Your “There Is Only One Game Today” Sunday Morning/Early Afternoon Multi-Purpose Post

Much like any Giants fan I’ll be obligated to watch their eventual embarrassing demise vs. Carolina. But like many folks that like football in and of itself, the Jags/Chiefs game is must-eyeball TV. Also, we’ve got some pre-NFL appetizers on in the form of EPL action. TO THE GAMES!

Den/NYJ:

This is the story of “The Two Case Keenums”. One is a dreadful pocket passer with a QB rating of 66.7-that’s dead last among starters. T’udder is the out-of-pocket tosser. He’s 6th in the league at a 108.6 clip. Gentlemen, start your roll-outs! I figure the Denver D has enough juice left in it to throw rook qb Darnold under the short bus.

Mia/Cin:

Despite being down Gio and deep threat wr Ross it seems likely that Cincy should have little trouble with the “They are who we thought they were” 3-1 Fins.

Atl/Pitt:

The Falc’s O can play with anyone. Their D cannot and they are missing their best player on the line, at lb and in the secondary. If the weather is fine this game should remind me of my fave video game ever-Pong.

NYG/Car:

I’ve no idea what to make of the 2-1 Panthers coming off their too-early-in-the-season bye. So I’ll just say this (again). Play wr Shepard in your flex. He’s caught 16-17 targets the last two tilts and you know what they say about volume… You don’t? “Eureka!” is what they say about volume. Can I make my argument stronger? Slot cb Bradberry has given up a TD and 205 yards vs. Beasley and Tyler Boyd.

Jax/KC:

Here it is. I don’t expect too much out of KC’s wr’s but Hunt catching out of the backfield and te Kelce vs. an lb should produce some results. Enjoy.

GB/Det:

The Pack might be down both Cobb and Geronimo but Rodgers always finds a way. Now’s the time to play that hunch you have on their 5th string wideout.

Bal/Cle:

I find it very difficult, even impossible, to cheer for the Ravens. There, I said it.

Ten/Buf:

If rb Henry doesn’t run wild on the Bills league-worst rushing D then drop his sorry buttocks immediately after this game and don’t look back. This one should be over at about the same time as the first quarter.

Go Man City!

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Redshirt

You know, its sad that Mixon will always be remembered for punching that woman. For all evidence, he looks like a great teammate. It just gets overshadowed for one really obviously, boneheadedly stupid mistake.

https://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/nfl/bengals/2018/10/03/joe-mixon-always-part-picture-bengals/1515097002/

King Hippo

yeah, he always struck me as much less of a POS than Tyreek Hill. Fully support him getting another chance and glad to see him making the best of it (even if I keep calling him Beatie Mixon just ’cause it subs for Mojo Nixon in the “Punk Rock Girl” song).

King Hippo

As kickoff nears, the Yahoo-bot Opium projected advantage over THC has narrowed to a mere .07!

LemonJello

Is this some secret message to our new, lizard-alien overlords?

Redshirt

No, LemonJello. You’re imagining things.

(into secret mic) The groundhog is getting too close to his shadow.

King Hippo

me (Hippo’s Opium Den) v. Litre (THCola) in DFO ball

/also YES

LemonJello

Oh, okay.
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King Hippo

UGH. Fellow Beatie Mixon owners – how worried are ye? I could put in Breida or Kupp instead.

Barring any setbacks, Mixon should be in line to head the team’s Week 5 backfield, but per Hobson, “it’s unclear how much he’ll be able to play with the 82-degree heat testing his conditioning.” As a result, the Bengals elected to activate Thomas Rawls on Sunday to provide depth behind Mixon and Mark Walton. With that in mind, Katherine Terrell of ESPN.com suggests that Walton — who logged five carries for nine yards in Week 4 — could be turned to Sunday when Mixon (whose conditioning following his absence could be an issue) needs a breather.

Redshirt

I figure if the Bengals get a two-score lead in the 2nd half, they’ll feed Mixon. They’ll be afraid to give Walton and Rowls the piggy in case they cough it up and allow LOLphins back into the game.

King Hippo

this rings true to me, thanks!

Spur

Sippy Kupp!

King Hippo

my worry is 1) weather; and 2) only good SeaTruther pass defender left is slot corner

King Hippo

I always play Baby Buster and Gurley Man, though. Their bye week will be a nightmare of epic proportions.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m not worried at all, because I don’t have any other realistic options!

Redshirt

I hope they didn’t shoot the gator. The Cincy Zoo chose to save the human and they’d still be paying for it if it wasn’t for a preemie hippo catching the hearts of every warm blooded human.

#HarambeNever4Get #FionaQueenoftheQueenCity

Spur

Best part was “get the big stick”, How did we make it out of the Savanna?

King Hippo

fingers crossed, money league foe still has Ted Ginn as his WR2. Only alternatives are Robby Anderson (1p kickoff) and Jordy Nelson (4:05), as our last waivers are Friday evening.

blaxabbath

Tasty is a shitty term and should never be used. It’s how people with no pallet let you know they enjoyed something.

King Hippo

or a twink expresses sexual interest ,, ppl forget that

Fronkenshteen

Heyyyooooo! Just got back on the GAMBLOR! train, baby. Strictly small potatoes & just for yux.

4-Team Parlay!:
• Carolina (-285) vs. NYG
• Miami (+215) @ Cincy
• Minnesota (+160) @ Philly
• Arizona (+139) @ SF

$8.00 gets me $203.54.

King Hippo

I like longshots! Though I have Cincy and Gigantes ATS.

Redshirt

That pays out 25-1?! I really need to learn how to sports gamble.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Step 1) Start with 12 fingers and 11 toes

LemonJello

/JPP gives BFC the stink-eye

King Hippo

parlays are death sentences, though. assuming one has a compulsive nature and goes all TILT-y, though ah am sure that no apply to anyone here

/shift eyes nervously

//goddamnit Orebro

blaxabbath

Why NOT believe in 0-4 ARI?!

King Hippo

0-4

40 days and 40 nights

Jewish QB

TEH PIECES FIT!!!!

Spur

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Choices for the flex:

Underperforming Derrick Henry @ Buf
Underperforming Jamison Crowder@ NO
Not good Isaiah Crowell vs Den

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I picked up Nick Chubb, so technically he’s an option too but I figure he’s a play down the stretch.

King Hippo

Henry

litre_cola

Hippo STAHP with the Henry

King Hippo

eventually it work? In mah defense, these options suck hind teat

/pick up Marquez Valdes-Scantling liek HIPPO!!

litre_cola

That is very true.

King Hippo

Opium currently favoured to dispose of THC by 0.15, by the ever-accurate Yahoo bots.

Spur

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Redshirt

I have a sudden urge to ride the Washington Metro

https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/wheaton-station-escalator

Wakezilla

So how about that Connor McGregor fight?

fleshwound_NPG

all setup (including the brawl) to hype the rematch, $$$$$$

(then again, having drunk irish and russians in the same room…)

Spur

A bunch of drunk Russians and Irish people all in one contained area where liquor will be served as long as you have cash. What could go wrong?

King Hippo

chickened out and re-inserted Mahomes

Ian Scott McCormick

It’s almost noon and I still haven’t even left Mahomes

Spur

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LemonJello

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Ian Scott McCormick

Please, for the love of God, somebody end this Eli Manning comedy bit.

fleshwound_NPG

you talkin about a tv skit or his career since 2012?

Ian Scott McCormick

Sure

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Are you sure it’s not supposed to be an Eli Manning comity bit?

yeah right

To demonstrate my dinner prep during the NFL season tonight is taco night. Pound of ground beef, a seasoning packet, pre made taco shells some cheese and housemade salsa. Lettuce and tomato available and beans on the side.

Ready in less than 15 minutes and back to the games.

litre_cola

9:45 AM, just cracked a bottle of red wine. I think it is going to be one of those days.

King Hippo

when in doubt, GET CRUNK

/thinking of pill #2

blaxabbath

Wow. Max Hall’s [DFO] Account Takeover of litre is off to a great start!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Real Housewives of DFO.

Ian Scott McCormick

Kind of red we talking about?

litre_cola

Grenache Syrah, Mouvedre from Australia. d’Arenberg Vineyards

yeah right

Sounds delightful. Grenache and syrah are two of my favorite grapes.

litre_cola

French Rhone style or Aussie fruit heavy style they are usually fantastic.

fleshwound_NPG

shit, i have one that’s been sitting there for ages…gonna rectify

King Hippo

I could use an Orebro win in Sweden’s Allsvenskan, too. This was other angry drunken bet ($48.98 at like +1470)

tomsellecksmoustache

I still remember when you were required to buy UC football tickets if you wanted to buy tickets for a UC basketball game.

blaxabbath

See? I get that. Arizona just makes you joking the expensive donor club to buy season basketball tickets. Meanwhile, the football team sits last in conference attendance.

herodotus450

Or goaltending for Man city if you know what I mean

Spur

MMA fighter or MMA fighters hype man

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also tattoo artist.

yeah right

Clerk at Hot Topic.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[contemplates getting neck tattoo]

– Derek Carr

Spur

Carny

yeah right

Maintenance technician for “Handy.”

Redshirt

Gio Bernard and John Ross OUT at Cincy. Eifert is obviously OUT and probably in a Civil War Medic Tent getting amputated right now. AJ Green may be compromised due to double-coverage. Adjust lineups accordingly

King Hippo

Big day for Beatie Mixon!!!

King Hippo

Yadier Molina would find Edersen’s neck tats a bit excessive.

Spur

It’s 70, overcast and sprinkling in Vegas. It needs to stay like this all day.

King Hippo

it’s probably just a courtesan peeing on a guy outside your window

JustStopDude

Made it to the cheese museum in Amsterdam. How the fuck do people drive around here? My god its stressful as hell. There a countless bicyclist, pedestrians, dogs, trucks, cars, and trams….and every intersection has about 20 signs. Plus I am driving around in a massive SUV.

I sampled some cheeses. The beer gouda was amaze-balls. Then my flu acted up so I drove back to the hotel. I got about 14 more days here so I expect, once I feel better, to hit up more places. I need to find an easier way to get downtown.

Its amazing here…like every house and farm seems to have its own moat. There is nothing but cows, sheep, and horses as soon as you leave any of the villages or cities. I cannot fathom what it costs to own property here.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It reads like an unfinished sentence from General Andrew Luck that got cut off because of a fullisade from Rebel cannons.

Viva La Tabula Raza

-Look, if he was dying, he wouldn’t bother to carve “Aaargh.” He’d just say it.
-That’s what’s carved in the rock.
-Perhaps he was dictating it.
-Shut up!
-Does it say anything else?
-No! Just “Aaargh.”
-Do you suppose he meant the Camargue?
-Where’s that?
-ln France, I think.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish someone would start an Intrade or PredictIt based ETF that invests solely in “evil”. It would do incredibly well.

herodotus450

Isn’t that just all of them already?

Spur

Looks like i need to stream the Game of the Week, KC vs Jacksonville.
It’s like NFL doesn’t understand change.

King Hippo

I actually get it in Raleigh, NC. Almost passed out from the surprise.

King Hippo

GOD, how I hate the Redshite and their stupid fucking song. I hope everyone’s favourite neighbourhood gay bar wins like 5-nil.

Spur

Rolled my Hail Satan! winnings to a 3 team Parley

Jags+3
Panthers -6.5
Titans -3

I don’t trust Cincy to cover.

Spur

Morning Folks.

blaxabbath

What kind of coffee do you all drink at home? Usually when we/I travel, I’ll bring back a bag of beans if we go somewhere and get coffee. I just finished up one of those bags this morning and were discussing whether or not it’s worth it to spend a few bucks extra to get a ‘fancy’ bag of beans, rather than what the supermarket carries. I’m not the greatest coffee aficionado but I do know QT has totally unpalatable coffee, so I feel justified in asking.

yeah right

I only drink coffee at work and it’s either Folgers classic roast or Folgers Columbian.
I’m a simple man.

blaxabbath

I’m actually surprised to hear that of you.

But maybe you’re all about tea?

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Pictured: yeah right

yeah right

I drink no caffeine on my off days and only a cup and a half of coffee on work days. I think the coffee thing is just by habit. I do drink a gallon plus of water each day.

Spur

No coffee, I drink two cups of Green Tea at work every morning

King Hippo

This K-Cup. Reasonably priced and super good. Not plastic.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B076HXWDTH/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&th=1

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I drink tea, usually of the Lipton cheap variety. I will never actually pay money for tea unless it’s being expensed.

herodotus450

If you’re rolling in dough like Hippo on a Saturday night this place has good beans
https://www.gocoffeego.com/award-winners

JustStopDude

I never drink coffee at home. I will drink decaf ice tea.

I generally use the weekends to detox with a healthy mix of booze.

King Hippo

Nein. Stupid lucky German Elton John.

King Hippo

Litre will torch me with Vanilla Ice, but my money league opponent is starting the Yinzer D for some insane reason (he even has the Jest on his bench), so it’s ok.

King Hippo

a’ight, Cobb deffo out, Geronimo “trending” out. That’s enough for me to roll with Valdes-Scantling out of NC State homer-dom. And general pillhead insanity.

King Hippo

This is truly my equivalent of Homer Simpson trying so hard to impress the weirdos at the worm store.

/am benching AJ Green

King Hippo

when do you get to the part with the sexy coed with the sprained ankle? I mean, did we all get our cocks out for nothing??

King Hippo

F-I-F!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

No one seems to be able to confirm when this was actually written/recorded. But it’s recently been released as a single.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuUZy5B205E

Horatio Cornblower

The good news is that I didn’t wake up with the hangover I was expecting to wake up with.

The bad news is that I did wake up with the beginnings of a head cold.

I’d rather have the hangover.

theeWeeBabySeamus

A shitload of Nyquil will fix either one.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Or Vodka.

Horatio Cornblower

Also I just benched Aaron Rodgers for Andy Dalton, so I’m clearly sick.

King Hippo

I did the same with Mahomes-y (for Dalton), whether that makes you feel better or worse, YMMV

Redshirt

Also if the Early Slate of games are bad, you can always go to BBC America to watch the Thirteen Doctor’s first episode. If you can’t, don’t worry. You can catch the other dozen or so replays airing today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0la0OVPU_4

And if you don’t think the Bengals are capable of playing down to the competition, please skip to 0:44 for mine and Missy’s (female Master) reaction.

King Hippo

I am betting on y’all again. This rebel fella BELIEVES!!!

Fronkenshteen

Hippo! Which online betting site do you use?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Whichever one he owes the least dough, and aren’t about to break his kneecaps.

It varies.

litre_cola

I use bet365 but not sure if they work in Americaland.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Before I swore off betting (for now at least) I used Bovada.

yeah right

I’m a Bovada customer as well.

King Hippo

5dimes DOT eu

litre_cola

The twbs jinxed Ryan v Cousins against the bad Iggles secondary?

theeWeeBabySeamus

/also has Philly D

So maybe it evens out?

King Hippo

It’s Bernard from Westworld!! But wha happen to his voice??

theeWeeBabySeamus

I saw that coupla days ago. da Fuq?

King Hippo

Now debating tossing Red Rocket in ahead of Mahomes-y due to Jaguras/weather concerns.

King Hippo

“It’s like a training session” – describing Chelski at Saints.

/sends middle finger to you-know-who

herodotus450

I only saw (well, saw on the box score) that the Sens were up (!) and then blew the lead. Should the Lefas trade Tavares!? Should they hire Don Cherry as player-coach!?
Also, Erik Karlssonn locker room cancer!?

King Hippo

they’d really be Canadia’s team then imo godbless

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, so I generally don’t ask foar FF advice. I think I should sink or swim on my own, more or less. But this has been annoying me this morning…

Ridley (ATL @ PIT) or Brown (BAL @ CLE) or Boyd (CIN v MIA)…?????

I’ve been going back and forth all morning. What say you??????

theeWeeBabySeamus

For me this would be the flex.

AB and Tate in the WR.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ridley it is.

Don’t fuck me over again Matt Ryan. You asshole.

litre_cola

Come on Twbs I am starting Ryan in my money league now you do this?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I AM a pretty big jinx.

Sorry, dude.

King Hippo

Not Brown, other two should see heavy volume.

King Hippo

check weather, that’s a good tiebreaker

King Hippo

“Ask THE JEWS” – Pete C., Undisclosed Location

litre_cola

Ok
Donks ML
Balt -3
Cinci -6

King Hippo

I put $50 on Bungles to win first half (-3.5, +100), so that is my 3rd pick of the day.

Fronkenshteen

Whilst many are focusing on young WRs in GB having a day today, my own suspicion is a YUGE day for one Ty Montgomery.

litre_cola

/stares daggers across the country at you.

litre_cola

Hi my name is Litre and I get up early so I can have my soul crushed and start my day angrily.

I hate everything.

King Hippo

same, I put in a drunken, angry bet on Mighty Whitey last night…

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