Ever get picked last for any sport? Ever showed up to a store one minute after it closed? Did your fave resto run out of the ‘special’ that caught your eye? Ever gone to the fridge for that one last beer and realize that the one you just finished off was your last one?
Sure you have. These are First World problems and these are the sources (among many, many others) that cause us to feel disappointment. If I was a Seahawks/Niners tilt that gained sentience, I too would be disappointed about having to play the only other game in the 4pm window across from the Pats/Stillers tussle. I’d be wracked with self-esteem issues and would morbidly check the game’s ratings the following day so that I could wallow in inadequacy once again. TO THE GAMES!
Seattle/San Fran:
The one working headlight on the Seahawks “We’re Going To The Playoffs” bus can almost spot the post-season off on the horizon. A smackdown of a Niners team jockeying for draft position is just the ticket that is likely to get punched.*
*I’d like to make it clear that not in any way, shape or form is ‘ticket’ regarded by me to be gendered as female. Domestic violence is a serious issue-besides, the ticket was like that when I got here.
Pats/Steelers:
I yinzed up my basement by letting the toilet overflow, slashing the leather couch and drunk-texting my hot 20-something cousin. For today we are all free to let out that inner yinzer as we cheer against the Pats. [runs thru backyard wearing only an ill-fitting t-shirt] WWWWOOOOOOOOO!!!
There was beer at the beer store.
Ray Liotta sounds like his had a stroke in his Chantix commercial.
It’s one of the side effects. He also murdered three hobos.
Scotchy is Ray Liotta?
Can’t rule it out.
I keep waiting for him to pull out a knife and stab the wife and dog.
I was waiting for him to do that before he started doing Chantix commercials.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppVkx6h1Luc
You’re running it down their throat, and kick on 4th and 1 from the 10??
Got to love the Steelers faithful surprised their DB isn’t allowed to bear hug the receiver.
maybe not the worst fans in the NFL, but likely (apart from DFO contingent) the dumbest
BLERRGH!!!!!!
Now Fucking Carroll decides to run 3 times.
NE and PIT are both a bit shit
Oopsie daisy!
Three incompletes from the Stillers inside the 20, just imagine if they had a pro bowl running back they could give it to instead.
nah, better 2 pwn the union ,, smh
ha ha
LOLYinzers
SHANKLOR!
Good to see Josh “Cement Hands” Gordon has maintained his skills since leaving the Browns.
no way the 49ers win this but II can wish.
Captain.
Tracey Wolfson has a very specific set of skills… I’d hate to meet her in a dark bedroom…
will that be The Final Manningface? 🙁
/also two NFC Special Needs Division sides were shutout today, and neither was the Josh Johnson Redacteds in DUUUUUVAAAAAAAALLLL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApmvDU5RmyY
THE VERIZON HALFTIME REPORT:
“All of your data was hacked by a couple of kids from Estonia. It’s not really that serious, really.”
also remember that teh Facebook user agreement waives liability from all data breaches for any reason, forever
I did not authorize you to use my sexy body for your headline image.
“But it can still be an unknown unknown” — D. Rumsfeld
I would’ve did a Fake Punt Run after that Keystone Kops routine.
The refs were asking Belichick permission to overrule the call.
I weirdly like watching slow-motion replays in reverse
let the call stand!
That was early but I have no issue with the no call.
Jeeeeeeeesus
TOO FUCKIN DARK
-Donald T. Washington DC
WOOOOOOT!!
Whoa.
hee hee, I laughed
Jeeeeeeeeeezus
I have most of my travel planned out through Thanksgiving of next year. I’m not sure what to think about that.
Apparently I have one of those newfangled big instapot things now, but I already did most of the things I wanted to do with a pressure cooker when I had my little one, so now it’s like I have to go research to justify the money she spent on it.
Okay…how the fuck does a cabbie afford a New York apartment THAT BIG?!?!
The city was practically bankrupt in the 70s, plus that was the era of rent control
“Damn. Lost another one.”
-Suspension of Disbelief
Gronk musta spilled a beer or two on Tom’s exercise bands
They must have banned food from the booth, otherwise I don’t understand how Romo isn’t choking in December
OK, + one fumble.
Small, gritty white guy gaining yards vs. the Pats feels very The Onion-y.
Again, I say, Opposite Day
“A poet, a poet! Who doesn’t even throw it!” – Lamar Jackson
I don’t like it when the Steelers are winning but I do love it when the Pats are losing.
#notreallyconflicted
Hey Dok!
My quiche is ready.
How did yours turn out?
I was gonna make mine right before the night game. That looks great! What cheese did you use?
Parmigiano reggiano and a local Swiss like cheese called Holey Cow. So good.
Stop throwing to juju more to Antonio
Harfception!!!
What he said
HARF!
Can see bellicheck coaching acrobatics like grumble grumble more tumble
“If you can dodge a wrench…you can cover a punt”
New video card is physically installed, but I haven’t used this computer in a year, so downloading 1 million Windows Updates before installing the drivers…sigh
Did you clear all the dudes in kilts porn?
[sees all his pics being deleted, grabs knee, starts yelling]
Ryan Kerrigan: “Why MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!!?”
Oh my…that was a cray-cray play…
“You’ll be having sex on my couch like everyone else!” smgdh
Okay, I know that loses points because the Patriots did it, but it was still fun as hell.
cost Yinzers a hissy-fit challenge, too
Yeah, I love those THE END ZONE IS LAVA plays
I feel dirty rooting for the Pats.
you have lots of company, though
Oh, that was pretty