope they put it away well in advance of RedZone kickoff montage, yeah?

Nimes and Rimes play one another in Ligue du Froggie today (2:00, ??), and I just find that amusing.  Make up your own song to that cheesy “Can’t you read teh siggggggnnnnnssss?” song every asshole with a guitar liked to riff in high school.

Young Boys host FC Lucerne at Wankdorf (1:00, ??) and you just know they’ll manage to finish on top!  The nice thing about pedastry jokes, they NEVAR get old.  😀

Nothing else really interested me, but I invite the more sophisticated enthusiasts to rectify my understanding in the comments.

Texas v. Oklahoma @ Cotton Bowl (Noon, Fox)

Please have Gus Johnson attached, stupid Fox game.  You have mis-assigned him all damned season.  Also, let’s goooooo Northern Steer Fuckers!

Boston College at NC State (12:30, ACCN)

I want to believe, really.  But the JV Iggles in town, with a number in front of mah Shitty Wolves?  I shall watch this through laced fingers, chuh chuh.

Clemson at Wake Forest (3:30, ESPN)

Trap Game 2: Electric Boogaloo.  One does NOT want to leave it all up to NC State, playing in Death Valley.  TRUST HIPPO.

LSU at Florida (3:30, CBS)

YAY!  A watchable CBS fixture this week.  Hippo’s GAMBLOR! tip – bet the shit out of LSU.  Any offense with a pulse is gold against Florida.

Kentucky at Texas A&M (7:00, ESPN)

Season Alert!  Kenfucky is undefeated at FOOTBAW, and doing it with defense.  No fucking clue why they are nigh-touchdown dogs against a very mediocre TAMU side, except that old habits die hard.

Notre Dame at Virginia Tech (8:00, ABC)

Like trying to find GOP Senators with a conscience, the useless pleading for someone, anyone to beat Notre Dame continues this week with a bunch of Castrated Turkeys.

Utah at Stanford (10:30, ESPN)

Tweaker pickings were slim, but I bet on this’un, so it wins out.  Always possible that the Trees are still thinking about last week’s pitch shitting, but David Shaw’s crew usually takes care of bidness against the plankton, and I suspect they will take out some frustrations on Team Secular Big Love.