Much like any Giants fan I’ll be obligated to watch their eventual embarrassing demise vs. Carolina. But like many folks that like football in and of itself, the Jags/Chiefs game is must-eyeball TV. Also, we’ve got some pre-NFL appetizers on in the form of EPL action. TO THE GAMES!
Den/NYJ:
This is the story of “The Two Case Keenums”. One is a dreadful pocket passer with a QB rating of 66.7-that’s dead last among starters. T’udder is the out-of-pocket tosser. He’s 6th in the league at a 108.6 clip. Gentlemen, start your roll-outs! I figure the Denver D has enough juice left in it to throw rook qb Darnold under the short bus.
Mia/Cin:
Despite being down Gio and deep threat wr Ross it seems likely that Cincy should have little trouble with the “They are who we thought they were” 3-1 Fins.
Atl/Pitt:
The Falc’s O can play with anyone. Their D cannot and they are missing their best player on the line, at lb and in the secondary. If the weather is fine this game should remind me of my fave video game ever-Pong.
NYG/Car:
I’ve no idea what to make of the 2-1 Panthers coming off their too-early-in-the-season bye. So I’ll just say this (again). Play wr Shepard in your flex. He’s caught 16-17 targets the last two tilts and you know what they say about volume… You don’t? “Eureka!” is what they say about volume. Can I make my argument stronger? Slot cb Bradberry has given up a TD and 205 yards vs. Beasley and Tyler Boyd.
Jax/KC:
Here it is. I don’t expect too much out of KC’s wr’s but Hunt catching out of the backfield and te Kelce vs. an lb should produce some results. Enjoy.
GB/Det:
The Pack might be down both Cobb and Geronimo but Rodgers always finds a way. Now’s the time to play that hunch you have on their 5th string wideout.
Bal/Cle:
I find it very difficult, even impossible, to cheer for the Ravens. There, I said it.
Ten/Buf:
If rb Henry doesn’t run wild on the Bills league-worst rushing D then drop his sorry buttocks immediately after this game and don’t look back. This one should be over at about the same time as the first quarter.
Go Man City!
You know, its sad that Mixon will always be remembered for punching that woman. For all evidence, he looks like a great teammate. It just gets overshadowed for one really obviously, boneheadedly stupid mistake.
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/nfl/bengals/2018/10/03/joe-mixon-always-part-picture-bengals/1515097002/
yeah, he always struck me as much less of a POS than Tyreek Hill. Fully support him getting another chance and glad to see him making the best of it (even if I keep calling him Beatie Mixon just ’cause it subs for Mojo Nixon in the “Punk Rock Girl” song).
As kickoff nears, the Yahoo-bot Opium projected advantage over THC has narrowed to a mere .07!
Is this some secret message to our new, lizard-alien overlords?
No, LemonJello. You’re imagining things.
(into secret mic) The groundhog is getting too close to his shadow.
me (Hippo’s Opium Den) v. Litre (THCola) in DFO ball
/also YES
Oh, okay.
UGH. Fellow Beatie Mixon owners – how worried are ye? I could put in Breida or Kupp instead.
Barring any setbacks, Mixon should be in line to head the team’s Week 5 backfield, but per Hobson, “it’s unclear how much he’ll be able to play with the 82-degree heat testing his conditioning.” As a result, the Bengals elected to activate Thomas Rawls on Sunday to provide depth behind Mixon and Mark Walton. With that in mind, Katherine Terrell of ESPN.com suggests that Walton — who logged five carries for nine yards in Week 4 — could be turned to Sunday when Mixon (whose conditioning following his absence could be an issue) needs a breather.
I figure if the Bengals get a two-score lead in the 2nd half, they’ll feed Mixon. They’ll be afraid to give Walton and Rowls the piggy in case they cough it up and allow LOLphins back into the game.
this rings true to me, thanks!
Sippy Kupp!
my worry is 1) weather; and 2) only good SeaTruther pass defender left is slot corner
I always play Baby Buster and Gurley Man, though. Their bye week will be a nightmare of epic proportions.
I’m not worried at all, because I don’t have any other realistic options!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=ShTDL9uvN-Y
I hope they didn’t shoot the gator. The Cincy Zoo chose to save the human and they’d still be paying for it if it wasn’t for a preemie hippo catching the hearts of every warm blooded human.
#HarambeNever4Get #FionaQueenoftheQueenCity
Best part was “get the big stick”, How did we make it out of the Savanna?
fingers crossed, money league foe still has Ted Ginn as his WR2. Only alternatives are Robby Anderson (1p kickoff) and Jordy Nelson (4:05), as our last waivers are Friday evening.
Tasty is a shitty term and should never be used. It’s how people with no pallet let you know they enjoyed something.
or a twink expresses sexual interest ,, ppl forget that
Heyyyooooo! Just got back on the GAMBLOR! train, baby. Strictly small potatoes & just for yux.
4-Team Parlay!:
• Carolina (-285) vs. NYG
• Miami (+215) @ Cincy
• Minnesota (+160) @ Philly
• Arizona (+139) @ SF
$8.00 gets me $203.54.
I like longshots! Though I have Cincy and Gigantes ATS.
That pays out 25-1?! I really need to learn how to sports gamble.
Step 1) Start with 12 fingers and 11 toes
/JPP gives BFC the stink-eye
parlays are death sentences, though. assuming one has a compulsive nature and goes all TILT-y, though ah am sure that no apply to anyone here
/shift eyes nervously
//goddamnit Orebro
Why NOT believe in 0-4 ARI?!
0-4
40 days and 40 nights
Jewish QB
TEH PIECES FIT!!!!
Choices for the flex:
Underperforming Derrick Henry @ Buf
Underperforming Jamison Crowder@ NO
Not good Isaiah Crowell vs Den
As above, give Derrick one last chance then you can jettison him and not worry about the guy for the rest of the season.
/although if I was you, maybe dump Crowder and pick up D’Onta Freeman two weeks before his return, if he’s available.
//team is saying he’s on schedule
I picked up Nick Chubb, so technically he’s an option too but I figure he’s a play down the stretch.
Well, Hyde is going to get an owie at some point. That we know for sure.
Henry
Hippo STAHP with the Henry
eventually it work? In mah defense, these options suck hind teat
/pick up Marquez Valdes-Scantling liek HIPPO!!
That is very true.
Opium currently favoured to dispose of THC by 0.15, by the ever-accurate Yahoo bots.
I have a sudden urge to ride the Washington Metro
https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/wheaton-station-escalator
So how about that Connor McGregor fight?
all setup (including the brawl) to hype the rematch, $$$$$$
(then again, having drunk irish and russians in the same room…)
A bunch of drunk Russians and Irish people all in one contained area where liquor will be served as long as you have cash. What could go wrong?
chickened out and re-inserted Mahomes
It’s almost noon and I still haven’t even left Mahomes
Please, for the love of God, somebody end this Eli Manning comedy bit.
you talkin about a tv skit or his career since 2012?
Sure
Are you sure it’s not supposed to be an Eli Manning comity bit?
To demonstrate my dinner prep during the NFL season tonight is taco night. Pound of ground beef, a seasoning packet, pre made taco shells some cheese and housemade salsa. Lettuce and tomato available and beans on the side.
Ready in less than 15 minutes and back to the games.
9:45 AM, just cracked a bottle of red wine. I think it is going to be one of those days.
when in doubt, GET CRUNK
/thinking of pill #2
Wow. Max Hall’s [DFO] Account Takeover of litre is off to a great start!
Real Housewives of DFO.
Kind of red we talking about?
Grenache Syrah, Mouvedre from Australia. d’Arenberg Vineyards
Sounds delightful. Grenache and syrah are two of my favorite grapes.
French Rhone style or Aussie fruit heavy style they are usually fantastic.
shit, i have one that’s been sitting there for ages…gonna rectify
I could use an Orebro win in Sweden’s Allsvenskan, too. This was other angry drunken bet ($48.98 at like +1470)
The 6-0 start may be getting to the heads of Cincinnati Bearcats fans. They’re showing signs of suicidal overconfidence.
https://twitter.com/ryanhammond03/status/1048662534931304448?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1048662534931304448&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cincinnati.com%2Fstory%2Fnews%2F2018%2F10%2F06%2Ftwitter-happy-after-uc-stays-undefeated-homecoming-win%2F1549787002%2F
I still remember when you were required to buy UC football tickets if you wanted to buy tickets for a UC basketball game.
See? I get that. Arizona just makes you joking the expensive donor club to buy season basketball tickets. Meanwhile, the football team sits last in conference attendance.
I’ve just learned that if you have a massive neck tattoo your job prospects include telemarketing and goaltending for Man City.
Or goaltending for Man city if you know what I mean
MMA fighter or MMA fighters hype man
Also tattoo artist.
Clerk at Hot Topic.
[contemplates getting neck tattoo]
– Derek Carr
Carny
Maintenance technician for “Handy.”
Gio Bernard and John Ross OUT at Cincy. Eifert is obviously OUT and probably in a Civil War Medic Tent getting amputated right now. AJ Green may be compromised due to double-coverage. Adjust lineups accordingly
Big day for Beatie Mixon!!!
Yadier Molina would find Edersen’s neck tats a bit excessive.
HA!
I swear we’re the same guy.
It’s 70, overcast and sprinkling in Vegas. It needs to stay like this all day.
it’s probably just a courtesan peeing on a guy outside your window
Made it to the cheese museum in Amsterdam. How the fuck do people drive around here? My god its stressful as hell. There a countless bicyclist, pedestrians, dogs, trucks, cars, and trams….and every intersection has about 20 signs. Plus I am driving around in a massive SUV.
I sampled some cheeses. The beer gouda was amaze-balls. Then my flu acted up so I drove back to the hotel. I got about 14 more days here so I expect, once I feel better, to hit up more places. I need to find an easier way to get downtown.
Its amazing here…like every house and farm seems to have its own moat. There is nothing but cows, sheep, and horses as soon as you leave any of the villages or cities. I cannot fathom what it costs to own property here.
nevermind.
It reads like an unfinished sentence from General Andrew Luck that got cut off because of a fullisade from Rebel cannons.
At least someone saw it.
-Look, if he was dying, he wouldn’t bother to carve “Aaargh.” He’d just say it.
-That’s what’s carved in the rock.
-Perhaps he was dictating it.
-Shut up!
-Does it say anything else?
-No! Just “Aaargh.”
-Do you suppose he meant the Camargue?
-Where’s that?
-ln France, I think.
I was introduced to Liverpool by a South African exchange student in grade 9. He had some rather ‘unusual’ ideas about black people. Go figure.
I wish someone would start an Intrade or PredictIt based ETF that invests solely in “evil”. It would do incredibly well.
Isn’t that just all of them already?
Looks like i need to stream the Game of the Week, KC vs Jacksonville.
It’s like NFL doesn’t understand change.
Or the idea of a ‘flex’ game…
I actually get it in Raleigh, NC. Almost passed out from the surprise.
GOD, how I hate the Redshite and their stupid fucking song. I hope everyone’s favourite neighbourhood gay bar wins like 5-nil.
Rolled my Hail Satan! winnings to a 3 team Parley
Jags+3
Panthers -6.5
Titans -3
I don’t trust Cincy to cover.
Morning Folks.
What kind of coffee do you all drink at home? Usually when we/I travel, I’ll bring back a bag of beans if we go somewhere and get coffee. I just finished up one of those bags this morning and were discussing whether or not it’s worth it to spend a few bucks extra to get a ‘fancy’ bag of beans, rather than what the supermarket carries. I’m not the greatest coffee aficionado but I do know QT has totally unpalatable coffee, so I feel justified in asking.
I only drink coffee at work and it’s either Folgers classic roast or Folgers Columbian.
I’m a simple man.
I’m actually surprised to hear that of you.
But maybe you’re all about tea?
Pictured: yeah right
I drink no caffeine on my off days and only a cup and a half of coffee on work days. I think the coffee thing is just by habit. I do drink a gallon plus of water each day.
No coffee, I drink two cups of Green Tea at work every morning
This K-Cup. Reasonably priced and super good. Not plastic.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B076HXWDTH/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&th=1
I drink tea, usually of the Lipton cheap variety. I will never actually pay money for tea unless it’s being expensed.
If you’re rolling in dough like Hippo on a Saturday night this place has good beans
https://www.gocoffeego.com/award-winners
I never drink coffee at home. I will drink decaf ice tea.
I generally use the weekends to detox with a healthy mix of booze.
Is Kevin The Broom back for Man City?
Nein. Stupid lucky German Elton John.
Poop!
Litre will torch me with Vanilla Ice, but my money league opponent is starting the Yinzer D for some insane reason (he even has the Jest on his bench), so it’s ok.
a’ight, Cobb deffo out, Geronimo “trending” out. That’s enough for me to roll with Valdes-Scantling out of NC State homer-dom. And general pillhead insanity.
Marquez Valdes-Scantling? That’s the Spanish law firm I used to sue my gardener.
/he’ll never steal manure out of my personal stash again.
btw, if you get serious points out of a guy that has only 2 catches so far, I will label you a “FANTASY GOD”.
This is truly my equivalent of Homer Simpson trying so hard to impress the weirdos at the worm store.
/am benching AJ Green
I’ve done that so many times over the years-last year I picked up Zay Jones for one week and he got me a score.
/I’ve probably got a 10% strike rate but I get to amuse myself.
The Story of my Abridged Hike-
The wind was so cold it was making my eyes tear up and my mouth go, “Screw this!”.
when do you get to the part with the sexy coed with the sprained ankle? I mean, did we all get our cocks out for nothing??
Be honest. Your cock was out before my comment. I know mine was.
F-I-F!!
No one seems to be able to confirm when this was actually written/recorded. But it’s recently been released as a single.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuUZy5B205E
The good news is that I didn’t wake up with the hangover I was expecting to wake up with.
The bad news is that I did wake up with the beginnings of a head cold.
I’d rather have the hangover.
A shitload of Nyquil will fix either one.
Or Vodka.
Also I just benched Aaron Rodgers for Andy Dalton, so I’m clearly sick.
I did the same with Mahomes-y (for Dalton), whether that makes you feel better or worse, YMMV
Also if the Early Slate of games are bad, you can always go to BBC America to watch the Thirteen Doctor’s first episode. If you can’t, don’t worry. You can catch the other dozen or so replays airing today.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0la0OVPU_4
And if you don’t think the Bengals are capable of playing down to the competition, please skip to 0:44 for mine and Missy’s (female Master) reaction.
I am betting on y’all again. This rebel fella BELIEVES!!!
Hippo! Which online betting site do you use?
Whichever one he owes the least dough, and aren’t about to break his kneecaps.
It varies.
I use bet365 but not sure if they work in Americaland.
Before I swore off betting (for now at least) I used Bovada.
I’m a Bovada customer as well.
5dimes DOT eu
The twbs jinxed Ryan v Cousins against the bad Iggles secondary?
/also has Philly D
So maybe it evens out?
It’s Bernard from Westworld!! But wha happen to his voice??
I saw that coupla days ago. da Fuq?
Now debating tossing Red Rocket in ahead of Mahomes-y due to Jaguras/weather concerns.
“It’s like a training session” – describing Chelski at Saints.
/sends middle finger to you-know-who
Okay, I’m playing Goff in one league and Brees in the other. No more waffling.
/time for a hike, see you later
If someone makes the obvious joke I’m getting on a plane and punching you in the nose…
https://www.motherjones.com/environment/2018/10/fat-bears-katmai-internet-memes-it-me/
And the Sens beat the Leafs! I know you’re out there somewhere Herodotus! Come out and plaaaaayyyyyyyy!
I only saw (well, saw on the box score) that the Sens were up (!) and then blew the lead. Should the Lefas trade Tavares!? Should they hire Don Cherry as player-coach!?
Also, Erik Karlssonn locker room cancer!?
they’d really be Canadia’s team then imo godbless
I think the cancer was Mike Hoffman’s girlfriend and she’s been traded as well.
OK, so I generally don’t ask foar FF advice. I think I should sink or swim on my own, more or less. But this has been annoying me this morning…
Ridley (ATL @ PIT) or Brown (BAL @ CLE) or Boyd (CIN v MIA)…?????
I’ve been going back and forth all morning. What say you??????
I’d play all three…
[runs away laughing, runs into a STOP sign]
Seriously, I’m going with Ridley myself. He’s got the hot hand, he’s part of Atlanta’s red zone package, he’s still getting single coverage, the game should be high-scoring so he’ll get plenty of targets. [runs out of breath]
[catches breath]
Ryan is on fire, Ridley gets the cb2,…
For me this would be the flex.
AB and Tate in the WR.
Ridley it is.
Don’t fuck me over again Matt Ryan. You asshole.
Come on Twbs I am starting Ryan in my money league now you do this?
I AM a pretty big jinx.
Sorry, dude.
Not Brown, other two should see heavy volume.
Seventh-guessing my stupid Goff pick. Why go against Brees at home? His numbers are off the charts.
check weather, that’s a good tiebreaker
“80% chance of rain. In Seattle. Can’t explain that.”
-Bill O’Reilly
“Ask THE JEWS” – Pete C., Undisclosed Location
Ok
Donks ML
Balt -3
Cinci -6
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AylOv7acjl0
I put $50 on Bungles to win first half (-3.5, +100), so that is my 3rd pick of the day.
Whilst many are focusing on young WRs in GB having a day today, my own suspicion is a YUGE day for one Ty Montgomery.
I saw him on a few “sneaky pick” lists. Who knows?
“It’s like they’re only 1/3 full of ham…”
-A. Reid
/stares daggers across the country at you.
Hi my name is Litre and I get up early so I can have my soul crushed and start my day angrily.
I hate everything.
[in unison]
“Hi Litre!”
same, I put in a drunken, angry bet on Mighty Whitey last night…