JV NFL – Special Shame Friday Edition

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

Good hangover and fat shame morning, Commentist Party members!  The footy gods are kind today, at least.

/also LMFAO at Colt McCoy

Texas at Kansas (Noon, FS1)

All the Steerfuckers have to do is beat Waiting-on-Les-Miles to make the conference title match.  Can they possibly fuck this up?

Houston at Memphis (Noon, ABC)

In case you missed all the scoring from MNF, and can look past the lack of quality.

Arkansas at Missouri (2:30, CBS)

Pig Sooey are 23.5-point dogs, but they ALWAYS play well on Thanksgiving Friday.  I am smelling upset!

Virginia at Virginia Tech (3:30, ABC)

The Seminoles’ fall from grace has camouflaged the fact that VPI has fallen every bit as far, and as rapidly.  4-6 entering today.

Oregon at Oregon State (4:00, FS1)

Civil War, bitches!  I love rivalry matches with clever names.  The Quackers might be a little hard on the Beaver this year, though.

UCF at South Florida (4:15, ESPN)

Only the Bulls stand between us and more hand-wringing about the Hitler Mice only being able to beat the schedule that’s in front of em, yada yada.

Oklahoma at West By God Virginia (8:00, ESPN)

We really might have lost Sen. Manchin if not for all the various conservative coaches cutting that ad for him.  As such, much good karma to Fuckers du Cousins.  Nobody will even pretend at defensing.

Washington at Washington State (8:30, Fox)

Finally, the main event!  Oh, how I want to see Pirate Mike Leach take Wazzu to the PAC championship.  So, a moneyline bet on the boring-ass Huskies to win the Apple Cup is the only sensible play.

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Viva La Tabula RazaCol. Duke LaCrossMoose -The End Is Well NighBrick MeathookWCS Recent comment authors
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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

So, I just spent a few hours with this guy I work with and have known for over 10 years as a contractor, also happens to live about 4 miles up the road, and also ex Navy (12 year sonar tech CPO, then a nuclear physics degree, followed by 12 years SWO/ship driver, retired as O-5 LCDR). A real fucking poindexter, makes his own wine, tequila, and whiskey, all of them exemplary, and knows how to fix all kinds of shit. I’m going to go live on his property after the Trump-induced post-apocalyptic hellscape becomes a reality. Dude just put in a huge solar array, solar powered water well, he’s practically living off the grid already. Should at least extend my lifespan by a few months… Did I mention he made good booze?

Wakezilla

At a Christmas themed bar. It’s actually pretty cool. I am about to order a yippie kay yah mother fucker.

WCS

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WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

Just woke up from a 30 minute nap induced by tryptophan.

So what am I doing for dinner now?

More turkey.

ballsofsteelandfury

So, apparently Bob McNair, the Texans owner, just died.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Shotgun or…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beerguyrob

Canada won the repechage playoff & qualified for the Rugby World Cup in 2019.

Their reward: Pool B at next year’s World Cup alongside top-ranked New Zealand, No. 5 South Africa, No. 14 Italy and No. 23 Namibia.

Senor Weaselo

So you’re saying there’s a chance?

Wakezilla

It’s a damn shame they cut rugby funding in Canada. 6 years ago, if Canada were to get this group, they’d be praising Xenu because 3rd place and an automatic World Cup birth in the next World Cup would seem very attainable.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Interesting that Repechage is also a skin care product line.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yay?

Beerguyrob

Yes!
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Redshirt

UCF QB Injury (not NSFW, but its graphic)

h ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRdnbM3F56A

Redshirt

So I went to four hardware stores looking for a dirty water sump pump with a float and at least a 15 foot cord (my backyard is low and all water from the neighbors drains to my backyard) and all I found was indoor clean water sump pumps with 8 to 10 foot cords. I didn’t know devices could be downgraded to Theoretical or Hypothetical.

Senor Weaselo

So apparently something fucked up and the Tiger-Phil no-one-cares-a-thon is streaming free.

herodotus450
herodotus450

That makes it a 1% chance I’ll watch.

scotchnaut

I believe it’s been re-marketed as the “We Got Paid Already-Care For A Bit Of Empty Nostalgia?”

Redshirt

I’d rather watch a sex tape involving Donald Trump and his dominate hand.

Beerguyrob

“Phil Versus Tiger: I Ran Out Of Money For Elin” would be a more accurate title.

Horatio Cornblower

Still too expensive for me.

scotchnaut

Hate seeing the cart go out on to the field….

herodotus450
herodotus450

Well except for that one timecomment image

scotchnaut

Might have to spend the weekend in the land of ice and snow and slow internet and in-laws that never stop gossiping about people I don’t know. Fuckballs.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[drifts off into a ten minute dream sequence about the land of “ice” and “snow”] – Jim Irsay

herodotus450
herodotus450

smh they make devices that can scramble cell phone signals but where are the in-law scramblers?

Col. Duke LaCross

Nice closeup of birdshit on the goalpost there, Mr. FS1 camera guy.

scotchnaut

[Assembles “Sociopathic Roy Williams Haters Club”]

“Perhaps you’re wondering why I asked you to come here…”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RANGERS: [pull goalie]

FLYERS: [score]

RANGERS: [put goalie back in]

FLYERS: [score again]

Senor Weaselo

It was close for the first 55 minutes until the puck rang off the post!

scotchnaut

How generous and giving is this commenting community? No one threw me under the bus after I did same to Amari Cooper and he proceeded to go off. Thanks for recognizing that I’m just trying to maybe bring a smile to your faces in the intros by being a sarcastic/cynical fool almost all the time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m just biding my time waiting for Cowboys fans to confront the sticker shock after they see what kind of contract he’ll demand.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I never read your posts. I only accidentally read this one.

scotchnaut

[points down to your drill press pic]

Oh really, now?

yeah right

Hey look! Here I am at work!

This sucks as much as I expected!

scotchnaut

Ray Liotta is doing Chantix ads now but his best work was in…. Something Wild.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Looks like Hou-Mem switched to make-it-take-it rules in the 4th quarter, Memphis up 52-31.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Battle for the corn all tied up with 42 seconds to go

scotchnaut

Coach Martha Stewart iced the kicker!

herodotus450
herodotus450

East Corn pulls out the win

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Iowa coach wearing lipstick! Or blood. Or something. I don’t care.

Horatio Cornblower

Seamus will be happy to know that the Baltimore Orioles dominated 90’s baseball.

He’ll be less happy when it’s clarified that it was the 1890’s.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shrug. Makes about as much sense as us getting excited about stuff the Raiders and Cowboys did before we were born.

Horatio Cornblower

Uh, I’ve been alive for every Super Bowl the Cowboys, (and Raiders, for that matter), have ever won.
/crumbles to dust

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Horatio Cornblower (artist’s conception):
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SonOfSpam

Horatio Cornblower looks like Tony Dungy?

scotchnaut

Is Virginia a good basketball team? Yes. Are they as boring to watch as a drill press? Also yes.

Senor Weaselo

“Are they really though?” -UMBC basketball

Horatio Cornblower

Watching some of Ken Burns’s baseball documentary and there’s not much that pisses me off more than the brutal racism that kept blacks out of the game until Robinson. What a fucking waste, and by that I mean a waste of lost talent from the black players and all the oxygen wasted on the fucktards that kept them from playing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Racism will always be a refuge for people (and this goes for people like myself who try their best to resist it) who are confronted with a situation where someone with different color skin is better at something they want to be good at than they are.

scotchnaut

When I can pay for a ride on a time machine I’d like to go back and see Paige pitch against Ruth and others during the barn-storing tours that were done in the off-season. And I’m not that big a baseball fan. Maybe on the third or fourth trip I’d take care of Hitler.

#priorities

Beerguyrob

After you bang Bettie Page, of course.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[turns on Houston-Memphis game]

[frowns]

I don’t care for Beth Mowins.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I lasted 30 seconds on that game. Her “sports” voice is grating, like it’s a parody. Does that mean I’m sexist? No, it means that I have ears.

scotchnaut

“‘Sexist’ ears.”

-Andrea Dworkin

scotchnaut

I think the best vacation we had with the kidlings was taking them to the Atlantis water park. Everybody was happy and I discovered a treadmill with a tv screen attached. I lost 5 pounds in ten days.

scotchnaut

There’s almost too much sports on.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Kansas takes it away, then gives it right back after not putting up much of a fight. I haven’t seen a Kansan side do that since 1866

Game Time Decision

day drinking whilst in the office, and now need to do documentation, what could go wrong…hahaha

scotchnaut

I’m reporting you to Health and Safety.

/back in the day we all drove home drunk from work on Xmas Eve.

Game Time Decision

i think Health and Safety is drunk too.
Wait proving your point.

scotchnaut

Instituting a “No Alcohol on the Premises” policy in a blue collar town of 1,100 people went over about as well as you’d think.

/”But drinking on the job on New Year’s Eve is a tradition!” was said to me. He wasn’t being sarcastic.

herodotus450
herodotus450

I haven’t seen a Kansan cut like that since 1863. Jayhawks score a toucheddown.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My wife is begging me to take her out into the maws of Black Friday shopping (Target and Costco). What do I do?

litre_cola

Get high to make it tolerable.

SonOfSpam

Tell her ok, as long as she brews beer with you then services you, then don’t go anyway.

Horatio Cornblower

Call Lionel Hutz about a divorce

ballsofsteelandfury

Go for it. I’ve been out there. It’s not bad at all.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I would follow this advice, but won’t this set a bad precedent for the next time when it’s NOT fine?

ballsofsteelandfury

You just need to avoid the super early crowds. Mid morning all the crazy people are gone.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Gotcha.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Only if she agrees to refer to it as “African American” Friday out of extreme pre-emptive PCness

Fronkenshteen

Basil Fawlty trick knee!

Horatio Cornblower

Nothing like getting back from the gym/bookstore, (if I ever win Powerball I am opening a bookstore/bar and I am never leaving it), to find my wife is making toasted open-faced turkey sandwiches.

Horatio Cornblower

And there’s hockey on!

Horatio Cornblower

Counterpoint: Mike Milbury is still alive.

SonOfSpam

That sounds excellent
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want to trade wives. Wait, no, not wives. Sandwiches.

Horatio Cornblower

I put guacamole on my sandwich and now my wife is trying to have me condemned as a heretic.

I regret nothing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want my sandwich and/or wife back.

Horatio Cornblower

Both wives went to Kohl’s. I’ll tell them the deal is off when they get back.

blaxabbath

Anyone land any good deal today? Wife and I bought a mattress. Guess that was fine. But I don’t even know what I’m getting anyone this year so I don’t even know what to look for.

Horatio Cornblower

Bought two pairs of sweatpants at 30% off, so that’s pretty much the same thing.

Also spent some poker winnings at the bookstore. Got Beschloss’s Presidents of War and a book about Siberian exiles during the time of the Tsars called “The House of the Dead”. which has been on my list for a while, and is now on the enormous pile of “to-be read” books that is threatening to topple over and take out the chimney.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I got a free flu shot. At least that’s what the dude told me.

SonOfSpam

It’s ok, fentanyl addictions are easy to kick.

ballsofsteelandfury

I was THIS CLOSE to getting a Kitchenaid 5 Pro stand mixer for $220, but then I pulled out. Might end up getting a Trager grill instead.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, if you pulled out it’ll probably show up in nine months anyway.

Petronel

Trager may or may not be your best grill option.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Steam had a lot of my wishlist on sale today, so I went a little crazy.

scotchnaut

Memphis qb likes to make bad decisions.

blaxabbath

How very Tennessee of him.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I first read that as “Memphis bbq bad decision” and thought you had lost your damned mind.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I cannot find the words to adequately portray my level of disappointment this morning when Dr. Mrs. Deadly, Esq. announced that she did not have the slightest interest in learning how to brew beer.

blaxabbath

“You know what to do.”

-R Rice

Horatio Cornblower

I used to, but there’s so many brewers around now that it seems my time is better spent making money to spend with them.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Somewhere near my computer, some time ago:
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ballsofsteelandfury

So I just went to Total Wine for the very first time. HOLY SHIT! They have pretty much anything alcoholic you can think of…

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

TOTAL WINO

yeah right

That place is incredible. The one in Redondo is practically a mall by itself. I found a bottle of Pappy there, 16 year old.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Two months in LA and LeBron is already opening up a storefront…smh

blaxabbath

I’ve always been sorely disappointed by mine. More in terms of the service — when they had neither the beer nor the rum I was looking for, each time it was just like, “nope, ain’t got it.” Without any help getting it or something similar/adequate as a substitute.

SonOfSpam

That’s too bad – the one nearby us has excellent (and even knowledgeable) service. I guess what I’m saying is, Arizona sounds awful.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, I had 6 different people ask me if I needed help and one guy offered me a free sample of a beer cocktail (which I accepted) and didn’t hesitate when I asked to sample the beer by itself. I will definitely be back.

litre_cola

The one on Bell Rd in the North with the old people is fantastic. I found the Goodyear one lacking.

SonOfSpam

I like it magnitudes more than BevMo, which is stupid since they should be equal.

litre_cola

My first stop in Phoenix every time.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

It’s the Canadian Tire of American liquor stores.

Senor Weaselo

So, any of us doing the Little Drummer Boy Challenge? Essentially, from now until midnight December 23rd, don’t listen to The Little Drummer Boy song.

rockingdog
rockingdog

count me in!!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m in too, but that should be fairly easy.
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yeah right

Sold!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This time of year is particularly difficult for the most overworked of Andy Reid’s household servants, Little Drumstick Boy.

Senor Weaselo

They’re counting parodies too this year. And it doesn’t help that Madre Weaselo actually likes the song.
https://littledrummerboychallenge.com/

Game Time Decision

already failed at this. heard it the other day as the kids wanted to listen to Christmas songs in the car, and 3 radio stations are full on Christmas songs now.

herodotus450
herodotus450

The Battle of the Children of the Corn, Nebraska-Iowa, is also… occurring.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

The bird on the KU helmet looks ridiculous, I can’t believe the players aren’t embarrassed having to wear it. Makes me feel like having a bowl of Froot Loops.

blaxabbath

They’re paid not to care.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a fun:

herodotus450
herodotus450

In an alternate universe somewhere, Kansas is the favorite in this game on the way to the BCS championship led by their head coach Mor Meters.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Not a lot of folks in the stadium there. Maybe the student body all went home for the holiday. Or they are attending the game in that alternate universe of which you speak.

Fronkenshteen

You ain’t kidding about OU @ WVU. The O/U is 85.5!

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

I hope everyone’s Thanksgiving was good. The smoked turkey turned out great, the sides were perfect, and the dessert was great, or the fact that I had consumed a complete growler of beer from the brewery my son works out (and he did not tell me was 8% ABV till the growler was gone) made everything taste better.

Horatio Cornblower

Horatio’s post-Thanksgiving weigh-in came in at a surprising 218, well under Hippo’s O/U line of 219.5.

Not gonna lie, I could have done better, but the I think the beer held me back.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Just change your scale to kilograms and boom! instant weight loss by a factor of 2.2

Game Time Decision

stone, go with stone

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– overconfident casting director to a clearly apprehensive Cameron Crowe

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’m at my boyhood home back East and my mom always watches TV shows that I otherwise never ever see. Today, Ellen, The Chew, all the Food Network shows, etc. Most of these quietly drive me berzerk, but I gotta admit I have a soft spot for Hoda and Kathy Lee, those two drunk old broads. Football at noon today in this house, however.

yeah right

For the record, dinner was absolutley flawless yesterday. Everything was top fucking notch.

yeah right

You know what will be fun?

Going to work today will be the exact opposite of that. Every year with this Friday after Thanksgiving work shit.

Fuck productivity I showed up didn’t I?

litre_cola

Anyone going to go fight club for a flatscreen today?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Why go to the store to buy one when you can just wait until after Xmas and look at peoples’ trash to see who bought something that you want and then go burglarize it for free instead?

/has graduated from just stealing fruit.

Wakezilla

Calgary does it as well. I’m considering going to EB games to pick up a game or two as most are half off. I might even Christmas shop

litre_cola

I am heading out to pick up groceries, and then may perhaps do some Christmas shopping after the crazies have pillaged everything.

My weed is still caught in the mail. THERE WILL BE BLOOD!

Game Time Decision

don’t you work for them? Like you don’t know a “guy” that knows a “guy” to help you out.

litre_cola

Yeah i do. I dont work in the facility that delivers to me. The strike only affects me getting stuff as I am not in the union.

Senor Weaselo

Ha, nope!