More squadoos playing? You bet. TO THE GAMES!
Bengals/Chargers:
Cincy is likely to get stomped given that wr Green is done for the year and rb Mixon was limited in practice all week. On top of all that The Fecund One, Mr. P. Rivers, has placed yet another sperm bomb into Tiffany’s nether region. But perhaps this game catches the Bolts off guard, given the emotional win last week vs. Pitt and their upcoming battle with K.C.
Broncs/Niners:
The fellas that poor Nick Mullens had to lean on in the passing game go by the handles of Goodwin, Pettis and Kittles. That last guy is a tight end that has proved this year that he belongs but all I can think of is cat food when I read his name.
Eagles/Cowboys:
They came, they played, they caused people to boo uncontrollably. Philly’s running back trio of Adams, Clement and Smallwood have a collective average of 4.3 yards per carry so far this season. Each one brings a little something different to the game and it helps to keep opposing D’s a wee bit off balance. Though you wouldn’t call the Cowboys D a difference-maker they have played capably in that they’ve yet to give up 30 points in a game.
Steelers/Raiders:
Raiders have a mere 10 sacks so far this year so Ben should have all the time in the world for Brown and Smith-Schuster’s patterns to unfold. Quick! Name a player in the Raiders secondary. I thought so-if they did have someone of quality Gruden would have traded him by now.
Lions/Cards:
An inter-conference tilt that means nothing to no one.
Let’s get some soup!
Sproles isn’t having this shit
Hey, at least he ain’t fumble??
D-O-N-K-S!!
Dak’s targeting unit seems to need a good smack.
fucking Dak
Mark Sanchez is the best starting QB in the East.
Most accurate.
The only one with a normal fucking first name. Yeah, I said it.
“Mom! Gratliff said something that hurt my ears!”
-Eli
I am more angry than the Superb Owl. Could be the cold meds.
Having small children will absolutely lower your rage settings.
Fightin’ Grudens over the Fightin’ Epps?
An Italian luger named Kevin? I’m gonna need to see some papers on this one.
stellar 3rd down for the Eagles
chaps by definition are ass less.
YUP, ASSED CHAPS ARE CALLED PANTS
Sweet. NFL Saturday football is back. There was a 5-8 period the NFL stopping putting games on.
it makes me very, very happy
Not exactly the most compelling of matchups, but I’ll take them.
Gotta say, I’m not a fan of women announcing luge; it takes away from the purity of the sport and is clearly just a nod towards the politically correct libtard crowd.
/has no understanding whatsoever of luge
Do they coach lowering your head going into contact as an rb? Curling up seems instinctive, putting your head in a vulnerable spot not so much
Suttondown pls
Donks running the slowest-motion hurryup ever
Good job Dak but you still suck.
Zeke’s hair saved him from a concussion.
OK Ginger Jeebus, Ertz down it is simple
That was purty
Suddenly Dak is good again.
God, Birdcano are stupid
I do not want Zeke hurt but he did lead with the head.
Counterpoint: Fuck him. He deserves it.
I’m ok with it
I thought he was getting shoved from behind and that it should have been a no-call, but fuck it. No matter what happens, I still have to go to work tomorrow.
Good try Striped Pylons
Deal Or No Deal was the dumbest show. You’re offering me $14,000 because I picked some suitcases?
Yeah, fuck it, I’m out.
It’s actually a pretty interesting economic/psych experiment
That I would agree with.
About how much money it takes to make Howie Mandel host a game show and occasionally be touched by the unwashed masses? You make a convincing argument.
Not sure who has joked about a reality TV show where sick people battle for the chance to get their medical debt paid off, but we’re probably a year or two away from GoFundMe: The Game Show.
I might watch that.
Not Zack Martin. please be ok.
Ded
now FEED BEATIE
That’s a garbage call. Elliott’s getting pushed from behind.
And here come the make-up calls!
No call is as brutal as the opening fumble.
I didn’t see it but I will assume you are correct, because nothing is as bottomless as the incompetence of NFL officiating.
Fumbled kick off return by Dallas. Play blown dead while the ball was under a pile of Eagles. After review, Dallas maintains possession due to “no clear recovery”
I’m sure it was the correct call, and the reason will be made clear tomorrow morning, after the NFL has had time to make that reason up.
Yo Donks. On 4th down, throw BEYOND the first down marker.
Elliott looks wobbly.
He always looks like that, it’s a consequence of being an entitled dickhead
Helmet Hit on the OFFENSE?!
Is that the rb rule they passed a few years ago but never enforced?
Joe Buck yelling about a good tackle just before Elliott breaks said tackle and runs for 14 yards.
I AM SORRY THAT I AM EMOTIONAL!!!
I’m cool with it, need a hug?
Beatie should be getting 30+ carries, he runs angry
That’s not the only thing he does angry.
Churns butter with the amish?
Guy named Semen just went off prematurely and has blown his chance at the luge.
Please make your own jokes below.
So is it the missed FG or the missed PAT that brings destruction here?
give us the DRAW, o Lord Jeebus
Shit play calling
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJHUbtR0yI8
One more hour delay, looks like I get to watch the end of the game
Damn, are you going up into orbit or something?
Not even close to the edge of the atmosphere!
The fuck happened to Denver?
Best offensive player and only reasonable starting CB had major owies before the game. NO SMIRE
What did you think would happen when a horse was left at the controls?
They hired the dude from Cum Town as QB
I’m probably the only person who will understand and appreciate this joke
yeah, I ain’t googling it
It’s a podcast. One of the hosts is a stand-up comic named Nick Mullen.
more pro-Yinzer bullshit
How was that not a fumble? Mirror image of the mascara incident.
Welp, Karma does exist
yup and yup
This luge track seems very dirty.
Make up bullshit passer inconveniencing call
Have just successfully Instant Pot-ted four chicken breasts. First actual food cooked in the thing. So, even if the Tomsulas manage to piss this one away in some ridiculous fashion, I’ll have at least one win in my day.
current win probability: 97.2%
Instant pot will fuck up some chicken. It’s so good.
I’m looking forward to fucking some chicken the HELL up. 🙂
When I Instant Pot a chicken, it’s because I was hiding my strain from the authorities!
how is it not fucking empty hand for BOTH sides?
That’s a fumbre
F bombs in front on inlaws with Decilitre here nawt a good thing.
It’s your house. Toss ’em if they don’t like it.
[cringes, waits for inevitable A bombs]
-The Japanese
FUCK EM
Holy shit it’s Sproles! He is ALWAYS GOOD! Why the fuck don’t teams keep him?
his ligaments are made of tissue paper
This is his 5th season with Philly
I guess I don’t see them enough, but he’s bounced around a lot it seems.
Dean Spanos. Need more be said?