Your “We Are The Skyscraper Condemnation Affiliates” Saturday Evening Open Thread

I’ve never made it a secret that The Kinks are my favourite band and the first concert I ever attended. It’s the 50th anniversary of this album, and the $160 vinyl box set that came out is on my Christmas wish list the second it gets transferred to digital or CD.


Sunday broadcast maps – courtesy 506sports.com

CBS SINGLE

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu
█ Pittsburgh @ Baltimore – Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts

█ Kansas City @ Cleveland – Greg Gumbel, Trent Green, Bruce Arians

█ NY Jets @ Miami – Andrew Catalon, James Lofton

█ LA Chargers @ Seattle (LATE) – Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon

█ Houston @ Denver (LATE) – Tom McCarthy, Steve Beuerlein

—————————————————

FOX EARLY

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu
█ Atlanta @ Washington – Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis

█ Detroit @ Minnesota – Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman

█ Chicago @ Buffalo – Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston

█ Tampa Bay @ Carolina – Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber

█ NO GAME due to local home game on CBS

UPDATES:

  • Cincinnati OH: ATL-WSH to DET-MIN
  • Albany NY: ATL-WSH to CHI-BUF

—————————————————

FOX LATE

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu
█ LA Rams @ New Orleans – Joe Buck, Troy Aikman

NO GAME due to local home game on CBS


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Leafs at Penguins – 7:00PM | CBC / NHLN
    • Bolts at Habs – 7:00PM | City
    • Oilers at Red Wings – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Black Hawks at Flames – 10:00PM | CBC
  • CFL:
    • Alouettes vs. Tiger-Cats – 7:00PM | TSN
    • Stampeders vs. Lions – 10:00PM | TSN
  •  NCAA:
    • Football: the first three look like dog shit, but then quality takes over
      • Duke at Miami – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Houston at SMU – 7:00PM | ESPNU
      • Notre Dame at Northwestern – 7:15PM | ESPN
      • UCLA at Oregon – 7:30PM | FOX
      • Alabama at LSU – 8:00PM | CBS
      • Oklahoma at Texas Tech – 8:00PM | ABC
      • Southern Cal at Oregon State – 10:00PM | FS1
      • BYU at Boise State – 10:15PM | ESPN2
      • San Diego State at New Mexico – 10:15PM | ESPNU
      • California at Washington State – 10:45PM | ESPN
    • Hockey:
      • Ohio State at Notre Dame – 7:00PM | NBCSN
  • NBA:
    • Pelicans vs. Spurs – 8:30PM | TSN2
  •  UFC:
    • UFC 230 Prelims: Cormier vs. Lewis:
      • From New York City – 8:00PM | FS1 / TSN3

This looks like a solid aperitif for Sunday’s NFL selections. MODERATION, MY PRETTIES!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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King Hippo

well now Okies done gone and ruined the surprise

Horatio Cornblower

ESPN just showed a picture of a skinny, sweating Ryan Leaf.

They probably took it last week.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess there’s a reason that OU is ranked 7th and TT isn’t ranked at all.

yeah right

I count every penny and I watch where it goes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3xi9lCmj-0

Viva La Tabula Raza

When I was on hold for my A School at NTC San Diego in summer 1981, the Kinks came to town. I didn’t want to go by myself, and I beseeched a buddy of mine to go. He was a disco dude from Manhattan, didn’t know much about rock and roll. I said, C’mon man, you’ve heard of their tune You Really Got Me, at least?” His response was Man, fuck you, I know that was Van Halen! But he did end up going to the show with me and had a good time.

yeah right

They were really fun.

Viva La Tabula Raza

From my late teens through my mid-20s, they released Low Budget, Give the People What They Want, State of Confusion, and Word of Mouth. These remain my favorite Kinks albums, although I know most fans prefer their earlier discs (such as the one up top).

Horatio Cornblower

The Ice Bills scored 9 goals against the Ice Red Blacks? The fuck is going on in Ottawa?

Spur

WTF. Tech just fucked the 2pt conversion

King Hippo

Guns Up!! converts the -2 pointer to pull within 4

Horatio Cornblower

Nice. Fold 7-2 off and the algorithim throws a flop of 7-7-2 at me.

King Hippo

Guns Up!! has a lineman named “STAWARZ” which I find humourous

Senor Weaselo

I find his lack of holding/getting through the line disturbing.

Horatio Cornblower

Nothing like belching with your mouth closed so the beer comes back up through your nose.

Brick Meathook

HOLY SHIT WTF OREGON STATE UNIFORMS?????????

King Hippo

are Troi Boiz being a little hard on the Beaver tonite?

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

King Hippo

glad somebody’s old enough to get it!

Horatio Cornblower

And creaky, too!

Brick Meathook

SHE SPEAKS JIVE

Viva La Tabula Raza

It may be apocryphal, but I understand there was a line where June asked Ward to go somewhere with her, but he couldn’t accompany her because he was going to “stay home and help the boys pack fudge tonight.” Don’t know if that was an actual line, but it was funny to us adolescents back in the 70s.

Horatio Cornblower

Dear God, Helen Keller could see those. From space.

Brick Meathook

Helen Keller can see those from inside her coffin.

King Hippo

Huzzah, Trees are back in push position!

/this counts as GREAT news today in #HAILGAMBLOR

Horatio Cornblower

FAT GUY TD over on the ESPN!

Unsurprised

Fat guy TDs are the best TDs.

herodotus450

In news that surprises no one, because LSU is from the SEC and just so good, Alabama is now awarded the rank of 0. One better than #1.

King Hippo

More specifically, they should be 1/x

Horatio Cornblower

That’s a whole lotta “MOTHERFUCKER” on the field mic on ESPN.

litre_cola

Why haven’t they guys in the Sonic commercials been murdered yet?

Senor Weaselo

Preferably by Sonic!

Horatio Cornblower

Why haven’t they gotten married, and made their relationship official?

King Hippo

too many chains in The South

herodotus450

“You’re goddamn right.”
-NAACP

Horatio Cornblower

Both of you take the rest of the night off and go get a goddamn snack.

King Hippo

well, y’all bitched when I used shock collars, is a gentleman just not supposed to protect his prop’ty a-tall? – Jerry R., Spartansburg, SC

Viva La Tabula Raza

The ad campaign is at it’s worst when they are pushing to sell coney dogs.

yeah right

Yeah rights very stupid 4 team parlay tomorrow includes:

Atl over the redacteds
Carolina over the Fitz magics
The undeclared Chargers over Seattle
And KC to cover as many points as Vegas can give.

Don’t trust me.
I’m baked.

Horatio Cornblower

But you’re such an excellent baker!

litre_cola

I thought I did the baking in the off season?

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah.

You’re the only one.

litre_cola

That is what I thought. Phew, got a bit paranoid there, you wouldn’t understand…

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t indulge, actually; never did much for me.

My better half, now, that’s another story.

yeah right

Home made bread.
comment image?resize=1132%2C509&ssl=1

yeah right

Dude, that Bahn Mi was so fucking good.

The kicker was the fresh basil!

King Hippo

KC still only favoured by 9, only the Bearistocrats! line is racing (up to 11 now)

herodotus450

Teams that scored more than 0 points against Alabama this year: Arkansas St., Louisville, Louisiana Lafayette

herodotus450

Surprisingly none of those teams are FCS squads, that falls to The Citadel two weeks from now.

Senor Weaselo

Bamaception, there stays the shutout.

King Hippo

turn to ESPN, always some Mike Leach stories

Horatio Cornblower

Playing poker on Pokerstars and I’m convinced the program is trying to set me up.

Brick Meathook

Whatever happened to DFO Poker? I played a few hands and realized that I was playing video poker while the others were playing real poker. I was the sucker at the table and I would always lose.

Horatio Cornblower

Everyone quit. To be fair, I did too. Too many late nights. I confine myself to tournaments these days where I can play hands while working.

I don’t take it too seriously, because the program seems designed to reward terrible poker.

Brick Meathook

There was some hysterically funny commentery in those games. I couldn’t understand how anyone could pay attention to the hand and type that much at the same time.

Senor Weaselo

Maybe throwing into triple coverage isn’t the greatest idea?

Horatio Cornblower

LSU is probably distracted by the upcoming mid-terms.

Senor Weaselo

They need to either Bear Down or Fat Dog!

King Hippo

too soon, Abed!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You mean, like, exams? I didn’t think those were a thing for football players at LSU. Or anywhere else.

litre_cola

Either this version of Bama is one of the best I have seen or the competition gap is quite large this year. The Sons of Clem are good but I do not think they stand a fucking chance.

Redshirt

Agreed. Usually they are oversold, but its looks like they are as great as advertised.

King Hippo

whole lots of work for half a yard

Horatio Cornblower

“Do yer jerb!”

King Hippo

ahem, due y’alls jawwwwwb

King Hippo

they have to just be thinking “avoid shutout” now, right?

Horatio Cornblower

They should be thinking about unleashing Mike the Tiger behind the ‘Bama bench.

King Hippo

they’d just slip on the blood and safety themselves 11 v 0

yeah right

Hail Hippo!

Hail Gamblor!

Got me a payday from that Duke win over Da U!

I owe you a beer my good friend.

King Hippo

I am very thankful at least that came through. Prevented really bad things!! HAIL indeed!!

yeah right

I have no idea how I’m going to spend the extra $2.87 cents of income!

I’m giddy!

Spur

#92 for Bama is going to be a 1st rd pick.

Horatio Cornblower

Hope he likes Vegas.

King Hippo

ok, I took A.A. Ron for $50 to win the first half tomorrow (+170), and $50 to win the match (+200)

Horatio Cornblower

Dr. Oz coming out against bacon just advances my position that Dr. Oz should be hung by the neck until dead.

Brick Meathook

Dr. Oz always reminds me of Dee Dee Ramone.

Horatio Cornblower

Not true. Dee Dee Ramone was a contributor to humanity.

Brick Meathook

Ha ha I don’t know anything about Dr. Oz except that everybody thinks he’s crackpot.

herodotus450

Need a playoffs with Alabama, Penn St., and Notre Dame to determine the ultimate “Plain Uniforms” team.

Senor Weaselo

Who’s the fourth team?

Horatio Cornblower

I was trying to think of another major college team with plain unis. I’m coming up blank.

Brick Meathook

Yale

herodotus450

Yeah i was hoping someone else would think of an obvious 4th. Nebraska maybe? Syracuse? USC? Or just throw Oregon in there.

Brick Meathook

I’d like to see Bama vs Yale just to see how many deaths occur on the field.

herodotus450

Because of all the claymore mines and trap doors that Skull and Bones would set up for Bama?

Unsurprised

Not enough.

Horatio Cornblower

When the facemask penalty accounts for your best offensive play, it might be time to rethink things.

King Hippo

remember, LSU. 22-8 is a COVER!

Spur

Boo this man

Redshirt

We should’ve seen this coming. LSU’s QB was so bad enough he couldn’t win OSU’s job and then he voluntarily went to the SEC.

Horatio Cornblower

LSU’s student-athlete is their 27-year old punter, because of course.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Actually, dude is still in the 8th grade.

litre_cola

And he was home skooled!

Senor Weaselo

History is doing a thing on Watergate and whoever they got to play Nixon looks just enough like Nixon to look nothing like Nixon

Horatio Cornblower

That’s supposed to be good.

Which is odd, since History’s offerings of late are generally confined to “What If Hitler Isn’t Dead And Is Being Held Prisoner By Ancient Aliens?”

Horatio Cornblower

This loss is going to drop LSU out of the play-offs. Meanwhile, ND will waltz in because their schedule is infinitely weaker, and if LSU played ND at a neutral site in, say, Wichita, you could not handicap LSU enough points for me not to bet on them.

herodotus450

Counterpoint: this game, in which LSU has looked not great and their qb seems to only throw into double coverage.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, this game doesn’t help my argument at all.

That said, if ND plays Alabama I will take a second mortgage out on my house to bet on Alabama -35.

King Hippo

agreed, Bama might just be manifestly unfair

herodotus450

Counterpoint: you can also sell your children/loved ones in some sort of human trafficking ring to up that bet even more.

Spur

Satan night throw the game for the lolz

Viva La Tabula Raza

Da U gets da L.

herodotus450

Alabammy gonna be eatin some good, kicker-shaped bbq after practice tomorrow.

JustStopDude

Oh bama…you got to make it look so easy…

herodotus450

Hot taek: considering the average footedball player, they probably wouldn’t even notice cte and other head issues.

King Hippo

I was 3 years old the last time Duke beat Miami.

King Hippo

OPI WOO!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

That LL Bean ad reminds me of a Thanksgiving a few years back. I thought it would be a good idea to have a bunch of my college buddies over to play a game of touch, and I emphasize touch, football. People came over, football was played, meats grilled and eaten, beer consumed.

No one got hurt, no one got carried away and started tackling, everyone had a good time.

The next day we were all calling each other “Hey, does it hurt when you breathe?” and the answer was a universal “yes”

Unsurprised

Time to go out on a solo trek into the desert to talk with the great spirits.

King Hippo

Duke will NOT make it easy

Horatio Cornblower

To be fair, they probably don’t know how; the official usually make things easy for Duke.

Horatio Cornblower

Who the fuck thought this “Aaron Rodgers Has An Asshole Agent Named Gabe” was a good idea?

Viva La Tabula Raza

it’s just a natural evolution of the discount double check.

King Hippo

Hope nobody fell for Northwestern’s tickling of the balls, for ain’t no happy ending on the way.

King Hippo

I wasn’t paying attention, how did LSU force a 3rd down?

herodotus450

Something something broken clock something something

King Hippo

remember, in case of emergency, break glass for Okies/Guns Up!!

King Hippo

when done laughing at Miami, obvs

Senor Weaselo

Let’s see if their defensive leader will help LSU do more than absolute fuck-all on offense!

King Hippo

he’s pretty rested, maybe he can play QB and RT!

King Hippo

that completion will get Da U’s QB almost up to 0 yards passing!

King Hippo

3/11 for -1 yard