Your Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

More squadoos playing? You bet. TO THE GAMES!

Bengals/Chargers:

Cincy is likely to get stomped given that wr Green is done for the year and rb Mixon was limited in practice all week. On top of all that The Fecund One, Mr. P. Rivers, has placed yet another sperm bomb into Tiffany’s nether region. But perhaps this game catches the Bolts off guard, given the emotional win last week vs. Pitt and their upcoming battle with K.C.

Broncs/Niners:

The fellas that poor Nick Mullens had to lean on in the passing game go by the handles of Goodwin, Pettis and Kittles. That last guy is a tight end that has proved this year that he belongs but all I can think of is cat food when I read his name.

Eagles/Cowboys:

They came, they played, they caused people to boo uncontrollably. Philly’s running back trio of Adams, Clement and Smallwood have a collective average of 4.3 yards per carry so far this season. Each one brings a little something different to the game and it helps to keep opposing D’s a wee bit off balance. Though you wouldn’t call the Cowboys D a difference-maker they have played capably in that they’ve yet to give up 30 points in a game.

Steelers/Raiders:

Raiders have a mere 10 sacks so far this year so Ben should have all the time in the world for Brown and Smith-Schuster’s patterns to unfold. Quick! Name a player in the Raiders secondary. I thought so-if they did have someone of quality Gruden would have traded him by now.

Lions/Cards:

An inter-conference tilt that means nothing to no one.

Let’s get some soup!

 

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Romonobyl

Nancy Kerrigan said it best:
WHHYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!WHYWHYWHY…WHYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?

Spur

Just an ugly game.

...

The only good NFC East is hilarious inept NFC East

Mr. Ayo

LET THEM HAVE TIES!

Gratliff

Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Romonobyl

This has surpassed all levels of face-palming.

Horatio Cornblower

If this game is decided by a garbage snap it would be perfect.

Mr. Ayo

DAKDAKDAK DAK!

...

lol this stupid fucking team

Horatio Cornblower

You’re going to need to narrow that one down.

Gratliff

loooooooooooooooooool

Gratliff

From literally the first play of the game, the refs have been flipping a coin to see which team to fuck. I hate this so much.

Petronel

Watching P*ts post game presser. Long stretches of silence in which it seems like nobody can think of any questions to ask Belichick.

Redshirt

“Did you consider putting in a safety, cornerback or even a wide receiver who plays on special teams instead of Gronk?”
“Shoot that man.”
(gunshot – body thuds)
“Any other questions?”

litre_cola

I am starting to side with Balls on how ridiculous all of this is.

Horatio Cornblower

This game is coming to a nailbiting finish and I hate every minute of it because of the officials.

JustStopDude

“The result of the play stands as there was no penalty committed by either team. We don’t really know what we are doing. We are scared. Its loud here…and we just want to go home”

Redshirt

I just orgasmed spontaneously. What happened in PIT-OAK?

Romonobyl

This has been a terrible game, regardless of the outcome.

King Hippo

YUP

King Hippo

seriously, EVERY GODDAMNED PLAY

Gratliff

Even the legit flags are infuriating at this point

Gratliff

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Col. Duke LaCross

Wait, aren’t the Browns still alive for the division?

Horatio Cornblower

If that division is the NFC East, then yes.

JustStopDude

A moderate apocalypse…we could still take the AFC Championship!

Gratliff

If Dak has the most basic of accuracy, this would be the New Orleans game

Redshirt

Oh, Steelers. You exist only to kick me in the nuts.

Spur

Fuck the Steelers!

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

–Blair Walsh

Horatio Cornblower

Never get tired of that one.

Mr. Ayo

These replies seem sarcastic. Just know I will not stop until I receive a legit death threat.

Dunstan

Ice Bears have just tied up their game against the Ice Alouettes

King Hippo

WOW, Oakland

Mr. Ayo

lol Gruden

King Hippo

followed by LOL Yinzers! Perfect ending for two teams I hate intensely.

Romonobyl

OK refs, you’ve sufficiently made up for your dumass OPI call, how ’bout some actual officiating now?

Senor Weaselo

You’re asking for competence? You do know it’s NFL refs, right?

Horatio Cornblower

That train has long since left the station, then left the tracks, then burned up with no survivors.

Spur

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Beasley is useless.

Horatio Cornblower

WTF even is that call?

King Hippo

contact with the helmet? Must have been a ghost.

Horatio Cornblower

I couldn’t even see any contact.

Gratliff

Refs are calling anything to make it look like they have some fucking idea which sport they’re watching

King Hippo

if you call EVERYTHING in the book…eventually you’ll run into a correct one?

Doktor Zymm

If they call traveling…

Redshirt

I’m waiting for them to call “Infield Fly Rule” on a punt.

Redshirt

Eagles: “No, go for one and follow The Book!”
Riverboat Marv: “Screw that! Go for two!”

King Hippo

How I would LOVE the Yinzers losing the last playoff spot to the goddamned LOLfins

litre_cola

Alright homeless secondary. Please hold.

Spur

Poor Vander Esch

Doktor Zymm

YUP!

Romonobyl

i am soooo not in the mood for OT tonight.

...

THE 7-9 DREAM LIVES

Mr. Ayo

Tiny Sproles cannot be stopped.

Gratliff

HOLD ME CLOSER TINY DARREN

Petronel

TINYDARRENDOWN!

Redshirt

BWHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

King Hippo

Yinzers in Oaktown continues to be a thing

JustStopDude

Whoa…no penalty for touching the QB? What the shit?!?!

Spur

let them score to save the clock. no way the Clapper will do this.

Mr. Ayo

Dr House is disappoint

Gratliff

This game has become exciting, but it’s fucked because who fucking knows what it would look ilke without 4 quarters of ref fuckery.

Horatio Cornblower

This

JustStopDude

It would not have looked like a modern NFL game…that is for sure…

JustStopDude

You go to love the official in the corner there, with the look that a dog would have at seeing calculus being performed in front of it.

Its like he has never seen a forward pass before and had to check to see if it was legal.