Your “For A Hill, Men Will Kill” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • No man is an island, and Chad Kelly found that out late Tuesday night as he was a clod washed away by a sea of bad press.  
    • He was cut by the Broncos as a result of his criminal trespass arrest after the Broncos Hallowe’en party.
    • PFT has rumours of intoxicated behaviour, and “aggressive actions” towards another guest at the party, and then a separate altercation with the security hired for the party.
      • On top of breaking into the home he was arrested for entering, and getting clubbed by the homeowner.
    • He was allegedly drafted by Elway as a favour to his uncle Jim, and was actually on track to start if Case Keenum didn’t improve.
  • On the subject of gone insane from the pain deep inside, Everson Griffen has apparently sorted out his demons & returned to the Vikings.
    • He will return to practice, and decisions will be made weekly about his gameday availability.
      • “The main focus isn’t getting Everson ready to play,” coach Mike Zimmer said at his morning news conference. “I’m sure some people in this room have dealt with some of these things. I don’t think it’s as unique as we make it out to be.
    • Y’know what? It actually sounds like they are taking his needs into account. Good for them, and him. Belichick would’ve just cut him & thrown him on the Hernandez pile.

  • The bell has tolled for Week 15 & 16 games being flexed from Sunday to Saturday night, and onto the NFL Network:
    • December 15:
      • Houston Texans at New York Jets at 4:30 p.m. ET.
      • Cleveland Browns at the Denver Broncos at 8:20 p.m. ET.
    • December 22:
      • Washington [Redacteds] at Tennessee Titans at 4:30 p.m. ET
      • Baltimore Ravens at Los Angeles Chargers at 8:20 p.m. ET
  • Hearing the silence so loud on the Le’Veon Bell front, Steelers WR JuJu Smith-Schuster decided to take matters into his own hands.

  • You’ll find this SHOCKING!, but it appears Jon Gruden might also be losing the locker room.
    • The “anyone could go at anytime” ethos that has taken over the team has left players on edge, since each no longer feels a part of the main, and wondering how much they should care since it looks like after the season most of them might be gone.
      • Time marches on.
    • “I think many of us realize we won’t be here next year,” a player told The Athletic. “We are just waiting to see if we will be here next week…You have to wonder if we haven’t been playing for draft picks all along,” the player said. “Despite everything the coaches told us at training camp.”

Well, I’ve beaten the metaphor long enough.

James?


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Dodgers at Red Sox – 8:00PM | FOX / Sportsnet
  • NHL:
    • Maple Leafs at Jets – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet1
    • Lightning at Avalanche – 9:30PM | NBCSN
    • Canucks at Golden Knights – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • NBA:
    • Mavericks at Hawks – 7:15PM | ESPN
    • T-wolves at Raptors – 7:30PM | TSN
    • 76ers at Bucks – 9:35PM | ESPN
  • It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia – 10:00PM | FXX
    • The tagline for the episode is: “Super Bowl LII from Charlie’s perspective”. SOLD!

Well, now for the equal time component as mandated in the DFO Charter:

OH YEAH!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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BrettFavresColonoscopytheeWeeBabySeamusMoose -The End Is Well NighMr. AyoCol. Duke LaCross Recent comment authors
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

First visitors coming since we moved out to Cali. I could use another weekend to finish cleaning and unpacking.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sexy pliers …..sexy.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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theeWeeBabySeamus

No blowtorch? Marcellus Wallace is totes disappoint.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

If you don’t like Steph Curry, you are banned. From something.

He was fucking ridiculous tonight.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

The Warriors have ruined hardwood footy.

I mean, it’s already a smoldering shit pile. But now it’s a predictable pile of smoldering shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I can’t really say my favorite banned, so many great ones, The Who, Rolling Stones, etc., etc., etc. etc……….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Seriously though, here’s my favorite beard:

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d wear that beard. On mah face.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

More of a Stepford Beard, but still.

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Senor Weaselo

To continue the facial hair debate, yeah, there’s definitely a point where you look a bit beyond lumberjack to asshole. Personally, I shave because 1) I’m picky about my contact with the violin and 2) I already get stopped for flights and in every country I’ve ever been in for having that kind of complexion. A beard would make it even more so.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You are speaking about your face. The point was the displeasure, annoyance, and judgement of others’ faces; I don’t really give a shit what people do with their faces. Now with Hippo’s balls? That’s a different story; THE BOYS MUST BE SHAVED, NOT WAXED, NOT GROWN OUT.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, I really hate when they do the postgame show in front of a bunch of drunken asshole fans from the home team fenced off behind them carrying on and making a bunch of racket. They do that on the local Fox Sports channel when the Spurs have home games, so I really prefer road games for my viewing pleasure.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m guessing that was a rejected Pink Floyd album cover back in the 1970s.

Senor Weaselo

“What has changed?”
“I don’t have to face the Yankees anymore.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m pretty goddamned sick of seeing all these long unkempt beards athletes seem to feel the need to grow these days.

YOU LOOK FUCKING STUPID AND YOU’RE FUCKING MILLIONAIRES BUY A FUCKING RAZOR YOU ASSHOLES

WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Agreed. Even when I go No Shave November, its not that bad. Its almost like they cut it that way on purpose.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

All shall obey tWBS’s taste in men’s appearance!!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep, no doubt. The world would be a much better place if everyone agreed with me.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

And just look there….Walter’s facial hair is neatly trimmed and he looks fabulous.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

They’re like ZZ Top, except really stupid.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-facial hair per se. I’m growing my fall/winter beard right now. But it will be controlled and neatly trimmed.

But when they’ve got enough shit on their face that baby birds could nest in it without detection, then it’s time to ask some difficult questions why?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

And probably not as rich.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

I’m watching “Wild Hogs” and while I should be upset that the Cincinnati they filmed looks suspiciously like Albuquerque, in retrospect they made a good decision. In the film, the heroes started their cross country trip under a sign that says US HWY 50 West and it overlooked green pastured and open road. In reality that sign would say 50 West River Road, and our heroes journey would start with a shot of railroad tracks, old run down houses and abandoned factories.

SonOfSpam

The first four words of your comment should disqualify you from the internet forever.

Redshirt

What if I’m mostly watching for Marisa Tomei?

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SonOfSpam

The fuck didn’t you say so??? Approved.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t expect you to talk, Mr. Bond. I expect you to DIE!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

From a heart attack.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

It would have been cooler if they had traveled north on I-75 towards Dayton and shown them riding by the remains of Touchdown Jesus up by Monroe.
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Redshirt

They rebuild it. Apparently being smited by lightning thrown by God Himself wasn’t a clear enough message. To their credit, Jesus now looks like “Come thee who needs shelter from the storm” and less “Touchdown Bengals!”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lux_Mundi_(statue)

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, who on earth would make a more appropriate candidate for resurrection?

Redshirt

Pittsburgh Steelers? They’ve died like five times in my life and they keep coming back like a wart on my foot,

SonOfSpam

/door flies open
//fat commentist runs in, out of breath

GUYS GUYS – I figured out the Lakers’ issue. They just need to play Phoenix a lot!!!

(Lakers are up 76-54 at halftime)

/runs back toward to the door
//hits jamb forehead-first
///suddenly feels Trent Green should be in Canton, mostly because they have a decent Red Roof Inn

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Hey, I got two whole Powerball numbers!

KNEEL BEFORE ME MORTALS

SonOfSpam

Are your balls relatively fresh?

theeWeeBabySeamus

COME ON DODGERS YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!

Ron Howard voiceover: They didn’t.

ballsofsteelandfury

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SonOfSpam

That…that can’t be real.

ballsofsteelandfury

Oh, very much so. England National Women’s Soccer Team.

SonOfSpam

That’s my new favorite pic ever. Thank you for this!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

As long as it is not in them.

blackroseMD1

This is easily my favorite thing that I’ve heard today, from his video on Chad Kelly being released.

“Getting blackout drunk is the closest that humans have come to mastering time travel.” – Brandon Perna, That’s Good Sports

King Hippo

I’ve been meaning to find his take all day. Perna is at least a regional treasure.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blackroseMD1

I think I found out about him from one of your comments on here, so thanks for that. Dude is hilarious.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Doesn’t this Budweiser/Jim Beam teamup (“hints of vanilla” indeed) sort of fly in the face of the Bud Light anti-foo-foo beer ad campaign?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I remember that.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

But then the internet happened.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The porn routine created a permanent recursive loop.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

As did Breitbart, Free Republic, etc.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What will actually happen is that after the singularity computers will tap into *our* brains to enhance their intelligence.

ballsofsteelandfury

More likely as a source of fuel, not intelligence.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

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SonOfSpam

Is it racist to say he kinda looks like Cosby?

“Not at all – what a dumb question!”

– Megyn Kelly

SonOfSpam

Yeah, computers don’t want our worthless brain shit.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I hope that old lady catches a foul ball!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Euphemism for tepid GILF sex.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Watch how he instinctively reaches for the ball with his lizard brain before the whole system shuts down.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Reaching for any ball to comfort it.

Redshirt

Two balls, one strike.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Usually when neither Texans nor Cowboys play on Sunday afternoon, I get to see some interesting non-TX matchups. The 506 tells me I’m getting Redacteds/Vagiants, Mountain Horses/Chefs, and Peckers/Ramsters. Not that impressed am I, except for that last one, but looking at the slate there’s really nothing better on tap. Fuck.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sorry you won’t get to enjoy the scintillating Prairie Horses/Sinking Pirate Ship Guys matchup.

Horatio Cornblower

You could always spend time with your famHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Oh, man. Almost finished that sentence.

King Hippo

hey, our families wouldn’t enjoy that breach of detente any MOAR than we would

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Au contraire, both of my dogs will be lazing on their respective couches whilst I view the games.

Senor Weaselo

Gratuitious… Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged reference?

King Hippo

So annoyed that the weird time change before the Brits starts this weekend, meaning Everton plays Sunday at noon, cutting into early RZ (and I don’t get Donks/Chefs here)

King Hippo

Not watching a single, solitary pitch of the Series Mundial has been very good for the last shred of Hippo Sanity.

ballsofsteelandfury

Ok, now try the NFL!

/ducks

King Hippo

you are ALSO bastard man, but at least you no insult Sweet Dee or praise The Association 😀

ballsofsteelandfury

I left the NBA long before I left the NFL. And Kaitlin Olson is not only funny and a great actress, but she announces hockey!

ballsofsteelandfury

I may need to do a 25 Questions on ankle bracelets…

ballsofsteelandfury

Doyers ain’t winning this Series, right?

Horatio Cornblower

They may not win a game.

The AL had three teams that would have stomped them, maybe 4 with Cleveland.

Spur
Spur

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Spurs getting their asses handed to them tonight.

Spur
Spur

i turned the stream off.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s been a nice near-20-year run. Certainly been spoiled by it.

WCS

Lil’er WCS took her first full walk earlier tonight. That’s good!

Lil’er WCS will not stop screaming and crying during Sunny. That’s bad!

The World Series is made out of potassium benzoate.

blaxabbath

I’ve no idea how people raise more than one kid.im counting the weeks til we can say out loud, “okay, we got one that healthy.” And I grab the pruning shears and celebrate by hacking off my balls.

King Hippo

1) You get WAY more confident once you figure out you ain’t gonna kill that first one with your idiocy.

2) You just start to care exponentially less and let more and more shit go.

Horatio Cornblower

Once we had our second one and had a matched set I had a vasectomy within 6 weeks.

Best decision ever.

Spur
Spur

I think I need more RAM my PC is slowing down. Should i get 32 GB of RAM?

ballsofsteelandfury

Pornhub may be throttling your service…

blaxabbath

RAMMIT!

-Hippo, K (27 – Aspiring Pharmecutical Contol Supervisor and Lead Regulator)

Senor Weaselo

Have you tried downloading more RAM?

Spur
Spur

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scotchnaut

[wishing they had the tensile strength of those straps]

-Spiders weaving webs everywhere

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Those straps could have supported the Twin Towers after the planes hit on 9/11.
—Pete Carroll

Horatio Cornblower

Yes Joe, the Red Sox attack has been relentless. They’ve relentlessly refused to swing at pitches up and in at their heads, down and out in the other batter’s box, and/or bouncing 6′ in front of the plate and then through the catcher.

blaxabbath

Man people hate Joe Buck so much. I think that’s so awesome.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That makes five batters in a row the Dodgers can’t get out.

Senor Weaselo

Spur
Spur

Can we go back to Cursed Boston?

King Hippo

I’ve got your…sticky Bible!!

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Shouldn’t that be in an evidence locker?

Gratliff

Oh man. Is Always Sunny going to end the season on 5 straight Super Bowl POV episodes? Gonna be extra insufferable for the next few Wednesdays.

Spur
Spur

Dee is a weak character. I SAID IT

Horatio Cornblower

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!!!

King Hippo

you are BASTARD MAN, Dee is princess lady!!

Gratliff

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Horatio Cornblower

Eat a bag of dicks, Madsen.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

A few years back I briefly dated his au pair. And by briefly dated I mean I fucked her.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

So you’re Eskimo brothers now?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I hope it wasn’t while she was watching the kids. The fucking, I mean.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Nice miss Madison

Senor Weaselo

Oh for shit’s sake, not Ryan Madsen again.

Horatio Cornblower

He certainly announced his presence with authority…by throwing 2 of the first 4 at Martinez’s head.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

make that 4 out of 5

Senor Weaselo

Not even, it was Steve Pearce.

Horatio Cornblower

Those white guys all look alike to me.

Horatio Cornblower

Goddammit Dodgers.

2 out, no one on.

Now it’s 2 out, bases loaded.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Has everyone forgot the timeline we’re in?

Spur
Spur

Fucking West Coast Libs! If they had more boot strap Americans on their team, they would have the lead.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Too many lazy brown south-of-the-border-type folks on that team.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not anymore!

Spur
Spur

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Truth biscuit hearing the word “titties”
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Senor Weaselo

Oh, bother.

Spur
Spur

Like a Bear to Salmon and Honey.

I miss Patrice