Week 15 Fallout:
These are the teams that were officially sent to a farm upstate. They are the Bills, Jets, Broncos, Bengals, Giants, Packers, Lions, Bucs and Falcons. No need to worry about them though, at this particular farm the refs have a very firm grasp on the ‘catch’ rule and have explained it to every player and coach. In addition, every game is a home game. No travelling! And meeting all the teams at the farm gate? Why, the one and only Colin Kaepernik! I’m sure the bidding war for his services will be quite the spectacle!
In other news-Gore Gone. For the rest of the year. Don’t even let the idea of his career being over escape your lips. I sure as heck am not going to commit to writing him off like I did last year and the year before that. Just a thought-a very smart organization would hire him as a player-coach next year. Should this occur I know for sure that he won’t be mentoring [spins the wheel] “Joe Mixon”.
Derrick Henry remains the biggest bastard man ever. Like, ever.
Eli is worse than you think he is. Also worse? The Giants other options at the QB spot.
Kenny Golladay went for 146 yards on 7 receptions. Yeah, he traversed nearly a football field and a half in a game where the winner scored 14 points and it wasn’t the Lions. smgdh.
I’ve called this a ‘passing league’. You’ve called this a ‘passing league’. I’ll just mention the rb’s that ran for a 100 yards or more this week. Here goes-Somebody Samuels, Kit Carson, “Gus” Edwards, Bastard Man Henry, Dalvinci Cook, Merlin Mack, “Tricky Dick” Mixon, Television Coleman, Nickolai Chubbovsky and Kato Ballage. I’m sure that there were more total tight ends and wr’s that ended up over that arbitrary number but you get my point, right? [wonders what his point was]
TO THE GAME!
Saints/Panthers:
Oh boy, I’ve waited all week to talk about this game! I don’t even know where to start! [presses listening device to ear] What’s that? The intro is over the 250 word minimum? Okay, then. See Ya!
“If you take out the ‘e’ away from Gore Gone, you’ll get something else entirely.”
-Perseus
The Tuesday New York Times mini crossword puzzle is a joke. 19 seconds. I think that means I finished faster than Rick Pitino.
All these Twitter geniuses shitting on Cam seem to have the same common denominator. Can you guess what it is?
They’re all cribbage fans?
Acute fecophilia?
Cocklaphobia?
I’m a stupid fucking loser.
Don’t worry Eric – Don Junior is the one going to jail.
People, I am sitting here eating cheese, drinking tea, and constructing an advice column. I’m not letting 2018 go down without a fight. (And don’t forget, advice requests to [email protected])
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That gif needs to be fixed/replaced.
Send it to the corn field Anthony.
Hmmmmm, seen that somewhere before…..
Goddamn hero…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoxhDk-hwuo
That’s fucking great.
I like that he was able to build it sturdy enough for many, many uses.
Never fuck with rocket scientists that have access to just random tech laying around the office.
“Same goes for bio-weapon scientists.”
-Guy with no face
Youtube comments really are the worst.
I skipped the game. You’re welcome, America.
Philly can win and have everything break their way and sit at 80% probability, or lose while Minny wins and get eliminated. Sports are stupid. Why do people gamble with this shit?
“WAAAT?”
-Hippo
So we finally get to some good bowl games tomorrow, yes?
/checks schedule
OH COME ON!!!!!!!
All that’s left is the Sad Cam Newton Press Conference Hat Watch.
That’s not a palpably unfair act, or a fake spike, or a one point safety!
Whoo! Iggles up to 40% playoff odds. Statistical lock!
I have more confidence in Kacy Catanzaro than Chandler Catanzaro.
I had to Google that. Still prefer Casey Anthony.
Ideally this would end in a 12-12 tie. But that’s asking too much.
I would freeze to death but worth it!!
Glad to see your thumbs live to see another day.
-ish
A pick 2 and an endzone fumble. Hell yes. All the fluky shit.
We no can haz pylon cam?
Mike Ditka’s Saints teams are impressed by this level of ineptitude in the current edition.
Palpably unfair act for oddity bingo, right?
Jeezus. What a batshit game.