Your “The Cavalcade of Sports Continues” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

Let’s go directly, TO THE GAMES!

Jags/Bills:

Had I told you at the birth of the season that the Bills would be matching the Jags win for win after 10 games in you’d most likely say, “I know you’re fucking with me but I don’t know exactly how.” Each team has but three wins but Buffalo has rook qb Josh Allen back but he’ll be in tough against cb’s Ramsey and Bouye and his own 54% completion rate. Bortles doesn’t have it any better though-the Bills d-line gets things done. So I figure this’ll be a sloppy game that will be determined by who profits most on turnovers.

Browns/Bengals:

Shefter is reporting that A.J. Green is a no-go but I’m leaving Tyler “Can’t Play Against #1 CB’s Yet” Boyd on my bench. (watch him go off) Browns players are giving short shrift to the notion that Hue Jackson joining the ‘enemy’ gives the Bengalis an advantage. “We didn’t respect him when he was coaching us, why would we start now?”, I imagine one player saying. Cincy’s lb’s can’t cover and their interior d-line has been decimated by injury so the Browns will be able to score. But when all is said and done, this will be a sloppy game decided by who most profits from turnovers.

Pats/Jets:

The New Englanders have the New Jerseyers number these days. Here’s hoping that the game will be a sloppy, turnover-heavy affair.

Giants/Eagles:

Them Giants won last week by introducing Saquon to the ball early and often. This week they’d be dumb as hell to do the same thing because 4 of the Eagles 5 top cb’s are out and the 5th is questionable. (gently kicks Gronk to the curb, inserts Engram into lineup) Philly is so short of players (How short are they?) that wr’s were filling out the secondary during practice this past week. More good news? That D of theirs ranks dead-last in defending the big play and (somehow) the Giants are 5th in generating big plays.

Niners/Bucs:

Weapons charges, possession of pot and now domestic abuse-“the million dollar body with the .10 brain”, Reuben Foster hit the trifecta last night and won a night in jail.  If this isn’t a dead giveaway for a sloppily-played game filled with turnovers, I don’t know what is.

Seahawks/Panthers:

Which Carolina team will show? Will it be the one that tarred and de-feathered the Ravens or the one that rolled over vs. the Steelers? Asked to comment, Riverboat Ron Rivera exclaimed, “Well, we’re 5-0 at home this year with a +10 turnover differential so I’ll take my chances with a sloppy game that’s filled with turnovers”.

Raiders/Ravens:

Baltimore is only a .500 team but one can’t help thinking they’re going to whup the snotgiving out of pre-Vegas. What’s left of Gruden’s Grinded Gears have to be looking at Mack leading a killer D and Cooper going off just a few days ago and questioning their Dear Leader’s cognitive abilities. All in all, I think this game will be a.) sloppy and b.) filled with turnovers.

Who smells burnt toast?

 

 

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litre_cola

The conundrum, have a nap or drink wine, get stoned in quiet time while the family sleeps.

rockingdog

found a funny:
me: i keep asking myself basic existential questions

therapist: why?

me: yeah, like that

rockingdog

uttt oh…sony michel looks out for patriots…..

tomsellecksmoustache

It looks like CBS is still an active participant in the war on Christmas with their Happy Holidays bullshit.

litre_cola

BOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Gratliff

I booed my boss after his presentation during our yearly opening day. His last joke bombed and he couldn’t look up while he walked back to our table, but I let him know how it went because I’m a nice guy.

Horatio Cornblower

A sold-out Garth Brooks concert at Notre Dame? Look, I’m not saying I want the plot of Tom Clancy’s ‘The Sum Of All Fears’ to actually happen, but if it was ever going to…

Viva La Tabula Raza

Myself, I didn’t know that the French were fans of country music.comment image

Horatio Cornblower

After the Garth Brooks concert, the deluge.

Dunstan

The Thunder Rolls?

King Hippo

oh, LAMAR!

Mother Puncher

Is he just not running anymore?

Gratliff

Huh. Giants may actually be tied by the end of the half. How Gints.

Gratliff

Welp nevermind that shit

Petronel

Not over yet

Petronel

OK, now it is

rockingdog

gahhhhhhh
halftime tied at 10-10 for the jets vs patriots

Horatio Cornblower

My parents could never done that to me, since none of my kids were born before ’98.

herodotus450

When his mom was pregnant she was, “waiting for Goedert.”

King Hippo

Needed that Ertz to stop BFC

Gratliff

At least Ertz is still good

Dunstan

Is it too early to start making Grey Cup jokes?

The RedBlacks will always be the Roughriders to me. Oops, I mean the Rough Riders.

Dunstan

The other week I made fun of the Bears’ weak franchise QB records, but that graphic they just showed for the Browns is … well, Browns-like. Mayfield could tie the franchise record for “most consecutive games with 2+ TD passes” with…. six?

King Hippo

yeah, pretty weak sauce. Speaking of sauce, you would think Kosar did better than that.

herodotus450

21-0 Browns? Hue Jackson was an inside job!

rockingdog

yoooooooooooooooooo

Petronel

First time in a while I’ve actually wanted to watch Battle Ohio.

ArmedandHammered

The Eagles don’t have a Superbowl hangover, it looks more like full on alcohol poisoning.

Gratliff

jesus fuck

King Hippo

yup, that’s me ded ($$ league)

rockingdog

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Petronel

No shutout woo

…sigh

King Hippo

need MOAR Breida pls

Sharkbait

Subscribe

Mother Puncher

Bengals giving me a good excuse to just play red dead for 6 hours straight instead of the 3 I was planning on

Dunstan

Ironically, “Red Dead” is also a good description of the Bengals’ QB right now

Dunstan

I feel like I’ve missed a joke here, but … yes?

Dunstan

Ah, thanks. I’ve popped in here and there, but in truth haven’t been watching much football this season. And when I have, it’s usually just been background noise. But always fun to drop in on the DFO’ers.

rockingdog

suck it bengals!!!! comment image

tomsellecksmoustache

I just wish Pacman was still around for this beatdown. I’d love to see how punchy he’d get.

Sharkbait

BLEERGH is in control in New York

Mother Puncher

I’m still hungover and my wife refuses to feel bad for me

rockingdog

Ive got some weed if you want some…

Mother Puncher

Isn’t that stuff illegal?

tomsellecksmoustache

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Mother Puncher

Update: she’s angry and going for a walk because I complained about her doing dishes too loudly

Mother Puncher

Naa I was nice to her parents last night. I’m just a dick

tomsellecksmoustache

Just be sure that the dishes are still in the sink when she gets back home from the walk. She’ll be even angrier if you take those away from her.

Horatio Cornblower

This is excellent advice. Maybe make yourself some lunch and toss those dishes in as well.

Doktor Zymm

If that’s because you weren’t sharing your booze yesterday then she’s right to be mad

tomsellecksmoustache

Couple that with a Browns team that isn’t inept and I feel like we’ve all been raptured to an alternate universe.

Petronel

“Jah-queez?” Fairly sure that’s not how it’s pronounced, KNBR-68 dude.

Fronkenshteen

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Petronel

Exactly.

rockingdog

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Viva La Tabula Raza

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King Hippo

my choice of Elisha over Red Rocket is working. Thanks to Litre for confirming my gut there.

Gratliff

I believe his kids are currently playing DB for the Eagles

litre_cola

No worries. Homeless secondary.

King Hippo

LAMAR! has some issues as a passer

Fronkenshteen

My daily fantasy bets are noticing.

Doktor Zymm

Decision time, do I get dinner on my last night in Athens at the Irish pub that I heard shows american football, or do I go get some delicious souvlaki? I’m thinking souvlaki

Fronkenshteen

Chinese!

ArmedandHammered

An Irish pub in Athens? I bet the potatoes are actually delicious for once.

Doktor Zymm

It’s called The James Joyce, and they probably are

Brick Meathook

What do they call a Quarter Pounder w/ Cheese in Athens?

Horatio Cornblower

Unaffordable.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Last time I was in Athens, UGa beat the dogshit out of Kentucky. Can’t remember what year that was.

We might be talking about a different Athens.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m willing to bet that the kid with head lice probably hasn’t had any of his vaccinations, either.

King Hippo

good news, I moneyline bet the Bills!

/bad news, also the striped pylons

rockingdog

yooooooo
Circle da wagons!!!!

Redshirt

On the bright side, getting blown out by the Browns could get Lewis fired.

Spanky Datass

There’s stupid, then there’s Jets brain-trust stupid.

King Hippo

Hold my beer! – Dakota Jeebus

Gratliff

Gronk looking more and more like a cyberpunk heavy. I expect his wrist to flip back to expose an RPG launcher.

Doktor Zymm

Despite being on the Pats, that would make him my favorite player of all time

rockingdog

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Fronkenshteen

This is the worst first quarter I’ve suffered all year. And I’ve had some fucking first quarters.

King Hippo

throw it to THE JEW you MAGA asshole

Spur

Let Cam throw it in the red zone.

Fronkenshteen

McCaffrey is not strong enough to be a bell cow back.

King Hippo

misdirection always = run up the gut

Fronkenshteen

MotherFUCK Evan Engram up his fucking weak ass with a fucking pineapple.

litre_cola

Hey Grat, down 9-0 after this dumpster fire start is alright, I guess…

Gratliff

About the best you can hope for with a secondary filled by Make-A-Wish

Spur

Cleveland Block Party..bring your own knife.

Spur

J-E-T-S
JETS JETS JETS

SHOW ME YOUR TITS!

rockingdog

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Sharkbait

New England Defense looking as solid as they were 2 weeks ago

rockingdog

Bills look like they having fun!
circle the wagons!!!!!!

Spur

What was the point of trading for Golden Tate?

blaxabbath

Fuck my ff team right in the asshole.

Spur

The Mormon loophole

blaxabbath

Why are the Jets wearing Gotham City sideline gear?

blaxabbath

Ted Ginn Jr catches the ball like a vampire targeted by a load of garlic bread.