This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs, who won’t, who will win, and who won’t.
As promised, I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any bullshit you may see. At the end of the season, I’ll recap and highlight in green any predictions I got right.
If any.
Without further ado, TO THE STANDINGS!
AFC
This week was going to be big in the standings but one thing I did not expect was for New England to lose. That wraps up the #1 seed for the Chiefs.
I’ve said that the AFC divisional races and the Wild Card races were pretty much over and that the only intrigue left was to see the seedings. I stand by that assessment only in the sense that the 6 playoff teams are locked in as every other team in the AFC is absolute dogshit. That dogshit pile includes Pittsburgh, but they’ve got a lead on the rest of the pack so they get the last Wild Card spot until they fuck up again.
Which will probably be next week.
I now see Baltimore overtaking the Steelers for the AFC North although that won’t mean much for both teams in the big scheme of things. The embarrassing loss at Oakland happened right on schedule and moves Baltimore into the division winner spot.
I also said that the ambrosia salad days of mayo, Wonder bread, and vanilla ice cream are over and that it’s Lamar Time! After a great effort in KC, Harbaugh would be nuts to switch back back now. Which he may because that family is all kinds of nuts.
Here is how I see them finishing this week:
- Kansas City
- New England
- Houston
- Baltimore
- San Diego
- Pittsburgh
Here is the comparison to previous weeks:
| # | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Actual |
| 1 | KC | KC | KC | KC | ||||
| 2 | NE | NE | NE | NE | ||||
| 3 | PIT | HOU | HOU | HOU | ||||
| 4 | HOU | PIT | PIT | BAL | ||||
| 5 | LAC | LAC | LAC | LAC | ||||
| 6 | BAL | BAL | BAL | PIT |
AFC Playoffs
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Actual | |
| WC1 | PIT>BAL | PIT>LAC | PIT>LAC | PIT>HOU | ||||
| WC2 | HOU>LAC | HOU>BAL | HOU>BAL | BAL>LAC | ||||
| D1 | NE>PIT | NE>HOU | NE>HOU | NE>BAL | ||||
| D2 | KC>HOU | PIT>KC | KC>PIT | KC>PIT | ||||
| C | NE>KC | NE>PIT | NE>KC | NE>KC |
The matchups have changed, but the results will be the same. No one is getting in the way of a New England-Kansas City AFC Championship.
NFC
The Cowboys have basically assured themselves the NFC East crown by beating the Eagles at home in a great game. With the Saints and Rams clinching the divisions, it’s almost a carbon copy of the AFC in the sense that most of the playoff teams are locked in.
The Seahawks are solidly in the #5 spot and they are looking formidable. Last night’s win shows they can do some damage in the playoffs and could at the very least spring the upset in the Wild Card round thanks to their D. Meanwhile, the Rams’ loss means the Saints have the inside track for the #1 seed.
The race for the last Wild Card spot is tightening up as the Eagles and Vikings dropped back to join the pack. The pack, though, is full of doody as the Panthers lost to the Browns and no one else seems capable of making a run.
That includes the Vikings. Given last night’s game, I’m putting the Eagles in and the Vikings out. I still say that the fact that the Eagles are the defending Super Bowl champs counts for something.
Here is how I see them finishing this week:
- Saints
- Rams
- Bears
- Cowboys
- Seahawks
- Eagles
Here is the comparison to previous weeks:
| # | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Actual |
| 1 | LAR | LAR | LAR | NO | ||||
| 2 | NO | NO | NO | LAR | ||||
| 3 | CHI | CHI | CHI | CHI | ||||
| 4 | DAL | DAL | DAL | DAL | ||||
| 5 | CAR | SEA | SEA | SEA | ||||
| 6 | SEA | CAR | PHI | PHI |
NFC Playoffs
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Actual | |
| W1 | SEA>CHI | CHI>CAR | PHI>CHI | CHI>PHI | ||||
| W2 | CAR>DAL | SEA>DAL | SEA>DAL | DAL>SEA | ||||
| D1 | SEA>LAR | SEA>LAR | LAR>PHI | CHI>LAR | ||||
| D2 | NO>CAR | NO>CHI | NO>SEA | NO>DAL | ||||
| C | NO>SEA | NO>SEA | NO>LAR | NO>CHI |
I’ve now flip flopped on a few things as Sunday’s game showed me there CAN be tittykissing in January. I think the Bears can beat the Eagles at home and the Rams in LA, but not the Saints in New Orleans.
I still say that the NFC Championship will be the real Super Bowl as the winner will handle New England in The Asshole.
Superb Owl
Saints beat New England.
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Actual |
| NO>NE | NO>NE | NO>NE | NO>NE |
***
Go ahead, yell at me and tell me I’m stupid.
Two years ago, this would have been a nightmare. But now…
I appreciate you not putting the Dolphins on here because you don’t want to jinx them. Their chances of winning out is significantly higher that the Stillers’
You’re welcome.
This week decides everything. If PIT loses and Miami wins, the Dolphins get the last spot.
mean mugging…..
I’m not a Seattle fan, but I would absolutely buy one of those just for the extremely loud green colour.
It’s a beauty
You could sell those in Paris and they could be un-ironic Seahawks fans because they don’t know what football is and they don’t speak English and they probably think Seattle is next to Texas.
somehow I missed this…
https://twitter.com/bigseanq/status/1071954527505518592?s=21
Can’t be real, as this seems more likely.
https://twitter.com/josephshmoe7/status/1072125616953155584
Really a shame the Gruden rebuild isn’t showing immediate results
Explosive.
“Oh, it is.” – Cowboys and Bears fans
/but seriously, I still have no regrets over the Amari Cooper trade; he’s going to be demanding Mack-level money (justifiably, if he keeps putting up these numbers) as early as next year, so the Cowboys will have given up a first round pick for a guy they probably could have gotten for a song (in terms of draft picks) soon enough anyway.
Reggie McKenzie was dragging him down. Everything will be different now.
With a few exceptions (PIT, PHI), any of these teams could easily get hot in a playoff game
Pittsburgh could absolutely get hot in a playoff game. I want to see them play against KC in the divisional round for that very reason.
If you don’t think THE BEN can take advantage of any opening that is given to him (or not given to him, or has been deliberately plied with drinks so that it’s virtually unconscious and can’t legally decide whether it wants to give that opening to him or not), then you don’t know THE BEN.
Sorry, the team is dysfunctional at this point, especially on the road. I’m not saying they can’t fix some thing or that there is no way; I’m saying that it is a very low probability. In a close game against quality talent they are making way to many mistakes. The defense is not playing very well, so that presses him to make desperate throws even more than his usual throw it up in contested situations. With the talent at wide receiver and the rapist you can’t count them out completely, but the probability is very low IMO. Knowing the rapist? I have watched every playoff game with him involved, but I’m not a homer like some.
The same is true with the Beagles.
This is true. The Eagles have to prove it on the field.
This week will show whether they can get their shit together or not. If they can beat New England without stepping on their dicks, they get in the playoffs and have the potential to get hot.
Lose like always and the season is over.
Pit has P*ts, Saints and Bumgles. Think they win 2 of 3 to get in?
The key will be this week. If they beat the Pats, they easily beat Cincy in the last weekend.
Exactly; they won’t have a chance.
Houston.
It’s an absolute atrocity that the Texans do not get more [DFO] love. Then again, living in a time where President Donald Trump, a man who serial molests his own daughter as a getup for selling immigrant babies into human sex trafficking operations — where he and his buddies rewrote the law specifically to design in loopholes for their operations to slip through — while his mail-order bride broadcasts an “I don’t care” coat, I guess, can make the Texans seem like a below-the-fold story.
They are still playing way better than Shitsburgh.
The loss to the Colts was in the division, which is always possible and Hodor & Co. are playing very well as of late.
Wait, you can buy immigrant babies now? How much (ballpark)? Actually, I was hoping for kids a little older, who can do some useful work. I know it’s probably a legal gray area, but I have a crawl space that needs a good cleaning.
Buy Chinese, they’re smaller and can really get in those nooks and crannies.
I’d like to form a model railroading club in Southern California for young Chinese immigrant children to help them assimilate. We’ll design and build an impressive computerized N-Gauge layout with power supplies and switches and yards and mainlines and mountains and bridges and tunnels. I’d like to get a lot of local TV coverage with feel good stories showing the kids building the railroad.
My God that’s brilliant.
Replaced by the macaroni and cheese days of yellow mustard, Wonder bread, and Kool Aid of Lamar Time!
The Seahawks averaged ONE point per quarter during the first three quarters of last night’s game, against a team who specialized in going backwards most of the night. The last 15 points scored were flukey parting gifts by the Vikings who just wanted to get out of the foul weather of Seattle and back to the even shittier weather of Minneapolis but hey at least there you don’t have to go outside and there’s some decent looking women before they get fat as houses.
I feel like you are not jumping on to be the 13th man.
Fun fact: The equivalent of a “13th Man” among Colts fans is one-third of a fifth man.
/do the math – it checks out!
They should have called Wagner on the blocked FG.
Does it really matter? As you allude to, all it will mean is which respective opponent each will lose to in the first round.
The way they are playing now Pittsburgh doesn’t beat Houston in that stupid city, as proposed.
I was so pissed at that loss. I thought that Browns game I attended (also Zymm but she’s got higher aspirations in life) would be their last win ever in OAK. But no — once again Big Ben rips…..damn it, I can’t phrase this correctly. Point is, he forces himself on people against their will in bathrooms.
I heard a bunch of ‘fire Tomlin’ talk on the squeak box.
PIT fans are nuts.